Vent.

If you understand... I'm sorry.

🫂❤️‍🩹

...

"WHY DONT YOU GO OUTSIDE AND SOCIALIZE WITH PEOPLE! YOUR A FUCKING WASE OF SPACE. GO DO SOMETHING!" They shout.

"I was there at the family gathering... did you even see me?"

... no you didn't. Did you? Like always... I shouldn't be surprised.
As a kid, I used to hide away because of social anxiety. And now?... no one even noticed me.

*****

"You've gotten good at sneaking around the house! I didn't even hear you!"

... "I wonder why..."
Maybe I learned it over the years.

*****

The teacher asked where I was...
The teacher and students said I was not there...
But I was sitting right there. In the cold, dark, silence. My own corner that I call home.

*****

Even in a room full of people. Of my so called "friends" Or even... my "family"
I go unnoticed.

Did they even notice me?
Did they even compliment me?
Did they ever ask me a real, meaningful question?

...

None of them know the real me.
None of them tried.

Out of 20 family members... only 1 approached me to talk. But even then, still left quickly.
...

"My Family"
Sounds more of a joke.
Making me an outcast.

For if I cannot be one of them.
They shall not know me.

Without respect or love, I shall give none in return.
They didn't try. So why should I?

*****

I am not one of them.
But now I refuse to be one.
Even if I get Fomo... it's better than constantly being left out.

So to those that never noticed me.
That never noticed anything.
That ignored... what happened.

...

Fuck you.
I am not your family.
I am not your friend.
And I will never like you.

• • •

Some days I get lonely or curious...
I send them a text...

Left open ended...
Never a response back...

I try to talk to someone...
They don't even acknowledge me...

Never did.
Never will.

I'm done with them.

...

Yet it still hurts.
I've always hated the feeling of my hopes crashing down.

It seems to be a repeating cycle.

❤️‍🩹