"No severe head injury..."

Ni wala akong marinig sa mga sinasabi ni Doc. My mind is in chaos. I have been awake for an hour or so but I kept coming back to what had happened. And all I could think about is my girlfriend's wellbeing.

Amelie, how will I know you're okay? Tell me.

"Where's Amelie? How is she?" the first thing that came out of my mouth as the doctor steps out of the room.

Dad's leaning in the corner of the room. Mom sighed and walked towards the bed.

"Magpahinga ka muna, Kithian, okay? We will talk about her later."

"Mommy, I want to know. Please. I want to see Amelie."

She's fine, Kithian. Why are you worrying too much? She's fine.

Tangina. Paano kung hindi?

What am I gonna do?

Regret until I die.

"Kakagising mo lang, kuya. You've been sleeping for almost three months. It's better for you to rest, aight? Your brain is still on reset." Krono said.

"Just tell me whether she's fine or... or not. Kahit... iyon lang." There was a long pause. "Please..."

Mom looked over to dad. Dad nodded.

"She's fine, dear. Amelie is doing good."

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim ng paghinga. God, I owe you for this. I owe you a lot in this lifetime.

"You better rest now, Kithian." Si Dad.

Tumango ako. I better do so I can see her immediately.

A week in the hospital feels like an eternity to me. l was not allowed to touch my phone nor to get down the bed by myself. It was cleaely a miracle that I woke up... given the fact that I was stabbed by some metal shit.

"When can I see my girlfriend?"

Fuck. I'm sure her parents have their blood boiling on me now. There's always a second chance but... damn it.

"Nagpapahinga sa kanila, bro," Krono answered.

Keeno was surprisingly silent. He wasn't like that normally. He was loud... as much as Krono.

"Miss mo na 'no?" Keeno suddenly spoke.

"Oo naman." I gave him a reassuring smirk.

"Rest well so you can get to her."

I patted his shoulder.

"You're acting really weird. Anong nakain mo?"

I tried laughing it off so he would do the same. Pero ang gago hindi man lang ngumiti.

"I'm off to work later. Hindi ka muna pwedeng magmaneho kaya ako na muna ang gagamit sa kotse mo. Tell me if you're going somewhere so I can drive you there."

What's with him?

"What's up with you? Why are you being so generous all of a sudden? Ano? Takot ka na baka mamatay ako? Ulol!" I chuckled.

Siraulo. Papatayin yata ako e.

"Tanga ka kasi magmaneho, kuya. Ako muna gagamit ha? Ganda talaga ng kotse mo. Makakahakot ako ng maraming babae."

This punk.

"You fucking try! Si Amelie lang ang pwedeng sumakay sa kotse na 'yon."

His expression changed. From having a sly smirk to being ridiculously serious. Bipolar.

"Aakyat muna ako sa kwarto. You rest, kuya, so you'll have the energy to snatch Amelie back from her parents. They're tighter than before. If only you have seen how they stare at us." Krono clicked his tongue repeatedly while shaking his head as if everything was disappointing.

Si Keeno na kaniyang katabi ay pabirong sinuntok ang braso ni Krono. I don't mind going through hell just to get Amelie. Natatakot ako, oo, pero anong magagawa ng takot ko kung si Amelie na ang pag-uusapan?

I thank Him for bringing me back to life. For giving me the second chance.

"Aalis na ako, kuya. Gusto mo ihatid kita sa kwarto mo para makapagpahinga ka?" Keeno asked.

"Nah, I'm good. I thought you'll leave later?"

He smirked.

"Aagahan ko na. I hate being on time... or late."

I nodded. He picked up his phone and waved goodbye to Krono and I. Nang lingunin ko ang kapatid ay nakatitig lang din ito sa pintong nilabasan ni Keeno.

"Damn, man. You better make it up to that brute, Kuya Kit. He was the one who cried the most alongside mom when you were sent to the emergency room."

"He did?" I silently asked as I stare outside the window.

"Hm. We were devastated, but he was extra. Siya rin halos ang nagbantay sa 'yo sa ospital. Whenever he returned home from work, he would head straight to the hospital. He was afraid of losing you." He chuckled. "And I was the chill guy because I know you'd survive. Or at least that's what I believed. And you did."

Paano nga kung natuluyan ako? Nothing's permanent in this world. Hindi alam ng isang tao kung oras niya na ba. Kung oras mo na, oras mo na talaga. You cannot do anything to stop it. Bro's plan will always happen. Hindi pwedeng pangunahan... o pigilan.

Amelie. My family. Friends. What would they do?

"Did you sleep well?"

The moment I woke up, I found Keeno's eyes looking at me. Krono, on the other hand, was doing something in my desk.

"Early in the morning..." I murmured. "Why the heavens are you two inside my room?"

"What else? To check on you, dumbo!" Krono answered.

"I'm not going to die though," I joked.

"You will because you're dumb. Mom told me to wake you up for breakfast. Isang oras na kaming naghihintay para gumising ka."

Keeno's stern voice echoed inside my ears. Napahilamos ako ng mukha.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

I can't help but yawn. That was a good sleep. Not s good as when I was with Amelie but that sleep was way good than my usual.

"You're recovering." Krono looked over to me.

"I recovered a long time ago. Let's go eat breakfast. Baka hindi niyo malunok ang pagkain niyo ng hindi ako nakikita."

Humalakhak ako sa dismaya at pandidiri sa mga mukha nila. Kulang nalang ay suntukin ako pero pinipigilan ang sarili dahil kakagaling ko lang sa ospital.

Pagbaba ay nakahanda na ang pagkain. I'm not allowed to eat solid foods until the doctor gives a green light. I am only allowed to eat clear liquids and soft foods.

"The doctor said you are not allowed to do any extreme activities while recovering. Don't worry, weekly naman nating bibisitshin ang doctor mo to make sure there are no complications." Si Mommy.

"Thank you, Mom. And I'm sorry for worrying you so much. I promise not to do the same stupidity again. Thanks, dad and Krono. And of course, the one who cried uncontrollably, Keeno."

He snugged.

"I didn't cry. I'm not a pussy."

"Keeno!" Mom shouted.

"Yeah cuz you're a dick."

"Krono!" Dad warned.

Nasapo ni Mommy ang kaniyang noo. I missed having breakfast, lunch, and dinner like this. Complete, chaotic, and happy.

Amelie, I miss you so much, baby.

The next day, we went out for a ride to Amelie's house. I was too excited that I can't even stop grinning... and singing. I know I was a horrible singer but who cares? I'm finally gonna see her today.

When we reached their house, it was quite and dull. I can't even recognize if this is the same house.

"Bakit... walang tao? Where's Amelie? Where's my girlfriend?"

"Kuya, umuwi na tayo. Ikaw kasi, Krono!" iritadong sabi ni Keeno.

"He wished to see this house! Pinagbigyan ko lang, baka masuntok ako e!" depensa ni Krono.

"Kuya, umuwi na Tayo. Wala ng tao sa bahay na 'yan."

I turned to face Keeno.

"What do you mean? This is Amelie's house! Amelie! Amelie, baby, please!" I begged desperately.

We've been here for an hour or two. Pero walang lumalabas. The house does look like it has been abandoned. The grass are taller than how it used to.

Dati, sobrang linis ng paligid. Walang kapintasan. Ngayon, parang hindi na inaalagaan.

"Just tell him, Keeno!" Krono frustratedly remarked.

"Tell me what?!" I asked in irritation. "Amelie, my love, please come out!"

"Kuya, umuwi na tayo! Hinahanap na tayo sa bahay!"

Keeno tried to hold my arm but I immediately dismissed his hand. No one's going home without me seeing my girlfriend.

"Keeno!" Krono continued.

"Shut up, Krono! Uuwi na tayo!"

Keeno gripped the hem of my shirt. I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my system. The next thing I knew, Keeno was already on the ground. Putok ang labi at galit na nakatingin sa 'kin.

No. It was more of grief and madness.

"Kuya! Damn it. Amelie's not here, okay?! Kahit ilang beses mong tawagin, wala kang mapapala kasi wala ng tao diyan!" Krono shouted angrily.

Watching them like this made me question my worth as their eldest brother.

I took a deep sigh and helped Keeno to stand up. Pinagpagan niya ang kaniyang sarili.

"Umuwi na kayo. Susunod din ako mamaya," kalmado kong sabi.

"Hindi, kuya. Uuwi tayong tatlo. Hinahanap na tayo nina mommy."

Krono looked helpless but I am determined to wait for Amelie to come out. Kung ayaw niyang lumabas, papasukin ko siya. Bahala na kahit magalit ang magulang niya. I just want to see her... to hug her. That's all I ask. Bakit hirap na hirap kayong ibigay sa 'kin ang bagay na 'yon?!

"Gusto mo bang bumuka iyang tahi mo?"

"It's all healed up. Hindi na 'yan bubukas pa," matabang kong sagot sa kapatid.

"I will forcefully open that shit if you won't listen!" Keeno spat angrily. "Umuwi na tayo. Amelie's not living here anymore. Dinala ka namin dito hindi para makita mo siya, but for you to see and realize that your girlfriend... no, scratch that, your ex-girlfriend is not living here anymore!"

"Stop lying in my face, you punk! Gusto mong masuntok ulit? Ano?!" I aggressively demanded.

Kung gusto niyang magsuntukan kami, papayag ako. Kapalit ng pag-iwan nila sa 'kin dito, gagawin ko.

My girlfriend is here. I can prove it to them.

"Wala nga, Kuya Kit! The moment Amelie woke up a week after in the same hospital, her parents decided to bring her abroad for fast recovery! Who knows kung nasaan o kung anong ginagawa niya ngayon!" si Krono.

"I said stop lying. Hindi kayo pinalaking sinungaling ng mga magulang natin."

I tried so hard not to cry. It may seem like they're bullying me, but deep down, I know they care for me.

What, Amelie? Do I have to beg God to let me see you again? Do you want me to beg, baby? I will fucking do it! With all my heart!

"Krono, tumahimik ka!" Keeno shouted. "Let him recover first! Kapag 'yan sumunod..."

"Fuck recovery! Tell me where my girlfriend is right now!"

"Sa bahay na natin 'yan pag-usapan. Kailangan mong kumalma, kuya."

The next second, I found myself sitting in the backseat of the car on the way back home. Keeno's punch was hard as heck. I almost think I lost a tooth.

"Talagang humirit pa kayo ng suntukan bago kayo nagsiuwian dito? What is wrong with all of you?!" Mom shouted. "Hindi na sana kayo umuwi kung ganiyan lang din ang ipapakita niyo sa 'kin!"

Krono eyed me consciously as if wanting me to say something.

"Si Kuya ang nauna..." Keeno mumbled.

"I don't care who did it first. Bakit kayo nagsuntukan?"

"It's all my fault, mom. I'm sorry."

But how can I tell her I miss Amelie so much? That I punched my brothers because I want to see Amelie?

"Why? Huh? Is it because of Amelie? Si Amelie ba, Kithian?"

Krono stepped forward.

"Mommy, nagkatuwaan lang po kami."

"Oh, don't give me that, Krono Dylan!"

Mom is pissed. Completely pissed.

"You two fix yourselves. And you, Kithian Dominic, follow me."

I wiped the blood on the side of my lip. Krono smirked at me.

I followed mom to the pool area. Sa kaniyang tabi ay medicine kit. Nang umupo ako ay agad siyang tumayo at binuksan ang kit.

"Amelie's not here anymore, Kithian," she started.

Hearing that from her definitely ripped me apart.

"Mommy..."

"Shh, let me finish. Amelie was admitted on the same hospital as you, but she woke up a week after and was discharged early." She smiled inwardly. "Her mom used to snob me before and I would do the same, as we weren't close. At hindi rin naman namin kilala ang isa't isa."

Amelie, how much do you want me to miss you, huh?

"I was happy when I get to finally know that she was your girlfriend. Because maybe that way, her mom and I will get close, too," she continued. "During the critical moments of your lives, I saw how she broke down outside the emergency room. At nang magising si Amelie, sa akin siya unang lumapit."

Mom finished everything off with a betadine and few bandages. She then sat across while gazing on to the water.

"Kithian, she begged me not to let you near her daughter. Because... you will never be good for her daughter. A Javier like you... will never be good for Amelie."

I can be a good Javier for Amelie. One last chance. I will prove it.

Maraming bagay ang tumatakbo sa isip ko. At hindi ko alam kung alin sa kanila ang uunahin. It's like I'm lost by my own thought. I was motionless and emotionless as I think about it. I wouldn't even wake up from my own little world if mom hadn't touched my hand.

"Let's put it this way. If you're going to be a dad, and you'll see your daughter happy with her boyfriend, would that be okay to you?" Mom clamly asked.

I see no problem with that.

"Yes."

"Hm. And if in fact it's okay with you and then one night, her boyfriend decided to drive her home but they met an accident along the road almost taking your daughter's life, would you still entrust your daughter's life to her boyfriend?"

Who even the fuck is that boyfriend? And in the first place, my daughter would not get a boyfriend.

"No. Of course not."

"Exactly, anak. That's what Amelie's parents feel during that time. I did not promise her anything and I am not stopping you on anything you want to do. The decision lies on you. You are rational enough to think about it, dear."

Amelie... I am so sorry, baby.

The silence was too loud for me.

"Mommy?"

Funny how I sounded like a little boy.

"Hm?"

"I miss her so much."

With that being said, tears pooled down my eyes. How can I be rational... when it comes to Amelie?

Mom embraced me and I cried to her like a little boy.