The next day, I'm back with Delilah in my room, just the two of us. Madison has been out of town for the last few days with her boyfriend on some trip to Canada, which has honestly made the environment more quiet. She's been a good roommate the last few months, but we all need a break sometimes. And her being away allows me to invite Delilah more often.

We never hang around at Delilah's room, which I imagine must be located in some mansion just outside of the city in that one prestigious neighborhood that so many of my classmates are from. She's implied that she lives there before, but she always says it's too far for me and that her siblings are always around. It's something I try not to ask too much about, but her situation with her family nowadays always makes me curious.

Back then, her parents were nice enough, but they never had much time for Delilah. Are they still the same now that they moved away? I doubt distance would make a difference. A busy business wouldn't magically go away even if they moved. It's one of those things that follows you around, no matter how hard you try to get rid of it. It's not like they wouldn't want their business though, as I recall how it was the only thing they ever really talked about the rare moments they were around the house when I was hanging out with Delilah. Whenever I asked them about their products, their eyes always lit up and they would talk so fast that sometimes I felt lost. They frequently gave me samples ahead of releases at no cost, and that always motivated me to keep asking even if I didn't quite understand.

That stuff about numbers and weak lawsuits always went over my head. But the clothes were always a good comfort. I couldn't exactly reject the products, sometimes my situation at home forced me to go down that road.

Delilah's set to inherit their huge business when it comes time to it, and I'm sure now that she's older, her parents are preparing her for a new life. Her two little sisters must get included in the conversation too now that they're not so little and they'll probably work for the company too. Delilah doesn't talk much about that with me, and I wonder if it's because it's a secret. There's not much about that kind of life that I would understand though.

I think the reason that Delilah and I became best friends in like two seconds was because I didn't have anything to do with that part of her life. And I was fun to be around, of course.

I should ask her about the business and how it's going. Now that we're older and dating, I should care more about this. I should try to become part of that life with her.

I ask her, "how's the clothing store going? I know last time you guys were expanding from five to ten stores."

It was four years ago, I can't imagine how far they must have expanded by now. I haven't heard much about their stores here, but that's probably because most of them must be located back home. There was always a good market over there.

She looks like she's caught in a trap in that moment, with her eyes going wide like she's nervous. It goes away in a second though. Maybe that question is too much for her to answer. She tells me, "it's all good. I can't give many details though."

It feels like she wants to tell me to shut up.

"I get that," is all I tell her. Can't she give me some kind of info?

"Maybe I'll be able to get you some releases ahead of time, if you're interested in that," she adds quickly. She's trying to smile in the best way she can as she says that.

"That's not why I asked," I tell her.

That really bothers me. Did she think that I only used her for her money? I know I just admitted to being happy about getting clothes from her parents in the past. . . But I don't know. It almost feels like an accusation.

I'm hesitant about bringing up the whole money issue with her now, but like Nina said, I'll tell her that we can stick to free events and dates. This conversation doesn't have to be a big deal. Right?

"Do you still want to be a writer?" She asks me suddenly.

"I'm surprised you remember that detail," I respond.

It's been one of my longest dreams. One day I just declared it to everyone I knew, and that was that.

She shrugs, looking down at the pink teddy bear she's been holding in her hands, and then tells me. "Is her name still Sparkle? I'm surprised you still have this."

She's trying to change the conversation. She wants this to all be under her control. I go along with it, "Yeah, I kept it."

It's one of the small things that makes this room feel closer to home, even though I'm hundreds of miles away. I got it on my 7th birthday as a gift from my parents. It was presented to me in the middle of my birthday party and I immediately fell in love with it as soon as they gave it to me. As I look at it now, I realize that I may need to wash it. But it's still pretty and pink. And Delilah's holding it, the same way she held it back then.

I think I should just bring it up.

I clear my throat, and I tell her, "I have something I want to talk to you about."

"What?"

"About our dates."

"What? You want to break up already?" She questions right away with a slightly humorous tone. She's not actually worried about that.

"No! I know I'm being silly but I just . . . maybe we should do stuff that's free? Not so many expensive restaurants? It's just that it's not always in my budget."

She looks like she wants to say something serious, but she doesn't. Instead, she switches over to that loud smile, and tells me, "yeah, I think that's good. I don't want you to waste your money. And I always leave my stuff behind."

I could brush that last part off as her being forgetful, but I'm not sure. It happens all the time now. But, she might be in Madison's situation.

Delilah always spent so much money on everything back then, and she's older now. Her parents probably realized they needed to place limits, whatever they are.

She seems uncomfortable with the silence, and taps my shoulder to bring my attention to her. She tells me, "let's plan our next date?"

Nina had mentioned this idea to me in passing the last time we were in her room, which is the one I suggest to Delilah, "double date with my friends?"

"Oh."

This time it's my turn to ask, "what?"

She shakes her head before saying, "nothing! I just didn't know— wow— I'm already going to get to meet some of your friends. That's cool! I'm excited."

She's coming out with a lot of words in the span of two seconds to try to please me. I don't know what I can do with that.

"I want to meet your friends too!" I tell her, in case she feels like I'm excluding her world from all of this. She always had so many friends back then, I can't imagine how many she must have now.

She's easy to be friends with. You just can't not stay away from her and not start a conversation. She's taking a gap year, but I imagine she's still in touch with all the people she was close friends with in whatever private fancy school she attended. I don't want her to think I'm not interested in getting to know her life from the last 4 years.

"I— I want you to meet them too. So, double date? With Nina? You've told me so many good things about her."

"Yeah, Nina and Dash. They've been dating for a little longer than we have."

"So we're the new couple."

"I wouldn't exactly call us new. We've been dating almost as long as them, it's not a competition."

"No, that's not what I meant. I was just saying that."

"Ok," is all I tell her.

I don't know what turn this conversation has taken. It started off in a promising way, but it feels uneasy. I feel like I've said something to bother her, but I don't know if I have.

She seems to notice the strangeness in the air, and says, "I can't wait for this date, Priscilla. Just sort out all the details and let me know when it's happening, ok? I'll help with whatever I can."

I nod, still feeling like I'm stuck replaying everything we said in my head. She kisses me, and slowly wraps herself in my arms. We stay like that. It's mainly silent, with the exception of our gentle actions and the noises in my head telling me to stop overthinking.