I trudged past the store, my glove covered hands rubbing my arms in hopes of getting myself warm. A cup of coffee seemed like a perfect idea for a weather like this, I decided no sooner did a cafe come in sight. I looked both ways of the street and jogged across when there was no sign of any oncoming traffic.

Brr.

Why does it have to be so freezing cold where your ass threatens to fall off?

Boy, do I wish the golden rays and the warmth of the sun on days like these.

There's a thought that strikes me.

Just like the streets of town miss the warmth of the sun, I missed the warmth of being around a friend.

And not just any friend, mind you.

A very special one.

Park Jimin.

Alas, cruel is the reality. What one desires isn't what is received.

My heart sinks in sorrow, an ache too familiar reborn.

I slide into a seat as soon as I enter the cafe. The environment is much warmer and more welcome than the cold streets of town. I tug off my hat and take off my gloves.

I slide my hand into my pocket and pull out my phone. I am eager to check something although my mind screams it's useless, you'll only disappoint yourself. But my heart is stubborn, it never listens anyway.

I unlock my phone and slide into my chats. His chat stands empty, with not a single response from his side. I know I shouldn't be disappointed but my heart seems to sink further.

Told you so, my mind unhelpfully supplies.

Still my eyes linger on the last text I sent him.

"I miss you. Do you think we could meet up sometime soon? Ping me, yeah?"

What hurts more is knowing he has seen it but never bothered to reply.

Maybe he's busy.

It's a weak attempt to soothe myself but it's an attempt worth trying.

The waiter greets me with a smile and places a cup of hot, steaming coffee at my table. I smile at him, half-heartedly and murmur out a thanks.

Should I call him? I wonder, once the waiter leaves my table.

I could try, I think to myself as I dial his number. My heart thumps irregularly as though I'm performing some crime. The first ring goes off, then the second, followed by a third...till it goes to voicemail.

"Hey, this is Jimin! I'm probably busy right now so just leave a message and I'll get back to you asap," comes the message.

This isn't the first time though and painfully, I know it won't be the last. I let out a soft sigh and sit back to enjoy my coffee. And maybe I would have, had my gaze not landed on a table across my own, a good distance apart.

For there in all his glory sits Park Jimin. His face is lit up with a smile as he listens to another man beside him speak. His eyes linger over the male like a fan would view his celebrity.

There's laughter that fills the cafe, coming from the table Jimin is seated at. There are around seven people at the table and I must say, I am surprised.

Surprised to see him here, and also surprised to see him with a group of people. It's beautiful. A smiling Jimin is always a beautiful Jimin but it's bittersweet for me.

I nibble on my lower lip, feeling more distant than I have ever felt before.

"Hear, hear," shouts a guy from his table and they together raise their glasses.

Clink.

Cheers ring out, drowning out the voices of the rest in the cafe. Or maybe it's because I'm only focused on Jimin that I feel that way.

Who would have thought that the once shy boy I bumped into college would turn out to be so outgoing one day? As though he had not a single care in the world. I watched Jimin laugh, that beautiful laugh that once graced my ears, as he fell bodily onto the man beside him. An ugly thought reared in my head. "That should have been me."

I shook my head, ashamed, and took a sip of the coffee, almost crying in pain at how hot it was. Definitely charred a couple of my tastebuds with that sip, I was sure.

Memories seemed to flash before my eyes and the ache in my heart only got worse by the second. I am not sure why, but I scrolled back to the messages I shared with him over the past few weeks.

"I am busy."

"I am so sorry. I am tired and I can't keep awake. I'll text you on the weekend."

"I've got a couple of exams coming up this season. Gotta prepare. Will give you a call one of these days, promise?"

And then...

Nothing.

Not a single text.

Not a single "hi."

The only sign that Jimin had been there on my chat was the little "read" under my last text.

Maybe this whole thing of being busy was only meant for me.

I look back up at him. He seems so happy. It fills my heart and breaks it at the same time. How is that even possible?

The message seems clear to me.

What else could it possibly be?

I'm unwanted.

In his life, I have no need anymore.

I smile behind my cup of coffee. He seems to be doing well. So for that, I will always be glad. I wouldn't want him to accidentally see me and be forced to greet me. I wouldn't want him to feel awkward.

So I slide my hat back on and tug on my gloves. I place the bills over my table and with one last look at my friend, I take my cup and leave, back onto the streets filled with snow.

The end