After a rowdy dinner, where Pierce had magically produced some sort of alcohol. Ryder found herself sitting alone at the fire.

Poor Tairin was off in the dark running drills with Eva. Ryder had not been invited, which she didn't mind. They all seemed to be treating her with baby gloves since her power's misbehavior in the alley. Pierce hadn't even offered her a tin cup of his magic elixir. That she had minded.

Of course, the alcohol did what it was supposed to and loosened everyone up, which was fun, then it wasn't. Jade had marched off into the dark meadow after threatening to cut Pierce's tongue off. He too had excused himself from the fire and disappeared into the forest.

Graynin had just vanished at some point before Eva forced Tairin to his feet, insisting he needed to stretch his bad arm. And just like that she was accidently alone it would seem.

With nothing else to do, she gave into her childish instincts and grabbed a stick poking out of the fire. The tip was red hot and smoking, the once fresh wood now crystalized and glowing. As she rotated the stick, the very tip of the embers fell off and landed on her blanket just in front of her crossed legs.

"Damn," she swore, as she tossed the remainder of the stick back in the fire and tried to flick off the now smoking ember burning her blanket. "Oh, shit." She swore again, hoping off her mat to frantically shake her blanket as the smoking threatened to ignite.

"Didn't anyone teach you not to play with fire."

Ryder felt her back stiffen at the voice. She turned to watch Graynin walking into the circle. She stared dumbfounded as he casually, and graceful took a seat on Eva's blanket next to her.

"They tried" She laughed, "boy did they try." She said rolling her eyes at the fire. Still patting out her smoldering blanket, not ready to commit to sitting next to the Greek god that casually reclined very close to her.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, curious.

"Well, I burned the neighbors barn down when I eight."

"So?" He questioned, "I burned down half the school when I was young and flooded the cafeteria."

"Really?" Ryder forgetting her embarrassment looked to the person who seemed to be a walking natural disaster.

"Really." He confirmed with a crooked smile.

"Well my world isn't accustomed to children destroying property in such grand ways." She chuckled, remembering how the court mandated psychologist was pretty sure she was going to grow up to be an arsonist, or very successful on Wall Street. He made it seem like a toss-up.

"So, what happened?" Graynin pressed. As if this story was actually interesting.

She looked at the genuinely curious man, who looked almost childish, just revealing another layer to a person she had originally thought cold and one dimensional. Somehow the look on his face made her feel more at ease. Including dousing her boiling embarrassment from their encounter earlier, to a bearable simmer.

"Well, my parents practically ripped that poor shrink apart, verbally of course. Physical violence is also very frowned upon in my world. I still played with fire, but in a controlled environment, campouts and what not. My dad seeming to see that my attraction to it would not end with a simple therapy session. To me fire is like a misunderstood animal, sure it has teeth and can bite you, but that doesn't mean it's bad." She shrugged, "I guess my curiosity makes sense now." Her voice trailed off, trying to hold back the tears that pressed behind her eyes.

"Your father seems like a very wise man."

She didn't look at Graynin, she just smiled softly at the fire, "more than I ever knew. I was always doing things that others thought weird. It was hard feeling so different. There were things that I knew I couldn't tell anyone." She shook her head turning away from the fire, the memories and heartache for her parents threatening to break her down, the loneliness of her childhood weighing heavy on her.

She stole a look at Graynin, he was staring into the fire, his face set strong again, but there was still an openness about him. She missed the days when she was the listener, it was too draining to constantly be the center of discussion.

"What about you, what were your parents like?" She asked, but instantly regretted it, the openness he exuded melted away. To her surprise he still answered.

"Well, my parents weren't as loving or understanding as yours." He gave her a sidelong look. "My father was practically nonexistent, and my mother was the head mistress of the Souladeux Academy in the Capital, she was about as pragmatic and cold as they come. I actually think I received more love and compassion from my absent father than I ever did from my mother, but he stopped coming to visit when I was still a boy."

Ryder's turmoil seeming like a spoiled child's woes. She might have felt alone but at least she had her parents, and Mikaila. Graynin hadn't even had love from his own mother.

"It wasn't until Pierce entered the Academy that I knew what it was like to trust someone. His parents were negligent as well, his father especially. We bonded over that, and the fact that he was as ruthless as I was. Not many cadets start out quite as aggressive in beginning sparring classes as we did." She saw pride in his face at the memory, "he was actually the only one in our class who beat me that year."

"How old were you?"

"Traditionally boys start the academy when they are between six and eight years old, depending on when their powers start developing. But both Pierce and I were five, I think our home life triggered our development early."

"Is that not normal for Souladeux parents to be sort of cold?" she asked. "I mean aren't you all supposed to be elite warriors?"

"Yes, but there's more to it than that." He paused, as if trying to find the words. "Souladeux are a very strong breed of people, we aren't just warriors, we are capable of loving deeply, to the depths of our souls actually. When Souladeux... find," he seemed discontent to settle on the word but went on, "their true mate, the joy and love between them shadows the warrior within us, and if a child comes, well we can be very protective."

She was still in shock at how open he was being. She could tell it was difficult for him to even find the words, let alone share them. The complexity of the emotions he was showing made him look so human.

"Your parents weren't true mates?" She asked.

"No." He said flatly.

He ran his fingers through his hair, an indication of his growing frustration. She didn't want to lose this open moment though.

"Do you miss her?" Was all she could think to ask. She held her breath bracing herself for his reaction.

He froze at her words, and slowly turned his face from the fire to look into hers. His sharp cheek bones catching the firelight in a haunting way, and his grey blue eyes stared unforgivingly into hers. "Who told you?"

She attempted to stare back at him, but his intensity was too much, her eyes fell to the ground to watch her fingers pick at the burnt hole in her blanket. "No one. It's just kind of obvious. Your depth of forlorn looks like every guy in a Nicholas Sparks movie. I'm sorry she's gone. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose the person I love."

"It's like losing your soul, leaving only the shell of who you are behind." Graynin answered hollowly.

Ryder looked up at him, he was looking into the fire again.

"I'm so sorry Graynin." She fought the urge to reach out for him. She didn't know why she wanted so badly to touch him, to be held by him, feeling somehow that it would take away the pain radiating from both of them. The pain in his eyes was suddenly unbearable, it somehow hurt her to her core, but she held still, afraid of what moving might do to her.

"Thank you, Ryder." The conflict of pain still burning in his eyes, but there was something else there as well. "You are brave for talking to me like this, I know I'm not an easy person to open up to." He reached out and softly touched her hand resting in her lap. The contact shot electricity through her whole body, all her hair stood on end. This was the first time he had touched her without being in a practice session, or saving her life, this was the first time he touched her by choice. The sensation lingered in her body, even though his hand was already back on his own knee.

"Thank you, again, for saving my life last night." She whispered, still staring at her tingling hand.

"Of course. It was-"

Ryder cut him off, sudden anger flaring in her chest, "Yeah, yeah, I know it was your duty." She rolled her eyes, annoyed that the conversation had turned back to a surface one.

"That's not what I was going to say." A half smile on his face. "I was going to say it's what a friend is for. Well maybe not friends you're accustomed to but being friends for a Souladeux is about watching each other's back. We don't have many people we bestow the title of friend upon."

"So, I'm your friend now? How did I achieve that high honor?" She asked jokingly, the heat in her chest subsiding.

"Well you did stab that assassin in the back to save me, did you not?"

She remembered the sensation of how easily the knife slide into the man's skin. "I'm just sorry I froze, and you had to carry me from my room. If you hadn't had to do that we probably would have been out of the house before that ninja guy was even in the kitchen."

"You did just fine. You found your strength when it mattered. I could have been quite hurt if you hadn't intervened when you did. But actually, the truth of when I considered you my friend happened before that, it was when you allowed me to pull you from the bathroom when it was on fire."

"What? Why?" She asked, surprised.

"I know you're not aware of this yet, but your power is even stronger than mine."

Ryder laughed, but was stifled by the serious look on Graynin's face.

"Seriously Ryder. I think it's your underestimation of yourself that is the most dangerous part about you. Right now, your power is lying dormant for the most part. I'm not sure if it's the long-term effects of the Pillars of Balance, or if it's the same as when a young long-lived is coming into their power. But either way they are coming, and you need to start respecting them before they're fully manifested."

It was Ryder's turn to brush her hair back in frustration.

"But," He cut in before she could say anything. "You are subconsciously starting to trust yourself, or I would not have been able to enter the fire." A supportive smile found his lips, he took a deep breath as if letting go of something. "And you protected Tairin when those men attacked you in the alley when we were in Lavina."

"I didn't protect Tairin." She said with disappointment. "That one guy kept throwing air at him. I didn't do anything, I just stood there like an idiot."

"I didn't mean you protected him from those boy's attacks, which were pretty harmless and pathetic if you ask me. You protected him from the real power, yours. When we got to you after I felt your energy levels rise, the boys were already gone, but I could tell they were only able to walk away because they had used all their own power to throw up the strongest shield they could, and they still got hurt. But Tairin would have been a sitting duck, your power would have torn him apart."

Ryder gasped, her hand coming to her mouth. She had no idea that her outburst had been so violent.

"But he was unharmed, and that's because you were in enough control to shield him from it." Graynin let out a breath of relief, as if satisfied.

Ryder felt speechless. Her mom's perfect speech, before Graynin saved her from the men in the orchard, came swimming back into her mind. Why was she so afraid to trust herself? The answer spilled out of her, "I'm afraid of what I'm capable of doing."

The relief that had claimed Graynin's handsome face fell away. "What are you afraid of?"

"I don't know!" She yelled back at him, the tears breaking through the barrier, running freely down her cheeks. "There is just this fear in the back of my mind, a fear that's always been there, the secrets I never share with anyone. I know I could have fit in better if I wanted too. I could have pretended to be like the people around me, but when I was young I decided it was safer to keep a distance. There is just something wrong with me, I've always known it. There's a part of me hidden behind a door, a door that I have refused to open my entire life. I'm afraid of the monster that sleeps there. I'm afraid of the truth behind that door." Her face fell into her hands, she shook from the pain and relief of her own honesty.

She had never admitted this fear to herself, let alone to another person, and the anguish was overwhelming. She did not pull away when two strong arms wrapped around her crumpled form.

"The pounding on the door is getting louder, I'm afraid I won't be able to hold it closed much longer. I'm afraid of what will emerge when I have no more strength left in me to hold it at bay."

"I understand." Was all Graynin said, as he made little circles on her back, his fingers finding an awkward rhythm as if they were not sure they should be doing it. His other arm pulled her in tighter, this he seemed more comfortable with.

"What am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to be?"

There was a pause before he attempted to answer, "I wish I could answer that for you. Honestly, I do, but we cannot try and be the people that others want us to be, even if we want so badly to be that person. It sounds like you already know that though, you chose not to pretend to be like the others when you were young. We have to find ourselves, but that can only be done when we are ready to open those doors." He paused, "Or in other people's cases when we are ready to shut a door."

He allowed her to cry softly against his shoulder for a few minutes before pulling her to sit up, "Come now Ryder. You are more than capable." He gently pulled her chin up, so she had to look into his eyes. "You are not supposed to be anyone other than who you are."

She huffed sarcastically and turned away. He gently pulled her chin back, so she looked at him. "You're not." He said firmly, the soldier in him not allowing his tone to be gentle, simply honest.

What were meant to be supportive words instead caused a bloom of anger, "Then why am I here Graynin? Why have you saved my life three times, if no one expects anything from me, huh?"

For the first time she saw panic in his grey blue eyes. She knew she was asking the questions that she had silently agreed not to ask, but she didn't care. It all felt like too much, she was tired of playing games.