Trigger Warning: mentions of suicide.

•Alan•

It's been two weeks, almost three, since Austin and I kissed and to say I was doing okay would be a lie. I was sick. Literally. My head was aching so bad I wanted to smash something into it, my nose was stuffy and runny, my limbs ached, I couldn't eat and I was deadly cold. It could be mistaken for a horrible cold and I let myself believe that for the first couple of days.

But it was the fact that my mate wasn't with me. Apparently the kiss we shared had only heightened the need for each other, which in turn caused me to deteriorate faster. It didn't help that Austin hadn't even so much as glanced at me since that day. That didn't stop me from glancing at him though. I did every chance I got.

Austin looked as bad as I did if not worse. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked like he hadn't slept in days, he took dizzy spells, and apparently couldn't eat just like me. I was worried. But I was worried even more because he didn't show up the last two days.

I leaned against my locker and closed my eyes. Just a few brief seconds to ease the sleepiness. I had gotten maybe thirty minutes of sleep last night and that was because I was at Vic's house. Kellin had held me while Vic played guitar. They were trying their best, along with my parents and both of their parents, to make sure I was comfortable.

They all hoped I would get better that maybe there was a mistake. But I knew. There was nothing that could be done. Pretty soon I would be bed ridden and downhill from there I would plummet. Maybe the sooner the better. Even though I felt like shit the worse part was the longing in my heart for Austin. I just wanted it to be gone.

Suicide had crossed my mind believe me. It had apparently crossed the minds of everyone around me to because I wasn't aloud to be alone hardly any. Call me dramatic because I've barely know about my mate a month and it's just some stupid guy. But you wouldn't get it. Our bond is strong. I need him and he needs me, well in theory at least. Knowing I couldn't have what I needed and watching myself fall deeper and deeper everyday hurt worse than the actual fall.

I wanted it over with. I wanted out. Suicide seemed like the best option at times. I was going to die anyway why not just finish this sooner rather than later.

Stop fucking thinking like that.

I heard a voice say, demanded was more like it. The voice seemed oddly familiar too. My eyes flew open and I looked around. Kellin stared at me.
"Al are you okay?"
"Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" He said coming to stand in front of me.
"That voice. It told me to stop." I said looking at Kellin. He looked confused then his face lit up with realization.

"Austin's opened the mind link. What were you thinking about to make him do that?"
"Suicide." I mumbled.
"What?" He said softly and I looked away.
"You heard me." I said and Kellin wrapped his arms around me.
"No. No. No. Alan everything will work out I promise. Just please hold on."
"You don't know that Kellin but don't worry. I won't do anything." I said and gave him a small smile. He hugged me again and took my hand and led us to our first block.

Vic was waiting at he door. He greeted Kellin with a kiss and then hugged me. I watched as Kellin whispered something in Vic's ears and his eyes went wide. He quickly shook his head and I was pretty sure that Kellin had just told him of my previous thoughts.

"Vic don't worry. I won't do anything to harm myself." I said in a bored tone. It was more tired than bored but you catch my drift. The bell rang and Vic gave us his signature smile and ran off to his class. Kellin and I walked in and took our seats.

The day was long and Austin was still nowhere to be seen. Maybe I could try and reach him through the mind link. Once Kellin and Vic got food we headed outside and sat under a tree. I concentrated really hard but eventually gave up because nothing went through. I sighed and rested my head against Vic's shoulder.

"Take a nap Alan you need it." Vic said. I nodded slowly and cuddled up next to Kellin since he was finished eating. I dozed off and they must have thought I went to sleep.

"Vic babe what are we going to do?" Kellin  said and ran a hand through my hair.
"Keep him as happy as we can and make sure he's okay. Honestly Kells I don't know if there is much we can do." Vic sounded defeated. "I've talked to Austin. Well my fists along with Jaime, Mike, and Tony talked to him but nothing can get through his thick skull. He looks worse than Alan. Especially now." I resisted the urge to slap Vic. He had no right to harm my mate. That's why I felt Austin in pain Monday. Humph I actually thought he might have been hurt over me.

"I love Alan so much. I mean it when I say he's like our little cub. He doesn't deserve this Vic." Kellin said his voice on the verge of cracking. "And he talked so calmly about suicide. Vic baby he can't." Kellin said and I heard his soft sobs.
"We won't let him babe." I heard Vic get up and move to hold Kellin while Kellin was holding me. "Nothing will happen to him on our watch. He will be fine and Austin will see sense one way or another."

I cuddled closer into Kellin. I couldn't believe I had these two in my life. They were my everything. I was grateful they cared so much. I love them both with everything in me. Maybe things would be okay. Who knows. But Kellin and Vic did give me hope.