When I make it back to my familiar dorm after two weeks at home, I feel like I'm in an unfamiliar country. It's still the same people, but it's different. Everyone seems to have their shit together now that it's the second semester.

I don't have anything figured out. I never have.

Break was nice though. I already miss my parents and I'm craving that feeling of being with family. There's nothing better than just being able to do nothing without the stress of schoolwork. I got to sleep in, and I prioritized myself.

In those attempts for self-care, I even slept with Augustine.

After the first night, we caught up with each other about the last few months and everything that's been going on. I admitted to her that I had been seeing Delilah for a while, and she didn't seem shocked as she had said, "I always suspected she wasn't straight."

Augustine seemed different than when we were dating in high school, and I had even thought she was a changed person. Her cheeky smile convinced me that there could even be a future for us. All those romantic thoughts just because we slept together and she was pretty.

I fall so easily.

And then she dropped the news that she's actually dating someone: her roommate in France.

I asked her to clarify, hoping that she wasn't actually currently in a relationship with her. I was waiting for her to say she was in a break with her or something like that. She didn't though. And that was the second I found out that I had helped someone cheat on their partner.

I had asked her if that meant she had cheated on me when we had been dating, but she swore that she hadn't. I'm still not sure if I fully believe her, but I guess I'll never know. That conversation ended with a lot of bold revelations, one for myself too. Augustine hasn't changed at all and she's still the same bad person like before. And I probably ruined a relationship.

She told me that the relationship isn't serious and they're barely official. But those words were coming from her, a cheater. I tell myself that it's an open relationship like she mentioned, but I can't trust that. The uncertainty of the status of their relationship is never going to leave me at peace.

The worst thing is that she told me, "Same time and place next year?" When I was getting ready to leave. I just ignored her. I packed my stuff and left, leaving her behind as she considered why I was being so "dramatic" about it.

I try to focus on what's in front of me instead. As I'm settling in and packing away clothes into my closet, Nina randomly pops into my room. When she taps my shoulder, I almost jump.

She laughs at the fact that she scared me and I almost want to tell her to stop doing that, but I don't. Instead, I hug her tightly like we've been away from each other for two years rather than the simple two weeks.

Madison isn't back yet, so Nina takes advantage of her empty bed to sit back and listen to all my updates from the last two weeks. I tell her everything. Except for the events that took place with Augustine.

I know that I didn't do it on purpose, but it still feels wrong. I feel like I did something terrible, which I did, but there's no way I could have ever known.

She's excited about all the news and tells me about her own updates from the past two weeks. She tells me that she travelled through 3 countries, spending 2 days in each and having the time of her life. She had only spent Christmas at home and then left. She mentions that the drinking age in the places she visited is more reasonable than the one in the US, and that it means that she didn't have to struggle with a fake ID. She says that she's not happy to be back at school, but at least she gets to see me and Dash.

She claims her long distance relationship with Dash was one of the hardest things she's ever had to deal with. She had originally wanted to take him with her, but he had remained firm on his decision to go back to his hometown. He wanted to spend his two weeks with his moms and his younger brother.

Both Dash and Nina are very stubborn so I wonder how that conversation must of gone. It isn't any of my business though. I just know it would have been very amusing to witness. . . I might be a bit nosy.

When Madison shows up and is confused as to why Nina would ever think it's okay to touch her stuff, my best friend leaves in less than two seconds and barely says goodbye to me.

The rest of my day is spent peacefully in bed, and I'm not sure I look forward to starting a new round of classes tomorrow.

The thought of Delilah briefly comes up in my mind, and I wonder if she's still in LA. She doesn't have any reason to come back, it's not like she's in school anyways.

If there's anything that the last two weeks have taught me, it's that I don't need Delilah anymore. I never really did.

It doesn't meant that I don't want her around though.

Thanks to everyone for reading!