"Well, it's showtime, everyone! I hope I portray your character adequately well! Evan, hit it!" 

"Yes, my lady..." 

"Three... two... one..." 

"A Zodiac Applyfic, Act 1, Scene One, Take One!" 

"ACTION!" 

*clack!*

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the council room of the high ruler of Heaven and Hell, Ophiuchus bowed down on one knee. "You called, Master?" 

Universe looked up from his screen. His starry wings flicked in irritation at the sight of Ophiuchus bowing. "I did. And no need to be so formal." 

"Sorry, Mas-Universe. Force of habit." Ophiuchus stood up. "What can I do for you?" 

"Glad you asked!" and yep, there was the Universe that Ophiuchus knew. "You know the zodiacs?" 

"You mean the group of twelve that are named after the zodiacs?" 

"Well, that was back in the old days. They have normal names now-and there are two twins for Gemini. But yes, the spirit of each ancient zodiac lives within them." Universe looked up at the screen, where a picture and information about the thirteen. "Every time they appear, they're supposed to save the world from some great danger, right?" 

"I believe so." 

"Exactly. But, er..." Universe took off his top hat and scratched his head. "Apparently, it would appear that this generation's zodiacs seem to... er... fight. Like, a lot." 

"I don't understand," Ophiuchus said, frowning. "That shouldn't be too big of a problem, should it?" 

"Normally it wouldn't, but their argument rates have skyrocketed ever since they hit adolescence. I hate hormones. Because of that, there have been many complaints filed about them destroying places and causing disruptions in the peace," Universe explained, pouting. "And do you know what kind of overload that causes on my head?" 

Ophiuchus ignored the last part. "So what do you want me to do? I can't force them to be at peace, if that's what you have in mind." 

"No," Universe said. "I called you here so that you can go and pick up the zodiacs. Their punishment, unanimously decided by the NPCs, is that they have to participate in their tests. It is our hope that through them they will learn how to get along." 

"I see," Ophiuchus said, though there was a tone of uncertainty in his voice. "And what about Orion, sir?"

Universe swiped his screen to another one, looking at a picture of Orion. "Ah... we have to first take care of the zodiacs, but don't overlook him either." 

"He's determined to find System, isn't he?" 

Universe sighed. "Of course he is. If he found System he could take control of Heaven and Hell. If only we knew who System was... but never mind that. Do you know your mission?" 

Ophiuchus bowed again. "Yes, Universe. I will get the zodiacs and report back as fast as I can." He spread his wings and disappeared with a flash of light. 

Universe looked out the window. "Geez... I really hope he doesn't get distracted..." 

~*~

While was this happening... 

"Hey! What do you think you're doing to that poor girl?!" 

Amanda put her hands on her hips defiantly as she glared at the white-haired boy, who was in the act of dragging a little girl away with her. The boy spun around and met Amanda's glare. "Excuse me, but I was just about to return her to her parents!" 

"Oh yeah?" Amanda narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Then why did it look like she was being forced to go?" 

"It's not my fault if I'm bad at interacting with people!" the boy said defensively. "I saw her wandering around and I thought-" 

"Okay, this is getting more and more suspicious!" Amanda declared. "For one thing, what's a demon doing in Heaven? I thought you all rotted down in Hell, not dragging innocent girls with you." 

"Excuse me?" the boy hissed, letting go of the little girl, who ran off, but his attention was more focused on Amanda. "Take that back. You snotty Angels know nothing of the things we're forced to go through every day just because you people don't know how to acknowledge your own faults!" 

Amanda felt her temper flare-probably her hair along with it, too. Who did this boy think he was?! She always tried to help and defend people in need! "Excuse you, I always try to help people! What've you done, clean up poo?" 

"There's no need, we just push it into the lava," and Amanda blinked before she realized the boy was being sarcastic. "Why, you planning to take a trip there too? That would fit, Angels are living poo anyway." 

This time she was consciously aware as her hands lit on fire. "That's it! I've been trying to keep my temper, but I can't just let you insult my race like that!" 

"Ooo, scary," the boy mocked, getting into a battle-ready position as well. "Come at me, fire-brain!" Around them the crowd parted around them as Amanda tensed to leap at him. 

"Stop this nonsense, please." 

They looked up, then Amanda gasped when Ophiuchus flew down from the sky. "Let's see... one 'Amanda Petronilla Beararducci', and one 'Bliss White,' found." He checked their names off his list on his tablet.

"Hey, we're busy here, mister," the boy-Bliss?-said in annoyance. "If you wanna fight then I'll be glad to take you on too." 

"Can you shut up?" Amanda hissed at him. "Don't you know who he is?" 

"No, because I'm from Hell, where we don't care about ridiculous things like ranking." 

"As expected, I-" 

"That's enough," Ophiuchus said seriously. "I still have to get ten more of you and if every single scenario is gonna be like that then I'm just gonna straight up kidnap you." 

"Kidnap?" Bliss asked incredulously. "You look barely old enough to drive!" 

"Thank you, I'll take that as a compliment," Ophiuchus said absentmindedly. "Now, let's see..." He clicked on something on his tablet, then started reading. "Amanda Petronilla Beararducci. Last fight with a zodiac: right now. Devastation caused: none, but there would've been some destruction if I haven't stepped in." 

Bliss smirked, but Ophiuchus wasn't done. "Bliss White. Last fight with a zodiac: a week ago. Devastation caused: five lives were taken, a section of the market was destroyed. Because of that," He looked up and met their gaze levelly as he touched down. "You are now subject to follow me, where you shall await your punishment." He snapped his fingers and suddenly a van appeared in the air behind him. 

"Um... dude, there is no way in hell I'm getting into that." Bliss said. "Literally." The van was painted like the starry sky with a flying pegasus on the side of it, but it was old and battered, with the paint flaking off, and lots of stickers plastered all over it. The front lights were slightly shattered, and the windows were cracked a little. It looked like it would collapse the minute the engine revved. And, if Bliss was being completely honest, it less resembled a van and more like... well, he didn't know, but it absolutely screamed danger and suspicion.

"Oh don't worry, she's enhanced with a spell that makes sure she won't fall apart," Ophiuchus said, fondly patting the side of the car. "Now get in." He hopped into the driver's seat. 

They looked at one another. "I'll get in if you do," Amanda challenged him. He grinned. "You're on." He stepped into the van and hit with the musty scent of cheeseburgers and lavender. "Oof." The leather seats were peeling. Amanda got in after him, wrinkling her nose at the smell. 

There was already a person sitting in the back-a blonde-haired, red-eyed male, who was staring out the window and for some reason had a tawny owl perched on his shoulder. He said nothing-in fact, it seemed that he was trying to become invisible. 

"Wait!" Bliss suddenly yelled. "Whats-your-name, how long will we be gone? I have a twin brother waiting for me back home!" 

"Don't worry, we'll make sure to swing around and get him," Ophiuchus called back. "And don't call me that, my name is Ophiuchus." 

"This feels dangerous," Amanda muttered as the engine revved and the entire car shook. 

"It's perfectly safe!" Ophiuchus yelled back. "Now buckle in, we're taking off!" 

"Wait, this car flie-SSSSS?!" A moment later the car rocketed into the sky. Amanda said her prayers. "I'msorryIdidn'teatenoughgelatoandI'msorryIwasn'tabletogetaperfectscoreonemyte-"

"Can you shut it?!" Bliss shouted over the roar of the engine at her. His face was pale, and she spotted a dark disk appear briefly over his head before disappearing as he clutched for dear life on the seats. "Or I'm gonna lose my lunch!" 

"Ew!" she squealed, edging away from him. 

"Don't worry," the boy in the back spoke for the first time. Somehow miraculously, he seemed undeterred. Even his owl was looking at them like, You noobs, look at how pathetic you look. We're so cool, being undeterred. "You'll get used to it eventually." 

"When is eventually, exactly?!" Bliss asked, clapping a hand over his mouth. 

"Eventually." 

"THAT DOESN'T HELP-" 

~*~

Turtle hummed pleasantly as she skipped leisurely through the fields of hell. "Morning, Turtle!" She waved a random demon. "Morning!" She was in a particularly good mood today, evident by her bright pink and yellow hair-today was the day where the army demons would return, and she'd be able to hopefully catch a few more good moves to try out. 

Halfway there, she felt a subtle shift go through her, and then suddenly her view was obscured by a pair of long bangs. A long ponytail tickled her-or should she say his-knees. "You're back already, Kuro?" The voice that came out was quiet and slightly deeper. Yes, Kuro whispered in his ear. Something's coming. I'm not sure what. "All right," Turtle sighed. "Thanks for telling me." 

- - - 

Ophiuchus was really starting to get annoyed. He hadn't thought that it would've been this difficult to just get thirteen teens, but they were teenagers, and boy, they were loud. He could feel a migraine forming as they argued in the back over whether dark coffee or mocha was more adequate to describe it. He was tempted to make them all quiet down, but Universe had specifically told him not to use his powers if not strictly necessary. 

But doesn't this count as 'necessary'? He thought, grinding his teeth at the sound of a particularly loud curse. I hate being old. 

Finally they landed in the fields of Hell. "We're in Hell again?" a girl, Ariana, complained. In total, there were currently five zodiacs. Only seven to go. 

"The next person should be around here," Ophiuchus replied, veering the van down. It landed with a thump, and he got out. He glared at them before leaving. "If I return to chaos, it's not gonna be pretty." 

After a moment's debate, Ophiuchus spread his wings and flew over the fields. Soon, he spotted a lone figure standing there-who appeared to be female. There! He swooped down, then called, "Hello." 

The person turned around, and Ophiuchus faltered in the air as he was met with a pretty handsome face, even though his eyes were hidden mostly by his long bangs. They were male, not female-and a handsome one at that. He cursed his weakness for hot guys, before getting back on track. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were a girl," he apologized. 

The boy chuckled softly. "It's okay. I get that a lot."

"Don't mind me asking, but are you..." he checked his tablet. "'Turtle Jean Riplesea?'" 

"Oh, you're here for Turtle?" the boy asked. "One minute." He inhaled a little, then Ophiuchus blinked in surprise as the ponytail disappeared and he was met with a cheerful, very obviously female, person. "Hey there!" She chirped. "You wanted to talk to me?" 

"What the..." Ophiuchus had seen a lot of weird things, but that might just top the list. Then it clicked. "You're genderfluid." 

She nodded. "Correcto-moondo!" He watched in fascination as her hair twisted into tendrils of yellow tipped with blue. "Though I personally like to claim that I am actually female and I get inhabited by a spirit." 

"Uh... okay, moving on from that," Ophiuchus looked at his tablet. "Turtle Jean Riplesea. Last fight with a zodiac: a few days ago. Devastation: a few buildings destroyed." 

"Hey, it wasn't my fault!" she defended herself. "Einar was hitting on a girl, again, and clearly her husband was getting annoyed, so I stepped in for that idiot myself." she rolled her eyes. "He's such an arrogant prat." 

"Einar Theodore?" Ophiuchus asked, then reflexively scowled when she nodded. "I don't like their family much, but there's nothing we can do about that." In all matters of truth, he absolutely despised the Theodore's only daughter-Vanira. He could possibly stand the brother, but would not tolerate the sister. 

"Yeah, well, I'm with you there, buddy," Turtle said. "Anywho, what do you want to talk to me about? And what's up with the van floating in the air behind you?"

Ophiuchus blinked again. "You can see the van?" 

"Of course I can see the van," Turtle said, starting to get annoyed. Her hair started turning into a fizzy orange color. "Nice paint job, but how in the world is it floating?"

"Yeah, okay, I don't have enough patience to deal with why you can see through my invisibility charm. Long story short, you're in trouble for that and now we're taking you to see Universe." He jabbed a thumb at the van. "Hop in." 

Oh-kay, so that totally wasn't suspicious. Turtle frowned as the guy hopped into the driver's seat. From her report of his stats, his name was Ophiuchus and he apparently had three powers, one of which was Negation, which would be troublesome. Whatever! She shrugged and climbed into the van, and was met with five other faces. 

There was a white-haired boy, who was in the middle of a glaring contest with a fiery-haired girl. In the very back was a blonde boy who, for some reason, had a tawny owl perched on his shoulder. There was a boy with a tan and tousled brown hair, who was prodding a water droplet in the air, and a girl with dark brown hair and eyes who had a slightly hostile aura. Turtle brightened when she recognized the last face. "Eira!" 

Eira looked up at her. "Turtle! You're here too?" 

"Yep!" The two exchanged a warm hug, then Turtle let out a surprised yelp as the van took off. "WHAT-" she stumbled. "IS" she fell. "HE" she tumbled into a seat. "DOING?!" 

"As if we haven't asked that ourselves so many times," the white-haired boy said sarcastically. "I'm pretty sure we're all getting kidnapped and he's secretly a witch." 

"For the last time, he's Ophiuchus, and he's a very powerful Angel!" the fiery-haired girl said in annoyance, crossing her arms. "So don't piss him off!" 

"I prefer not to call myself an Angel, thanks!" Ophiuchus called. Turtle lurched forward with the car as the car accelerated. "Gods, he's got to be going over the speed limit." 

"Mm, don't worry," the tanned boy said, twirling a stream of water around his fingers. "We'll all probably die, but I'll be sure to pray for you." 

"What?!" Turtle yelped. Her hair reacted with her, exploding outward in a poof of green. "Sorry, sorry," she apologized quickly, taking a deep breath and shifting it to a plain brown. "Happens without my knowledge all the time." 

"You'll get to it eventually," the owl boy said distantly, still staring out the window. 

"I beg to differ," The dark-haired girl said, looking pale as the car lurched again.

"Oh. Er... okay." 

They rode in silence for a few minutes, save for a few swerves here and there, before the auburn-head decided to crack the ice. "So, what're all your names? I'm Amanda." 

"Bliss." 

"Eira, here." 

"... Ariana."

"Haru..." 

"I'm Hunter!" 

"And I'm Turtle!" Turtle flashed a bright smile at all of them. "So, we're all sure we're gonna survive, right?" 

"Of course," Eira said casually-to her. She was avoiding the other people. "If we don't, then welp. I really hope my mom will salvage my computer." 

"But I didn't even get to bring my guitar!" Hunter panicked. "And I didn't even get to drink a fruit smoothie yet!" 

"CALM DOWN," Ophiuchus's voice rang over the wired-in intercom. "NOBODY'S GONNA DIE." 

"You don't even look old enough to drive," Bliss called unabashedly. 

"C'mon, that doesn't matter," Amanda said. "I just want to know what I did wrong! I always tried to help people!" 

"Oh yeah? Then try and explain why you picked a fight with me." 

"Pardon? If you had perhaps tried to look a little less suspicious I would've let you be!" 

"I already told you, I-" 

"Okay, stop fighting!" Turtle's hair reached out and separated them. "Like Amanda said, we shouldn't piss off Ophi!" 

"Sorry, but you haven't earned the privilege of calling me Ophi yet!" Ophiuchus shouted through the intercom. "Just call me Ophiuchus." 

Hunter stared in fascination at Turtle's hair, reaching out. "Can I play with it?" 

Turtle shrugged offhandedly, turning around. "Sure, why not. I'll keep it long."

"Well, I guess we got the okay that he's fine," Eira commented as Hunter enthusiastically started braiding. "He's... cool." She made finger guns, then snow started to fall lightly. "Aw shoot, not again! I was sure that I'd be able to make a snow pun this time without it snowing!" 

"That happens?" Haru asked curiously. 

Eira nodded. "Yeah. Like, watch this. It's ice to meet you snow-y much!" Right on cue it started snowing even harder. Small ice crystals grew in the corner of the van. "See?" 

"Wow, that sucks," Haru said sympathetically. 

"Yeah," Eira sighed.

"While we're on the topic of memes and puns," Bliss cut in. "Let's have a meme war!" 

Ariana groaned. "No. No. The last time I had a meme war we all ended up-" 

"Ooo, you're on!" Eira said enthusiastically. 

"First one to falter loses," Bliss challenged, and then they fired off.

This time, Ophiuchus kept the intercom on so he could pick up some good memes and puns to use on his friends. 

~*~

Einar was not having a good week. First of all, Turtle had stopped him from hitting on that perfectly hot lady, which made no sense. Then Vanira accidentally (or not) blew her top and killed another maid, filling the hallways with the stench of blood-which was ruining his clothes and thereby preventing girls from coming near him. 

Vanira skipped up to him. "Look, Einar, at this interesting human heart!" She proudly displayed a heart in her hand, and Einar cringed. "Sis, if you don't mind, can you please refrain from dissecting humans after we've just had lunch? I really want to keep that pizza in my stomach, thanks very much." 

Vanira pouted. "Aw, you're ruining my fun. But fine, since you're my dear brother, I will allow it." She pecked his cheek then skipped away. 

"Ugh... I really need to find someone with a detoxification ability..." Einar groaned. "How am I supposed to attract ladies if I stink of blood?" 

He wandered farther into their castle, trying to get some clear air. Not that there was any real 'clear air' in Hell, anyway. 

Suddenly there was a bright flash of light and Ophiuchus appeared, looking extremely uncomfortable. "One 'Einar Theodore' and one 'Vanira Theodore found.'" 

"You're Ophiuchus, aren't you?" Einar breathed, not sure whether to be annoyed there was someone more powerful than him, terrified, or in awe. "The thrice-gifted family killer." 

Ophiuchus scowled. "Yes, and you and your sister are the famous duo that got kicked out of Heaven for killing countless people." 

Vanira ran up. "Einar, I'm bored! What do I do-ohhhhhhhh..." Her eyes went wide. "It's Ophiuchus..." 

Ophiuchus closed his eyes. "I. Hate this. Anyway, now that you are both here, I'd like to get out as soon as possible. This place reeks of horrible deeds. Einar Theodore. Last fight with a zodiac: a few days ago. Devastation-oh forget it you fought with Turtle and I already got her. Vanira Theodore. Last fight with a zodiac-oh wait, actually, Universe just wants to you because you killed so many people. And no, don't give me that innocent look, I'm an Empath." 

She and Einar exchanged looks. "So? What's it to you?" 

"What's it to me is that Universe has ordered me to collect you and the other zodiacs to await your punishment," Ophiuchus answered irritably. He snapped his fingers and the van appeared. "Get in." 

Einar eyed him suspiciously, but shrugged and walked towards the van-choosing to ignore the horrible paint job. Hopefully it'll be more exciting-and there might even be hot girls. 

"Wait," Ophiuchus said as Vanira passed him. He cringed and touched her wrist. Immediately a glowing green-yellow circle appeared around her wrist, then faded. "There we go." 

"Wait, what did you do?!" Vanira asked in a panic as he jumped into the driver's seat. Einar paused in the act of opening the door. "Sis?" 

"Relax, it's just a temporary twenty-four-hour ability remover spell," Ophiuchus called. "Don't think I haven't done my homework, Miss Theodore. I know plenty well every single thing you have done and personally, I'd like to keep everyone alive. The spell will also make you feel calmer and can only be lifted by me or Universe." 

Vanira screamed in frustration, but then she blinked. "Oh my-okay, Einar, let's go!" She skipped towards Einar and yanked open the door. 

Einar frowned when he saw Turtle sitting there-female this time-in the middle of getting an elaborate hairdo by a tanned guy. But still, hot girls were hot girls, and Turtle certainly qualified. Besides, even with all her faults, she was a valuable friend. "Hey, sweetheart," he said, winking. "How's it goin' for you today-" 

Without even looking at him she gave him the middle finger. "F*ck off, you womanizer." 

A girl with dark brown hair laughed. "Nice one, girl!" 

Einar pouted. "T! Haven't we been friends for years now-" 

"The Einar who isn't a womanizer is my friend," Turtle replied. "The Einar who is a womanizer is most definitely not." 

"Hey, we should have an insults contest next," an auburn-haired girl said. Einar moved towards her, but stopped and pouted and sat down instead under Turtle's scathing glare. "I call first with Whitey." 

"It's Bliss, Firehead," a white-haired boy said in annoyance, crossing his arms. Einar noticed one more quiet boy in the back who had an owl on his shoulder. 

"'Bliss?'" Vanira echoed, sitting down next to Einar, eyeing the others with distaste. "What a ridiculous name." 

"Oh yeah? That's hot, coming from the likes of you-" 

"If I have to hear you guys argue ONE MORE TIME, I'm seriously gonna lose it!" Hunter yelled, tired of their arguing. "You're breaking my concentration!!" 

The door slid open and another girl stepped in. She froze at the sight in front of her. "Uhh... did I come at a bad time?" 

"YES, YOU DID," Bliss and Amanda yelled at the same time Turtle said, "No, not at all, make yourself at home!" and at the same time Einar said, "Can I hit on her?" Whiiiiich left a pretty awkward silence. 

And then at the same time, 

Turtle: "NO, YOU CANNOT!" 

Hunter: "Stop moving, I'm almost done!" 

The girl: "Please stop fighting..." 

Vanira: "When is this stupid spell wearing off?! Once it does Ophiuchus you're so going on my list of kill slowly and torturously!!" 

Einar: "What? Why not? All the ladies love me~" 

Ariana: "My head hurts, ugh just please be quiet..."

And the owl screeched loudly. 

"CAN EVERYONE PLEASE SHUT IT?!" Ophiuchus finally snapped loudly, and they all fell silent. 

Ten minutes passed in total silence before the girl spoke up. She took a seat next to Eira. "Um... so my name's Zaalia. And I'm pretty sure we're getting kidnapped."

"Don't we all think so," Bliss said wryly, leaning back. 

"Anndd... done!" Hunter finished with a proud look on his face. He snapped a photo and showed it to Turtle. "What do you think?" 

Turtle patted her head and beamed. "It's great! I'll refrain from changing my hair for as long as I can, though keep this picture so I can take the appearance of it again if Ophiuchus crashes." 

"I am NOT gonna crash!" Ophiuchus yelled, just as the van rocked violently and bumped to a landing on the ground. 

"Yeah, right..." 

~*~

Unfortunately for Ophiuchus, it didn't appear that things were gonna be quiet for him. Every time a new zodiac got on, it would appear that Ophiuchus got more irritable and the van seemed more battered. 

Thankfully for him, the new zodiacs that got on were mostly quiet and there were only three left. A girl named Hitomi nodded once, said, "I'm Hitomi, nice to meet you, no nicknames," then sat down in the very back. When Bliss's twin brother, Blaine, got on, Turtle was in the middle of a cheery introduction when she suddenly reverted to male, instantly becoming silent and withdrawn. His clothes changed too; now he was wearing a black dress shirt and pants. Hunter screamed in grief at the disappearance of his hard work, but Turtle quietly told him it would come back once he became female again. 

"Dude..." Hunter whispered to Eira, glancing subtly at Turtle, who was hardly recognizable. "Is that the same person?!" 

Eira shrugged. "Who knows? She always says she's being possessed by a spirit." 

"A spirit?" Amanda asked curiously. She tapped Turtle's arm. "Hey, are you a spirit?" 

Turtle said nothing, instead turning his face to look out the window. Amanda frowned. "Wow. That's like, a complete one-eighty." 

"Yeah, well, that's T for ya," Einar said, leaning back. "This one's more scary, but the other one's more insistent. Annoying." 

Vanira nodded in agreement. "What my brother said. Although she doesn't like me much." 

"Gee, I can't imagine why," Ariana muttered under her breath.

They all screamed when suddenly the van tripled in speed. "WHAT THE HELL?!" 

Ophiuchus's voice rang over the intercom again, but it was occasionally broken by static. "Hey, guys! Sorry about the extra speed, it would appear our last zodiac's on Earth, not in Heaven or Hell, so we've gotta increase speed in order to pass through the atmosphere! From there we should have a smooth flight. Please buckle in and above all, DO NOT OPEN DOORS OR WINDOWS if you don't want to be burned alive. Thank you!" 

The van was filled with screams and mingled curses in various languages as the van passed through the atmosphere. Then they were met with a strange calm, just like Ophiuchus predicted, as the van glided down and landed gently on a grassy plain. 

. . . 

"Uhh... so is anyone else surprised that he actually managed to land nicely for the first time?" Hunter spoke up. 

"That would make all of us," Einar grumbled, smoothing his hair down. 

The door opened and they were greeted when Ophiuchus's cheerful face-he had restored his energy. "Heya, zodiacs! We're gonna first eat at a restaurant, then find our last zodiac! My way of saying sorry, this van's kinda old. It's been used for over a thousand years, so yeah." 

Ignoring his last statement, the zodiacs all climbed out. Their legs were wobbly, except for Bliss's (who used his disk to help him walk) Turtle's (who didn't explain) and Haru's, who shyly explained that there were often earthquakes where he used to live. 

"Wah-ahhhh!" Vanira stumbled forward. Hunter quickly caught her. "You okay?" 

Vanira blinked up at him, blushed a little, then sniffed and turned away. "Fine. I don't need a demon's help to walk." 

"But you are a demon yourself..." Hunter's confused statement was left to unheard ears as Vanira strutted ahead. 

Einar looked around, eyes gleaming. "Look! So many hot girls! I wonder if I'll be able to-OUCH!" 

Ophiuchus had a hand outstretched, eyes unamused. Electricity crackled up and down his arm. "No hitting on girls, no revealing your powers, and above all stay with me!" 

"Yes, senpai..." 

"Just stay outta trouble, okay?" Zaalia said, smiling at him. He smirked. "Never, sweetheart." 

"I want to bring my owl..." Haru murmured mournfully. Hitomi hesitantly patted his back in comfort. 

"It's okay, she'll-a she, right?-will still be there," Amanda said comfortingly. "So smile, because cheeseburgers await us! Oh, wait..." She ran up ahead to ask Ophiuchus, "Are there any gelato places, or...?" 

"Where are we?" Eira asked, staring at the towering skyscrapers in fascination. 

"Someplace on the outskirts in a place called "'Canada'," Ophiuchus called. "Just bear with it for a little while. The restaurant's right there." 

Needless to say, the group of twelve made quite an appearance as they entered the restaurant. Angels and Demons were always naturally supernaturally beautiful, so the waitress almost fainted. Turtle sternly squeezed Einar's arm when he tried flirting. 

The zodiacs all ordered whatever they wanted, and thanks to magical Angel currency that was plentiful, Ophiuchus easily paid. 

"I don't get it," Ariana said, sipping from her drink. "What's the point in naming so many cities? It's just confusing." 

"Exactly why I prefer not to visit Earth," Ophiuchus said, picking at his burger. "Too bad I don't know if these foods aren't poisoned. But those fries are delicious." 

"I really want gelato..." Amanda moaned, mournfully licking at her ice cream cone. 

"Shut up, firehead, I want to enjoy my burger," Bliss said through a mouthful of burger.

"Hey, by the way, Ophi-" Ophiuchus cut Blaine off. "Ophiuchus, please, not Ophi." 

"Sorry, Ophiuchus," Blaine apologized. "Where'd you park the van, anyway?" 

". . ." 

"I'LL BE RIGHT BACK-" 

~*~

"Maaaan, I'm so full!" Hunter stretched leisurely. Einar nudged his sister when he caught her looking at his abs. 

"I love money," Hitomi said straightforwardly. "It pays for everything." 

"Thank you, thank you," Ophiuchus said mildly. He had moved the van to the restaurant's parking lot, and it was getting a lot of stares. He opened the doors. "Okay, now hop in!" 

"Food is nice," Turtle said quietly. "By the way, Miss Vanira, do you like Mr. Hunter?" 

Vanira flushed bright red and hissed, "Shut up!" And jumped into the van. 

Ariana snickered. "I think I sniff gay instead. Did anyone else catch how Ophiuchus was staring at Turtle?" 

"I'm BI!" Ophiuchus shouted beside the car, although his ears were red. 

"So? Ooooo, does the great angel have a crush?" Einar couldn't resist teasing. 

"No, I don't! Now hurry up, Universe is gonna be impatient if we take too long!" Ophiuchus was about to get into the driver's seat when he was unexpectedly yanked back. He ended up facing an old and surly-looking police officer. "Now wait a minute here, sonny, how old are you?" 

"One-" Ophiuchus paused, then said, "I'm 16." 

"You look younger," The officer huffed, and held out a hand. "I'm gonna have to check your ID." 

Ophiuchus was so not in the mood. He quickly looked around, saw there was no one there, and quickly touched the officer's arm. "Sorry, officer, but I have to report to my Master." He sent strong waves of aversion and 'this is totally normal' to the officer, and a moment later he blinked and smiled amiably. "Okay! Sorry, sonny, for bothering you, I don't know what came over me. Have a nice day!" 

Ophiuchus waved after him. "You too." He turned and saw the zodiacs staring. "What?" 

"You're one scary dude," Haru blurted out, then blushed and covered his mouth. 

"Seriously, did you just brainwash him or something?" Eira chimed in. 

"No, though I guess you could say it like that," Ophiuchus said distantly, climbing into the driver's seat. 

"He's an Empath," Amanda explained to them as soon as they were all seated. True to Ophiuchus's word, now that they were on Earth, they had to drive like normal people, which Ophiuchus did not like at all. 

"Yeah, how come none of you know anything?" Vanira chimed in. 

"Excuse you," Bliss said, annoyed again. "For your information-" 

"No more fights." And somehow miraculously the two of them fell silent at Turtle's quiet command. 

"Just a question," and Bliss and Vanira both flinched at Turtle's voice when she-or rather, he-spoke again. "What are your powers?" 

"Not yet!" Ophiuchus yelled over the intercom. "Once Universe comes."

"T, are you scaring them with a scaring ability?" Einar asked, annoyed. "That's my sister over there, you know."

A small apologetic smile was seen under Turtle's long bangs. "I'm sorry." 

A moment later they both blinked and looked noticeably more relaxed. Bliss got his phone out. "Sooo... twenty-million-peso question, are any of you guys gay? Besides Ophiuchus, of course." 

They all laughed at Ophiuchus's yelp of "I'm BI, not gay!" 

"Keep on telling yourself that," Ariana teased. "I can understand what you're feeling. Also, I'm a lesbian." 

"I'm bisexual," Turtle said quietly. 

"Straight, but bi-curious!" Hunter chirped. 

"Straight, of course," Vanira rolled her eyes. 

"Straight! Hot girls all da way!" Einar received a slap from Amanda, who had seen the uncomfortable look Eira got every time he said that. 

"I'm asexual, but attracted to both genders," Eira crossly told Einar. "So can you give it up?" 

"But-" 

The owl interrupted them, screeching as if to say, 'Can we talk about something more interesting?!' Haru blushed bright red. "Coco! That's very rude to Ophiuchus! And quite inappropriate! I thought I taught you better!" 

"What'd he say?" Ophiuchus asked curiously. 

Haru turned even redder at the attention suddenly put on him. "Oh, um..." He glanced at Turtle very quickly, then back to his owl. "N-Nothing!! Nothing!!" 

"It's okay, if you don't want to say anything you don't have to do," Zaalia said soothingly, also directing part of that to Hitomi, who smiled a little thankfully. 

"Perfect timing, folks, we're here anyway!" Ophiuchus announced. The van stuttered to a stop in front of a homely little house. "Wait for me in here." 

"While you plan your next kidnapping!" 

"Shut up!" 

~*~

Willie was having a weird day. First of all, he was pretty sure he was hallucinating strongly when he was literally walking perfectly normally back home, then suddenly the world warped, and suddenly found himself ten minutes back in time. "Aw, c'mon!" He complained. Now he would have to walk the distance all over again.

Actually, no, this couldn't count as weird-even though he'd totally freaked out in half-excitement and half-terror when it first occurred-because it happened all the time. It was so annoying because it would usually turned him back in time so he had to redo everything and apparently, he was the only one that experienced it-and saw it. Then he created a force field. And now, he was quietly doing his homework when he saw a large van pull up into their driveway. 

The van had a pretty cool paint job, except for the fact it looked like it would collapse where it stood if the engine so much as started. Then, as he watched, the driver's door opened and a kid who didn't look old enough to drive stepped out. Then the kid was coming up to their door and ringing the doorbell. 

Willie answered it. "Heya there, I'm looking for one 'Willie Aidan Mercia'," the boy said. For some reason, he was dressed in something that looked like a suit and had a freakin' tablet on his arm. "Do you know where he is?" 

"Uh... that's me," Willie said. 

The boy blinked at him. "Oh. Great. Well, congratulations, you're not coming with me because you got in trouble, but because you're not supposed to be on Earth. Can you come with me?" 

"Uh... no way in hell, man," Willie immediately said. "Look, if this is a joke, then I'm not in the mood for it. I've lived here practically all my life, why would you assume I'm-" 

The door to the van opened and a loud voice shouted, "HEY OPHIUCHUS, TELL HIM YOU'RE GAY AND MAYBE HE'LL COME ALONG!" 

"I'm BI, for the last time!" the kid-Ophiuchus?-shouted angrily back. "And keep quiet!" 

Willie's eyes brightened and his natural shipping senses kicked in. "Really? Well, that changes some things, are there any good-" 

"NO," Ophiuchus interrupted him, and Willie flinched. The kid was clearly exhausted. "Anyways, just come with me. We'll explain later, but I feel so out of it. I hate teen hormones." 

"Um... how long will I be gone?" Willie asked. "I mean, it's winter break, but..." 

Ophiuchus waved a lazy hand as he turned around. "That's already been taken care of. Now come on." 

Hesitantly, Willie cast one last look at his house, then put on a coat and slippers and hurriedly followed Ophiuchus. 

Inside the van, there were twelve other people-all a mix of skin tones, facial features, and etc. There was even a guy with an owl on his shoulder. They all looked disgruntled and wobbly. "Uh..." 

A brown-haired girl with a complicated hairdo beamed up at him. "Hello! I'm Turtle, what about you?" 

"Willie!" He replied, sitting down next to her, since she seemed nice enough. 

There was a quick round of introductions. Bliss yelled at Ophiuchus, "Oi! Is that the last one?!" 

"Yes," Ophiuchus called back. He revved the engine. "Buckle in! We need to achieve triple speed again to get out of the atmosphere." 

"WAIT OUT OF THE ATMOSPHERE-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Willie clutched onto his seat for dear life as the car zipped into the air like a rocket. (In invisible mode, of course) "WHO THE HECK DOES THAT KID THINK HE IS?!" He looked at the others, shocked that they barely even seemed deterred. "HOW COME YOU AREN'T FREAKING OUT?!" 

"You'll get used to it," they all deadpanned in unison. 

Logic was logic, after all. 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" 

"I feel bad for him," Blaine said sympathetically. 

"WHERE ARE WE GOING GJKDJSKKJDKJKJS-" 

The rest of his curses were, thankfully, drowned out by the roar of the engine as they passed through the atmosphere. 

---------------------------------------------------------

"Anddd... CUT!" 

"That's a wrap of the first scene!" 

"... HOLY CRAP EVAN WHY THE HELL IS IT SO LONG?!" 

*sighs* "I don't know, my lady, you're the one that wrote the script. Also the one that's directing. And doing the background. And-" 

"Okay, okay, I get the point, but WOWZERS. I only wanted to make it around 3,000 words! How the heck did I end up with 6,000+?!" 

"... did you literally just not hear what I just said my lady-" 

"Wow! I'm so proud of myself!" 

". . ." *sighs* "Just start writing the script for the next scene already my lady..." 

"Gotcha! Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! I tried to balance out the characters best I could. I'll try to update every Monday or more frequently, it just depends on my flow of ideas. See you in the next chapter, and I hope you had fun!" 

-awakened-angel-chan