Shaera peeled her eyes open, birds chirped away outside, the sun shone through the curtains. After one half of the night being restless and tormented the other half was strangely silent, peaceful and an all-around 10/10 experience. The ex-commander tried to move but found herself encased in warm arms. Azriel's head rested above her own. 

"Azriel" she slapped his arm slightly. They were rock hard, bloody hell. The Illyrian didn't stir in the slightest 

"I swear to the gods, for a spy your alertness is shit" she smacked his arm again 

"My alertness is fantastic" he spoke from above her suddenly his voice was gravelly, the violet-eyed woman looked up into his hazel eyes, they peered down at her. 

"Get off" Shaera attempted to wriggle from his grip 

"No-" Azriel pulled her tighter against his chest. Bare chest. Her face set alight with heat. Fuck... she saw him topless last night why'd she have to blush now of all times 

"- Are you blushing?" 

"No" 

"You're blushing" Azriel's voice was laced with amusement. Shaera freed one of her arms and pinched his torso. Hard. The man jolted and released her. She sat up, her dark curly hair permanently moulded from her sleeping position 

"What's the time?" Azriel glared at her half-jokingly his handheld his freshly pinched rib 

"Probably about 7" Shaera groaned, grabbed her pillow and flopped back down shoving the thing over her face. 

"You look like you've been electrocuted when you wake up" The Illyrian stated out of nowhere, she lifted the pillow and glared at him 

"Piss off" the pillow was launched. Azriel caught it of course. Shaera grumbled and scooted from the silk sheets, stood and turned towards him. The hazel-eyed man was somehow already in front of his wardrobe putting on his usual Illyrian training attire which simply consisted of a lot of black and a lot of leather. She hummed a stretched her arms above her head 

"You look good in leather" she paused 

"I meant leather clothes" gods she could strangle herself sometimes. Azriel stopped and turned to the dark-haired woman, his eyebrow raised 

"Oh you did, did you?" He smirked, Shaera scoffed 

"It's always the quiet ones" she grumbled under her breath and made her way towards the door 

"Where are you going?" Azriel asked as he started to pull a black undershirt over his head

"Back to my room, I need clothes" she gestured to her under-dressed self, he paused, the shirt was hung loosely around his neck he hadn't yet pulled his arms through... torso still very much unclothed, she'd never known someone to take so long to put a top on. 

"Take your old clothes with you" Azriel gestured to her discarded shirt and pants on the floor. 

"Why? don't you want to lay them next to you and pretend it's me" The Illyrian shot her a look

The door opened

Azriel froze. Shaera froze. They stared at each other wide-eyed 

"Azriel" Shit, Cassian.

"We promised to train with Feyr...." the ex-commander turned around slowly her eyes met with the other Illyrian. Cassian's eyes flickered to her, then to Azriel's half-dressed self, then to the pile of her clothes on the floor. 

"Oh..." The room was silent as they all just stood there. 

"I can reassure you this is not what it looks like" Shaera spoke slowly staring into the man's hazel eyes. 

"Of course it isn't, I'll see you at breakfast" he grinned and backed out the door closing it behind him with a click. 

"He's going to tell everyone we had sex" Shaera groaned. 

"I'm not against the idea" Her violet eyes snapped over to his now dressed figure, she pointed her finger at him

"You..." 

"Me?" 

"Go fuck yourself"

"I'd rather you do it-" Shaera gaped, Azriel laughed 

"-it's so easy" he mumbled to himself as he shook his head, the Illyrian made his way to the door, as he passed her his hand shot out and pinched her waist. She jumped back and slapped his hand away 

"I said no" the ex-commander growled half-jokingly, Azriel only smirked 

"No to the mating bond, but you didn't say I couldn't tease you " Shaera just stood there for a few seconds blinking into nothingness ... she opened her mouth then closed it again. The dark-haired woman cleared her throat, she flickered her gaze up to meet his, her hand reached forward and ran down his chest resting slightly above his hip bone. Azriel's smirk dropped. Shaera leant forward and placed her mouth next to his ear. It was easy 

"You wanna go toe to toe with me, pretty boy?" the Illyrian let out a long shuddered sigh as her lips lingered for a moment below his earlobe. 

"I feel like I've made a mistake" Shaera moved away and grinned, she moved her hand from his hip and patted him on the shoulder

"I feel like you have as well" 

"Truce?" 

"Oh Azriel, the late commander of Hybern doesn't truce"  they were face to face. The Illyrian's gaze lingered on her lips. Shaera couldn't quite work the Illyrian out... in the company of the others, he was quiet, an observer. But when they were alone that slipped away, he was forward, somewhat spoke his mind, and teased her endlessly. She enjoyed his presence... the hazel-eyed man went to open his mouth...

"No second rounds after 8 am!" Cassian's voice shouted through the door. Azriel coughed,  Shaera shook her head and walked over to her clothes picking them up from the floor. 

"Breakfast is going to be interesting" she mused making her way towards the door. Azriel chuckled 

"Of course, it will be, You're there" Shaera shook her a glimpse of a smile gracing her features, she opened the door and made the small trip down the hall to her room.

************
Shaera's room was smaller than her one in Hybern, wood flooring, dark walls, a simple oak desk and a double bed. There was also quite a large window spreading across the back wall, she loved the window. Shaera chose to just change her underwear and stick on some brown pants, a burgundy top and dark umber coloured boots. She had a lot of boots. Maybe it was Rhysand's

 "I'm sorry for locking you away for so long, please forgive me"... oh shit, she called Feyre his 'bitch mate'. Shaera gritted her teeth, a small slip up.... vulgar words tend to just flow off her tongue like early morning dew. She'd not even bothered brushing her hair before it was stuck in a rather atrocious looking bun atop her head. She needed a bath later... it was becoming a matter of urgency. Shaera opened the door and walked down the hall, her hunger had started to announce its presence. The dark-haired woman rounded the corner into the dining room. She paused. Everyone... except Elain. Her violet-eyed flickered around the room an internal groan echoing within. She moved through the room quickly and planted herself in a chair between Azriel and Amren. Avoid eye contact. If she didn't acknowledge it then he wouldn't say anything. Shaera started loading up her plate with fruit, sliced melon, grapes, strawberries, and blueberries. And of course a small slice of bacon.

"Guess where I found Shaera morning" Her violet eyes snapped up to meet his, everyone around the table looked over at the Illyrian in confusion, Cassian sat back and moved his hands behind his head, he smiled lazily. Azriel had just poured himself a glass of orange juice and had started pouring some into Shaera's glass, she took her gaze off Cassian and nodded her thanks, she picked it up and took a sip. 

"Azriel had a visitor last night" he smirked at Shaera. Rhysand dropped his spoon. Mor stopped chewing her egg, Amren shrugged and drank from her cup, Nesta was unbothered. Feyre tried to hide her surprise. But who could blame her surprise, she'd come back and the woman who was her enemy was now Rhysand's long lost sister and supposedly sleeping with Azriel. Shaera's violet eyes scanned the room. Outside the window there wasn't a cloud in the sky, she grabbed some toast and bit into it 

"Do you have anything to say?" Cassian sat forward again, he stared at her.

"I don't see why you're so interested in my sex life" she replied bluntly, Shaera lounged back in the chair and placed her elbow on the rest, the toast held loosely in her right hand one eyebrow raised. 

"So you slept with Azriel" Mor questioned, She hummed an "mmm-hmm" and took another bite of toast.

"Your lack of elaboration is astounding" Azriel's voice filled her skull

"Why, whatever do you mean?" She replied, a small smirk lurked at the corner of her mouth 

"You know what I mean."

"Well technically we slept in the same bed"  Azriel shook his head amused, Shaera picked up her glass again a grin adorned her features

"Do you have a tendency of  having sex with any man who doesn't have a mate?" Lucien's voice filled her skull.

CRACK

The glass crumbled in her hand. small shards now decorated the oak surface. Blood dripped from her palm. Violet eyes snapped to gold. Only Lucien knew about her and Tamlin, and it's not anyone's business what she did in Hybern, Feyre wasn't with Tamlin and had no interest in being with the man again. Gods, she'd only shared plans, never her personal affairs with the circle and they never asked for them. 

"Pardon?"

"You know what I'm talking about" he sat forward the sun hit his red hair, it seemed to burn. That arsehole 

"Don't forget who saved you... maybe next time I'll let the king tear you to pieces along with your prick of a Highlord"  Lucien stood from his chair and marched to the door. He paused 

"You're a whore" Shaera laughed 

"It's not my fault your mate doesn't want you" The poisonous words dropped from her tongue with ease, his eyes widened, hands balled into fists. Lucien hesitated before turning and leaving the room. Shaera knew she and Lucien had a lot of unspoken words existing in the space between them but breakfast in the company of others wasn't the place. 

"I don't quite understand what happened but it was thrilling nonetheless" Mor's voice cut through the silence  Shaera leant forward and grabbed a napkin. She laid it out on the table and rested her hand on the white material

"Can you be at least tolerable for a small while " Rhysand spoke up, She laughed? 

"I'm nice to Azriel"

"Yeah we know how nice you are to Azriel" The Highlord let his eyes flicker to his spymaster for a moment 

"Oh please! We didn't have sex" They stared each other down

"Good, I didn't think he'd fall so low" the Highlord growled 

"Wow... " She glowered in disbelief,

"Shaera ignore it" Azriel's voice entered her mind, warm, comforting. She saw Feyre's hand move and rest on Rhysand arm, he visibly melted into her touch and eased. Then she noticed Azriel's touch on her leg. She blinked and turned to face her brother.

"Where's this all coming from Rhys? A week ago you asked me why I wouldn't accept the mating bond, but now I'm too low for Azriel" her violet eyes moved back to her brother.

"Circumstances change," Rhysand said, Shaera scoffed and turned to him. Azriel squeezed her leg. 

"How so?" The high lord chuckled his violet eyes blazing 

"Information unearths " Shaera's face dropped with realisation she sighed and stood from the table Azriel's hand slipped from her leg. Of course, Dagdan and Brannagh had spoken about her to the middle Archeron and as Rhysand's mate, she'd passed that information onto him. Not with malice intention, just words of caution. 

"I was the commander of Hybern... And I've never painted myself a saint" she turned to Feyre 

"I apologise for my vulgar language last night, it was rude and immature" the High Lady looked up at her and nodded. Cassian clapped and stood as well sensing the bubbling tensions 

"Azriel, Feyre. Training" he hummed and gestured to the door with his head. The two people called stood as well. 

"Guess breakfast is over" Morrigan sighed, Shaera's shoulders slumped and she walked from the dining room. She was always arguing with at least one member of the inner circle. Morrigan, then Cassian and now Rhysand. The dark-haired woman dreaded the day she faced Amren. Shaera felt like there would always be some hidden resentment towards her, though she was Rhysand's sister, she had been the commander for longer, and deep down for everyone, that's what she'd always be... For Gods sake, she didn't want sympathy or any form of love. She didn't deserve that. Shaera just wanted someone to see her for more than what the fates had painted her to be. Though as she slept beside Azriel last night it was the first time she felt like someone cared for her beyond their gain.

****************

For the rest of the day, Shaera had grabbed her sword and taken to avoiding the townhouse like the plague, instead, she found a nice tree at the base of a mountain and started hacking at it. People used her, always used her. A daughter her fate to be sold off into marriage. A prisoner for the power gain of others. A soldier a pawn in a game of chess. A commander is a glorified labourer. Lastly a whore. Shaera swung again, her sword split through the base of the tree and straight through to the other side, splinters of bark burst through the air. The tree fell into the snow. Fuck. She started on another tree. After about the 4th tree, she had taken to sprinting through the forest, it was funny how around Velaris there were areas of grass and flowers, it was as warm as spring, but if you went further out the harshness of the climate took hold. The cold stung her face. Her hair whipped around her. Shaera was sure she'd blunted her sword on the 3rd tree but she didn't care it's not like it was her sword. Her favourite sword was still in Hybern. Violet eyes caught something in the snow. Azriel and Feyre. Her gaze homed in on the high lady's back. Wings. She could make herself wings. Illyrian wings. Of course, she could, Feyre the woman with the power of all the high lords, she got everything and what, all she'd done was put up with a few months under the mountain. Shaera growled and continued into the forest. She knew jealousy wasn't a good look on anyone but gods the girl had lived 20 years. By the time Shaera was 20 she'd only just been freed from that cell. A few months after that she met Raiden. The dark-haired woman chose to forget the wrongdoings done to her, push aside her feelings, her trauma. Raiden tried to help but by that time the torment had already set in. She continued through the forest. Shaera knew she shouldn't be the one to judge others' pain or trauma, it was wrong, but the ex-commander couldn't help the resentment that bubbled beneath the surface. She was so angry at everyone all the time.

"Shae come home" the king's voice echoed around her skull. Shaera stopped and stared out across the frozen lake. The sun gleamed against the ice, snow sat thick against the earth, brightening the landscape. After all these years maybe she was beyond the point of saving, maybe Hybern truly was her home, Velaris was so good, so pure. And she stood there darkness pooled in her heart, rage clouding her mind. Shaera didn't belong in Velaris. She swung at the closest tree it tore in two.

The ex-commander stayed roaming the wilderness until sunset, the moon began to rise. She wouldn't return to the town tonight. The dark-haired woman climbed into a nice tree and slept.

*************************

Shaera walked up all the steps to get to the house of wind, her hands were blistered and sore...as she reached the top she could already tell the absence of people inside. Where was Elain... The dark-haired woman growled and turned around, sprinting far enough down the steps to winnow to the townhouse. She pushed open the door to find occupants, Minus Elain, Azriel and Amren. Her violet eyes scanned the area. No one had noticed her enter. Good. She moved into the house and closed the door behind her. 

"Is that sort of thing possible? For someone to take the Cauldron's essence?" Cassian questioned addressing the rest of the room. Oh. Great, just the topic of conversation she wanted to hear. The Cauldron. 

"It would seem so-" Rhysand mused, then turned to Lucien 

"The flame in her eyes was not your usual sort, I take it." Lucien shook his head 

"No. It spoke to nothing in my own arsenal. That was... ice so cold it burned. Ice and yet... fluid like flame. Or flame made of ice." Shaera hadn't focused on the Archeron sister, their small intervals of conversation about Elain were enough. The ex-commander knew of Elain's visions but it wasn't in her right to share something the young Archeron wasn't ready to share. 

"I think it's death-" Feyre spoke up. Shaera's gaze honed in on the High lady. 

"I think the power is death- death made flesh. Or whatever power the Cauldron holds over such things. That's why the Carver heard it- heard about her" Gods... Nesta had fought the Cauldron, stole some of its power... Shaera leant back against the door her fists clenched. 

"Mother above," Lucien whispered dragging a hand through his hair, Rhysand rubbed his jaw and shook his head in disbelief 

"Only Nesta would not just conquer Death—but pillage it" Shaera took in a shaky breath 

"Cin tol naud, Tul-bar" flightless Raven, come home
the voices paused. 

"Fovestras o Girth" Whisperer of death

As the dark-haired woman thought about the words, their whispers began chanting with her repeatedly. Nesta fought her way out, and Elain was saved... but the Cauldron had let Shaera go. It let her go. Shaera was back in the cauldron again, the man's hand around her ankles, she tried to remember. He had pale blue eyes clouded with death... he was smiling...
Her breathing became shallow, why was he smiling. She blinked and was back leaning against the door. 

"Rhys, he mentioned something else-" Feyre spoke lowly.

"- a wingless Raven, will fly home, wielding death and harbouring secrets to seal destruction...  you said Shaera had her wings taken" Well this was awkward.  The ex-commander just stood there, a grand prophecy about her... how absolutely thrilling. She pushed off the door and walked toward the group. Feyre turned and chocked

"When did you get here?" Shaera chuckled awkwardly 

"I just got in, why?"

"What did you hear?" Rhysand spoke up from beside his mate his violet eyes clashed with her own

"Was there something I should hear" she stared him down and gave him a chance, to tell the truth? 

"Where were you last night" He gritted his teeth and practically growled at her, he changed the subject. No surprise there 

"Oh fuck off Rhysand I wasn't passing on secret intel to Hybern" she hissed 

"Where. were. you" 

"Cutting down trees" Shaera growled now, black growing at the border of her irises. She stuck her hands out to show the sore blisters that decorated them along with cuts that littered her left hand from the glass the day before 

"Are you satisfied now, Highlord?" The ex-commander practically spat, Shaera stalked away into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. He was such a prick, going from an accepting brother to this assertive, distrusting, alpha male. She turned the tap of the bath on and rather aggressively dumped whatever oils she could find into the tub. "A flightless raven will fly home wielding death and harbouring secrets to seal destruction" what fucking secrets, oh the Highlord of the night court is partial to jam on his toast, and why couldn't she be a flightless dragon, not a bloody Raven. And anyways it was flightless, how can it fly home, it didn't make sense, whoever said it was an idiot. And that's all she wanted to think about on that matter. The bath was run and Shaera practically threw her clothes before she sunk into the warm water. Her hands stung. She glanced briefly down at the ankle the man had held. The woman did another take, one doesn't inspect one's ankle often, but she thought she'd at least noticed the deep black veins that curled around it. Fuckkkkkk.  The dark haired woman sunk further and fully submerged herself into the water's warm embrace. She laid in there for a while letting the grime melt off her skin. Now she had an ugly veiny ankle. A knock sounded. 

"What?" Shaera called out. 

"We're going to the court of nightmares" Mor's voice called through the door 

"I don't care" she called in reply. The blonde fae opened the door and just walked in. Shaera groaned and rested her head back 

"You're coming" Morrigan stated as a matter of fact 

"Why" The dark haired woman groaned again. 

"Because you, my dear cousin, can do that mind control stuff" Shaera snorted as Mor made a ray of weird gestures to her head. 

"I don't like my brother" 

"I know, but you're coming anyways" Morrigan grinned and tapped Shaera's head before exiting the bathroom. 

"Fuck sake" the dark-haired woman hissed to herself as she pulled herself from the bath grabbing a towel, and wrapping it around herself. The blonde fae popped her head back in 

"Wear something dangerous " she flashed her teeth and disappeared away again. Dangerous... she could do dangerous...

**********************
Shaera found a dress. Its blackness seemed to rival even the night sky itself, the material began round her neck then flowed down her torso, a space was cut from the chest area to reveal a decent amount of cleavage, it then continued off to one side elegantly covering her right leg and revealing the entirety of the other. If she wasn't careful in her movements she'd accidentally flash the entire court... Risky. Shaera had brushed her curls while they were wet to relax the volume slightly, instead of bouncy tendrils that she could never be assed to tame, they were elegant flowing locks swept into a side parting. Her eyes were no longer black so she settled on a lighter lip and a darker eye. Violet faded to black across her eyelid. Gods she just wanted to go to bed, her tree bed last night was awful. Luckily she'd had a bath and the townhouse had grand resources to get ready and a dress she'd stolen from a chest in one of the darker rooms.  Black heels clicked across the wood floor. Shaera entered the main room, there stood Feyre, Amren, Mor and Nesta along with Rhysand and... Azriel, Cassian wasn't coming then, she could feel hazel eyes graze over her, the Illyrian moved forward and wrapped his arm around her waist. The dark haired woman frowned. His mouth lowered to her ear

"Please Shaera, for your safety, when we walk in there, pretend your interests are solely favoured to me" She hummed and licked her lips. She didn't need his protection, but to cure Azriel's anxieties the ex-commander would follow... just this once 

"Very well" Shaera echoed into his mind. Rhysand sent her a look 

"If you mess this up"

"I don't even know what "this" is, I'll just be standing still, protecting people's minds, controlling others" she grinned at her brother, 

"Good" he replied bluntly. Azriel's hand remained around her waist 

"Don't have too much fun" She whispered into his mind, Azriel flickered his gaze over to her. He squeezed her waist 

"I'll try not to" he smirked

Then they all winnowed away. She didn't even get to see Elain

———————————————-
3946
Important: added a small spice scene to chapter 2.
QUESTION:
Spice levels for the future
1- give me sex
2-give me spice
3-just insinuate it
Please place your vote: if no votes are received I will do what I wish.

The next chapter is/ was hard to write, seeing as I couldn't pull Shaera out and write my own scenes because information was on a need to know basis. Gave me a headache transferring so much dialogue. Anywho I'll shush 

Edit update: grammar fixes... my spelling is atrocious 🤭

edited May 14th 2022: ^^^^^^^ IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU COULD COPY AND PASTE ON COMPUTER! I hate my life, do you understand how far into the story we'd be!! I'd probably be finished :(

Thank you all for reading!!!
Don't forget to vote and comment. And Thank you to everyone who does comment I really appreciate it xxx