When the noon sun was high above our heads, I waved to the people of Lesya one last time before ducking into the train that would take me through my tour. Their cheers were deafening, and I couldn't help but smile at them. I wondered how much they were paid to scream out my name.

The train was a hassle. Flying would have been easier, but this was tradition apparently, and tradition always trumps efficiency. I mean, why else did I need to have a husband?

At least here, I can hide in a room and ignore the news.

The media already broke the immigrant story; how the new empress invited the Onus-sympathizing North Africans to live on tax-free land.

The reaction was mixed.

Humanitarians applauded it but asked why I couldn't extend the same courtesy to the lower-income citizens. They didn't know that the proposal to do the same was already in the works. By the time we get the law out they'll think it was a reaction rather than an act of prudence. And by then, they'd find something else to be dissatisfied with.

It was just...

I didn't know how many mistakes I'd already done by the time I froze in the hall of the train.

The problem with having a moral compass was the fact that no one had one identical to yours. What I deemed true north might be something someone else swore was south. But normal people had the privilege of ghosting other people they disagreed with. I couldn't ghost a whole continent.

A few hours ago, I was almost happy. Right now, all I could do was complain.

This was what I was afraid of. Aside from the usual assassination threats, I feared not being enough for my people. How could I be enough when I didn't know what I was doing? How could I lead the people when my only form of orientation was a sadistic, abusive, maniac?

"They'll arrive in a few seconds." Akim said to me, handing me the tablet I asked for.

"Only four?" I asked.

"Yes." She folded her hands together. "You will be meeting the rest tonight."

As I asked, I wanted to give them all a fair game. I owed it to them to at least give them a conversation they could remember. Maybe I'll like one of them. Maybe they can distract me enough from breaking down into a puddle of sludge after the critics start chirping for the night's news; where they greet you a good evening and continue to tell you why the evening's not good.

"Akim."

"Yes, your imperial majesty?"

"Did I make a mistake... a few hours ago?"

She pursed her lips. "I understand your choice, but whether it was the right choice or not, only time will tell."

I sighed. Most people thought it was a mistake and I was on the fence about believing them. It was so black and white to me that I didn't understand how they could think the way they did. "Speaking of choices... do you think the others have a chance?"

She smirked. "No." Akim said matter-of-factly.

"Speak freely. Why?"

"You favor Prince Konstantinos, so he's a front-runner." She said. "But you also moved legislation for Prince Akihito, something you haven't done for any of the others, and it's a very political move... and that is indicative of affection or at least professional respect since you don't like politics."

I did it out of guilt.

"And the other two?"

"I got word that you punched Theo Velez, and the night after that he ended up in the hospital... and yet you invited him here." She looked at me, knowingly. "The rest of the Privy Council is rooting for him."

I sighed. "Because he's rich."

"Because he's handsome, graceful, king-like."

You should marry him then. "Even though his mother is corrupt."

"Yes, she's corrupt, but Zabdiel Guinto's father is a dictator, and yet you still were seen in an elevator together... disheveled." I rolled my eyes. Let them think what they wanted to think, but if the press got wind of it, they'll know exactly the extent of my kindness. "So, if I were to bet, your imperial majesty, the next king of the empire will be here in..." She turned me to the door across from us. "Three... two... one..."

Ilyaas opened the door.

Those amber eyes glowed at me - he was beaming. Ever since early that morning, he'd been very happy. He was one of the few people who actually loved me for what I did at the border. I wanted to hug him and hide from my thoughts, but he was Agent Malak in the next second, not my Ilyaas.

I still wasn't sure if what I did was right. It felt good in my heart, but leaders don't think with hearts. I couldn't help but worry.

And then the boys came in behind him. Tino was first, he smirked a little at me and rubbed his eyes. He went to sleep right at about the time I did so no doubt he was exhausted. I extended an arm to him to give him the hug.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked, cursing myself. It would be so easy to love him.

"Not enough." He whispered. "I'll go take a seat while you talk to them."

"Not jealous, are we?"

"No need to be, right?" He said jealously. Tino leaned to give me a peck on the cheek before sidestepping me to take a seat staring out the window, keeping an eye on the rest of the boys as they came in, not knowing that none of them cared.

Right when Akihito stepped in, I tugged his sleeve and went back through the door he came through. "Your imperial-"

"I have something for you." I said, pulling out the tablet, sitting down on the closest seat of the car. Aki took a tentative step.

I waved the rest of the boys over to go into the other room and leave us alone. They did as I signed, but I knew they weren't obeying for long. I waited for Zabdi and Theo to walk through the doors. Zabdi was wearing all white again, eating a piece of chocolate, annoying the hell out of Theo. That made me a little happy.

"Open it."

"Me?" He asked, sinking down into his own seat. Gently, with a grace only princes like him could possess, he opened the tablet and started reading the first lines of text.

I saw his eyes widen at each word, blinking fast, and then a gasp.

"I'm giving back the land." I said.

The shock on his face was proof enough of how he probably spent a life where people promised to do some things and ended up doing the opposite. Not keeping my promise to him, I knew, would hurt me more than it would him.

"Your imperial majesty..."

"It's going to be gradual." I said. "The proposal has passed the lower house already, and I certified it so it's high priority. The land will be privately-owned so it's good... capitalism."

"I-" He swallowed, his brows furrowed in shock and confusion. "I don't know what to say-"

"We named it the Reed Yan Project. My council's going to make the name into an acronym of sorts but it's for Reed. I just wanted you to know."

It wasn't enough. I knew it wasn't enough and there would never be anything that would be enough. My bombs killed thousands of people that day. They could have been rebels or they most likely were innocents, but what mattered was they were people. I was told to bomb them... and I dropped the bombs even before getting the final order because I saw them reloading machines which I was told were tagging missiles. They were mills.

They were my people, and I rationalized killing them as my duty. I believed. I was fooled. And it cost me thousands...

I was following orders. I followed them blindly. But now that I was the one giving the orders, I just couldn't... couldn't find a reason justifiable enough to kill. It was a hypocritical thought since I was convinced, I was going to kill Zabdi yesterday but... I didn't.

"I hope it's enough-"

That's when he looked at me. His warm dark brown eyes holding an emotion I could not fathom. Aki shook his head, looking down at the words on the tablet, a small smile spreading into his features. He sighed.

"Is there something else I should put?"

"No...I-" His voice broke a little.

I looked at the words too. There weren't any grammatical errors, no wrong punctuation, no-

He stood up and faced me, bowing deeply, his head almost level with his waist. A saikeirei. I've never received one before. "Aki..."

A bow like that hasn't happened between the king of Eurasia and a Japanese royal since... Well, I couldn't even remember. Maybe Aki didn't understand what it meant. He was pledging his life-

"You have my greatest gratitude, your imperial majesty." He straightened. "Ask me of anything... I'll-"

I felt like a fish, opening and closing my mouth. I just found myself touching his shoulder and tapping upwards to get him to go upright again. "I don't need anything right now..."

I heard the doors slide open.

My eyes darted immediately to the tall and handsome prick I knew as Theo Velez. For once I was sort of glad to see him. I didn't know how to act around Aki anymore.

"Sorry to interrupt this romantic moment, but I need to speak to her imperial majesty." Theo said, pulling Aki's shoulders up from his position and gently pushing him towards the door.

I just nodded with my chin towards Aki, a silent promise to speak to him later, and then I went back to fully glaring at the icy monster.

"What do you want?" I didn't anticipate the cold shift in my voice. "Can we call cease fire for a while... I get it-"

"You're not wearing the ring." He said, a certain panic in his eyes. Theo sauntered on to my seat and swiveled it to stare into the distant sky, he was so close, his shoulder brushing mine.

We were still in the mountains, a few minutes away from Kyrgyzstan's capital where we were to spend a few hours giving speeches. I cringed away but refused to relinquish my territory.

"I lost it." I lied, knowing full well it was in Tino's possession.

"That cost me ten million." I could hear Theo's gritted teeth through his voice. My eyes were averted from him, but I forced myself to stare him down.

"I have buttons that cost more." I said, leaning closer to him, feeling him lean away, only to smile and lean closer.

"What will happen now?" He asked, his smirk... It would have been prettier on a body without his brain.

What will happen now?

And with that, I gave him a backhanded slap. "You think ten million is enough?" I spat, happy at the inches I bought. "What do you think of me? A duchess?"

He snorted. "I will be your king." The certainty in Theo's voice unnerved me. "We're in the same boat, you and I, and you'll have to realize it soon enough. The people we looked up to were not perfect and we're the only ones who have to fix it."

"That's where you're wrong. I never looked up to anybody." I tried standing but his hand around my arm was a vice.

He was right. I hated it when people like him were right. It was dangerous. One right word, one pretty face, one cruel intention, then we get the Nazis.

"I'll tell." Theo whispered, his breath tickling my ear, his face three inches from mine. I felt a tingle run down my spine, a repulsion. "About how the drone... Came from..."

My blood went cold. I knew he could see the blood drain out of my face. Mole. There was a mole.

Corrupt, blackmailing, good-for-nothing, asshole.

"Tell me, who will end up worse if you don't marry me?" There it was, in his greenish eyes, a slight film, a contact lens.

I had one of those before after I suffered from a concussion. Everything I said was being recorded so that he could replay it again later and make sure he remembered - that his brain was still functioning as expected. Ilyaas truly did a number on him to need that.

But now I was being recorded.

"Let's not go in circles, anymore, Theo." I concluded. This was not the place to speak of such things. I swallowed the venom down my throat. This was not the time. I had nothing on him.

He pressed his forehead against mine. I didn't move. I couldn't move. Then he shifted his head to the side, his lips tracing my cheekbone right to my ear. He was touching me. And I couldn't move. "Raza. That's his name, right?"

Silence. How?

"What's he looking for?" He whispered in a tone so cold it reminded me of the sharp edge of a glacier. "You got rid of the White Ravens already... So why?"

Raza wasn't the mole. So, it had to be...

Goosebumps. They were all over my skin and he could feel them. It satisfied him. My terror made him happy.

I couldn't kill his source just yet. She was so confident, wasn't she? Both of them were. But to keep Raza in line, I couldn't kill her.

"What would the country think if they found out that maybe the Ravens aren't history just yet? That you let their own people enter your country... The country they ravaged when they once ruled over it?"

Silence. I gave him silence as the windmills over the plateaus gave way to Bishkek. The window faded in its tint, leaving me open for the people of the city to see. This was protocol and I already knew it would happen, but what bad timing it was.

I wanted to wring Theo's neck but now I had an audience.

Theo pulled away and held my hand in his. He ran a hand through his hair and poised my chin towards the window just as the train slowed. Hundreds of flags waved in the air, the sound of cheering making it through the bullet-proof glass of the train.

"Smile and wave." He commanded.

In my anger, I obeyed.