I woke up with an insane headache and my throat itching and burning like you wouldn't believe. A nurse was carefully adjusting an IV needle in my forearm and typing something into a machine.

"Hey, sweetie," she said.

I tried to speak but my throats felt thick and sore. I coughed and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Don't try to talk, that'll make it hurt worse. We pumped your stomach. It'll probably be sore for a couple of days, but I'll get you something for it."

She shuffled out and I wanted to yell at her to come back. Instead, I watched my mom slam the door open and collapse onto my torso sobbing.

"Marley Marley Marley Marley Marley Marley Marley," she garbled.

I felt awkward and stiffened up when her fingers grazed my shoulder. The touch reminded me of his.

"Mom," I choked out finally.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did you do this? Marley."

"Mom."

"Marley! Why did you do this? Why didn't you tell someone? What happened? Why?"

"Mom. Please."

"Marley, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"No."

My mom sniffled and sat up, dragging a chair from the corner up next to my bed. "I'm sorry, Marley." She bit her lip. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," I lied.

"Good, should I get a nurse?"

Just as I began thinking of how I was going to explain that a nurse had already come in with only a few words, the old nurse stepped through the door.

"How are you feeling, Marley?"

I glanced at her name tag. Darcy Diamonds. She sounds like a movie star, looks like one too. She has short black hair, chopped to her chin, and dark red lips. Even her white nurses' scrubs look like a costume.

"Good."

Darcy looked at my mom and smiled at me. "Ms. Hilt, can I have just a few moments with your daughter alone?"

"Yes. Of course." My mom stood up and walked out slowly.

"How are you?" she repeated.

"Tired. Throat hurts. Head hurts. Tired. Tired."

She smiled. "All to be expected. Here, I got these just for you. I'm supposed to give you the cherry ones, but those are disgusting. I got you strawberry swirl."

Darcy dropped two cough drops in my hands and I unwrapped them slowly, silently thanking her as I tossed my head back and pressed them to my tongue.

"I also got you some ice chips." She set the cup and plastic spoon on the beside table and grinned. "Anything else?"

"Head."

"I'm sorry, I can't give you any pills. Cause... you know..."

I nodded once.

"I'll leave you alone for a while. Try to finish that whole cup and get some rest. Later your family can visit and you can see a woman named Doctor Lee. She's a therapist."

Before I could say anything, she was gone.

•••

"Marley," a small voice whispered.

My eyelids fluttered open and I saw my sister, her hair falling and creating a curtain around our faces.

"Sammy, I'm —"

"I hate you," she whispered harshly, her tongue darting out to brush her bottom lip. "You almost died. You didn't tell anyone. I'm your sister."

I opened my mouth and tried to reply.

"I hate you," she repeated.

And then she was gone.

Therapist lady showed up ten minutes later with a clipboard and a bag of peppermints.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lee. I heard your throat hurts, so I brought you these. My daughter had strep throat once and ate these by the handful."

My eyes clouded over as the mints fell into my shaky hands. I peeled it open and sucked the candy dry. She thought of me.

"Thank you," I said in a hoarse voice.

She only smiled. "So, Marley, what made you decide to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Commit suicide."

My fingers, glazed with sweat, picked at a loose fiber in the sheets. "Dunno."

"Marley, c'mon now. I'm here to help you."

I don't reply.

"Marley?"

My throat dried up.

"Marley, I've talked to your mother. We've decided you need to sent somewhere where you can get professional help."

My brain spun in circles. "What?" I croaked.

"We're sending you to Greenview Mental Institute."

Her words rolled across my ears like water on oil. I swallowed hard. No, I'm not a psycho. I'm not a mental patient. I'm just Marley.

As if on cue, my mother walked in sheepishly holding a blue duffel bag. Dr. Lee smiled at my mom and walked out, clutching her clear plastic clipboard like a lifeline.

"Marley... this is for the best. Okay? You understand, right? I love you so much honey." Tears fell from her cheeks. "I can't lose you."

I dropped my head and tried to wish this all away.

•••

Greenview was huge. It smelled just like my hospital room, but with a tinge of rubbing alcohol tickling my nose.

The check-in desk was adorned with paper smiley faces covered in sloppy handwriting. I read one of them.

I love the staff at Greenview. They make me feel hopeful.

"Hi! Are you already registered?"

"Yes. I'm Callie Hilt. My daughter, Marley, is checking in."

The woman smiled and typed something into her computer. "Perfect! She's all checked in. Her room is on hall 4, room 6. She has a roommate as well."

"Thank you. Is that all?"

"Did you happen to bring any stuff?"

"Yes, weren't we supposed to?"

"Generally Greenview provides clothing and accessories for residents, but a few personal items are allowed. We have to search it though."

My mom handed the bag to the woman who smiled again. She smiles too much. I want to slap her.

"Sorry, I'll have to take the string out of this hoodie. We can't have this picture frame, because it's glass. Nothing sharp."

"But that picture frame has a note from my dad in it," I whimpered.

The woman's smile faltered. She popped open the cardboard backing and slid the note out. Then she handed the frame back to my mom after carefully tucking the letter in the inside pocket of the bag.

"There. Everything else looks good! Go ahead and find your room. There will be a schedule on her bed and a map of the campus. It's 2:30, so her roommate is in Education Group. Don't expect her back until about 4."

"Thank you so much."

Mom clenched my hand like a lifeline and pulled me to her side. We wandered down several hallways until we found hall 4 and room 6. My toes are numb and my heart is climbing up my throat as we push the door open.

The start of a new me. Mental Ward Marley.