CHAPTER 5

Kenneth

"It's not the worst one I've seen, but it's an infection and I'm glad you came in. Waiting at the VA Hospital would have most likely not ended well for you. Pathology says it's a strain of staphylococcus. We'll put you on some IV antibiotics and send you home in a few days with a cream to rub on the open sores." A deep male voice is rambling on inside the dark room as I stand in the hallway double-checking I have the right room number.

"Thanks, Sir." Mateo's voice is rough and I can tell he's in a lot of pain just from the sound of it. We spent so much time together before the mission, I know him well enough to know when something isn't right.

"You're welcome. I'll stop in again tomorrow to check on you. The nurse should be in shortly to get the meds started." The older man leaves the room, never even looking up as he heads to the counter behind me.

I step inside and it's as if I'm crossing from day to night. While the hallway is bright and cheery, filled with noise and commotion, Mateo's room is dark and depressing. He doesn't even have the TV on or any lights other than the one directly above his bed. I imagine it was the one the doctor was using to read the results.

Mateo's eyes are closed and his hands are gripping the mattress beneath him so hard his knuckles are white. His leg is propped up outside the sheets and I can see a large expanse of his thigh is covered in scarring skin and still-healing wounds. Near his kneecap the injury is especially red and shinny with moisture that most definitely doesn't mean it's healing well.

His face is pinched in discomfort and I know he's usually a pretty tough guy so this must be pushing his limit of tolerance. I watch a tear drip down the side of his face. He's hurting, and I'd give anything to be able to talk to him and tell him what a hero he is. I wonder where the other guys are and why he's here alone.

A nurse steps into the room behind me and then hangs a bag of something from the IV hook. "This is going to drip in slowly. It shouldn't bother you, but sometimes it makes people a little nauseous. Let me know if that happens and I can give you something for it. The doctor wrote it in the orders just in case."

Mateo doesn't even open his eyes. He just nods his head slightly and reaches for his thigh. "Don't," she warns just before his hand meets its target. "You can spread that fast. I can wrap it for you if you'd like. Sometimes that helps people to remember not to touch it."

"No. Thank you." His first word is sharp, but he softens it up at the end. If the nurse is offended she doesn't show it.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" She moves over to the white board hanging on the wall and writes down some medical terminology along with her name. "I'm your nurse for this shift so just hit the button if you need me."

"Okay, thank you." His voice is still strained, but you'd have to really know him to notice. She leaves the room and he's alone again.

I take a minute to look closely at his leg. He must have been hit just after me as we made a run for cover. I wonder if he thought he was going to die, or if he was too pumped up with adrenaline to feel the severity of his injury. I need to sit down when I realize he was in the perfect position to watch me die. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like.

His cell phone rings from the small table beside his bed. I see Lucas' name flash across the screen and feel homesick for my friend. I'm also relieved because his name wouldn't be blinking if he didn't make it home. I let out a breath I didn't even know had been trapped in my lungs. Two out of four of my best friends are alive. I'm sure they are carrying around a lot of messed up baggage from the disaster that they had to witness, but they are all very strong—not just physically, but mentally—and I know they will figure out how to live without the pieces of them they buried in that desert.

The ringing stops and then starts up once more. I chuckle as I see Lucas' name again. He never gives up. I don't know who had assigned him as the dad of our group, but he takes good care of all of us. He isn't going to quit until Mateo picks it up.

"Goddammit." Mateo curses as he reaches for his phone. "Calm down asshole, you miss me that much?" He has the phone to his ear, but his eyes are closed again.

I can't hear what Lucas is telling him, but I trust it's all the right words. He has a way of doing that so well. I'm glad it isn't me trying to keep us together and happy. I have a sharp tongue and a dry sense of humor, but in this moment I have no words I would have been able to share that could make what he's going through any better.

"I'm fine. It's just a small infection. They're giving me some shit through my IV and then I'm good to go." He opens his eyes and looks up to the bag of fluid hanging. He spins it with his finger as he listens to Lucas.

"No. I already told you. I don't need you to come out here. I can take care of myself. You have a new wife to worry about. You don't need to be babysitting me." He looks down to his leg and I can see the contempt in his eyes. They linger on the wound and then flash over to the corner where a walker is resting against the wall out of the way.

Fuck. A fucking walker? This guy was athletic as hell. He was always running races and working out. If he can walk on his own he's lost almost as much as I did.

"If you fly out I'm not picking you up at the airport. I'm not even going to let you into my apartment." He laughs softly and I appreciate Lucas for that small reprieve from the grief that is so thick in this room I can feel it in my gut. "Yes, I made the appointment for Monday. Some place at the VA Hospital. I have to go in for an intake and then the physical therapy can start."

His hand reaches for his thigh again and I watch him struggle to refrain from touching it. "It's fucking torture. It aches and burns. I can't wait until I can walk on it again. Sometimes I think I'd be better off if they had just taken my leg."

When his hand squeezes his thigh above the wound I move closer. I know he won't be able to feel it, but I can't stand here doing nothing while he suffers. I press my hand over the wound and his hand falls from his leg. I can't really feel it beneath my palm, but interestingly enough it seems to be helping him some how. He stares down at where my hand is and blows out a big breath.

"Listen," he tells Lucas. "Give me a few weeks to get on my feet again and then you guys can come down here and suffocate me with all your mothering. Until then, keep tabs on Liam, make sure Wes doesn't get back with that chick that hates the Corps., and do whatever it is a honeymooner should be doing. Don't make me draw you a fucking picture."

I laugh, closing my eyes for a minute and wishing I could take him out for a beer. I'm going to miss this verbal banter almost as much as I'll miss my mom and sister. In a way, these men are my family too. I might not have known them as long, but our situation and experiences have made us fast friends.

"Don't forget to leave the coin at Pines' gravesite when you go. I can't get there, but I want his family to know I care."

My gravesite. Shit, it sounds so final.

"Thanks man. I'll text you when I'm out of this place." He pulls the phone away from his ear and disconnects the call. He sets his phone back on the small table and reaches to press the nurse button. He pauses, and I wonder if he's going to be too proud to ask for her help. In the end, the pain wins out and he presses the button to summon the nurse.

I keep my hand on his leg, kneading the muscles as we wait for the nurse. When she finally steps inside she asks, "What can I get you?"

"My leg feels really warm. I don't know if it's the infection or the nerves coming back to life, but the heat is actually making it feel better. Any chance I could get a hot pack or something?"

She steps up to the side of the bed close to me, but not quite touching. She looks at the wound carefully as if my hand isn't even there. "I can get you some heat, but you can't put it on the infection. If you want it above or below it should be fine."

"Thanks," Mateo answers, looking genuinely relieved. I guess there isn't much that brings him comfort. I'm not sure if there is anything I can do for him, or how I'd even make anything happen when he can't see or hear me. For tonight there isn't a thing I can do to make any of it better.

When the nurse comes back I step out into the hallway. My plan is to stay out here for just a minute, but then I see the doors to the children's wing swing open and Quinn steps through them. She's laughing and talking to a girl in scrubs standing just inside the doors.

I have so many things I need to figure out, like how what I'm doing here and how I'm going to get out of this limbo space. I want to check on my other friends too, and make sure they're home and okay. I know my soul won't rest until I'm sure they will all survive what we've been through. But with all of that swirling around in my head, my heart speaks louder and tells me there's more I need to know about the wonderfully mysterious girl that's headed my way.