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Bleak. Currently feeling frozen because of the unfelt cold breeze that I know shoving againts my skin making me had goose bumps and creep crawl into every inch of my flesh. I kept on rubbing my arms with my palm but it didn't help. It feels like the frigid sensation were rooting from within myself.

Sullen. It's doo dark and dusky that I don't even see where I am going or what kind of ground I am setting foot right now. It feels like I'm walking around nothingness alone. The feeling is like I was left behind by the people I used to know. But, none of them occurs in my mind right now. I'm like a blank CD, just empty and useless.

Therefore. I continue to walk ahead to nowhere and suddenly one spot light lit a little far in front me. It suddenly sprang a hope in my heart that I could finally get an answer where am I and how the hell I ended up here alone. I was confused and I really wanted to know where that light coming from and what's in that place. I run, chase and almost lost my breath but I seem not to moving away from where I am standing. Like going fast on the running treadmill with sweat drooling from my forehead down wetting my cheeks. Also my neck is full of sweat and those add up the chilly impression against my already trembling muscles.

Hope bereft like a wind blows swaying away from me, taking the dried leaves that creates crisp sound at the falls season that I know relax the senses of anyone who could hear but for me. Those invisible sounds that only plays in my head drown me into the deepest part of frustration, depression.

I sit down on the cold pavement hugging my bended knees trying to warm my self but I only feels like hugging an ice. I was there chilling and shivering alone, like a child that was left by her family accidentally and hopefully waiting for them to come back to the exact place they lost me. I bow down my head over my knees resting and I let my tears escape my eyes letting the dark surrounding filled with my soft whimpering not letting out any single word because I don't know why I am crying. I just feel lonely and missing something that I am not sure what.

I heard a sound of collapsing that force my head to held up high. An electricity liven my whole system so I stood up right away scanning my surrounding, walking and turning around trying to see what is it. Until I see spotlight shone at the right side few steps away from me. I didn't waste any second and approach then there I saw a huge size frame hanging though there's no wall beneath it.

Yet, that doesn't what made me shock but the photo in it. I saw a boy hugging the the right leg of a woman and they are both smiling. It distraught me at first but the kid seems to be familiar then another loud thud sound echoes and at my left side. Another spotlight shone and another frame was hanged there too. I glance at it and glimpse back to the right side and the frame faded slowly as the light slowly disappearing too.

I walk closer to it and I see a boy wearing black beannie, royal blue scarf arround his neck and a long brown coat. I scan the whole features of the boy and I saw him wearing a huge brown black leather shoes that he sure didn't own.

Another spotlight lit and another photo was there. I was like in a photo exhibit but the boy is me. The photo seems telling me my story. A tears escape my eyes again when I get near the photo and see myself between the happy faces of both young man and woman sitting on the couch. I am smiling too. It was Christmas maybe since I am holding a box with red glittery wrapper and the Christmas tree was standing there at the end of the couch.

I suddenly starting to feel something molding inside my chest. My heart was beating too loud and fast. My tears don't wanna stop so I let it go freely.

Another light open and there I see myself crying alone. I am wearing black suit coat and there is a man behind me crying wiping away his tears with white hanky. I almost stumble when I see the frame I am hugging. The woman I see earlier was there in the photo.

Another photo is me again, with the young man but looks mature now because of the beard growing under hi lips and chin. He has moustache too. His hair seems to grow bit long. He is handling a bottle and there was me staring at him crying. I'm a teenager maybe right then. 

Next one is me again, wearing uniform and I seem to look aloof but there is one girl beside me hugging her knees too like mine. She is glancing at me with a smile and I have a shy smile on my face.

Next is the young man, get back to his old self. No hair in his face anymore and wearing a black suit. I am standing beside him wearing a graduation gown and the girl is beside me too and wearing the same cloth as mine. We are all smiling and proudly showing the camera the certificate me and the girl handling. I smile because of it. There is happy moment too in my life. I'm sure I cherished those but why I don't remember a thing?

Next thing is me wearing a corporate  polishly iron and maybe crumpled free suit. Shaking people's hand that wearing same respectful suit as mine. The smile is in our faces. Maybe this is my career. I am maybe a plan manager in one company or maybe the CEO. I chuckle because of the thought.  

Then, the fear within me came back when I see myself lying on the bed wearing hospital gown and sleeping sound yet my face is as pale as white paper and my lips are dried. Too many transparent tubes are been connected to my forehand. Maybe I am sick or I am dead already. I guess, I am at the place where dead souls find their way to heaven or hell. The thought sends shiver down my spine. Is that the reason why I am cold and cannot remember a thing? Is this what they said people remenisce all their past before they die? Then I am not yet dead. Presumably in comatose?

The next photo made me bit anger. I was wearing a cashual clothes and a hoddie holding a bouquet of flower behind me trying to hide it. Therefore, I see her getting in a car with another guy. The woman with me at the graduation. She left or must I say cheated on me. But, there's one telling me it's better that I died knowing the truth and how she filled my head with shits. I clenched my fists out of annoyance but then, another light that lit up divert my attention.

Another photo showed up and I see myself under the misty sky looking up the star and there I see myself talking to a woman with cheeks painted with red even her nose. She's too simple but extravagantly beautiful. All my irritation was replace with a sudden tingling sensation. I touch the photo the same time it delivers unusual longing to my heart but my hand seep through it. I cannot touch it.

Next is me again. Holding hands with her under the same sky but different place. Maybe at the rooftop. She still have her rosy cheeks and sweet smile. I am looking at her with adoration, with love. She was pointing at the sky, to the one that sparkle the most. I see the happiness in our eyes. We are depending at each other. Like, if there's no you, I will be nothing. The love is around us like dancing angels sorrounds blasting blessings of joyfulness.

That is the last photo. My heart so overcome with sorrow and pain. I want to look at it more and memorize her face but the whoever let me had witnessed the photos didn't allowed me. I was devastated, I hate that whoever and I ran away; to nowhere. I don't care wherever my foot will take me. All I want to do is get out of here and find anyone who could give me some help.

Now I realized that I wasn't the one being left. I am actually the person who have left behind someone that maybe crying over for me. Without knowing if I did managed to say goodbye? Did I somehow given her the best last chance of us being together? Have I told her how much I love or care for her before I leave? Did she have a smile on her face before my tragic ending happened?

Those questions occurs in my brain unstoppably making me insane. Deranged out of grief and worriness. I'm at the depth of agony; for her and myself.

Then, one spotlight just few step in front of me lit up shone the brightest of all the light I've seen since I came here.

Hope sprout in my heart with it's throbbing hapilly fast and nervous too. I cannot look at it straight since it's luminous light hurt my eyes but I tried my best to withstand the ache.

"Wake up, please."

I heard a trembling voice of a woman. It was coated with fear and solitude. I bet she's crying. Maybe she is the woman I saw last. The one with me under the night sky filled with sparkling stars.

"Please. Fight for me. I need you! I love you! Wake up!"

I hear again the voice. It's more hysterical now though pleading. My heart ache for her. I wish I could go wherever she is and tell her I am okay though alone. I would be okay and she should be too.

"Don't do this to me! Wake up! You said you wanted to do more memories with me! Stay with me... Let me go! I need to be with him!"

She was in furious with dejection and her voice fading away. My heart suddenly flinch. It is too hurtful for me to handle like it was squeezing inside, making my every muscles tremble. I blink few times as head ache kick in and my eyesight starts to became blurry and dark. Dizziness strike in too forcing me to kneel down until slowly, and finally I lay down on the cold pavement chasing my breath trying to breath in an air that bit by bit lessen and was constrainedly taken away from me; ending my life.

Ashley, can I also became a bright star next to your Mom?

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I am emo!  Don't touch me!

I love writer Suga. His words is just full of emotions.

He is a great writer. I should quit writing lol! Hope you enjoy Suga's update! 😘

Thank your for reading! Voting and commenting!

Mister!
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