I wonder something; do you ever have a place where you isolate yourself to write your story without being bothered or anyone finding out? And does listening with music really helps (if you ever did that is)? And mostly if gay novels are a trend at stores or booklist will you ever consider to work with a publisher and turn into a book? So many questions and blah blah. XP

~ angel_0V0_lee

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I'm back from the living dead! Expect updates for IMTA this Friday. Or my Friday at least. *cheeky smile*

Anyway.

This is an entry that was supposed to be answered last year but due to the fact that I was busy partying with relatives, I only found the time to do it now.

Thank you to angel_0v0_lee for the question. Or should I say questions? LOL. I don't mind the number of questions. Ask away. It doesn't bother me. ^_^

Anyway, let's start with question #1:

do you ever have a place where you isolate yourself to write your story without being bothered or anyone finding out?

Yes. I do have a place where I isolate myself whenever I write my stories. It is my most secret hiding place and not many people brave the premises since they will be facing a beast.

Put it simply, nobody enters my bedroom without me going apeshit crazy at them. *evil smile*

To be honest, I don't have my own room per se at the moment. I bunk with my grandparents' in their room. I know, it's sad that I have no privacy. But the Filipino race has no understanding of personal space so I don't mind.

When I write, I tend to stay inside the bedroom and enter my delusional happy place. I don't like it when people look over my shoulder, ask me what or who I'm writing about/to, and just the idea that I can't write in silence without being questioned if I'm selling my soul to a foreigner over the internet.

Oh please. I have a lot more dignity than that.

I've already sold my soul to the demon that we all call homoerotica years ago. LOL.

Anyway, I just write when nobody is around or nobody can look over my shoulder. The bedroom is the place that usually gives me some peace of mind but I do venture out into the living room for some fresh air before crawling back to the darkness called the INTERNET.

And yes, I try not to write when there is a risk of people finding out the subject of my stories.

This is because I come from a fairly conservative family. Although the third gender is not a touchy subject, my family isn't open to the idea of having a third bathroom stall meant for the LGBT community.

If - and I say IF coz God knows you guys wouldn't be reading anymore stories from me once they find out - I am due for an update but my family is around as they try to be annoying and all, I avoid writing and just postpone the update.

I don't think I'll ever be ready to come out to them coz if you think about it, how would I do that?

Hey mom and homophobic dad, I just want to tell you that your oldest daughter is a homoerotica author and is currently dominating the MPreg genre. You guys should be proud I imagine two grown men going at it like a pair of horny bunnies instead of researching and reading articles that could better my knowledge of the course I am taking.

Or ...

Mom, Dad. I've been writing stories about two men falling in love and making babies all over their house as a hobby for the past year. I know you wanted me to enroll myself for online courses, but I just love imagining a guy's *bleep* entering another man's *bleep*. If you want, you can check out my work here on Wattpad. Most of my books have reached over 100,000 views.

If I said anything close to that, my laptop would have been destroyed in a heartbeat.

If you're wondering if there were any close calls, then yes. As a matter of fact, my sister found out I write stories like this. But she was also the one who discovered my love for yaoi despite me hiding it for close to 3 years.

She didn't care and she didn't spill the beans. So, for now, my secret is in good hands.

Just to be clear, she doesn't like slash romance so she isn't much help when it comes to brainstorming and she mocks my passion for gay love. Like, WTF?! Some little sister she is, huh.

Anywho, let's move on to the next question.

Question #2:

And does listening with music really helps (if you ever did that is)?

Flat-out NO.

I'm the type of person that works best in silence. When I have exams, I study where I'm most definitely not going to be disturbed in. When I write, I try to avoid all human contact.

Music is a distraction for me.

For most people, they can work with music playing in the background. However, I don't possess that kind of concentration. The words that you see on the chapters are words that are formed inside my head as I talk to myself, either out loud or within my psyche.

Whenever there is music, my brain goes into dissecting mode and I concentrate on the lyrics of the words which breaks my concentration in writing. I mean, how can I write knowing half my brain is trying to figure out if Nicki Minaj's Anaconda is a snake or not. Right?

So that's why I avoid music as much as possible.

Classical pieces are good for relaxation and shouldn't be used when I'm writing. Especially Chopin. I turn to jelly whenever I listen to his pieces so yeah, any type of music is a no-no.

It has to be complete silence.

And now, we come to our last question.

Question #3:

And mostly if gay novels are a trend at stores or booklist will you ever consider to work with a publisher and turn into a book?

I said it on my profile before and I'll say it again: I am not aiming to be a professional writer.

I believe that the people who truly have the passion for literature should be the one writing their hearts out and not me. And I have 3 reasons for that.

First: Writing is just a hobby for me.

Most of you know that I rant when people demand chapters or updates from me and some of you don't understand why I don't appreciate the intense passion you guys have for my stories. Let me explain it here.

When you say 'hobby', the first word that pops up is 'leisure' for me. And when you hear the word 'leisure', you don't immediately correlate that to ungrateful readers breathing down your neck when you miss an update or two. Sure you guys enjoy the story so much that you want to know what happens next, but pressuring me into another update won't get you anywhere.

In fact, it jams my imagination coz I have to go all business mode and stuff. The more you pressure me, the more writing ends up being more than just a hobby and I don't like that. Not. At. All.

Second: Writing homoerotica stories in my kind of environment will not end up in rainbows and unicorns.

As I said above, my family is a conservative one so putting my name or pen name and having the knowledge that at any moment my family might put two and two together is something I don't ever want to experience.

They won't kill me or disown me. We aren't that type of family. What I fear the most is letting them down with the fact that not only have I been writing stories that they think are shameful, I've been harboring a passion for stories like this.

Most of you won't understand this but it's one of the reasons getting published isn't on my to-do list.

Third: I don't believe my writing skills aren't enough to get me published

Let's say we forget the two reasons up there and imagine I'm at the point in my life where I don't answer to my parents like I do now.

I still wouldn't want to get published coz I believe my skills aren't worth the money the readers pay. I'm not saying I do a horrible job when I know most of you enjoy and admire my style. It's just that I'm not confident enough to accept I can get published.

Slash romance novels can be selling like ice cream on a scorching summer day and I still wouldn't put my work up for publishing. That's how negative I am.

My good friends try to make me feel good about the way I write but sometimes, I feel that they're just saying that. It's not that I don't trust them enough to give me solid advice. It's just me being all negative and stuff, and putting myself down when I know I can do better.

So yeah, being published is not on my to-do list.

However ...

I never said it hasn't crossed my mind. And even though I am about to eat my self-righteous words with my next paragraphs, I have to say this because it's all of you guys out there that put me up here.

Yes, I did get a deal from an up-and-coming publishing company.

At first, I refused to do it coz of the three reasons above plus the fact that I can't trust them but then, I ended up agreeing under very tight conditions. It's just a one-time deal as I am not really looking forward to getting published.

This isn't the career I see myself doing but since I have too much spare time and my parents aren't around to check on what I'm doing, I guess this is the perfect moment to see if I can survive out in the real world.

It's not about the money but more about the experience. Not much people are offered twice by a publishing company so I guess I'll just have to try it out.

If all goes well, I might either have a change of heart and shut down my account on Wattpad to concentrate on selling more books OR just enjoy the experience and move on with my life with the possibility that I might shut down this account in the future. All in all, both options still have me shutting down this account. It just deals with how long before it happens.

For more info about my publishing deal, the book I'm going to write will be a continuation from one of my oneshots called Fate's Ribbon.

[I'm so ashamed of not getting my own oneshot's title correctly. Tsk. I only edited it now. Such an embarrassment. \(>~<)/]

I haven't started it but I can assure you that the story isn't gonna be long or heavy. Just the right kind of fluff when you need it the most.

If it goes up, I'll tell you guys all about it and I'm hoping you support me.

That's about it, I guess.

If you have anymore questions, you know how to get to me.

For now, ciao~