You had just finished work and were walking towards the main gate, with your phone in your hand and your mind travelling to all the events that had occurred today.

This morning that you woke up and walked out the door, you definitely hadn't guessed this day to turn out such a mess but maybe you should be thankful that it didn't continue all the way in the same intensity, since once Taehyung dropped you over, despite the hour being way passed your break time, Namjoon had said nothing to you nor had appeared around often.

Most likely you assumed that he could be embarrassed by the misunderstanding he caused with Elle and his brother. A misunderstanding that wasn't exactly that but he didn't need to know.

Truth was that despite having agreed to all these things Jin was thinking of, you were still reluctant about this mostly because it didn't seem like your place to help. However, Elle's feelings were something you couldn't ignore because they were transmitted to you.

She made you think how would it feel to be forgotten like that. What kind of taste would that pain have, of having a person you love being erased from your life in a day. It scared you as an occurrence because it was proof that nothing is absolute in life and even the things we take for granted and never even consider the possibility of them changing, it can be taken from us in a moment.

Such thoughts had been running in your mind since you had gotten back on your desk, or better to say, her desk. It sure felt like it belonged to her despite the fact that she was just a worker. There were times she seemed like she owned the place when she walked around and despite Elle's absence today, everything still had something of her around. It made you wonder if Namjoon felt the same. If he too was suffering for her despite him not being aware of it.

You would have liked the idea that he was, even though so far you were aware that he was an insomniac by choice and has amnesia. However, the way Elle spoke about their relationship and Jin claimed of him as someone who wouldn't play with someone's feelings like that, then he must have loved her too and maybe the absence of her in his memories was what was really making him suffer. Or that may be just you trying to romanticize the situation and find something under his harsh and unfair behaviour towards her.

It just felt reassuring to believe that love doesn't die so easily. That someone's feelings can't get erased just because their memories did. It sure was a sweet and most likely an unrealistic thought that you wanted to hold on to.

Love was never an easy subject for you, but whoever you had loved, you had never stopped loving them. No matter if they were with you now or not. No matter how a circle had gone down, you had never managed to make someone you loved, a stranger again.

When Helena died, for example, many used to tell you to forget about her existence and move on with your life. She was far away from you physically anyways so her absence wasn't supposed to be reflected in your everyday life. And you had tried to listen to their advice however every time you tried to erase her you felt guilty, for she hadn't done anything to deserve that. Just because your friendship at the end became a hurtful memory, that didn't mean that she of the past, ever hurt you intentionally.

It had taken you some time to not blame her for missing, despite the fact that her death was accidental. You were aware that she wanted to die way before you ever tried it and it annoyed you initially, the fact that she could possibly be happy that she is gone. Happy that she isn't around anymore. It felt like treason. It felt like abandonment and your egoism had you in its claws for a long time, till you accepted that your emotions came from you and how you handle them, ends up making you who you are.

You were never perfect not you considered yourself to be good or a better human than anyone, however opening up about those conflicted thoughts was something you still hasn't managed to do with anyone. Not even Sira.

Watching Namjoon these days and especially today had made you wonder if you appear to like him sometimes. If you too, close off as strictly as he does when in pain, to the point that you could make the people that care about you, feel powerless to help you.

You most likely do. You literally closed yourself off for three months after breaking up with Jimin and cared none about Sira or Jungkook that were waiting for a sign outside that door of yours. Anything that would allow them to help you.

It had always been obvious that you had issues with receiving help. It always felt better to do something alone because you didn't want to become a burden to anyone and even though you know that they will understand you, seeing Namjoon made you think that understanding doesn't change the fact that whoever is left out, was feeling rejected.

Your chest felt heavy at the realization as you proceeded to type a text to Sira which she most likely will see as random.

"I love you and appreciate you a lot. Now and always."

You send it with a slight feeling of guilt that should have existed sooner but it was okay because you still have time to better yourself. For as long as you understand your mistakes, you can correct them and you will do your best to do so.

"Babe~" A voice called out to you once you stepped out of the gate, making you halt your steps and turn around, only to witness Jimin standing by the side of his car, with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"Jimin, what are you doing here?" Your face lit up upon seeing him and you rushed towards his now open embrace that received you with enthusiasm and warmth.

"I made time to come pick you up." He replied as you pulled away then he proceeded to offer you the flowers he was holding that didn't fail to make you smile.

"And how come you bought me flowers? Are we celebrating something I forgot?"

"I don't know. I just bought them cause I have been thinking of you all day and I felt the need to thank you for making my thoughts happy. But if we need a celebrating reason then, how about the fact that we slept together for the first time." He suggested as he brought his arms around your waistline and softly pulled you closer to his body.

"Shut up" you murmured, finding the fact that he even brought that up, embarrassing, but you smiled anyway once he did, then leaned in to capture your lips, in a kiss he has been waiting to give you all day long.

"Mm enough, someone might see us" you pushed him slightly and Jimin giggled at how cute you were being.

"Honey, we aren't secret lovers. So what if someone's sees? You are my girlfriend." He reminded you, his hand reaching to your forehead and poking on it slightly with his index finger.

"Now get in the car. We are going home." He took hold of your hand and walked you to the passenger's seat then opened the door for you and you smiled at him, before stealing a quick peck from his cheek then entering inside.

Your sweet interaction had him laughing as he walked towards the other side of the car, but had Namjoon -who had happened to pass by the monitoring room as you were leaving, and was watching you through the security cameras - observe you two with a blank expression on his face.

It took him a moment to recognize Jimin from afar however once it clicked, he widened his eyes, surprised that he was your boyfriend apparently. His brother had told him once that you were in a relationship but he had cared less to know however now that your boyfriend turned out to be, the eldest son of Mr Park, he couldn't help but find you suddenly impressive.

That dude had a reputation of being bitter and cold. Everyone on the business circle used to speak of Jimin as a Cerberus dog that guarded his father's interest no matter what means he had to use. He had established a slight fear and respect that Namjoon personally considered admiring for someone of Jimin's age. Yet such a man apparently is in a relationship with his secretary. You definitely must be something, he had thought, yet it wasn't that from the little that he knew you, he hadn't already realized that.

"Now I get why I found her familiar when Elle first introduced her to me. She was most likely that woman that was dancing with the young Park at my brother's engagement part." He concluded to himself, recalling slightly that night and the murmurs of the kiss you and Jimin had shared on the dance floor that had spread like wildfire among the guests. They were commenting on it so much that even someone like him that wasn't even interested in such, didn't manage to escape the unnecessary thoughts of the others around him.

"Wasn't she dating that one other guy that night though?" He looked towards the ceiling, doubting his memory as but he soon just shrugged his shoulders as he didn't care.

He proceeded to press the button that locked everything around the place and walked out of the room, now feeling more secured in this huge house of his that was empty.

It was strange to him, how even before losing his memory, as his brother had told him, he never used to let anyone inside his Villa. None but his secretary of course. He used to go to work at their company every day instead of working from the office of his home however he still used to have Elle by his side in and out of working hours, they had told him. A piece of information that he grew the need to change with time because she surely made him uncomfortable and unsafe. Yet tonight that she isn't around till late, he found himself pacing up and down the empty corridors, with a slight hope that she would appear somewhere like a creep that she used to be.

Her name started swirling in his mind again, as in most days does because of the suspicions he carries for her but tonight it was because of everything he had done earlier and the things he had said. He sure had embarrassed himself and had misunderstood her, yet despite the fact that Jin called him and explained to him any questions he had about their secret relationship, gathering the courage and apologize to her as he should, was something he found himself unable to do yet.

It wasn't that he didn't believe in Jin's words, for even if he wanted to not, Jin had no reason to lie for her, to not mention that their relationship made so many other things make sense. It was just that he somehow found himself being doubtful over her, now in a different way. Or better to say, he found doubts upon his own self regarding her.

If she was only looking after him because his brother asked her too then why had he misunderstood her care and the way she would look towards him, as a romantic intention. If Elle was not trying to lure him in, then why the heck did he felt threatened by her existence around him.

All those questions he had rose to himself had also brought a potential answer that he liked to deny, for he would like to believe that he was not someone who would look after someone's else woman when he already has one himself.  One he is supposed to love and he tells himself that he does, for when he is with her, he doesn't feel threatened in any way.

Isn't who makes you feel safe supposed to be the one that is actually right for you?

---To be continued...