⚠ Many circumstances will happen here. I'll try my best not to cunfuse all of you my lovely readers :)

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First Love, we all have that. The first person our eyes seen the most beautiful scene. The voice our ears most soulful sound we've heard. The first laugh that tickles our sensitive senses. The first that made our hearts feels like had a 100 kilometers running dash without a pause. The first touch that sends shiver down each bone of our spine. The first person that made you feel so special with just one Hello and How are you. The first kiss that delivers you to heaven with fireworks doing wonderful sparkling display around you, feeling like your foot doesn't feel the ground. Most of all, FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES.

Yet, destiny don't always give what makes us happy because as they said, above has planned something best. First love rarely becomes last. However, what if you're me? Left your own family to be with the first man you love with the fact that your current husband knows about it. That you just wanted to be fair with him, not making him endure the pain of not loving your own husband and giving him chance to find a girl that will love him the most; unlike me.

I know, I've hurt lots of people closest to my heart; especially my children. Yet, it doesn't just my fault. I thought my husband understand, I thought he wholeheartedly accepted my leaving when he sign up the divorce paper without our children notice. I was looking forward back then to a peacefully separation, that he would let me see my children once in a while.

But, they all betray me. My first love wasn't the first guy I've love before. He change a lot. He beat me and his daughter. He force me to change my name into Claire Ford. We married and divorce after some years with revelations that the wife my former husband have was his wife. I know everything is unclear. Ashley is Robertson, she thought I am too. Everything was all planned from the very beginning. Fake documents and all. Everything is a lie.

Destiny fuck me up. What can I do? I can't go back anymore. The father of my children married a new woman, my children will never understand and take the pain. This is the prize of me being not contented about my life. And what I've learned? Teach yourself how to be contented, following your foolish heart is not always the answer. Sometimes, you have to let destiny do its work and not interfere. It put me into the right place but I go back to the wrong one.

Now, I'm alone. Keeping loads of secrets. What if my daughter knew she was adopted? What if my ex-husband show-up? What if my daughter learned that the 10 million is in hands of her father and Mr. Davids who helped us is accomplice? What if my Son find me? I have thousands of what if... All in all. I am just a bad person, a worthless mother.

"I don't need this money! I never asked for this Gab... I only want to live in peace with Ashley. Stop whatever you are doing! You had the money already! I'm not sleeping well every night! What do you want from me?"

I thrown to his face the brown envelope consist of money I didn't counted. I don't need it. I just want him to stop already.

I go back to the province without Ashley's consent. What would I tell her? That I will meet her dead father? Besides, I believe her Bosses will tell her where I am. I just need to give back this money and stay for awhile. I'm afraid Suga will see me again.

"Oh! I forgot Ashley is doing fine and can now earn good money for both of you. Anyway, how are you... My wife?" 

Gab, pick up the envelope and count the money inside and put in his pocket after. I chuckled to see how greedy he was. Money change people and so grief.

"I am not your wife. We divorce even before you act dead, Gab. Look, Ashley and I trying our best to live new life away from the past. Please... Stop pestering us! I've suffer a lot! Ashley already forgotten about you, in fact, she was all delighted when you're gone and dead!"

He run closer to me with a fast pace and what happen next was me feeling numb on the right cheek. Gab slap me very hard that my head almost got separated with my body. He did not change. He still hurt me. The Gab I love when I was teen age was long ago dead.

"It's your fault why I need to hurt my daughter! If you have chosen me from the very beggining then all these crap have never happened. Now tell me Eun Ji, whose the one that got away and be lure with that fucking MEC's fortune?" I was taken aback. Gab was in gritted teeth and eyes getting watery. Yes, it was all my fault. If I did escape with him before the arrange marriage then maybe all of this have not happened. No one is hurting. I maybe have a happy family with simple life.

"I-I'm sorry..." Was all I could answer. I know Gab is still Gab and he love me. He just need to let go of his anger and greed that I've caused him.

"I tell you one secret, Eun Ji." Gab calmly said and let out a smirk after. Looking me through the eyes.

"Was that really a secret or you just kept it until this moment?" I mock him. Gab, scrunch his noise out of annoyance.

"Our Ashley and Suga just got married. The Mec will be ours Eun Ji. You won't ever think again of going back to your old fancy living." I was in shock and covered my mouth. How will I go back to the city? The possibilities of meeting my son will be enormous. Tears escape my eyes. I can't believed my children was being played by these evil people.

"H-How dare you?" I shouted and attack him with a slap to his face but he manage to grabbed my hand. He let out a laugh and spoken.

"You better hide Eun Ji. I wonder how will your children feel when they thought they are siblings. Maybe they are having a hot moment now. Trust me... You-need-to-get-lost!"

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"Aaagghhhh!"

I screamed when I accidentally fell off the couch. Yes, couch. The evil husband just let his wife slept on the couch! How could he not be so gentleman? After what he did last night... I thought I deserve a soft cusion on my back.

I am currently massaging my hurt butt when Suga run out from his bedroom carrying a broom acting like ready to fight.

"Is their a thief? Come out! Fight me!" Suga screamed aloud and wander his sleepy eyes around the living area. He was wearing a silk cloth pyjama and the sleep eyes cover is on the forehead. It has eyes cat design. I giggles, again...  I see funny sides of him.

"No thief husband! But my ass hurt! God! I got a nightmare! I thought you're going to kiss me again and so I fell off!" I tease. Suga walk few steps forward closer to me and act like striking me with the broom.

"Help!!" I yell and force myself to stand up and run behind the couch far away from him.

"I'm gonna sue you Ash! You dare me last night! I'm gonna beat you for interrupting my sleep!" Suga run after me still holding the broom. Therefore, I accidentally trip on my own feet yet there was Suga behind me and automatically wrapped around my tummy his one arm.

My back was pressed against him. His warm skin penetrates through my skin. I was breathing heavy, not because of me almost falling off the pavement with my face first but because I can feel something poking my butt. God, is that true that boys got boner first thing in the morning?

"I really want to thank you but I guess... You need to pee?" Suga immediately let go of me and I continue to fell of because of out balance. My poor forehead meets the marble ground.

"Fuck you, Suga!" I outcry but he was not there anymore behind me. I pressed my forehead and it was bit sting. Gosh, it may bruise.

I was about to walk to the kitchen to get ice when the door bell rang. We are not expecting visitor this early but I need to see whose outside.

I walk towards the door and open it. I gape but smile after when I see who's the visitor.

"Kelli."

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The three of us were in the dining area. The siblings was seated too apart; both ends of the rectangle table. I was in the middle. All I could hear was their non-stop sighing. I sigh too out of frustration and boredome. No one dare to speak so I stood up and about to leave but Suga spoke.

"Sit down Ash. You will play a huge role here." I rolled my eyes and slam my butt back to the chair. "Okay, let's play role play in the morning!" I let out a mocking laugh yet Suga throw me his deadly glare. I roll again my eyes. As if I'm afraid of him.

"I'm sorry, Suga. I swear. You get it wrong. Taehyung and I are not close. He was just caring that time and I tried to push him away. Believe me." Kelli started to speak and apologize sincerely. I glance at Suga and I wince when I see him typing on his cellphone. After few while he pass it to me.

"Seriously?" I asked when I see his reply to Kelli. So this is my role? A messenger. I put down the phone on the table "Suga, this is a family matter. I can't be here listening to the discussion. Both of you needs time--"

"You are my wife, Ash. You're a family member. Read that to her or guide her out the apartment. You decide." Suga interrupted me with his serious face and deep tone. I sigh and pick up the phone. But the phone already block out and show password.

"You have password now?" I asked.

"I set one before the wedding. S-U-L-E-Y-" Suga spelled out the password one by one. It was short and Suley? I furrowed my head.

"It was our name combination." I choke with my own saliva. How could he be so cheesy? And in front of his sister? Really?  He voice out his thought like it was normal. I can't believe this pale guy.

I face Kelli and she smile. I guess she saw how my cheeks painted with red.
I sigh before I read the message. "I didn't saw you fight back. You hug him back. And what about the I love your sister?"

"Okay... Taehyung was have feeling for me since before. But, trust me... I never once consider. I clearly all remember the things you went through because of them." Kelli answered. Suga stretch his hand to me asking for the phone. He tap for few seconds and give it back to me. I was asking myself why do I need to do this?

"Do you love him?" I look up to Suga and he was emotionless or he was trying to hide it? I next glance to Kelli and her face soften. The usual reaction of a woman who love someone but want to deny. Kelli, shed a tear.

Suga suddenly stood up and speak.
"Guide her out the house, Ash. I don't wanna talk to her anymore." He commanded me.

Kelli stood up too and chase Suga that was going out the dining area. I did followed them but put distance, just in case something happened at least I'm there.

"What will you do if I say yes? That I love him too? Would you leave just what mom did? Would you cut-off the ties from me and forget I'm your sister! it's not only you who have suffered, I was left by mom too and now I need to keep this fucking feelings inside of me because I need to do it for you! It's not only you who need to be happy, I deserve the joy in the world too! Suga, please. I never once considered Taehyung though I was dying inside."

Suga, turn to her with his fist clenching. He was angry but there's something in him that have concern for her. I was peeking from the dining area, I want to go and leave them alone but I was afraid about Suga.

"That was incest, Kelli! Put your thoughts straight. He is your step brother! Just find another man and get married!  Look at me. I get married without love. You don't need it, survival is what important Kelli!" Suga blurted out.

I was left in awe. How the fuck he said it when he knows I'm around? So what's the kiss last night? I was not expecting it at all. I knew very well he is not capable. Besides, I somehow starting to like him...  I mean, I like him as a person, a friend. However, it hurts me to hear it from him. Moreover, it's all true. We get married without love. For our survival, for our own benefits.

My heart beats double and it was painful. I suddenly thought of the past. Well, my own father didn't love me. How come Suga? I weakly went out from my hiding place and that's when Suga finally realize I was existing.

"Ash..." Suga said in low voice.

"No, I'm fine. Just continue talking with Kelli. I hope the two of you understands each other after this." I walk away from them and planning to enter his bedroom but he chase me.

"Look, Ash. That's not what I mean." I turn to him and peek to Kelli which still standing behind. She smiled at me and wave her hand, try to walk away without saying goodbye.

"Kelli is leaving. The two of you hasn't done talking." I excuse yet Suga held my hand. Why does he not doing it to her hurt sister?

"Just stay. I need you here." I nod my head. I want his relatioship to Kelli to get back as before. Kelli was all left to him. We both walk and back to where Kelli was. Kelli sense us and stop halfway and face us again. She was smiling hapilly towards us; envy was there too. I'm not sure why.

"Ash. Suga did not mean it---"

"Get lost Kelli. If you want me back then get out that house and talk to me again. Besides, I was fond of being left. You leaving me and be with that asshole will not hurt me anymore. Just don't hope for my blessing because even that motherfucker dead... He won't received any from me." Suga rage in anger. I took few step backwards. He was scary. Wrath can be seen all over his face. Kelli, run away and the slam of the door sign that she already out the house.

"What have you done to her? You hurt your sister!" I rage.

"I'm hurt too! If you can't understand what I feel then just leave too like her! You think I want to just hurt her? I want her to realize something and leave that jerk! I'm just saving my sister!" He yell back. I pressed my fist and sigh, closing my eyes tight trying to get understand him.

"Okay. I'll stay." Suga suddenly give me tight embrace, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Thanks for not leaving me too, Ash."

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Okay, I lied. No Taelli here.

I emo now.  Don't touch me. Lol

Thank you for reading.

Mister.
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P. S

Why I'm am feeling this book reaching it's ending? Is it only me who feel that way?

And, why all my characters are all bitter with their lives? Ha ha ha!