I'm so Fucking tired.

Tired of everything.

I've Always been like this. A mess.

Pretending I'm fine.

But I can't pretend anymore.

I want to Fucking die. I can't Fucking live like this.
Everyone hates me.
And all I do is push people away before they leave.
Because I am fucking dumb.
I'm
Stupid.
My best friend threw my entire stash away the other day.
And I Fucking cussed her out and told her to leave, which she did, then came back a few hours later. And held me. While I cried myself to sleep. Then I had a Fucking nightmare in my sleep and haven't slept since. I've been smoking again and haven't gone more than an hour without a drink.
I'm going down that path again but I don't really give a fuck anymore.
I saw *insert dealer name* today he Refused to give me anything. Why the hell is everyone concerned NOW!! it's too late now.