As soon as they landed back in Velaris everyone who had ventured to The Court Of Nightmares was gathered in the living room, plus Lucien and a Cassian. The room was quite comfortable, a large fireplace sat ablaze on the back wall, and a number of chairs were placed around it. The walls were a grey stone. Shaera was slouched in an armchair her head slacked against the back. The Valerian root had tired her out... well that's what she kept telling herself...of course, it wasn't the fact she'd just drained the life from a young fae man an hour before. Mor was currently trying to unearth the elaborate plan Rhysand had woven and why Eris had to be involved. Then tension was high. Shaera turned and watched the group

"You're working with that prick!" Cassian spat, the Illyrian moved to Mor's side, a hand on her back, he shook his head and curled his lip in disgust

"You should have spiked Eris's fucking head to the front gate" Shaera chuckled 

"I quite like him" Blackness still swam on the outer rim of her irises. Mor scoffed 

"Of course you do, perhaps you should marry him after all" 

"What a fantastic idea, I'll bring it up next time I see him" the ex-commander sneered. 

"My brother is a snake" Lucien spoke up and turned to her

"Must run in the family" Shaera mused she waved her hand in dismissal. 

"Can you be quiet" Rhysand snapped at his sister, the dark haired woman raised her other hand in surrender and turned away from the group. Rude arseholes. She didn't know what Eris had done in the past, but what she saw in the man wasn't evil. He was just lost, suffocated by despicable, twisted people. And ultimately he was afraid. What Shaera has concluded about the inner circle is that they didn't take time to understand a person. They judged on the what, but not the why. But hey, No one was perfect, even those who fought for good. She zoned out on their dull chatter about the precautions taking place and whatnot. The heat of the fire warmed her to the bone, the flickering orange light offered comfort. 

"If Amarantha was alive-" Shaera sat up and turned to look at Morrigan... 

"If she were alive and I offered to work with her—even if it were to save us all — how would you feel?" Shaera's mouth went dry, the ex-commander knew, about the mountain, she'd visited a few times in those 40 years... made sure everything was well. She'd seen what Amarantha made Rhysand do. 

"If Amarantha offered us a slim shot at survival-" he stared more down his gaze unflinching, tone calm. 

"-then I would not give a shit that she made me fuck her for all those years" everyone in the room flinched, except Shaera. She just turned away and looked into the fire. 

" If Amarantha showed up at that door right now-" Rhysand snarled pointing towards the foyer entrance 

"- and said she could buy us a chance at defeating Hybern, at keeping you all alive. I would thank the fucking cauldron" Shaera's face had paled despite the heat...They wouldn't need Amarantha, Those weeks she spent sharing details about camp locations, Hybern strategies. They were the outer shell of the kingdom. If Shaera really had to she'd tell them about the intimate relationship between herself and the king ... She knew the man better than anyone on this god's forsaken earth did. 

"You don't mean that" Mor breathed staring at her cousin. 

"I do" Rhysand replied bluntly. The room was rippling with rage, Shaera's gaze flickered between her relatives. Hybern would sweep through Prythian like a plague never seen before if everyone was going to get hurt by people they had to work with...Shaera stayed silent. If she had to know Rhysand was... well Rhysand, then she could have saved him from Amarantha... the red-haired bitch had answered to her. She could've saved her brother, saved him from whoring himself off all those years.  Shaera blocked them all out, she couldn't be arsed to listen to the inner circle bicker back and forth.

***************

She just sat there picking up small details about Amren's origin here and there, apparently, the scary short woman was a 'messenger and soldier assassin for a wrathful god who ruled a young world'. That just made Shaera a whole new level of terrified when it came to Amren. Whispers started suddenly. she frowned. 

"Oh." A soft voice spoke suddenly. Shaera snapped her head towards the door. Elain. The ex-commander stood and moved past the occupants towards the young girl. Azriel grabbed her wrist. The dark haired woman stopped and frowned at the Illyrian. Feyre approached instead. Anger flared for a second before she took a step back beside Azriel. What exactly was the brunette going to do? Watch the young girl with sad eyes? That's all she seemed to do these days. 

"Do you need anything?" The High Lady asked her sister lowly 

"No. I... I was sleeping... but I heard...-" the youngest Archeron shook her head 

"-I didn't hear you" she whispered 

"But you heard something" Azriel chimed in from beside Shaera, still holding onto her wrist. Elain seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding. 

"I think I was dreaming, I think I'm always dreaming these days" she murmured more to herself 

"Let me get you some hot milk," Feyre said, placing a hand on her sister's elbow and guiding her into the living room. 

"Azriel let go" she whispered into the Illyrians mind 

"Let Feyre deal with this" Azriel replied bluntly 

"You don't understand-" She turned to look up at Azriel, he didn't even turn his head in her direction. She frowned 

"-What's the matter?" Her violet eyes blinked up at him 

" You quite like Eris?" Shaera frowned 

"He's not as bad as you all believe"

"You don't know what he did to Mor"

"No I don't, and I won't justify it in the slightest, but there I worse people to tolerate when it comes to forming alliances" The shadow singer turned his head and frowned in her direction 

"Perhaps if you're so quick to tolerate a person like that it's best you find someone more suited for yourself" he hissed through the mental link. 

"What do you mean?"

"Eris and you seem like the perfect match"Shaera didn't know why that hurt so much... 'Better suited'. She swallowed hard and turned away from the Illyrian yanking her wrist from his grip.

"It seems you're under the false pretence that you and I were a good match in the first place" she practically growled. Azriel didn't utter another word before he moved forward silently to stand next to Feyre, who was in front of Elain 

"What did you see?"He spoke

"I saw young hands wither with age, I saw a box of black stone, I saw a feather of fire land on snow and melt it.-" From the looks around the room... everyone thought Elain was mad, off her rocker 

"It was angry, it was so, so angry that something was taken, so it took something from them as punishment". Shaera moved forward and placed herself between the youngest Archeron, Feyre and Azriel. 

"Come Elain." She held her hand out to the girl, Elain blinked and frowned slightly at the ex commanders hand. The brunette took the invitation and Shaera started to guide the Archeron away, sending a quick glare to her sisters

"She's not insane! if you took time to listen to what she's saying maybe you wouldn't be spinning in circles searching for answers" Feyre's mouth opened slightly, Nesta's face hardened. Shaera knew they didn't like the fact she could get into their minds so quickly. But it wasn't hard. Even Shaera could guess that the words leaving Elain didn't mean anything. She had a suspicion about what the Cauldron did... but honestly coming out and saying 'oh I have come to the conclusion that your sister is a seer' isn't exactly something she could do without another backing her suspicions, there's a possibility they'd say she too had gone insane... maybe she was...

"Did he deserve it-?"Elain spoke quietly as they moved down the hall

"-Aeld?" The Archeron whispered the name, Shaera paused for a moment and sighed. 

"No, no he didn't" Perhaps Elain's sight reached beyond the future, the past lingered everywhere, it's highly likely she could see that too. Shaera got Elain back into bed and promised to sit on the chair beside her until the youngest Archeron fell asleep, Her mind was filled with constant thought... it was obvious the newfound flirtatious friendship with Azriel had plummeted into nothingness... They all thought Elain was insane, and Morrigan now thought she had sided with Eris when she didn't even know what happened between the two of them...
Shaera fell asleep, neck crooked against the back of the chair, arms crossed over her chest.

********************
"Why did you do it?" Green eyes peered back at her

"It was a mistake" she replied staring at Aeld's youthful face.

"THIS IS NOT A MISTAKE" He roared, his face hollowed with age before her eyes.

"I'm sorry" Shaera whispered, Aeld moved closer his face centimetres from her own

"I hope you burn" he spat, eyes blazing.

***************************
Shaera jolted awake. Elain was still asleep across from where she sat. The lilac chiffon curtains blew gently around the bed. The townhouse .... that was until Feyre decided to walk into the bedroom, her gaze settling on her sister, then she noticed Shaera sitting on the chair by the wall

"What are you doing in here?" The violet-eyed woman turned and looked up at the middle Archeron 

"Elain asked me to stay" she replied and stretched, her back crunched with the movement
"I'm taking her to see a healer" Shaera scoffed

"She doesn't need a healer," 

"You heard her last night, she's gone mad" Feyre stared down at her. The ex-commander knew the High Lady wanted a medical solution for Elain but there simply wasn't one.

"Madja can't reverse what is done. Elain isn't sick, she just needs someone to listen, to try and understand" Shaera stood from the chair and stepped towards Feyre
"We have to try" the brunette whispered. The dark haired woman shook her head and moved towards the door. 

"You don't know your sister anymore Feyre" she whispered before opening the door and exiting into the hall. The door shut with a click behind her. None of them sat with the youngest Archeron, made sure she ate and listened to her fragmented thoughts. They all just assumed she was broken...Elain was not broken.

For the next few hours, Shaera had washed and changed clothes. She now walked the streets of Velaris. The day was not the sunniest but warmth shrouded the streets none the less. How would this place change when Keir and his men are allowed in?. This was a small pocket of sanctuary from the monstrosities outside... now the monstrosities were being let in...She'd picked up a small pastry for herself and Elain from Tira, the girl was extremely happy to see the sister of the High lord. The High lord. Her violet eyes honed in on Rhysand and Cassian descending the steps. She moved toward them

"Why are you down here?" The two Illyrians shared a look

"Lucien is meeting with Elain... he's trying to figure out what's wrong..." Cassian said, his words trailing off at the end unsure of the reaction to follow. Shaera blinked then winnowed. Great, let the red-haired idiot speak to Elain... fantastic idea Feyre, absolutely brilliant! Madja found nothing wrong at all, so of course, they go to Lucien. She moved through the door and straight into the living room. Feyre and Mor were sat up a table drinking tea, a small way from where Lucien sat with Elain. Nesta was through into the dining room sat up the table across from Amren. 

"I see you're going to great lengths to diagnose Elain" She hissed towards the table where the brunette and blonde sat

"Just wait" Mor waved her hand in the direction of the violet-eyed woman 

"The bond won't be able to diagnose anything" Shaera spoke in hushed voices down to them both 

"I wish Azriel would use the bond to diagnose you" Mor retorted and turned to look up at her cousin. Shaera scoffed and leaned against the doorway. The dining table rattled, Elain swiftly set down her teacup and rose to her feet. 

"I'm sorry"  Lucien blurted out 

"What— what was that?" Elain whispered, Mor, placed a hand on Feyre's knee to keep her from standing. 

"It— it was a tug. On the bond" Lucien breathed staring up at his mate. 

"Don't you— Wicked girl" Amren hissed. Nesta appeared beside Shaera 

"What did you do" her words were sharp as a blade. Lucien turned to her 

"Nothing," he said and faced his mate again 

"I'm sorry if that unsettled you" Concern was pooled in the redhead's eyes. Elain sidled towards Nesta, who seemed to be at a low simmer 

"It felt... strange like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib" she breathed, Lucien exposed his palms to her 

"I'm sorry" the youngest Archeron stared for a long moment. Any lucidity faded away as she shook her head, blinking twice. She turned to Nesta

"Twin ravens are coming, one white and one black" what was with everyone and Ravens? The only Ravens she knew were... oh... it couldn't be... her heart sank. The older Archeron hid her devastation well. She was frustrated you could tell by the way her breathing pattern changed. 

"What can I get you, Elain?" Nesta asked tiredly 

"Sunshine-" she paused and turned towards Shaera stretching her hand out

"-Come see the garden" The dark haired woman nodded and took Elain's hand, neither of them turned back to look at the group.

Shaera spent the next two days gardening with Elain... she'd never gardened in the 526 years she'd been alive and according to Elain, it wasn't a career path she should follow in the future.

"Shaera you're going to snap the stem" 

"Well if it would just go in the pot then I wouldn't snap it" 

"You need to place it in not shove it... give me the Hydrangea" Elain took the plant from her and placed it gently in the pot, manipulating the soil around the new resident. Shaera grumbled and flopped back on the grass. Elain looked down at her 

"Maybe you should go fight those weeds" she teased and pointed towards the flower bed across the garden. Shaera nodded and pulled herself off the grass and started over to the other side. Elain had started to speak more, well more when it came to the garden. She could go on for hours about different flowers, the care they need and their meaning. Shaera liked the peonies, they stood for Nobility and Value... Elain said she was more like a Red Anemone... whatever that meant... the young Archeron didn't elaborate. The ex-commander started shovelling into the dirt tearing the weeds from the bed, also removing any large stones she found hiding beneath the earth. This was more up her street. It was quite a good way to release stress... and she found herself stressed, especially a lot more over the past couple of days when Twin Ravens were mentioned her skin had crawled, she didn't want to think about it. Shaera bested all the weeds except the beast located at the back of the flower bed... it looked like a mutated monster. Shaera climbed over the flowers and gripped the thing around the base and pulled. Fuck. She hated plants. The dark haired woman pulled until sweat started dripping down her forehead. Then it came free. Shaera was flung back off the flower bed and onto the grass flat on her arse. Violet eyes clenched shut as the sun blared on her face. A soft groan left her lips. She rolled over, gaze resting on Elain... and Azriel, when had he got there? A soft smile graced his lips as he helped the youngest Archeron garden. Elain gave him small instructions paired with soft smiles he followed them well and returned the smiles with ease, they both seemed happy.

That was possibly the first time in a long time that Shaera's heart ached. She stood from the grass and approached the pile of weeds beside Elain and threw her latest success to the top. Azriel didn't so much as look at her.  Even acknowledge she was there. 

"Thank you Shaera" the ex-commander nodded, turned and made her way to the door. Everything was going fine between them both, they were getting along, teasing one another. Perhaps he'd got to know Elain and concluded she was the woman for him and that's what also added to his reaction last night. She opened the door and walked down the hall and into the dining room. Lucien was sat up at the table reading a book. He turned his head and looked up at her...her expression. 

"Come to join the 'my mate doesn't love me back club'" he mused bitterly and gestured to the seat across from him. Shaera huffed, moved around the table plucking two glasses, and a bottle of wine off the counter and plonked herself down into the wooden chair. 

"Seeing at my mate is getting cosy with yours, I think we're at least allowed to drown our sorrows together" she mused and pulled the cork from the bottle 

"Right you are" Lucien hummed and placed the book down beside him. It was about Maps. Shaera poured the drink into the two glasses. They both took a sip 

"I thought you didn't want to be with Azriel" the dark haired woman sighed
"No... not really, maybe... Gods, It's complicated"

"Complicated because you slept with Tamlin... repeatedly" she licked her lip 

"That-" she pointed to him 

"-...and a range of other things" Shaera took another sip. The fact she'd also slept with the king, she'd been married, they were going to war... and now she could not drain the life from someone if she touched them... Shaera didn't know how it worked but she touches them, veins appear, and life depletes. 

"What will you do if they find out?" The redhead said watching her intently 

"Hopefully they never will.-" she moved her eyes away from Lucien. 

"Shaera, it'll unearth one way or another" 

"Tamlin made it clear he didn't want Feyre finding out when he choked me against a wall, he won't tell, I won't tell... and hopefully you won't tell" Shaera locked her gaze with his, pleading. 

"I won't tell-" Lucien breathed lifting the glass to his lips. They sat there in silence for what felt like hours both trapped within their thoughts

"You know-" The amber-eyed man spoke softly 

"- I saw the bruises-" Shaera swallowed 

"-the scratches-" their eyes met 

"-the bites... I've never seen anything like that before-"  Lucien grabbed her hand. Her eyes widened slightly

"Shaera, I'm sorry. No one should ever have to endure that" Her violet-eyed stared into his. No one... no one had ever spoken to her that way before. Know what she'd been through, and apologised for it. It wasn't Tamlin. No. But the fact Lucien acknowledge it. It offered her some form of peace.

"Thank you, Lucien-" she whispered, She squeezed his hand then released it. They sat there for a few seconds 

"I'm sorry for what Amarantha did under that mountain... what she did to all of you, the courts" Lucien stared at her from across the table. 

"You could've stopped it couldn't you?" He spoke, his words slow. Shaera sighed 

"Yes... I could've...-she whispered 

"-Not a day goes by where I don't wish I could go back and knock some sense into myself," the air was stagnant 

"Are you as powerful as Amarantha?" Lucien matched her lowered volume... of course, she was, she was sent to monitor the red-haired bitch. Keep her in check. When Amarantha gained control over the courts she drew power from the cauldron she had the upper hand... but in a fight, Shaera stood the victor every single time.

"Amarantha had a spell from the Cauldron to render you all under her control... I don't have such access anymore, but yes, if it came down to sheer personal power, I am more powerful than her" Lucien blinked 

"Can't you fight Hybern?..." 

"The king has a leash... a switch of sorts on my power... I believe if he ever saw me fighting against him in a battle, he'd simply turn that power off... it's why I can never be a true help... it stops me from betraying him." She breathed, Lucien frowned 

"You are a prisoner," the amber-eyed man said in disbelief.

"Yep-" Shaera popped the 'p

"This is why we drink" she mused, they clinked their glasses and downed the contents. Hours went by.

"What's your favourite.... hobby?" Lucien slurred and sat forward slightly, Shaera sat there for a moment 

"About six months ago I would've said training... but now I'm quite partial to long walks and eating pastries" she rested her chin in her palm. Lucien raised his glass 

"Now that, is character development, I enjoy horse riding...-" he paused and blinked into nothingness

"-Did you know my brother slaughtered the only woman I ever loved in front of me... Jesminda, she loved me for more than my rank. She knew me" Gods he was drunker than she was... how had they gone from hobbies to talking about dead loved ones in the span of 5 seconds? 7 bottles down the drain. It was now 8 o'clock at night and no one had interrupted their alcohol session 

"Least she's in a better place now, surrounded by peace," Shaera said taking a sip from a bottle... they'd abandoned the glasses 2 hours ago. 

"Yeah, she liked peonies, long walks in the moonlight, and animals-" The redhead rambled on clutching an empty bottle. 

"- Have you ever loved anyone?" He blinked at her expectedly. Shaera hummed 

"Yes I was married" Lucien's jaw dropped 

"I didn't know you were married" he hissed in a whisper leaning across the table, Shaera matched his movements 

"That's because it's a secret" she whispered back.

"Are we interrupting something?" A voice spoke up suddenly from the doorway. Shaera and Lucien snapped their heads to the left. Rhysand, Cassian and Mor stood in the doorway.

"Nope just conspiring to overthrow the High lord...the usual" Lucien turned to her in disbelief his mouth slightly agape. 

"Extremely hilarious Shaera-" Rhysand replied flatly and walked into the room. He picked up the bottles off the table one by one, shaking them. 

"-how much have you two drunk" 

"Leave us, we're wallowing in self-pity, aren't we Lucien?" The man nodded and raised his bottle to no one in particular. 

"Indeed we are" Rhysand sighed and gestured to Shaera 

"Cassian take her to bed, I'll take Lucien" 

"Rhysand we're not children" 

"Not but you're paralytic drunk and acting like children" Shaera growled in reply. Cassian approached her from behind and lifted her under her armpits. 

"Come on," he said softly and swung her arm over his shoulder. 

"Goodnight Lucien" she spoke behind her 

"Night Shaera" She was taken from the room.

"I didn't know you and Lucien were close," Cassian spoke softly as he guided her down the hall

"We weren't, but now we are, it's called 'mutual mate misery'" Cassian snorted and shook his head. 

"Why are you miserable about Azriel, you two were getting along" The Illyrian turned his head and look down at her. Shaera went quiet, then sighed 

"He said it was best I was with someone just like myself... meaning Eris"  she looked up at him, Cassian frowned deeply

"Ignore him, he spends so long in the shadows he forgets to see reason" they reached her room, and Cassian guided her over to the bed and sat her down 

"He sees reason, he knows he deserves better" Shaera kicked off her boots and moved the covers back crawling into them. Cassian moved them to cover her fully. She just looked up at him. The hazel-eyed man patted her head. 

"Sleep" he turned and walked to the door 

"Cassian-" Cassian paused and turned 

"-thank you" she whispered, the man's eyes widened slightly and he nodded, Shaera turned over and closed her eyes, she heard the door click shut.
Silence. 

"You should've come home when you had the chance" the king's voice whispered in her ear. She turned and stared into the darkness above... something was going to happen. Shaera could feel it... the Cauldron. The king was preparing for something.

She didn't sleep that night

**********************************

As soon as the sun peaked over the horizon Shaera flung herself from the bed. The hangover had hit during the night so now she was as right as rain. Her hair looked awful, she wore clothes from the day before. The ex-commander walked towards the door, opening it, she moved down the hall to the dining room. Something was off, the air was stagnant
People were sitting around the table. Sun shone through the windows. 

"You look like shit" Cassian burst out laughing staring up at the violet-eyed woman. Lucien was laying with his head on the table.

"I'm fine" she replied bluntly, grabbing an apple and walking to the door. 

"How do you do it?" Lucien groaned into the table. Shaera chuckled gently 

"Where are you going?" Rhysand spoke up she turned, violet connected with violet

"For a walk" Rhys waved his hand in dismissal... So that's what she did, she walked, walked the streets of Velaris, but nothing led her to a conclusion as to why she felt like this. Life just felt wrong, people laughed, children smiled and ran. Darkness was looming... she couldn't put her finger on it. Twin Ravens... it didn't make sense... they hadn't been seen in 50 years... a deep frown painted her features for the majority of the day. The feeling stayed until she had bathed and went to bed that night. Shaera didn't eat lunch or even dinner... she just strolled to her bedroom and closed the door without a word. What was coming?

****************
"Stay with Feyre-" a voice whispered,

"-they are coming"

"Protect the High lady"

"They are coming"

Shaera gasped and sat up from the bed.

—————————————-
4475
Many words...
I made this chapter my own thing because all Feyre was doing was training. So yeh
Hope you enjoyed it.
Fact: when I started Acotar I had the fattest obsession with Lucien like how are you going to give me this gorgeous, complex, amusing God and expect me to fancy moody, stoic Tamlin... it wasn't happening.
Anywho, more love to my man's Lucien 😌

Edit update: new cover, spelling corrections.

Edited May 14th 2022: Perhaps I should design a new cover, keep the tradition alive ;)

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