Edited

Felix's POV

Mother fucking piece of shit full of assholes and butts with dicks and pussies in Lucifer's mouth.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

Being his assistant?

Bitch, what?

I looked at Lucifer with wide eyes and my mouth hanging open, still confused.

I slowly looked at Singe and Bob seeing they had the the same expression as I did, wide eyes and mouth agape.

Lucifer smirked, currently enjoying our expressions.

"Why the shocked face? Happy that you guys will be my personal assistants?"

Oh hell nah, bitch. Who the fuck do you think you fucking are?

I shook myself out of my trance and looked to Lucifer, clenching my fist as I snarled at him.

"Hold up, hold up hold up hold up, hold the fuck up." I started, all eyes turned on me, I mean except Jack's. That green haired Irish fucker had no fucking eyeballs to start with. There were just a black holes.

"You", I pointed at Lucifer with my index finger "expect us to just....be your assistant after you say that you want us to be your assistant?" I put my hand in front of me "hell no yo"

Lucifer seemed to smirk, leaning forward a little, like this was a good fucking show.

"You think you three have a choice here? I'm not asking you three to be my assistants.."

Bitch, no. Eat shit. Kill yourself.

"And what makes you think we will willingly join you? Like bitch, who the fuck do you think you are?" I spat back, my sass getting the best of me.

Lucifer looked at me and I saw annoyance flashed before his eyes "watch your language and tone, boy"

"Watch your language and your tone, boy. Bitch, you don't tell me what to do. I tell me what to do" I mocked back, making faces while doing so.

I heard stifled laughter and I looked from the corner of my eye, seeing Singe and Bob biting their lips, their cheeks puffed as they are trying their best not to laugh.

Lucifer growled as he looked at me, snarling at me like a dog.

"Who do you think you are? I am Lucifer, God of death and chaos, and I could have you hanging on my wall with just a snap of my fingers" Lucifer growled, his voice an octave lower. And to be honest, I wasn't fazed by it in the slightest, shifting my weight to one foot so my hips stuck out further while I checked my nails with boredom.

"Yeah, well, to be honest. I actually don't care who you are." I said boredly, looking at him for a split second before looking back at my nails.

I felt a presence move and before I knew it, I was slammed harshly into a wall, so I was pinned to it.

I opened my eyes to see that Jack was holding me to the wall, a small snarl on his face as he looked at me.

Of course it had to be Jack.

But like fuck it, I don't give a shit.

I headbutted Jack as hard as I could and he groaned, letting go of me as he stumbled a few steps backwards, putting a hand to where I had headbutted him, to be honest, it kind of hurt, but not as much as it would for him.

"And that's what you get when you steal my swedish meatball, you irish fucker.."

"What?! How is this possible?! You don't care if your friends are hurt?!" Lucifer stated in disbelief, Mark and the rest were quite surprised too.

"Well..I mean, I do care if Jack or any of my friends are hurt..." I looked at Lucifer and shrugged in an 'I don't care at all, bitch' kind of way "..but aren't friends supposed to be assholes to each other to be even considered best friends..?"

Jack growled as he launched at me, but I was faster, sidestepping him as I backhanded him, he stumbled and reached a hand up to his bleeding lip and the red hand mark on his face.

"And that's for shouting in my ear at 4 a.m in the morning for no fucking reason..."

Jack looked at me and I could see his hesitation, his eye flickering to his blue ones then back to black, he looked confused for a split second before he started attacking again.

Come on Felix, you can do it. Just a little bit more and Jack might snap out of the control. Who fucking knows? Maybe he actually would.

Oh, if that was a way to get out of the control, then I would have tons of fucking fun.

I ran towards Jack and cracked my knuckles before punching him across the face with all of the force I had, sending his glasses off of his face and flying to the side.

"That's for trying to hack into my youtube account when we were alive.."

Another hit to the face.

"And that's for trying to sneak the entire bottle of salt onto my food when I was taking a shit!"

I punched him and stumbled a bit from the force I put into it, Jack fell to the side with a sound of pain, landing near where his glasses were.

He slowly stood up after a while, taking his glasses along with him as he put them back on, his back facing me.

In a blink of an eye, he ran towards me and pinned me up against the wall just like before, but he pinned me with a hand wrapped around my throat, as if he were threatening to snap it even though his hold wasn't that harsh. I groaned, and looked at him, seeing that his eyes were still soulless black, I almost screamed as I figured my efforts were granted useless.

But at least I got to slap and punch the shit out of him.

I looked at his emotionless black eyes but blinked in confusion when he...winked at me?

What...?

I blinked as I looked at Jack again, making sure that I wasn't dreaming or my mind playing tricks on me.

Jack blinked, and his eyes went back to his baby blues before he blinked again, and his eyes went back to soulless black.

So he did snap out of the control, great.

I internally cheered, but snarled on the outside, putting up an act for the sake of not ruining Jack's cover.

"Now, if I were you, I would cooperate and apologize..." Lucifer said, his voice monotonous and his face emotionless.

I would but like lol, that's not how I work, bitch.

"How about... no?" I said, a sly smirk on my face.

Lucifer smirked, his hands in front of his face.

"Then I guess I'll just have to force you to cooperate..." He mumbled, and I could easily piece things together from there.

"Jack, you know what to do.."

Jack looked at me with a disappointed and unamused look, raising an eyebrow before he tightened his grip on my neck, but not too much.

I gagged though, my legs thrashing and my hands shooting up to claw at Jack's, in attempt to break free.

But c'mon guys, Jack is obviously stronger than me, even though I could land those brutal punches on him. Not breaking the fourth wall here though, I swear.

"Would you cooperate now? Or would you like to do this the hard way..?"

I looked at Jack, who motions me to just apologize and get it over with....buuuutttt I'm a stubborn asshole...so no.

"kyss min röv" I spat at him, snarling.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow, confusion written all over his face.

"I don't know what you're saying, boy, but I bet it isn't an apology.."

Jack looked at me, disappointment and unamusement becoming more obvious all over his face, confirming that I have actually crossed the line and fucked myself up.

Lucifer looked at me as he stood up from his throne, walking towards me, his steps slow and steady, as if mocking me, taunting me in every way possible. (bitch, no. Lol, he's just walking slow)

"I will give you a last chance to apologize, before I start doing something that'll make you regret this eventually..."

Wwwhhaatt if I just speak Swedish all the way? He won't know, right?

"Okej, jag är ledsen, din bit av skit" I muttered hatefully, and looked at Lucifer, who literally looked confused.

"Wh-at?! Stop staring at me, I apol-ogized!" I said, my words coming out breathy and hoarse, I raised my hands as best as I could in my defense before going back to struggling against Jack and clawing at his hand, surprised that I can even breathe enough to speak with Jack practically strangling me.

Oh wait no, he loosened his grip, okay, that's better.

"Jack, translate to me what his saying..."

Jack eyes widen, and even with the soulless black eyes going on in his eyes, I could still feel him burning holes through my brain with his eyes.

Welp.

"He's apologizing, master.." Jack replied back, his voice flat and emotionless like he was still under the control, he narrowed his eyes and glared venomous daggers at me.

It was a good thing that I taught Jack swedish in our spare time, and he got quite fluent in it too.

Lucifer hummed, now behind Jack as he out a hand on his shoulder, I could tell Jack had to refrain himself from jumping.

"Then, I suppose that you won't mind communicating with him in Swedish, would you..?"

"No, master"

"Good, now you know what you need to say to him.." Lucifer retracted his hand, putting it behind his back "...I'll be on my throne watching..''

"Yes, master"

I looked back at Jack and his eyes alone told me that he was ready to bury me six feet underground.

"Jag kommer att morda dig efter det här skiten är över" Jack snarled at me when he said that, and by the looks of his face he was being serious.

I let out a nervous laugh, gulping. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Lucifer smirking like the cunt he is.

Bitch.

"Okej, okej, jag är ledsen" I said, looking at him in the eye.

"Du är en sådan tik" Jack said, smiling a little this time.

"Ja jag vet.." I shrugged as best as I could and eyed him, warning him that I was on the verge of not being able to fucking breath, Jack raised an eyebrow, smiling. 

"What is his answer, Jack.." Lucifer suddenly said which scared the shit out of me but not Jack, apparently.

Jack smirked as he looked at me and I gulped, feeling uncomfortable.

"ta det här som min hämnd, tik" Jack whispered before replying back to Lucifer.

"He accepts your request and will cooperate, master"

Wait, what?!

My eyes widen as I looked at Jack, who was smirking.

Ohohohoho, this motherfucker right here.

Very clever.

Very clever, indeed.

Lucifer smirked and nodded. "Very well, then. You can let go of him now.."

"Yes, master"

Jack let go of me, and I slumped to the ground while I held my throat, sucking in several breaths to help with the lack of oxygen, I glared at him.

"Ät skit, du irländska knulla" I spat at him in a playful way, but sneered at him as to not cause suspicion.

"Ha, du önskar tik" Jack mouthed back at me, smirking.

I swear to all the meatball gods that this irish potato fuck is going to taste the wrath of swedish meatballs when we're done with this shit.

"You can answer him when he speaks, Jack." Lucifer voice suddenly rang out of nowhere and I yelped, clutching my chest tightly.

"helig mamma jävla skit" I breathe out, still clutching my chest as I glared at Lucifer.

Lucifer didn't acknowledge my last sentence, smirking at me "now that I have your full cooperation..." I glared at a smirking Jack before looking back at Lucifer "...is best that you keep those words, boy..." Lucifer threatened, and like previously, I wasn't, fazed by it but glared daggers at Jack, who only smirked in response.

Lucifer looked at Bob and Signe "...and the both of you too..."

Bob and Signe's eyes widen, looking at me like they had seen a ghost before looking back at Lucifer.

"Don't look at me, you can thank your little Swedish friend there..." Lucifer motioned to me and Signe furrowed her eyebrows at me.

"Bitch?" She said, and I looked at her wide eyes, flicking my eyes to Jack constantly,signalling that Jack was the one that did it, Singe furrowed her eyebrows, her eyes soon flicking to Jack's in anger.

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at me, her face confused and I looked at Jack, whose face was emotionless and empty, just like how he was when under control.

Are you fucking serious right now?

"Tik" I muttered under my breath, and Bob and Singe looked so lost right now.

I sighed, facepalming myself before dragging my hand down and then dropping it to my side.

I walked up to them as I whispered harshly to them.

"I'll explain everything later, just go with the flow right now.." They tilted their heads slightly in confusion and show me their confusion by using their eyes, but then nodded, we all looked at Lucifer.

Oh wait, that reminds me.

"What about Jesus..?" I asked, and Lucifer smirked, looking at the almost dead God behind us.

"Finally talking English I see...?" Lucifer smirked as his charcoal eyes drifted to me, tilting his head a little.

"Well, since I have no use for him, he can go back to his precious Heaven...." Lucifer smirk remain as he looked at us "...and that's your first mission, to bring him back to Heaven safe and sound..."

We looked at him, quite confused and my big mouth just had to run by itself "That's... all?'

Lucifer looked at me and quirked his eyebrow "what..? Isn't that good enough for the three of you? Or would you like to help Mark and Jack torture souls instead?"

Yeah, option A seems way better.

"No..no...we'll take Jesus back home to heaven.." Bob said and Lucifer smirked, shooing us with his hand.

"Then, of you go. That's your first mission..." His eyes glinted as he looked at us, leaning up from his throne"...and make sure you three come back. Don't try to escape because I will find you all no matter where you are... is that clear...?"

We all nodded and Lucifer raised an eyebrow at us. "I prefer if you three use your words.." He snarled, looking rather disgusted.

Bitch please, I've already been more disgusted in you ever since the beginning.

"You three will address me as sir...understand..?"

Fuck you.

"Yes... sir.." I spat those words out like they were venom, but luckily he didn't seem to notice it.

He smirked, leaning back to his throne and resting his chin on the back of his hand, a satisfied smirk made its way to his face while he waved us off, like we were fucking pesky flies "Now go..and make sure you return.."

This part was edited by @Autumn_Trash. Show him  sum lahv!

Oh and also, good luck finding the Swedish words. I actually did write the english version down but then decided to be an asshole. So have fun translating them :)