Agad kong inagaw ang shot glass ni Rio at nilagok iyon. I shut my eyes, feeling the burn as the bitter flavor hit my tongue. It stung in my throat, sharp and unforgiving, like it was trying to remind me of something I couldn't forget.

Mas bitter ako kesa sa inumin na 'to.

"Girl, lasing ka na!" sigaw ni Rio, dahil sa napakalakas ng music sa buong bar.

"Hindi pa, isa pa!" I shouted.

My vision started to blur. My world was spinning, every turn making my head feel heavier and heavier. It was as if the weight of everything I'd been trying to forget was pressing down on me, making it harder to think straight.

"Luna eto oh, chaser." I heard Orange's voice. Kaibigan din namin ni Rionelle. He placed something in my mouth.

I felt a hard texture in my mouth. Napamulat kaagad ako nang makarinig ng tawa mula sa kanilang dalawa.

"What the fuck is this?" agad kong isinuka 'yong pinakain sa'kin ni Orange.

Tawang-tawa silang pareho.

"Gagang Orangutan!" Rionelle laughed.

"Magpapakalasing tapos hindi naman kaya!" sabat ni Orange, "Ayan kanin, para magising."

Masama ko itong tinignan, ngunit lalo lamang ako nahilo sa ginawa ko.

"Gago ka ba..." my voice slurred. I don't know if it's the alcohol's effect but I could feel the tears started to form into my eyes.

"Uy, wait lang. Pinakain lang kita ng kanin, umiyak ka na kaagad?" alalang sabi ni Orange, "Wag ka na umiyak, oh. Sa susunod sisig na lang gagawin nating chaser, ha?"

"Huy, umiiyak na nga 'yong tao!" Rionelle reprimanded.

Napahikbi ako sa kawalan. I was devastated. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ko at nag-bar. Actually, I was never allowed to go to places like this. Tumakas lang ako. I reasoned out I have a clinical duty outside the city.

I don't usually lie to my parents pero nagawa ko. What the actual fuck.

"Teh, heartbreak is normal pero ba't ka naman nag-ayang mag-bar eh finals na'tin next week?" Orange shrieked.

I was also the one who took them here. Hindi pa nga sila naniwala na pinayagan ako, but I was already outside their dorm. Doon lang sila naniwala talaga.

I was never like this. I'm more like a saint—coming from a strict and religious family. Lying was something I could never bring myself to do—it was simply not an option.

But it doesn't seem bad after all.

"Bakit, nag-re-review ka ba?" Rionelle chuckled.

Inirapan ito ni Orange, "Oo naman, gaga. Anong akala mo sa'kin, ikaw? Magbabasa ng reviewer saka mapapadpad sa Tiktok?"

"Ang tanong, may reviewer ba ako?" tawa ulit ni Rio.

My mind wandered at the dance floor. Parang may gustong humila sa akin na pumunta doon. I suddenly wanted to dance.

Muli kong ininom ang shot glass ni Rionelle na hindi niya pa ginagalaw. I couldn't even taste the bitterness of the alcohol—it was actually sweet this time.

"Pagsabihan mo nga 'to." Rionelle pointed me. Orange just rolled his eyes.

"Hayaan mo na, ako na magbabantay."

Hindi ko na sila binigyang pansin pa. I was so busy that I didn't stand up properly and ended up stumbling a bit. I just laughed it off.

I felt Orange's hand upon me. Muli akong natawa sa nakasimangot na itsura nito. I both cupped his face, as his ears reddened. I chuckled lightly.

"You're so cute, Orangutaaaan!" I beamed. Umamba akong yayakap sana ngunit agad itong umiwas.

Napanguso ako, naiiyak ulit.

"Why won't you hug me?"

Orange glared at me. Sinenyasan nito si Rio na agad naman akong inaalalayan sa kinauupuan ko. I felt her hand at the small of my back.

"Tama na girl, lasing ka na talaga." She exclaimed, ngunit umiling lamang ako sa kanya.

"Hindi pa kaya," I pouted, "I still wanna dance though."

"Teh, hindi na. Baka may tsumansing pa sa'yo doon."

Mas lalo lamang ako napahikbi sa sagot niya. It felt like she was nagging me like I'm her daughter. Mukhang nagulat yata siya sa paraan ng pag-iyak ko.

"Huy gaga, sige sumayaw ka na! Talaga naman, kapag nagkabalikan kayo ni Aries 'wag na 'wag kang tatakbo sa'min ha, naku!"

I immediately scoffed at the mention of his name.

Ano pa ang babalikan ko? Eh naka-move on na 'yong tao.

Saka kasalanan ko rin naman. Maybe I deserve this endless suffering, right?

"I wouldn't dare. Hinding-hindi ako babalik." Giit ko.

Tinaasan lamang ako ng kilay ni Orange.

"Kapag bumalik ka, FO na tayo." He looked at me seriously.

I just smirked.

"Try me."

Because I could never bring myself to return to someone who's moved on so damn quickly.

•••

Shit, late na ako!

I hurriedly went inside our campus when I realized that I was already fifteen minutes late for our Research class.

I was checking on our group chat for updates pero mukhang wala ng nagse-seen ni isa sa mga kaklase ko. Even Aerina and Douglas did not respond to my chats.

I ran my way through the campus. Wala na akong pakialam kung may mabangga man ako. I was practically panicking!

Halos mawalan ako ng hininga nang makitang naka-locked na 'yong pintuan ng classroom namin. I bit my lip as I can hear our Clinical Instructor's voice from the outside. Ayaw na ayaw pa naman n'on ang mga late comers.

"Late ka rin, Luna?"

Natigilan ako nang makita si Kier na kakarating lang din. Hindi ko maitago 'yong ngiti ko nang makita siya. Mukhang natigilan siya sa biglaang pagngiti ko.

Buti naman at hindi lang ako 'yong late sa section namin.

Hilaw akong napangiti, "Oo eh, hindi ko narinig 'yong alarm ko kanina."

Napakamot ito sa kaniyang batok.

"Same here," he chuckled, "Balita ko zero na raw kapag hindi nakaattend sa recit niya."

I just sighed. 'Yan kasi bukambibig ng CI namin sa Research last week. Kapag daw may late o hindi makasagot sa mga tanong niya during recitation, expected na zero na raw 'yong score mo.

"Yeah..." I mumbled.

Wala na rin naman ako magagawa. I'll just make a lot of effort for our future activities and quizzes. Para na rin mabawi ko 'yong naging zero ko ngayong araw.

One thing I've learned this college is that—you can't be sad over a single score or kahit anong score na mababa. Dapat matuto kang mag move on nang mabilis. Kasi makakabawi ka pa. Kagaya ng iba d'yan. Sobrang bilis makamove-on.

"So... paano 'to? We'll just stay here?"

Napatingin ako kay Kier. I sighed momentarily.

Right. Wala rin naman kaming patutunguhan nito kapag mag-aantay kami hanggang sa matapos 'yong klase. Maghihintay lang kami sa wala.

"You wanna go to a coffee shop?" he asked.

Napaisip ako. It's too early for me to go to the library. 8 am pa lang at sobrang lamig ng aircon doon. Mamayang 1pm pa 'yong next class namin kaya napakarami naming free time. Gusto ko rin kumain kasi never talaga akong kumakain ng breakfast kapag alam kong male-late ako.

Saka mukhang mabait rin naman 'tong isang 'to. Sobrang inosente kasi ng mukha. Buti nga at hindi nga ako kinulit nito nang magkasagutan kami ni Aries kahapon. He just simply respected my privacy.

"Sure," I replied.

I was also craving for some frappe kaya ako um-oo. Ayaw ko rin kumain nang mag-isa. Feeling ko kasi ang lungkot-lungkot ng buhay ko 'pag gano'n.

Sabay kaming naglakad ni Kier papalabas ng school. He was almost towering me. Ano ba'ng nilaklak nito at parang magkasing height sila ng ex ko?

I was busy fixing my hair when Kier suddenly pulled me to the side of the highway. Nagulat ako doon. He just smiled shyly.

"Sorry, it's safer here..."

Nagkapalit kami ng puwesto. He's now on the side of the road, while I'm beside him. I stopped myself from thinking about unnecessary déjà vu, the kind that always seemed to resurface at the most inconvenient moments, like a haunting reminder of things I'd rather forget. Ganitong-ganito rin kasi. Nakakainis.

Luna, hindi ito ang tamang oras para mag-reminisce.

I shrugged that thought in my mind.

Napadpad kaming dalawa sa coffee break. Matapos naming mag-order ni Kier ay naupo na kami. Pinili ko talaga 'yong dulong pwesto ng coffee shop para malayo sa aircon. Ayoko talaga kapag sobrang aga, ang lamig lalo na kapag may aircon.

"I'll order for us," Kier offered, "Anong gusto mo, Luna?"

"Carrot cake at Oreo Frappe." Walang pag-alinlangan kong sagot.

'Yon talaga 'yung favorite combo ko kapag sa coffee break ako nag-aaral. Imagine, higit sa 500 plus magagastos ko tapos 'yong score ko sa MedSurg hindi man lang umabot ng kalahati sa ginastos ko.

Agad akong naglabas ng pera at iniabot 'yon sa kaniya. Mariin ko siyang tinignan nang hindi niya ito tinanggap.

"My treat," kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi nito.

Gago ba 'to? Ang mahal-mahal kaya ng mga inorder ko. Isang slice lang ng carrot cake nasa 200 pesos na!

"No, ayoko. Kaya ko namang magbayad."

Ayaw ko kaya 'yong nililibre ako nang walang dahilan kasi kaya ko namang bayaran. Ewan ko ba. Nahihiya talaga ako kapag nililibre ako. Gusto ko kasi ako gumagastos para sa sarili ko, kasi kaya ko naman. May pera naman kasi ako. Kapag wala, edi titipid.

"Let's say, libre ko na 'to kasi sinendan mo ako ng notes sa Geriatrics."

Mas lalo lamang kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. Grabe, para lang sa ganoon? Manlilibre siya nang ganito kamahal?

"Ako na lang kaya mag-oorder ng akin," mukhang nataranta siya sa sinabi ko kasi agad na akong tumayo.

"No, really, it's fine Luna. I was just thankful because I owe you a lot. Mataas ang nakuha kong score sa Geria. Thanks to you."

Nanghingi kasi siya sakin ng notes last time sa Geria at hindi naman ako madamot. Mas okay nga nagtutulungan kami lalo na at mahirap 'tong course namin.

"Okay lang, binigyan mo rin naman ako ng outline sa Research eh."

"But still—I wanna buy you something."

Ang kulit din ng isang 'to. Akala ko ba mga small lang 'yong terrible. Ba't pati mga kapre?

"Sige, ganito na lang. Lilibre mo 'ko pero 'yong carrot cake lang. Babayaran ko pa rin 'yong frappe ko."

"All right," he just smiled, saka umorder na.

Umirap tuloy ako sa kawalan saka nilabas 'yong Ipad ko. Manonood na lang ako ng kdrama habang nag-aantay. Nakahalumbaba ako nang pinagpatuloy kong panoorin 'yong hindi ko natapos na episode kahapon.

I was so engrossed watching my kdrama when I heard a loud group of guys entering the coffee shop. Inis na inis kong sinuot ang airpods ko saka nagpatuloy sa panonood.

"Ano pre, valo mamaya?"

Tahimik kong kinagat ang labi ko sa inis. Nilakasan ko na lang ang volume ng pinapanood ko at nilapit ang mukha ko sa screen.

"—sure, but I don't think I can play in my old account anymore."

"Wala 'yon! Unrated lang, pre. Katuwaan lang."

I felt the seat in front of me moved. Napataas ang kilay ko nang makitang si Kier iyon na kababalik lang.

"The Glory?" he asked.

Tumango ako. He suddenly looked interested. Inadjust ko kaagad ang screen ko para makita rin niya 'yong pinapanood ko. Hindi na ako nagulat kung alam niya 'yong drama na 'to. It's pretty well-known rin sa lahat.

"Episode two pa lang ako," I informed.

"Haven't watched it yet, but a lot of my friends recommended this to me."

"Maganda rin kasi," I commented, "I like this kind of genre."

I suddenly heard silent whispers beside us, kaya agad akong napalingon doon.

Hindi ko napigilang manlaki ang mga mata ko.

"Luna, ikaw pala 'yan!" One of the guys greeted me. Mas lalo lamang ako namula sa hiya.

It was my guy classmates during second year! With—with my...

They just all laughed while I remained speechless. Out of all coffee shops, dito ko pa talaga sila makikita?

I could feel a piercing gaze on me, as if a strong pair of eyes were fixated on me, watching with an intense, stern expression, while smirking. Para akong naestatwa sa kinauupuan.

Nathan cleared his throat. He was the loudest of Aries' friends, "Luna, hi raw sabi ni Aries."

Th devil just chuckled beside him. I heard a lot of 'oohs' from his group.

"Tarantado," he laughed—then looked at me and smirked.

I looked away, fearing he might know what's exactly on mind right now.

"You okay, Luna?" Kier suddenly chimed in. Halos makalimutan ko na kasama ko pala ulit 'to.

"O-Oo," umiwas ako nang tingin. Hilaw akong ngumiti sa grupo nila Aries, "Wala kayong klase?"

"Wala Luna, free period namin," Joseph answered. Nakangiti ito, 'yong tipong gustong mang-asar, "Wala rin klase si Aries... baka gusto mo lang malaman."

I heard another 'oohs' from the group.

Hindi ko na napigilan at inirapan ang mga ito. Tinagalan ko talaga para makita nila lalo na ni Aries.

Tingin-tingin ka d'yan. Ganiyan ako kairita sa'yo.

"Hindi ko tinatanong."

Nagsitawanan silang lahat habang inaasar kami lalo ni Aries. Aries remained silent and watched me like a hawk. Tangina talaga.

Pinilit kong umiwas muli nang tingin para hindi ako lalong ma-intimidate. At ang baliw na 'to ramdam ko pa rin na hindi ako tinitigilan ng mga tingin!

"Nagva-valorant ka pa rin, Luna? Duo raw kayo ni Aries, oh!" si Nathan na talagang lumapit pa talaga ng pwesto sa amin.

"Naglalaro ka rin n'on, Luna?" Kier stared at me in curiousity.

Ni hindi ako makasagot dahil alam na alam kong mang-aasar naman ang mga walanghiyang 'to lalo na at sinasakyan sila ni Aries. Tawa lang at titig ang ambag ng isang 'to eh.

"O-Oo," I answered. Syempre nag-break lang kami ni Aries—hindi ng Valorant, "Pero minsan lang."

Sumulyap ako muli sa grupo nina Aries. I managed to look away when he caught me staring. Napalunok ako sa kaba.

Ba't ba hindi 'to nagsasalita?

"Wow! Didn't expect you to be. What agent are you using then?"

Parang oa naman 'tong mamangha sa'kin si Kier. Actually, naglalaro lang talaga ako ng Valorant for fun. Aries was the one who taught me how to play Valorant. He introduced me to the game and showed me his favorite strategies, along with the hobbies and interests that made up his world. Thanks to him, I got a glimpse into a whole new universe I never expected to enjoy.

We were so happy...

"Fade," Aries answered sharply, "She used that agent a lot."

Gulat akong napatingin sa kaniya. He stared at me blankly, his gaze fixed solely on me, completely ignoring everyone else around us.

"Wow, alam na alam ah!" Nathan chuckled.

Kier smiled at me, a hint of mischief in his tone, "How about you try playing with other agents, Luna?" he suggested casually. "Maybe you'd find one that fits your style better."

Kumunot ang noo ko. Bigla namang napaubo si Joseph sa gilid ko. Ganoon rin si Nathan na halos yumuko pa na nakikiubo rin.

Aries just glanced at him, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"She sticks with Fade because it fits her perfectly," he said, his voice steady. "Fade and her are pretty much the same—strategic, elusive, and always one step ahead. It's a natural match."

"But Luna has the choice to choose... she's the one who gets to decide what works best for her, right?"

I couldn't help but glance at Aries, waiting for his response. Rinig ko ang pagsinghap nina Joseph at Nathan sa tabi ko.

Aries turned to me, his gaze steady and calm.

"Maybe," he said, his smile just barely there, "But some of us stick to what we know. Fade suits her because she's calculated... and I like that."

His words hit me in a way I wasn't prepared for. It wasn't just what he said, but how he said it—like he truly understood me. My heart raced a little, and I felt a flutter in my stomach. Suddenly, it felt like the world had quieted around us, leaving just his words echoing in my mind.

•••