Shaera's still darkened eyes snapped open... it was night ... a different tent.... had she been kidnapped? It didn't look like Hybern... did they even have tents? They must have tents...She didn't know anymore. Her back ached... everything ached, even her face ached. Shaera could feel the newly formed scab on her lip and cheekbone. A soft groan fell from her mouth. Gods, she felt like absolute shit. Her head turned, dark eyes flickered over the interior. It was empty besides a small chest, desk, bedside table, and obviously the small bed she was laying on. How did they even have time to get that to the camp? Shaera nearly didn't see the Illyrian asleep on the chair a small way away from the bed. Azriel was slumped, hands crossed over his chest. He had stayed.... the shadow singer looked peaceful...She sat up slightly on her elbows, pain rippled along her spine, she lowered back down again. Her tongue was dry, Shaera didn't want to wake Azriel in her hunt for water,  he'd fought alongside her as well, and deserved sleep, however uncomfortable it was. Shaera's finally got herself up and swivelled her legs around to touch the floor. Grass...grass was nice. She pushed off the bed. Pain shot through her spine again, this time a hiss erupted past her lips, she quickly lowered back down. The dark-haired woman snapped her head to look at Azriel. Still asleep. Yet again, his alertness was slacking.

"I know you're making a snide mental comment about my alertness" his eyes peeled open, Shaera swore under her breath.

"What would make you think that, dear?" She spoke lowly across the tent. Azriel stood, shadows practically dancing around his form

"Believe it or not, I'm quite good at observing" 

"Oh, a spymaster like yourself, good at observing? I would never have thought..." 

"You need to rest" He was stood above her now, his wings illuminated by the moonlight filtering through the crack in the tent.

"I am perfectly fine" 

"You nearly died" 

"Well it's not the first time" she mused half-heartedly Azriel growled his hazel eyes flaring... he turned and walked over to the desk, grabbed a metal jug and glass, he poured water into it then marched back over and held the glass out 

"Bed, now" Shaera blinked, black danced with hazel, she reached out and took the water 

"Can you read my mind?" 

"No," Azriel said, she squinted her eyes at him and hummed. Shaera brought the glass to her lips and gulped down the liquid gold. There was a silence as she drank, and then the glass was empty. Shaera licked her lips 

"I have a surplus of evidence to prove otherwise" Azriel shook his head 

"Perhaps you don't realise what I can feel through the mating bond" he was closer now, his shadowed figure towered over her. Shaera flushed slightly under his intense gaze. The dark-haired woman cleared her throat. 

"You can feel my dehydration?"

"No-" he sighed "-...You're insufferable" 

"Why, Thank you" Shaera slowly leant to the left and placed the glass onto the bedside table. Silence shrouded the room. Azriel moved and sat beside her. His eyes piercing through her very soul

"What?" Shaera groaned flickering her eyes to the shadow singer

"Don't you ever move in the way again-" Black faded to violet. He turned to face her, hazel eyes flickered down to look at the ex-commander, Shaera turned her head away. The Illyrian's hand moved up and held her chin, turning her head to face him again. 

"-I will not watch you die Shaera" Shaera blinked. Her mouth opened and closed again. She was stumped... no humorous retort came to mind, no words left her lips. Azriel's breath fanned her face. Crickets chirped a small way away from the tent. Footsteps regularly passed by at all exteriors.  The wind softly swayed the walls. Shallowed breaths left her mouth, violet danced with hazel in a battle of will and wonder. Her heartbeat pounded in her ears. Azriel's hand moved from below her chin and travelled tentatively along her jaw his thumb lingering on her lips for a moment, the spymaster rested his hand on her cheek. Shaera swallowed

"What are you doing?" She whispered into his mind, knowing full well her attempt to muster spoken words would fail miserably. 

"I don't know" he replied, his voice barely matching a whisper. Her hand came up and rested gently over his. Shaera could see the flicker of unease as she took the scarred hand in her own. She lowered it down so their hands simply rested between them. 

"It's just the bond, Azriel-" Shaera spoke watching every emotion that poured from the man. The Illyrian just blinked 

"-Without it, you wouldn't feel like this" Violet eyes gazed up at the Spymaster,  Azriel's thumb drew circles on her palm. 

"You don't know everything Shaera..." his words were even, calculated, melodic. 

"I know enough" 

"You pretend to know what people think, what people believe... and what people feel" she frowned at his words.

"People are predictable, I've spent the entirety of my life having to know what a person was going to do next...-" Shaera paused and gently removed her hand from his grasp  

"-I know what comes next" silence, echoed between them,

"You can't live your life in predictions-" Azriel's gaze flickered over her face, she turned her head away

"-Shaera..." 

"It got me this far." Shaera finally heaved herself from the bed and moved towards the entrance of the tent, pulling the fabric back. The moon's glow shrouded the interior of the tent. 

"You self destruct" the violet-eyed woman frowned and turned back towards Azriel, the fabric dropped back into place, darkening the room again. 

"I protect myself!" The Illyrian scoffed a low chuckle echoed through the space 

"You're a coward-" Rage pooled in Shaera's heart, He stood from the bed. His wings once again glistening in the slither of moonlight, shadows danced around his fingertips. The Illyrian moved towards her. The crickets stopped chirping. . his hazel eyes blazed 

"-you're falling apart, inside and out, if the other night wasn't an indication of it I don't know what is!" Shaera scoffed 

"Oh, so you're perfectly fine then? Oh, great Spymaster!" 

"I don't pretend to be!" He hissed, the dark-haired woman laughed aloud 

"Oh Please! You're so full of shit, you march around, stoic, following Rhysand's every command. Tell me when you've ever pretended to be something more than a mindless soldier!" She shouted 

"Mindless! Mindless! That's rich coming from the commander of Hybern!" The violet-eyed woman snarled and stepped closer 

"Next time I'll let you take those arrows- " she paused their faces mere centimetres from one another. 

"-wait no, perhaps next time I'll be the one sending them your way!" Shaera growled and waved her hand dismissively. Azriel grabbed her wrist, towering over her, his chest heaved with rage. Her breathing mirrored his. They stared each other down, violet crashing violently with hazel. Crickets silenced. It was so quiet if you listened closely enough perhaps you'd hear the stars sing. 

"Go fuck your self" she whispered

"for once in your life-" he grabbed the back of her neck with his free hand. 

"-shut up" Azriel's lips slammed into her own. Fire rippled across Shaera's skin, she froze. A million thoughts swirled in her mind, a singular one shone above the rest. Her hand rose and rested on the base of his neck. She kissed him back. It wasn't a sweet kiss, it was rage, hate, desire... love. Azriel released her wrist and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling Shaera closer. The smell of sweat and cedar filled her senses, she tugged his hair.  Their lips danced in a fiery passion, his touch like a fire and ice swirling across her skin. The shadow singer moved his other hand to rest on her hip, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Shaera didn't need air, she need him. The Illyrian lifted her, the dark-haired woman instinctively wrapped her legs around him. Azriel was drowning in her... her touch, her smell, her lips. Every time he thought he needed to pull away for air, he was pulled back for more. All the stolen looks, all the desire, all the questions... all those doubts faded into dust. She was lowered gently onto the bed their lips battled for a moment more an elaborate spiralling of love and Lust. Shaera shifted slightly, pain shot up her spine...Azriel pulled away, his forehead rested against her own, their breaths heaved together for a minute or so. The violet-eyed woman gazed up at him, a small frown creased her brow

"You're injured"  he whispered, heat fanned her face, hazel eyes blinked, dazed. 

"I am" her breath was shallow. It felt like her heart was going to rip from her chest. Azriel moved his face away and pushed off the bed. Shaera followed and sat up, slowly... in that time she saw Azriel open the flap of the tent and descend into the shadows. He had just got up and left, they had screamed at one another, then exchanged a rather passionate kiss... then he left. Shaera felt cold without his touch, the bond twisted so elegantly so effortlessly between them digging deeper than ever, like the thorns of a rose constricting around her rational thoughts. Whether it was the battle that plagued her mind or the fire roaring through her blood. Shaera didn't sleep that night

*******************

Birds chirped merrily, more footsteps passed the rear of the tent. Sunlight flickered with the movement of the soft breeze blowing away at the flap of the tent. The dark-haired woman sighed, frowned and sat up quickly... too quickly. Her breath heaved at the agony that ripped across her back. Last night's array of movement mustn't have helped the healing process...on the note of last night... why hadn't she noticed her change of wardrobe, she had stood screaming at Azriel in a nightgown. Shaera didn't care who changed her, more so the fact they chose to dress her in this cream flowing material... though her back was bandaged it was possibly better for a looser material... but still... cream. Her skin was still largely dirty, mud was on her arms and legs... though her face felt clean. Her hair was a knotted mess... and Azriel had kissed her... Gods, she felt like a child. Light shone into the room, A man entered the tent, he was Illyrian... looked around 30 years old, his hair was a dark brown trimmed short at the sides, his eyes a deep blue. His complexion was sun-kissed, and a large scar ran across the left side of his face, from his brow to his lip. His wings took on a dark grey rather than the familiar black.

"Are you Shaera?" The ex-commander blinked and looked down at his hands, they held a basin of water, bandages and some funny looking green paste. 

"You're here to change my bandages" 

"Isn't it obvious?" He snapped... shit then... she found his name swirling in his mind

"It was a statement not a question, Leidun" she hummed the man's eyes widened as his name left her lips. He hesitated for a moment before approaching her bed

"Have you tried walking yet?" Shaera shook her head 

"Yes," Leidun nodded. Though he was young you could tell the man had been working his whole life, he gestured to her attire with calloused hands

"I need you to remove your dress and then I'll change your old bandages" Shaera nodded and raised the fabric over her head, pain tore through her shoulder, she chucked the dress away onto the end of the bed. Leidun moved closer and started unwrapping the bandage on her shoulder. Yes, she was stood in her underwear, but her care for the current situation was dull, Shaera was too busy staring into nothingness... Azriel made no sense. Why would he leave.... she was injured yes, and it's not like she was going to sleep with him. The shadow singer made no sense, and Shaera didn't like when things didn't make sense. Leidun moved on to her chest and then to the one wrapped around her lower ribs. The blue-eyed man gestured to the bed, so Shaera moved and laid down on her front. She hated getting injured, it was just a long process of bandage changes and bed rest. Shaera didn't do bed rest. Water lapped across her back. Both painful and numbing, it washed away the old blood and the new. After about five minutes a thick cold substance was gently placed on the wounds one by one until Leidun obviously felt satisfied with his work.

"Sit up," he told her, Shaera used her arms to move up and onto her knees, then with difficulty, she moved her legs over the side of the bed. The violet-eyed woman waited and watched Leidun expertly wrap the bandages around her shoulder and the two areas of her torso. The brown-haired man stepped back looked over the bandages from afar and then clasped his hands together 

"Done" Shaera stood and grabbed the loose fabric throwing it back over her head. 

"Thank you" Leidun nodded and picked up the basin and pot, he moved towards the tent flap. Shaera turned her back to the Illyrian  

"I expected you to be scarier, being the commander of Hybern and all" The dark-haired woman faltered for a moment... her mind spun with questions. A singular one left her lips. Shaera turned and faced Leidun 

"Where did you hear that?" 

"Whispers around camp, people died last night because of Hybern...." he hummed then frowned 

"-be careful... the men are angry" she blinked in confusion 

"Why tell me?"

"Your scars-" he paused, something like pity spread across Leidun's features. 

"-you're Illyrian" On those words, he turned and disappeared outside. Gods, wounds were tedious. Shaera didn't want to deal with angry; aggressive Illyrian men, especially if she was injured...the entire situation was shit. Azriel had disappeared last night, finally living up to his title as Spymaster...Rhysand, Feyre, and Morrigan had probably already returned to Velaris. Perhaps she could find Cassian. The ex-commander wouldn't typically care if someone was trying to kill her, she was more than capable of defending herself under the usual circumstances...however, with a healing shoulder, questionable ribs, and a near punctured heart, trying to hack down a 6ft tall Illyrian would be difficult ... she would do it... but the damage it would cause to her wounds would be unknown. Feyre had healed a large amount of the internal damage, but the puncture wounds from the arrows remained, so the damage was still there, and to be fair...they hurt like a bitch. Shaera moved towards the chest lifting the lid with her left arm. A single pair of black boots sat inside partnered with deep navy leather trousers and a brown shirt.  Azriel had made sure she had other clothes, clothes she liked. Gods the way he'd infected her mind, like the touch of his lips had sent a poison swirling through her bloodstream, she couldn't get the man out of her mind... yet again, she was acting like a child, there were a thousand more important things to ponder, like the army of Hybern, the brewing war, and the fact that Prythian was not ready to face it. Shaera ran her fingers through the matted mess atop of her head... the sooner she gets into a bath the better. Washing off the smell of death was a constant desire in the back of her mind. The life she lived was insane...

A warm breeze lapped against the tent walls, like waves against the shore, the smell of smoke and blood no longer lingered in the air...now replaced by the soft scent of lilies. Besides the footsteps of passing Illyrians, and the murmur of voices, there was an eerie calmness, as though a battle hadn't torn through Summer Court barely a day ago. Shaera wanted to see the destruction... there was a risk in leaving the tent yes... but she was going to see the destruction Hybern had caused. The ex-commander had only ever stayed behind to see the dust settle on one battle before, and that was the day Jorah, Kyra and Raiden died. The violet-eyed woman slowly pulled the loose brown shirt over her head then slipped on the pants and boots... Shaera plaited her curly mess which now hung over her left shoulder in a dodgy bumpy looking plait. She moved towards the tent flap and tentatively pulled it back. Sun blared into the tent. The heat sent a shiver up her spine. Green grass stretched across the ground, a large tree swayed a few metres directly parallel to where she stood, other tents circled the oak. Wings glistened in the sunlight, Illyrians spoke among each other and a few summer court soldiers were scattered here and there. There was a lack of trust amongst the men. As though the Illyrians were waiting for the Summer Court soldiers to make a move and vice versa. Shaera moved out into the space, when she thought about it she was quite surprised at the amount of movement she was able to carry out despite the near-death experience.

The sister of the High Lord travelled through the camp, Illyrian men glared, some sneered, but she kept moving with indifference. Shaera knew where the battle had taken place from the way the air turned sour to the west, like the metallic of blood hitting your tongue. The breeze swirled. Then she saw it.... they were situated on a hill, the damage clear, the entire field below... it was muddied, a dance of deep brown and curdled red. Bodies remained. Swords and armour reflected in the Summer Court sun.
Shaera winnowed closer. Her head spun, probably best not to do that again... Black boots squelched into the mud, violet eyes scanning stilled faces laying in heat. She knew none of them... yet they had been people... they had families. Enemies now laid side by side, together, neither belonging to a particular side anymore, brothers in arms facing the final journey. Death.
She moved across the field, scanning the fallen soldiers... someone had to remember them, the ex-commander had failed to remember them in combat, the least she could do is not let their image fade into the abyss.

"Even in the light you find a way to hide in the shadows" she hummed, then turned to face the Illyrian stood a few feet away in the shade of a tree located on the edge of the field. 

"Why are you down here Shaera?" Azriel questioned and moved to stand before her. Shaera'd gaze moved to stare across the horizon, empty from the onslaught and smoke. 

"Someone has to remember them" the shadow singer stood at her side, Shaera started off moving towards the horizon, where the mud wasn't marked with blood anymore and grass grew, Azriel trailed behind, she could feel his hazel eyes trying to read her, pick her apart, find something within. An emotion he could read. As Shaera reached the edge of the grass, just before it sloped down further to the disarrayed docks she stopped. The ex-commander couldn't look at him... if she did she'd have to admit it was real... what she felt last night was real. Azriel saw her, saw the woman behind the scars, behind the darkness, behind the bitterness. She hated him, the way he could look into her eyes and know the way thoughts plagued her mind or the way they just understood one another. They worked in harmony, no matter the turmoil that grew between them. He made sense. Even under the grey ceiling of Hybern, as death fanned down the back of her neck, Azriel made sense. She didn't look at him and see the enemy...

To Azriel, Shaera was an enigma. The Shadowsinger watched as her braid spiralled undone in the breeze, her face slack.
The Spymaster hated her. She was dark, violent, poison in his veins. An enemy within his home. Death dripped from her fingertips.
Azriel loved her. He shouldn't, perhaps it was simply the way dark curls framed her face. The way her violet eyes glistened like the thousand stars in the night sky of Velaris... Shaera refused to follow the opinion of a room and her touch was able to send a wave of calm rippling across his skin

That day when he pulled her into his arms, the day the attor descended for her throat. As hazel danced with black, his arm wrapped around her waist, wings cocooning her from harm. He didn't see a monster staring back at him... Even as they stood on opposing sides that day. Rage, betrayal, pain rippling between the walls in which they met. Deep down they both felt it. As their gazes met. As time stood still between them. There was no good or evil, no enemy.

Shaera's hand slipped into Azriel's. Her head resting on his shoulder

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3513
A very delayed update, 😌✌🏼
I apologise for breaking my update schedule, I've been scarily busy, but hopefully, everything will even out soon and return to normal... But until then!!!
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Edit update: just a few spelling corrections and rewordings, that is all.

Edited 15th May: Pshh, not me talking about having an update schedule 0_0

Thank you for reading! ❤️