They had sat in silence for a while, both seemingly frozen in the realisation they had found each other again after over 500 years. The trials they'd endured, the battles they'd fought. The times they'd stared death in the face. All those moments had drawn them back to one another. Shaera gazed over the forest below. Rhysand was beside her, she could feel the heat radiating off his arm. It was funny how the world worked, answered mysteries, then opened doors to more questions. The dark-haired woman blinked then turned her gaze to the high lord 

"Rhysand" she paused 

"What happened to father?" Her voice came out weak, she hadn't exactly thought about her family in a long time. Especially her father. Rhysand turned to her and sighed. 

"Tamlin killed him" Shaera's mouth formed an 'o' she went to speak but clamped her mouth shut as a conflicted expression started to rise on the
woman's face. 

"He had every right to, father killed his mother... Sa- Shaera-" He paused 

"The night you and mother died, he felt disrespected, dishonoured. We went to Spring court the very next month and slaughtered them all as they slept. We were meant to spare Tamlin's mother... but It didn't go as planned... When Tamlin woke and he smelt the carnage we had left. He tore him apart..." Rhysand stopped. Shaera raised her eyebrows

"You mean like..." she made an exploding gesture with her hands. Rhysand sent her an unimpressed look. 

"He was your father" 

"He was a prick" The high lord snorted and shook his head 

"I can't disagree with you there" They went silent again, it wasn't an awkward silence by any means. Just a silence. A comfort sat in the space between them. Almost as though they had never been parted at all. Rhysand was her brother. And Shaera was his sister. The high lord no longer saw the dark-haired woman as an enemy, a vicious, cold monster. But as his sister, a small defenceless 9-year-old, now grown, scarred, tormented...A survivor
Shaera saw her brother. Their childish dreams, ambitions and innocence slipped away as she looked at the High lord before her. He had changed. For better or for worse, he was a fighter, a protector, and ultimately. A leader.

***********************
They had spent the night talking about moments from their childhood, and happier times they'd seen after they were parted. Neither slipped into the darker details of their lives. It was comforting. As the sun started to rise above the horizon they had both agreed to return to wherever they came from. Shaera wasn't exactly an expert on the architecture of the city. Seeing as she spent so much time strolling between a meeting room and an infirmary and then locked in a prison for weeks on end. They winnowed outside a house. There were several steps below them.... so many steps. A vibrant orange had spread across the sky, birds had begun to sing, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

Rhysand opened the door and gestured for her to walk in. Shaera hesitated until the smell of bacon hit her nose, her eyes widened. She was so fucking hungry. But that was weird, she couldn't just skip in there with all of Rhysand's friends... 

"Are you going to walk in or not?" 

"Fuck off" 

"You've always had a potty mouth"

"And you've always had a stick up your arse" They continued into the house Rhysand followed behind her

"have you met yourself?" They walked into the room, Morrigan, Amren, Cassian and Azriel were all sat around eating breakfast. Shaera grabbed the nearest thing on the table by the door. A book. She chucked it at Rhysand. He caught it and placed it back down 

"Anger issues" Shaera scoffed, Rhysand chuckled lowly. Everyone sat around the table snapped their head up and looked at the pair .... silence...

"Your eyes are violet" 

"You two look the same..." 

"How did we not see it?" Amren just sat swirling her glass.

"So can you do what Rhysand can do, or are you just a weaker copy" Her steel grey eyes pierced her violet Rhysand patted Shaera's shoulder before he made his way over to the table and sat down? 

"Weaker" The ex-commander growled and moved forward, she pulled the oak chair out and plonked down into it. 

"He's just angry because I'm a better Daemati" 

"You can't even glamour" Rhysand took a bite of toast 

"I can see through yours!" Shaera sat back smugly and crossed her arms. She moved her eyes towards Cassian who avoided her gaze, the dark-haired woman rose her eyebrow.

"Are we just going to ignore what she did?-" Cassian spoke, the room fell quiet again. 

"-Obviously she saved my wings... but she... she betrayed her people!" Shaera's expression turned blank. 

"She was locked away in a cell for over a month" Azriel spoke up, his gaze lingered on the side of the dark-haired woman's face before he turned to Cassian. The taller Illyrian shook his head 

"So now what, she's forgiven? She sat in a cell for not even 2 months! Illyrians get harsher punishment for less" Cassian's voice grew louder. Azriel stood from his seat and growled, his hands slammed down onto the table. Mor dropped her fork 

"You're just pissed you couldn't flirt with her for over a month" Shaera picked up a piece of bacon off Rhysand's plate, she took a bite and suppressed a moan. Her eyes flickered between the two Illyrian soldiers 

"Oh please, it's not like I wanted to sleep with her!" Cassian stood from his chair as well. The women at the table groaned. Shaera plucked another piece of bacon from the high lord's plate 

"Stop stealing my bacon" he hissed under his breath 

"But it's getting interesting" 

"What's that got to do with my bacon" 

"I don't want to reach between them!" She hissed back and plopped the piece into her mouth. Rhysand shook his head. The two men were still shouting back and forth 

"She rejected you! Stop trying to please her!" 

"I'm not trying to please her!" Azriel growled Cassian scoffed. Shaera leant closer to Rhysand

"I look like you, right?" Rhysand hummed and nodded gently, his eyes remaining on his brothers 

"Now you've got the violet eyes, why?" He picked up a piece of toast and bit into it. 

"Do you think they're equally attracted to you as they are to me?" Rhysand choked, Shaera burst out laughing, Amren even smirked in amusement. Both the men turned to look at the siblings sat next to each other, Shaera waved them off 

"Please, don't mind us. Proceed" Azriel and Cassian stared at her then turned their gaze to Rhysand a look of confusion painted their features. The high lord swallowed his toast, a small cough racking his chest,

"Proceed" he waved his hand. Shaera snorted, Rhysand pulled his mouth into a straight line in an attempt to keep a straight face. 

"God, they figure out their siblings and it's back to how it always was" Mor groaned The ex-commander grinned. The two Illyrian men felt stupid stood squared up to each other in the kitchen. They melted back down into their seats. Morrigan sighed 

"She got a knife when she was eight... EIGHT! Who even gives a child a knife at eight years old" 

"You're lucky the sword wasn't as tempting" Shaera mused. Mor frowned at her 

"You chased me around the house with it every time you saw me! Rhysand just stood there smirking like the prick he is" The blonde fae aggressively shoved some scrambled egg into her mouth.

"SHE WAS THE COMMANDER OF HYBERN!" Cassian threw his hands up in the air. Amren took a sip from her cup then lowered it and turned to look at Cassian 

"You didn't care before... I recall your glee, and the kiss" she swirled her glass and cocked an eyebrow

"That was before I learned she betrayed her people and gouged my guard's eyes out!!" Shaera picked up a fork and stabbed it into a fried mushroom. 

"I defended myself" she placed it into her mouth and chewed 

"You antagonised him!" Cassian's expression was bordering on rage. Shaera swallowed the mushroom and pointed the fork at him 

"Was that before or after he dragged me into a room and held a knife at my throat?" 

"You killed his family! Did his family antagonise you? Did they do something to be slaughtered? What did they do Shaera!?" The man was up on his feet again as he shouted in her direction. 

"CASSIAN! Enough!" Rhysand roared as he stood from his seat. Azriel was seething in his seat. Shaera's throat was dry, she placed the fork down and grabbed the jug of water and poured some into a glass. The room was silent. She could feel everyone's gaze on her. The dark-haired woman took a sip before placing it gently onto the oak table. What was she meant to say... there were about 10 rogue soldiers in the town so she decided to wipe them all off the face of the earth. 

"'You should've heard their screams-'" Cassian whispered. Shaera snapped her eyes up to meet his 

"That's what you said wasn't it? Or did he lie" Rhysand and Azriel were looking at their brother in disbelief?

"Ghendia was a mistake.-" Her voice was low.

"- We were searching for men who had fled Hybern."

"How many?! How many fled" Cassian growled

"Ten." Cassian scoffed in disbelief 

"You killed hundreds for ten men?..."

"1023" 

"What?" 

"I killed 1023 men, women and children in Ghendia for 10 men." Cassian's face held nothing more than shock and disgust. 

"Cassian sit down" Rhysand commanded, The hazel-eyed Illyrian lowered into his seat, the high lord followed suit. 

"So... You and Azriel...mates ...who would've thought" Mor chimed in. Shaera bit into a piece of toast. That just turned everything awkward... well more awkward than it was 5 seconds before. This time the other hazel-eyed Illyrian scoffed. Stood up. And marched out of the room. Shaera swallowed her toast

"Touchy subject" the dark-haired woman hummed and took another bite. 

"Why don't you just accept the bond?" Morrigan leant forward slightly her blonde hair framed her face. Shaera swallowed again and frowned. She didn't know why. She loved Raiden, but he was gone, and she'd accepted that. But a whole mating bond. It's the collective of the universe dictating your fate. 

"I don't want to" Shaera stood from her chair, she dropped her toast onto the plate with a small chime Rhysand looked up at her in confusion Mor mirrored his gaze. Cassian's expression simply seeped with hate. Amren's face remained passive. The violet-eyed woman turned and walked out of the room.

*************

Shaera had found a balcony that overlooked the city. It was beautiful. She didn't know why, but the idea to stand on the wall that stopped someone from plummeting to their untimely death seemed like a grand idea. The ex-commander stretched her arms out, the black sleeved of her shirt swirled around her arms. Her hair flew behind her. The cold air kissed her face. If she closed her eyes, it was as though she was flying again. Shaera couldn't do it at Hybern... the windows were too small, the place was the definition of imprisonment... nothing like the city that stretched below.

"Why?" Shaera's eyes snapped open, she lowered her arms and turned behind her. Azriel was stood below her. 

"Why won't you accept it?" He lifted his eyes to meet hers. Violet danced with Hazel. Shaera lowered herself so she was sitting on the wall. Her mouth opened and closed. Azriel scoffed 

"You can't even answer me." He ran his hand through his hair. It had never been just them. Alone. The healer's room was never empty for more than 3 minutes at a time. Her eyes passed over him. Dark hair, sharp jaw decorated with the tiniest amount of stubble. Tan skin.  her eyes moved back up to meet his. He sighed 

"Even now, you look at me like I have a chance Shaera." The way her name fell from his lips, the way his voice made it sound like the sweetest honey. She couldn't do it, she wouldn't let him love her. The dark-haired woman slipped off the wall, she moved past the man her back to him. She didn't mean to look at him like that... Shaera didn't want to lead the man on, she was a lost cause. The sooner he rejects the bond, the sooner he could find someone else... Azriel's hand latched around her wrist, she turned

"Please..." his voice was pleading, hazel eyes pooled with despair. The Illyrian moved forward, they stood face to face, her breath hitched.  Shaera looked up at him, 

"I can't give you the bond you deserve" she whispered. Violet and hazel swirled together, his right hand came up and rested on her cheek. It was warm as though the sun's rays danced beneath his palm. The irony. Shaera melted into his touch. His thumb gently ran across her cheekbone. The way golden flecks were woven into his irises was fascinating. His face was centimetres from her own.

"Your very existence alone is more than I deserve,"  he said lowly, his breath fanned her face She didn't remember him being that close moments before. He smelt like mist and Cedar. Fuck. His touch sent a warmth spiralling through her body. This was bad... earlier she proclaimed to the occupants of breakfast she couldn't be with Azriel. She firmly stated she wouldn't be with him. And now she was seconds away from kissing him. Seconds. It was as though they both had entered a daze. His hand moved down to rest on her jaw, Shaera's head tilted upwards towards the shadow singer. She moved her left hand to rest on the back of her neck, his left rested on her hipHis lips brushed against hers. She was not a woman of her word. She was going to kiss the man... bad

"Azriel...I can't" she breathed Then he stepped away from her touch. His breath was shallow. Azriel swallowed and cleared his throat, The Illyrian blinked

"I will respect your choices" he backed away and marched off through the entrance of the balcony. Shaera just stood there. She didn't know what just occurred... When he'd moved away it was as though she was emptier, like the other half of herself left with the hazel-eyed Illyrian man. She blinked and moved back over to the stone wall and sat down. What worried her the most was as the words "I can't" slipped off her tongue, every part of her yearned for him.

**********************
2483
This was due Friday, but I was a wee bit lazy
So on this fine Sunday morning: 1 am as per usual. I release this chapter upon you.
I also forgot accents existed. Shaera has a British accent because I too have an accent that is British,

Edit update: changed some wording and fixed some spelling mistakes.

Anywho don't forget to vote and comment!
Thank you for reading! ❤️

Edited 12th May 2022:  As tradition goes it is 1:08am ;)