The crunch of the dry leaves beneath his feet echoed through the area amidst the crisp autumn breeze. He sniffled, adjusting his black beanie and his leather jacket, strolling around the familiar place.

He settled onto a bench, surrounded by the fallen leaves of fall. This waa their place, the same place where they used to hang out. Their favourite place. The closest park to their old dorm in Nonhyeon-dong, where they used to come everyday, the area filled up with their chatter and laughter.

His gaze drifted to the clear sky, a wave of memories flooding his mind, as he heaved out a sigh- a sigh carrying a lot of unexplainable, mixed feelings. His eyes turned glassy and welled up, recalling that event.

It was maybe a three and a half months prior, a summer day, exactly this place as he remembers. That vivid memory tattooed on his mind. He could still picture how nervous she was and how she fumbled with her fingers.

"Didn't you want to tell me something earlier, Suju?" he asked her, sipping on his banana milk, as he glanced at the kids, squealing and playing around.

"Ah that...," she trailed off, looking down, not wanting to make an awkward eye contact with him.

He sighed, "Just tell me whatever it is. We share everything, remember? Best friends...!" he showed his pinky finger to her, reminding her of the promise they made years ago to share everything to each other.

She didn't respond. A quiet, deafening silence filled up the tense surrounding. This got to his nerves.

"Suju," he stared at her and called her name sternly, "Are you gonna--"

"I'm in love...," she was quick to spill it out, "I'm in love, Kook," her voice soft and gentle, almost like a whisper.

But that single sentence that escaped her lips moments ago, hit him like a speeding truck against his heart, shattering it into pieces. He felt his world breaking apart. He looked at her in disbelief, his mouth hanging open. He managed to stutter out with his croaky voice, "W-who...?"

"I can't... I can't tell you, Kookie," she looked away, sniffling. She probably knew it very well too that he would be mad at this. But she couldn't help it. "All I know is that he'll never be mine... He's in love with someone else..."

"Then why...?" his voice broke, carrying a hint of bitterness and hurt in it, "Why do you love him?"

"Because my heart belongs to him...," she looked at him this time, her hazel eyes staring at his black ones, a hint of pain lingering in them, "He's someone I can never stop loving, though I know he'll always hurt me."

Remembering that memory, he chuckled bitterly. He glanced down at the crumpled piece of paper in his hands- that paper on which he wrote the lyrics to his first song dedicated to her, ten years ago, 'Still with You'.

"Just like he's hurting you, do you even know that in the same way, you're hurting me too?" he mumbled to himself, a lone drop of tear rolling down his cheek.

"Seems like I've wasted ten years of mine by hoping for you to be mine one day... Cause that one day was never written in my fate."

It's not the truth
It's not the cure
But hating you is the only way it doesn't hurt ~

UNVEILING SECRETS: Stuck between love and war



Credits: Seong_Grace