WILLY

We’re on the same page.

I had said it to Ruelle Espinosa twice as my way of reminding her— and maybe myself— that there was nothing between us but a physical attraction.

But now, sitting across the table and watching her laugh at something Andrés said to her, I wasn’t sure what page I was on anymore. I felt as if somebody had taken my book and tossed it in the air so it landed open to a random page I couldn’t make sense of.

Sitting in a diner with Andrés and Ruelle because it was easier than trying to figure out what to eat at home shouldn’t have been one of the more enjoyable evenings I’d had in... a very long time. It was comfortable and fun and I liked spending time with them.

There would probably be some gossip. I’d seen a few people I knew look my way when I’d walked in, taking in the fact I was with a woman and child.

Surprisingly, I didn’t care.

Let them talk.

Ruelle managed to get Andrés to stop talking about Elton’s garage long enough to look at the menu, and I felt my chest tighten at the sight of their heads bowed over the list of offerings.

I cared about them. Both of them, which was probably only natural since we all spent so much time together. And I’d keep telling myself it didn’t mean anything more than friendship because I and Ruelle had nothing else to offer each other.

Especially a man like you.

Her words still stung, but I was managing to get a little perspective. Of course, she liked a high-class kind of guy. I’d seen the pictures of her on the internet. She might be sitting across from me in a polo shirt with a home kitchen haircut, but she’d spent a long time being Mrs. Ruelle Garcia Espinosa.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, and I realized I’d been staring at her.

“Sorry. I was thinking about what I want to eat and must have been looking in your direction when I spaced out” I lied.

We ended up all ordering cheeseburgers, although I ordered bacon on mine and then Andrés wanted to add bacon, too. I grinned at the boy when Ruelle sighed in exasperation.

I liked this Ruelle Espinosa. She’d not only survived losing the Mrs. Garcia part of her name, but she’d bounced back from a blow that probably would have devastated a lot of the women she’d called friends back then. She was funny and kind and a great mother.

Yeah, I definitely liked this Ruelle.

A lot.

I closed my eyes. I wasn’t going there.

“Do you have a headache, Willy?”

Andrés’ voice distracted me from the path my thoughts had been taking, and I was thankful.

“Nope. Just resting my eyes for a minute. Did your teacher plan anything fun for tomorrow?”

As I anticipated, Andrés took that conversational ball and ran with it. Ruelle and I only had to nod and make appreciative sounds once in a while, so I sat back and sipped my decaf. When I stretched out my legs, one came to rest against Rue’s.

I should pull away.

I knew it. But she didn’t, so I didn’t and then the moment passed. With the warmth of her calf pressed against mine, I drank my coffee and listened to Andrés talk about school until the server brought him a bucket of crayons.

With a little prodding from his mom, he turned his placemat over and started drawing on the back. Ruelle gave me a look clearly meant to convey an apology, but I only smiled. The chatter didn’t bother me at all.

I was actually disappointed when the cheeseburgers had been consumed and it was time to go home, but I didn’t have a good excuse to linger. Ruelle had already nixed dessert because it was creeping up on Andrés’ bedtime.

There was a moment, however, after she’d started the car and Andrés was buckled into his seat when I was alone with her.

“Thanks for coming to dinner with me. I would have been bored alone.”

She laughed.

“You certainly didn’t lack for conversation. And thank you for paying. You didn’t have to.”

“It was my treat, in exchange for the company.”

“Tell Rosa I hope she feels better. If you think she’s coming down with something, please tell me and I’ll try to change my shifts around. It’s hard with Christmas on Thursday, but I’ll figure something out.”

“I think it was just a headache, but if she can’t take Andrés after school, I’ll be at the house. I’m just doing busy work at Elton’s right now, anyway.”

She sighed, but I knew she didn’t have a lot of options.

“Thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“I should get him home to bed. One more school day to get through.”

“Good night, Ruelle.”

She was pulling out of the parking lot when I started my truck, and I let it idle for a few minutes to warm up. I felt better now that we’d put some of the awkwardness behind us, and I promised myself I wasn’t going to screw it up again by letting my body overrule my common sense.

I just had to resist wanting her until the feeling faded.

My resistance lasted less than twenty-four hours. When Ruelle got home from work the following night, Andrés pleaded to stay with his Grandma Rosa. There was a Christmas special that my mother watched every year, and she couldn’t believe the boy had never seen it.

Since he didn’t have school on Christmas Eve, they argued it wouldn’t hurt him to stay up a little late.
Once Ruelle had caved and gone across the street, leaving her son to cuddle up on the couch, I realized she had ninety minutes of kid-free time.

“Rue mentioned doing some baking,” I said to my mother. “I never replaced that bag of sugar. I should go do that.”

“I’m sure if she needs some, she’ll come over, cariño.”

“I don’t want to put her out after she did me a favor, Ma.”

Realizing it would be a tough errand to justify if my mother got stubborn about it, I patted my pockets for my wallet and keys and then headed for the door.

“I won’t be long.”

It took fifteen minutes to run into a store for two bags of sugar and get back. Then I walked across the street and rang her doorbell. After peeking through the curtains to see who it was, she opened the door and let me in. She’d changed into a sweatshirt and a pair of those tight, stretchy pants, and her hair was wet.

“Wow, you showered fast.”

She smiled.

“It’s a skill you acquire quickly when you have one bathroom and a five-year-old. Is that sugar?”

“Yeah. To replace the ones I borrowed.”

“I heard your truck a few minutes ago. You didn’t go buy this just now, did you?”

“Yeah. I thought you might want to do some baking and... yeah.”

She frowned, accepting the bag from me.

“Tell me you didn’t get this at my store. It’s so expensive there.”

It would be worth it if I wasn’t still standing on her doorstep while she heated the outdoors. We were very quickly running out of things to say about the sugar and it was my only excuse for being there.

“Come in and have a brownie, at least,” she said, stepping aside to let me in. “It’s freezing out there.”

“The last time I had a brownie in your kitchen, I ended up kissing you.”

She closed the door and then leaned against it, smiling.

“I’m willing to risk it.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant by that and I hated the uncertainty. I’d enjoyed our dinner out so much, that I was afraid to make a wrong move and bring the awkwardness back.

I decided to dive right in.

“You should know it’s a high risk.”

When she pushed away from the door to set the sugars on the counter, I took a step toward her and was relieved when she moved into my arms. I bowed my head and pressed my lips to hers.

I loved kissing her. I liked the feel of her mouth and the way her hands moved under my coat to clutch my shirt. I liked the little sound she made when I slid my fingers into her hair.

“How long is that movie?” she asked a little breathlessly when I lifted my head.

“Ninety minutes. And I don’t think it starts for another ten minutes or so.”

When she gave me a look full of hot promise, I laced my fingers through hers and let her lead me up the stairs.

***

RUE

I had expected Willy to throw his clothes on and leave as soon as the heavy breathing was over, but he seemed content to hold me close. With my cheek resting against his naked chest, I could hear his heartbeat as it slowly returned to normal.

“The movie’s not over yet,” I said after a few minutes, “But Rosa has to be wondering why it’s taking you so long to return two bags of sugar.”

“She’s a pretty smart lady. I don’t think she’ll ask.”

He’d always been so concerned about giving his mother the wrong idea about us, I was surprised when he nestled deeper into the covers. His skin was warm and I loved the feel of his arms wrapped around me.

“Are you looking forward to going to Fernanda’s tomorrow?”

“I think it’ll be fun,” he murmured against my hair.

“The girls are such a fun age for Christmas,” I said. “Do they get to open presents while you’re there or do they have to wait for Christmas morning?”

“This will be my first Christmas with the girls, so I don’t know. I haven’t been around for the holidays since before they were born.”

I waited for him to tense up at the reminder he’d left town and why, but it didn’t come.

“They’ll get to open their gifts from Ma and me at least, though. Does Andrés open any on Christmas Eve?”

“I’m going to let him open two. One is a new set of pajamas and the other’s a game. I want to start a new tradition of playing a new board game on Christmas Eve in our jammies. That probably sounds silly.”

“No, it doesn’t. What was the old tradition?”

“Mando’s family always had a formal dinner on Christmas Eve, so the nanny would feed Andrés and put him to bed.”

Willy did tense up a little then and rolled onto his back. He didn’t let me go, though, but tucked me under his arm.

“No offense, but I’m not a big fan of Mando.”

The conviction in his voice made me smile, even though talking about my ex-husband reminded me of unhappy times.

“It wasn’t just him. We were both raised that way, so we never questioned it.”

He was quiet for so long that I wondered if he was dozing off, but then he spoke in a quiet voice.

“I know the scandal and the divorce turned your life upside down, but did it break your heart?”

It was a question I’d asked myself a lot as I started over.

“We’d been friends since childhood. Not only were our mothers friends, but our nannies were close. We were always a couple and I did love him. But maybe it wasn’t the right kind of love because I was hurt and felt betrayed but, no, I don’t know that he broke my heart.”

He reached his free hand across his body to hold my hand.

“That probably helped you move on.”

“That and having Andrés. When everything’s stripped away so the only thing that’s left is your child’s happiness, your priorities get straightened out in a hurry. In some ways, Armando doing what he did was one of the best things that could happen to me and if his parents and my former friends all showed up tomorrow and said they were sorry and want us back, I’d say no. I’m going to put on my pajamas and play a game with my son.”

His thumb stroked circles in the palm of my hand.

“I wish I could play, too, but we probably won’t be back before he goes to bed.”

The thought of Willy sitting on the floor in front of the Christmas tree with them, being a part of their new Christmas Eve tradition, made my pulse quicken.

“I’m sure he’ll want to play again on Christmas Day.”

“I also don’t wear pajamas, so that could be a problem.”

I laughed.

“That would be awkward, yes.”

Willy lifted his head to look at my clock, then dropped it back onto the pillow.

“I really should get up and get dressed.”

“Probably.”

He didn’t let go of my hand, though.

“Two more minutes.”

Trying to convince myself his reluctance to leave was more about not wanting to get dressed and go out in the cold rather than wanting to stay in bed with me, I closed my eyes.

Two minutes more of Guillermo Arriaga holding me and stroking my palm wasn’t enough, but I’d take every minute I could get.