CP: Bourdelson

Title: So you know that when it's time to sink or swim

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Rob was attacked by the grief while going surfing.

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Brad asked Rob out to go and do something after Chester had passed away for two months. Even though Rob didn't want to do anything 'cause he was dead tired, but he knew he should go out and clear his mind from the suffer.

"Hey." Brad greeted him smiling at the front door when he saw him went outside closing the door.

"Hey. You waited for me? You can just ask me to go to your place, though." Rob turned away from the house, started walking with Brad to where they decided to go.

"It's fine, the waiting wasn't so long." Brad stretched smiling. "Well! Did you bring your stuff?"

Rob nodded showing him the bag. It was the black wetsuit he always kept in the wardrobe despite how much he loved swimming. Or maybe not swimming, just surfing. It was quite a while since he last went to the beach, where he could forget about everything else. They hurried to the seashore and got into the dressing room to change.

But as Rob just got in and pulled the curtain to the side, he heard someone next to his room talking.

"Hey did you heard the news? About the singer of Linkin Park?" A man started the chat. Rob had to hurry up or else he'd end up crazy. He had already got his clothes off and began to put the wetsuit on.

"Yeah I know... I feel jealous of him though. He got all the money and fame, and great fans. But he just threw his life away." Another person replied whispering, but Rob couldn't avoid hearing it. Just as he finished changing, he felt his hand shaking and his mind started showing the picture was then.

"Dude that's not nice. C'mon, he was depressed after all..." That's definitely the worst thing Rob could hear. After that he heard them pushing the talk away and went outside, leaving Rob with tons of thinking inside his head. He pulled the curtain aside and stepped out, seeing Brad leaning his back onto the wall waiting for him again.

"Rob... You okay?" Brad said, trying to catch Rob's mood through his answer. But Rob didn't say anything, just nodded unsurely. His eyes gazed at the ground all the time, making Brad worry.

"Hey Rob... Let's just push that aside okay? I'm here, you can rely on me if you want." Brad tried to reassure him, receiving a weak smile from Rob.

Brad threw his hand over Rob's shoulder, trying to lighten his mood. He wasn't sure if Rob was thinking about Chester again, but at least he could relax when seeing Rob smiled and went out to the beach with him. Rob went to pick the boards in order to have a cool showoff. As Brad put his foot into the water, he jumped laughing causing Rob to turn his head towards him smiling, too.

"Damn it's cold!" Brad put his feet into the water again, getting used to it.

"Water is water, after all." Rob gave Brad his board and started to feel the water.

As Brad swam across the waves, he felt something wrong with Rob as if his movements weren't so smooth and professional as always. Still Brad decided not to press too much during the fun since it would just ruin the playing. He followed Rob into the waves, letting his body relax before facing a big wave and he stood up on his board, trying to keep balance.

Brad laughed in happiness seeing himself on top of the wave, surfing so smoothly. The loud sounds of the waves shoved away all the sadness and madness inside him. When the wave crashed onto his head, making him fall, Brad grinned proudly swam through the water with his board. He waved at Rob who was quite far away, waiting for his chance.

Rob smiled as he saw the tiny figure of Brad far away from him who just surfed for a minute. It was quite a show for Rob, enough to push aside those bad thoughts. And the wave he was waiting for was coming. Rob smirked climbed on the board, flowing with the wave quickly. His wet hair floated in the air made him looked even cooler.

But just as Rob made his halfway through the surfing, he saw somebody was holding a long rope running on the beach. The brown, thin rope reminded him of that. That. Rob shook his head wanted to concentrate on the water, but he lost his balance and fell into the waves. His feet slipped away from the board and he fell deep into the water. His ears couldn't hear things properly as they could only hear the bubbling sound of water.

Rob tried to make his body move, to get out of the deep water. But a thought crossed his mind.

Was this what Chester had to feel?

To be sinking in his thoughts, in his futile feelings. He felt sad and mad at the same time. His heart tighten as Rob couldn't breathe. Water started to make their way inside his lungs when Rob gasped. Half choking Rob squinted his eyes, feeling the hostile water pulling him down.

He was sinking, and he knew it. He wanted to swim up but his body just didn't listen. Maybe Chester had to fight with his thoughts between life and death, too? There was no one with him when he hanged himself up cutting his breath. And Rob was similar. The water just like his guilt, consuming him.

As lucky as possible, Rob felt his hand being pulled up from the deep water. His eyes shot opened as the bright light of the sun burned his skin. Brad was there, patting his back, his voice strained maybe because of shouting so loud.

"Rob! Rob! Can you hear me?!" Rob couldn't hear him so well as he was coughing. Brad held him in his thin arms, shaking his shoulder.

Rob's hand slowly reached his face to wipe off the water which had gone into his eyes. He could feel the worrying tone in Brad's hoarse voice, but he couldn't keep his smile anymore. Gripping the other's arm Rob tried to stand on the sandy ground as Brad moved them back to the beach.

"Rob you really scared me! Are you okay?" Brad frowned leading Rob to a place where had only a few people there. Rob was still confused and his mind was probably still drowning in the water.

"Maybe no." Rob managed to say while feeling his body was full of water. What a mirage he was saved by Brad.

The feeling of drowning was really scary, but it was also very relaxing and calm. Was that what death feels like? Rob thought but Brad cut off.

"Please don't even try. I'm still here Rob. I can't lose another one who's important to me."

Rob widen his eyes when Brad hugged him, burying his head in Rob's shoulder. Rob slowly placed his hands on Brad's back, hugged him back.

"I'm important to you?" Rob's voice was small, Brad almost missed it.

"Of course you are! What do you think about those 18 years huh?!" Brad shifted back frowned, looking at Rob concerned. "You're precious to me and your friends, families, too! I don't want you to... go with him when we're still here for you..."

Rob felt a knot in his heart had loosened. He hugged Brad tightly, smiling. He was important to someone. Rob almost forgot that fact when seeing the end waiting for him. He could choose between living or not, but hearing Brad's crack in the middle of the sentence pulled him back to reality. He couldn't throw himself away so easily. Maybe Chester was so perfect that Rob forgot he was depressed. He hid it perfectly from everyone and only a few hours before the bad news Rob received a question from his friend.

Am I going to die?

Seeing the water, feeling air disappearing from his lungs made Rob shake. But Brad was here for him. Chester would always be in his mind, but not in a bad way.

He had to swim, not sink.

|-Fin-|