THE MOTED DUSTLIGHT SEEPED INTO THE ROOM brimming with silence and sorrow, the chinks in the blinds inviting it to shimmer like stardust of hope. Idle were Saifah's attempts to capture some of it though, his fingers flickering through the light-shafts as if playing an instrument. Hand stretched, he laid on his bed while the golden sunbeam remained as elusive as his thoughts, which lived no longer than the beat of his bleeding heart. He did not try to catch that other reflection, not this time at least. He actually preferred the way they floated, vague and undefined. There was no need to let any of those grim visions weigh on him more than they already did, although in the end, dodging them the entire day only infused his body with hollow numbness.

"Listen,"—Day popped his head in the door, his voice reaching through the density of Saifah's mood,—"I don't wanna throw you out of the house, but d'you have any intention of socializing ever again?"

With a soft puff, Saifah put his hand down. "Doubt it," he said, the pleasant pricking of the sun still palpable on his skin. He hoped that if he didn't glance over, his friend would disappear.

He was wrong.

"It's been three weeks, man." Day leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed. "You can't avoid Zon forever."

"I'm not avoiding him."

"Then when was the last time you two talked, eh?"

Silence. Saifah gritted his teeth, despite the answer being, 'not that long ago'. It was hard to call that one time he used work as an excuse not to meet, a proper conversation. Especially since it wasn't close to the truth.

"Zon aside," continued Day, "you barely leave home these days. I'm worried, man. You'd better go out with someone, distract yourself from all that mess." A gentle smile tugged at his lips as he added, "He isn't your only friend, you know?"

Saifah rubbed his face, a heavy sigh coming out of his mouth. "A-ha, so when do you want to bring Hwa home?"

"This Friday." If Day felt any shame for being seen right through, he hid it well. "It's her birthday, and—"

"Alright." Saifah clicked his tongue, putting a pillow over his head. "I won't be home."

"Cool, thanks." Not even pretending it was about something else, Day left the room, oblivious to Saifah's inward groan.

But despite his intentions, he was right—Saifah couldn't immure himself in his bedroom forever, no matter how cosy that cocoon of abeyance was. He wasn't even sure why he did it to himself. It was not like those three weeks of avoiding Zon had changed a thing. Neither did they make anything better, nor did they bring any possibility of an outcome that he hadn't thought of already.

And—as he knew perfectly well—without talking to Zon, their relationship was like Schrödinger's cat; yet not dead, but also not thriving. Not that it would've or could've ever thrived; he wasn't a fool.

Plus, he did not ca—

Saifah frowned, pursing his lips.

He did not—

He huffed, irritated. Ugh, he couldn't lie about it even to himself! Of course, he cared; that was the whole issue. He cared about Zon way too much, in a way that he was not supposed to, and now, after the break he had forced onto himself to avoid his own decision, the certainty of those feelings had become only stronger.

As if he wasn't doomed already.

The kettle bubbled in the kitchen, snapping him out of his thoughts. Day prepared himself a coffee and a meal before his night shift, and that made Saifah crave instant noodles too—anything to drown out those voices in his head, as he texted Zon to ask if he was free on Friday.

"Have you sent out those resumes yet?" Day asked his question as soon as Saifah dived into the cupboard for a pack of YumYum.

Maybe he should have waited for him to leave for work first.

"Not yet." He tore off the lid to avoid Day's judging eyes. "I still need to tweak some stuff."

"The sooner, the better, man."

"I know. I'm almost done."

That was a lie, honestly. He had it done for some time already, the file waiting to be used ever since his current work had started to bug him, which was more than a year ago. He had never had the guts to do something about it, and now he wasn't any better, still paralysed by the same fear. The difference was, he finally made a firm decision to change that state and actually look for something else—one step at a time, right? Plus, considering that he had told Day about his plan, the next one would occur sooner rather than later or else he would be driven up the wall with the constant questions of his roommate.

Not to mention, he really could use some change in his life, especially now.

When Saifah was back in his room, cup noodles in his hand, his phone pinged with a new message. Weirdly, he did not feel thrilled to check it. He missed Zon, of course he did, and even if not seeing each other for a few weeks wasn't anything new or weird, it felt abnormal at the same time. Despite that, however, thinking of meeting Zon made him rather anxious. He wasn't yet ready to break his own heart and possibly lose a friend.

"Finally!" Zon's messages popped on the screen one by one. "Your work really sucks. Sure I'm free. I'd cancel my plans even if I had some, just to meet with your stupid face."

Saifah's fingers clenched around the device, his expression hardened. It was odd how one revelation unlocked two decisions about his life at once—first, about a new job, and second, about ending things with Zon.

He came to that conclusion nearly the moment he realised his feelings. Even though he enjoyed what they had, that clear-cut sexual deal, it was for the best, for both of them. Technically, there were three potential outcomes—one ideal, one plausible, and one out of the question, but Saifah had no delusions for a happy ending; not when Zon was not yet over Neo. Things might have started to shift, that was true, but it was obvious Zon still needed to process some things, and Saifah was sure—more than anything else—that having with Zon what Zon had with Neo was the last thing he wanted. Not if that meant a possibility of growing bitter about him one day; he cherished Zon as a friend way too much.

All those reflections left Saifah with only one solution, and if Zon would be up for it, he hoped to maintain their friendship as intact as possible. Even if first, he would need some time—a bit more than those three weeks—to grieve over the closest thing to romance he could experience.

In a way, it was still unbelievable to him that he had fallen for Zon, maddening even. Not because of the feelings themselves; that only made him bitter-happy. He couldn't understand why it had to be someone with whom he was in a sexual agreement with, the last person he should've had feelings for. After so many relationships that had bitten the dust where no feelings awoke, he had never thought it might happen. Why would he, if the odds were extremely low?

But perhaps, that was precisely what allowed Saifah's feelings to bloom for the first time ever; that lack of pressure he had felt around anyone else. With Zon, it never was about a potential relationship; their sexual attraction and the growing friendship matured at their own pace, unobtrusive, like a dough left to rise overnight.

It hadn't been overnight, however; it had been slow and steady, and now, looking back at it, Saifah saw how his fondness for Zon was changing. He was just too focused on finding his goal to notice that he had gotten to it already, only in a form that he did not expect.

The sun was buried behind the horizon when Saifah came closer to the window, only the last strokes of daylight crossing the sky. This time, he did not seek any more sun rays to catch, but some stars to look at. Which—just as he expected—were nowhere to be seen.

With a soft huff, he placed his forehead on the window, his eyes closed. Maybe in some other timeline, as Zon would have said, a relationship between the two would have been possible; who knew. Saifah really wished to believe that, even if in this one, he had little luck when it came to love, and nothing would change that.

Still, if he had found a person he wanted to be with once, chances were that he would again, right?

Friday afternoon came, bringing back all the mixed feelings Saifah had had before. He stood in front of Zon's condo and, dazzled by a sudden realisation, clenched the keys to those black doors.

It was the last time that he would use them, he thought. Never again would he use those keys, never again would he have a splinter from Zon's headboard, and never again would he use Zon's weirdly smelling shower gel that made its owner smell so incredibly well. But what pincushioned his heart with hundreds of needles was that never again would they be so intimately close—body-wise or not—and that was okay.

It had to be.

Saifah knew it was his decision, and he was all ready for that; it just didn't soften the pain at all. On the contrary, when he detached the green-tag keys from his own, his heart wrenched, making it feel like preparation for a bigger heartache—the one that was about to hit him after the rejection.

Taking a deep breath, in one swift move, Saifah put the keys in the keyhole. As it turned out, he didn't have to—the door was open, anyway.

He entered the condo with the words he had kept rehearsing escaping his mouth, "Zon, I need to—"

His voice broke as soon as the view clicked in his brain. Stuffy gloom buzzed in the dimness of the room, a pack of cigarettes was piled in front of Zon in shreds, and the water harmonized a lonely tap with the following tap-tap right at the bottom of the kitchen sink.

"Finally, you're here." Zon's voice—full of relief and cotton-like soft—hit Saifah with an unexpected haziness. He didn't like the way it sounded, not even a faint smile on the other man's face could've made it better.

"What happened...?" he asked.

"Nothin'." Zon waved his hand, sniffing. "I did some push-ups, my eyes sweated..."

"Yeah, as if." He settled next to him at the foot of the bed, the floor chilly under his fingers. "What did he do...?"

"Does it matter?" Zon's head nestled on his shoulder, a touch that turned Saifah's veins into an ice-cold rill and molten lava at the same time. "It's always the same old stuff, a wedding and being a dick, yada-yada...who cares?" He shrugged, grazing Saifah's knee. "I'm happy you're here, though."

In an instant, all the will Saifah had for ending things subsided, his eyes closed. He didn't need to be a fortune teller to read the other man's mood, and while seeing Zon sad over Neo was unbearable, thinking of Zon having to deal with it on his own seemed only harder. He just couldn't leave him, not now, not yet...

Placing his fingers on Zon's head, Saifah drew him closer, his eyes fixed on the hand lingering on his thigh. The silence boomed along with the pounding of his heart, his whole body vibrating with Zon's proximity. There was a level of trust he couldn't deny, a connection they had that kept him rooted in place. But wasn't it silly to enjoy it the way he did, when it was nowhere close to what he now wished it to be?

Zon brushed his nose along the crook of his neck, his fingers pressing into the thigh a bit harder. "You didn't use your cologne..." he noticed.

"Ah yeah, I forgot—" Saifah's voice hitched as a few kisses were peppered on his neck, Zon deeply inhaling his scent. "Zon." He put his hands on the other's shoulders to stop him, but before he managed, their lips met, and Saifah no longer knew what he was so resistant about.

It was just a peck, a few seconds of their mouths touching, after which Zon set his dark eyes on Saifah's and said, "Next time you disappear, don't disappear from me."

Some wires in Saifah's brain must have suffered a short circuit because, while the sentence made little sense, when Zon found his lips again, only one thought shone in his mind as bright as the neons at night.

He had missed him.

Saifah pressed Zon's body to his own, their mouths melted. Whatever his initial plan was, it was long forgotten. Drunk on Zon's minty breath, he felt like a castaway after weeks in the desert, Zon's lips the oasis he had found. He longed for those kisses; he longed for Zon. Until now, he wasn't even aware how badly so. But what he had longed for, even more than the physical aspect, was to be in Zon's focus again, no one else in sight.

His back hit the floor, Zon on top of him. His mind kept spinning, the yearning fighting his senses. He knew that it was a bad idea; he knew that he had to stop. Instead of nibbling Zon's earlobe, he should've told him the truth, tell him about Dew, he should've ignored the tingles he felt all over his body, ignore the thought that despite being reconciled with the idea of losing Zon, he was again in his arms, needing Saifah as much as Saifah needed him, his hands, his lips, his thighs, his—

Suddenly, it was all over, yet it wasn't him who had stopped it. Zon's forehead fell on his shoulder, followed by a heavy groan. "Shit, my head's about to explode," he whispered, glancing down at their bodies. "I'm so sorry, Sai."

"It's fine." He rubbed his face, screaming in his head.

Thank the headache! How reckless was he to be driven by his...what, lust? emotions? feelings for Zon? Maybe fate was more merciful than he had thought since he didn't have the actual strength to stop them himself. At least they didn't pass the point of making out; otherwise, he would have regretted it quite a lot.

Swept over with relief, Saifah glanced at the pale smile Zon sent him before going for a painkiller.

"You really should stop contacting Neo," he said, adjusting his tight jeans. His stomach churned when he added to himself, 'And I should stop seeing you.'

"I know." Zon motioned him to move over the bed and lay by his side. "And I will. After the wedding."

Their eyes met, and Saifah nodded, the words 'after the wedding' ringing in his ears. Would he? Would he really? Some silly part of him started to believe there was a chance for them, that once Zon would cut himself off from his past love, he would be ready for a relationship with someone else, and if that someone would happen to be Saifah...

A shrill of hope rushed down his spine, only to die as soon as his sensible side reminded him why he had come here in the first place.

"On my last date—" Saifah cleared his throat which was stuffed with the words he was about to say. "On my last date, I...I broke my code."

In a flash, the room got dense from the still silence, Zon's hand weighing on his chest. It felt as if time had stopped, dragging on forever, and even their breaths became unhearable until Zon opened his mouth with a strangely restrained, 'Oh.'

"Oh. Wow," he repeated. "I—"

"I'm sorry, Zon; I was going to say that earlier, but—"

"No, no, stop." Zon took his hand, making Saifah realise it wasn't what had felt heavy on his chest the whole time. In fact, now, he only felt worse. "You don't owe me anything. You can sleep with whomever you want; it's not like—" Zon scoffed. "Damn, they must've been smokin' hot if you went for it, huh?"

"No, it's not—"

"Wait, does it mean our deal is o—?"

"No!" Saifah's rapid reaction surprised even him. "I mean, it only made me sure it was a mistake; I never should've...I—"

Zon's dimples flickered at the corner of his lips as a response to what he heard. "Alright. Next time, just tell me about it before we're about to fuck. I don't want to—"

"There won't be," Saifah cut in. "A next time, I mean." He couldn't believe his own words. Didn't he come here to break off the deal? Maybe at first, he did, but now, all he had in his head was, "As long as we're sex friends, I won't sleep with anyone else."

It took Zon a few surprised blinks before a soft smile showed back on his face. "Well, same. But you know it."

Everything in Zon seemed content with it, but Saifah wasn't sure if he felt the same. After all, that was exactly what he had tried to avoid, carrying on with their pact when he knew about his feelings. At least, he could've said they were exclusive without even being in a relationship, huh? Not that it made it any better.

In fact, it made it only more ridiculous.

"Ugh, can we stay silent until my pill kicks in?" asked Zon, rubbing his temples.

"Yeah. Sure." Saifah turned off the desk lamp and got rid of his jeans, throwing them on the nearby chair. At first, he thought they would just lie down, Zon with his back to him, but as soon as he slid under the sheet, Zon reached for his hand and pulled him closer; so close there was now no space between them, only a thin lid of warmth and a racing heart.

"Sorry," whispered Zon, holding him still.

"It's okay." Even though his chest swelled with bitter-sweet pain, Saifah had to admit it really was; it was perfect. Precisely what he had always yearned so badly for.

"I must confess." Zon shifted, closing the space between them more. "When I said I don't like snuggles, I lied. I just didn't want to sleep with you in one bed."

"Yeah, I figured." He scoffed.

He buried his nose in Zon's shoulder, his breath caressing Zon's cheek. It didn't matter at the time when they hadn't even known each other, but now, cuddling and comforting Zon in pain was like a dream come true. Everything he had expected from the relationship he had with Zon; he had a person for whom he had feelings for, he could have kissed him, had sex with him, shared all his worries and happiness, and spent as much time together as he ever wanted. The only exception was that he couldn't yet tell him his feelings, but...

Wasn't it good enough?

Wasn't it good enough, just for now?

He still hated that he had gotten himself into that situation, but it was not like they would stay like this forever—Saifah had already decided to confess, plus, he wasn't Zon, and Zon wasn't Neo. He just had to wait, observe, and find a good timing...maybe after the wedding, who knew? From all he knew, Zon wanted a relationship too, so why couldn't it be with Saifah, right?

Biting his lip, he hugged Zon tighter and pressed his mouth to that soft spot behind Zon's ear. In a way, now, he could understand how Zon had ended up in the same mess with Neo, he really could—his steady breath and the fact that he sought Saifah's cuddles were like a glimpse of hope.

Hope that he really wished not to be false.

***

Saying that being in Saifah's arms didn't feel like bliss would be a lie for Zon. On the contrary, with the man's touch having the effect of a soothing compress for his headache, he could've stayed like this forever. He liked Saifah; that was a fact. That being said, he also knew this crush wouldn't last, just like any other in the past. He had experienced it so many times before, with people he was in a relationship with and with those crushes he had never acted on. No matter how strongly he had felt about someone at first, it always faded in favour of Neo, and he had no doubts that with Saifah, it would be the same.

It was a risk he didn't want to take, the reason he kept it to himself. Out of all his romances, only the one with Zen had survived as friendship, not to mention that Saifah looked for actual feelings, not a relationship with a time bomb on it. In all honesty, Zon wasn't sure if he would want it either; their pact was enough as it was—at least for now.

But precisely because they had become so close, precisely because they had that sexual relationship, that whole crush seemed like a potential threat. Of course, all that wouldn't be a problem if they were strangers—then Zon could thirst over Saifah in secret, and that would be it. Yet, just as he had expected, it brought up a new spectrum of feelings that he wasn't supposed to have.

Starting with the satisfaction that Saifah preferred to spend his time with him instead of hitting on someone else, Zon had become more and more pleased to learn about the dates that didn't work out. He was aware it wasn't right, yet he couldn't help it—Saifah coming to his place whenever it happened only fueled the whispers wishing for his other dates to fail, too.

But not only did Zon want Saifah to succeed later rather than sooner, he also couldn't—or rather didn't want to—imagine the day Saifah would settle for someone. What kind of person would that even be, he wondered. What kind of person would smite Saifah so badly he would decide to make a move? Zon tried not to feel jealous over the image that differed from him greatly; he already felt way too relieved that Saifah didn't plan to end their pact.

And what did Saifah mean by saying it was a mistake to sleep with his date? Was it bad? Did the person call, hoping for more? Well, Saifah was hot, and sex with him was good; Zon wouldn't be surprised if they did. But what was so special about them to make Saifah break his code?

An odd uneasiness stirred in his heart as he frowned.

Why did it even bug him so much? It made no sense. He didn't mind that Saifah had slept with someone else, not really at least—if he did, he would be a hypocrite after suggesting it so many times himself. But as he laid in the tenacious darkness, he couldn't get rid of the speck of panic that started a tick-tock sound at the back of his head.

And then he understood—it was not about why, but how soon. If one person had made Saifah break his code, then soon there could be another, he thought; someone whom Saifah would actually want to be with, ending their pact as if it had never been. And if that "soon" was sooner than he had thought...

The chilling squall of an inevitable end rushed over him with the speed of light. At once, Saifah's closeness and warmth stopped being enough, a fear that was incomprehensible and confounding raging in his heart like a storm. Why did it feel like he didn't want it to happen? He should've cheered Saifah on; heck, he had until today! He knew oh so well that it was only temporary; he knew that one day either one of them would reach his goal and end that aspect of their relationship, and yet...

Yet, he really didn't want it to end.

He knew that it was selfish, and he knew that it was not an option. Although he hated changes, and the universe only knew how much he got used to Saifah's presence, he would never stop Saifah from gaining his own happiness. If only he knew for sure that his feelings for Neo would never eclipse the ones he had for Saifah...

Well, then there was still the fact that Saifah most likely wouldn't be interested.

Zon sighed, brushing the fingers he held. Unexpectedly, their agreement started to feel like a subscription, a free trial that he should make the most out of before it expired. After all, was it really a crime to enjoy their pact as long as it lasted? Was it silly to want it for as long as possible?

Wait. Zon's heart sped up as Saifah's nose touched his neck. Maybe he really should take advantage of their pact, he thought. It wouldn't be exactly fair, but it was not like he would force anything on Saifah or take more than he had offered already, either. He would simply—and as much as possible—enjoy the time they had left in order to never regret anything once it was over.

And when Saifah would be happy with someone else, whomever and whenever it would be, Zon would have those small memories hidden deep down his heart. Memories of the moments like the one they had right now.

A loud snort escaped Zon's mouth as he snapped his eyes open. Drool dripped down his chin, and his mind, although free from the headache, was now clouded with drowsiness and confusion. What, when, how...? He wiped the saliva off and looked around, slowly coming to his senses.

"Shit. I fell asleep, didn't I?"

"Yup, for about forty minutes."

Saifah, whose chest, for an unknown reason, served Zon as a pillow, put his phone down and smiled. Luckily, he seemed more amused than annoyed, and his hand—the one he didn't use for scrolling—was gently caressing Zon's head the whole time.

Zon pondered why.

Instead, he asked, "Why didn't you go?"

"Didn't want to without a goodbye."

"You could've woken me up then."

"But,"—Saifah looked at him with an odd glint—"you had a headache, right?"

It was the way he had said that—the stress he had put on the sentence—that made the whole thing sound like the most obvious and common manner. Like something that everyone on Earth would—without a hint of hesitation—do.

And for that, Zon wanted to kiss him.

"Man!" Saifah stretched his full lips into a cheeky grin. "Though, now I get why you don't want to sleep with anyone around. Your snoring? Phew! I bet it was heard in the ne—"

His words were silenced by a light peck Zon had pressed on his lips, the lump in Zon's chest growing. "Shut up," he murmured.

"I was only half jo—"

He stole another kiss, by no means trying to shush Saifah's teasing. He didn't care about that, not in the slightest. What he did care for, however, was how warm he felt inside. When was the last time he had let himself act on his crush? When was the last time he had felt such pure and unhindered joy?

Their lips brushed, and their eyes closed. This time it was Saifah who held their kiss, his fingers on Zon's cheek, and Zon couldn't help but smile. The fluttering in his chest intensified. It was the lump that started to bloom, his insides full of the anemones of glee—anemones that opened at Saifah's presence and his presence only.

"I should go." Saifah slowly pulled away, still stroking his arm. "You're up, and I'm...and...so...yeah, it's time, I guess."

"I guess..." repeated Zon with a sigh. "I'm sorry it turned out like...this. It's been so long since we saw each other, and yet we haven't even talked properly."

"Nah, it's okay. It was good to see you, anyway."

Their eyes met, and Zon sensed there was more to what he was about to say, the tension cracking in the air. Whatever it was, however, it never got spoken, and both of them opened their mouths only to close them a second later.

"Alright..." Sucking on his teeth, Saifah finally got up and gathered his stuff while Zon passively observed his moves.

The hush that fell over, hugged them into a tight embrace of awkwardness. Something that Zon was not used to; not with Saifah, that was.

"Hey, Sai." As he was about to leave, Zon stopped him mid-walk. "I know you were busy with work, but next time, find some time for me anyway, okay?" Zon knew his voice was laced with demands that he had no rights to, but since he had noticed the end of their pact coming, since he had seen it lurking just around the corner, he knew there was no more time for mincing his words. Not anymore.

Saifah arched his eyebrows in a mocking demeanour, making Zon's face brighten too. "Why? You missed me?"

That cheeky asshole.

"You bet," Zon said, grinning. "I missed that cockiness of yours."

He had expected for Saifah to retort with a teasing comment, but instead, the man's face fell ever so slightly, his voice suddenly deadpan. "I missed your sarcastic ass, too," he said with a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

Or, at least, that was how it felt for Zon.

Lune crooks their head and smiles. Observing Solaris always made them happy, but watching them struggle with laces only adds to that joy an extra spice. "Hey," they start abruptly. "I know we weren't always seeing eye to eye, but we are friends, right?"

Solaris raises their head, frowning, but Lune doesn't wait for his answer. "'I ask because if we are, I don't get why I still don't know your planetary name." They smirk at the roll of Solaris' eyes and chuckle. "Unless...! It's something corny, isn't it? Just admit it's something bad, something really, really—"

They don't finish, suddenly irritated at the glance Solaris takes to the side. Why aren't they paying attention? They didn't even notice the sentence had never ended. Trying to get their focus back, Lune clears their throat, but what they receive is an irritated, "Shh—"

"Don't you try to shush me!" They scoff. "I get it's not exactly—Ouch!" They gasp as their body slams against the wall, Solaris' hand muffling the rest of the words.

If being pressed by Solaris' chest wasn't enough of a message, Solaris makes sure that Lune gets it, their eyes shooting arrows in a silent 'Shut up.' They stare at each other with the rising tension, the approaching voices and the staccato of steps quickening their heart rate. Two people. One pair of high heels. Cone ones, if Lune has to guess.

"Have you found the machine yet?" asks the first voice. Low, gruff, and older. Lune is convinced it's the principal.

"No," replies the other. An unknown one. "But the records have to be utilized this month. We can't afford any more to leak..."

"That's not your concern, Doctor. As long as we have the REM, we can do it anyway."

The voices gradually fade down the corridor, Lune and Solaris safe in their hideout. Neither dares to move even an inch, however, Lune's eyes slide over the colourful strokes on Solaris' cheek. They know they should be more concerned about those voices, but at this very moment, they don't care. The light that is cast upon them through the stained glass brings out the gold of Solaris' skin, mesmerising them with the glitter of red, green and blue. That's what they care about; this and whose heart beats so fast—Solaris' or theirs.

As Zon's eyes reached the end of the paragraph, his brows drew together. Weird. He pursed his lips and, sliding his fingers inside the sock, scratched his ankle. Although a pleasant sensation, it didn't relieve the itching at all; not the one he felt in his mind.

He swirled on his chair, and then one...two...three more times. It wasn't the best piece he had ever written, both style and plot-wise, but it was not what bothered him right now. Still, it had to be something with the writing, didn't it?

Rubbing the back of his head, Zon reached for the phone. 'It's 2 PM, workday, he should be in the office,' he thought, and, a moment later, Zen's weary voice answered the call. "What's wrong?"

"So I've been writing—" Zon started immediately.

"As you should."

"And I got that thought..."

"A-ha?"

"And..." He bit his lip. "Don't you think Lune has changed? Somewhere along the way? But, like, not the character's change way, not the growth change, but, like, er...Overall. Like I've changed his personality when writing, and now he is more confide—"

"No." The curt and firm answer threw Zon out of his rhythm. "Zon, no. Just...no."

He frowned. No? "Whaddya—"

"I know what you're up to," Zen barged in, "and I won't allow it. No editing until you finish the whole story."

"But..."

"Uh-uh." Zen didn't even try to listen, letting some weird edge show in his voice. "All the chapters you've sent to me are closed for you. Understood? Sealed and in the vault. Only once you finish and give me the last chapter can you revisit them and do whatever you want with it. But not until then. Am I understood?"

Zon blinked. It was the first time he heard Zen so adamant, so he wasn't sure how to react, but for a brief second, he had felt like his own character. Silenced.

He pouted his lips and whimpered, "But Zen..."

"No buts."

"But..."

"No."

"Buuuut!"

"But?"

"Butt."

"Butt?"

Zon hesitated. "Butt."

For over half a minute, there was only the stretching silence, and Zon could've sworn Zen was trying to hold his shit together. Not for long. Soon, a loud snort-snicker akin to a choking huff burst out of the phone speaker, followed by a more strained, "You give so much butts these days, you have a one-track mind, I swear."

"And who says tha—I mean, I've no idea whaddya mean; I only said 'but.'" Zon giggled, feeling like a child, but he wasn't the only one—Zen laughed just as much.

"Anyway," said Zen, still coughing up his laughter. "Don't worry about the story for now, alright? Lune changed? Great. Go with it, if it's working. Adjustments can be made later, hm?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Zon rolled his eyes.

"Great. Now, get back to writing, and, fingers crossed, you collect that glitter slime out of your ear every morning."

"Wow. You read my book way too many times if you say that." He shook his head, amused.

"Mayhap. Question is, is it willingly?" There was a brief pause before Zen added, "Alright, gotta go for real. I still have some work to do—you too—and I'm having dinner with my parents tonight."

"Oh shoot, good luck with that!" Zon winced, knowing how his friend felt about it. "Same place as always?"

"You bet," groaned Zen. "Ugh. When was the last time they opened up to something new, eh? 'Cause not during my lifetime."

"If you need to talk, just call."

"I know. Thanks."

Once again, Zon wished his friend a lot of patience and cut the call, swinging his chair for the millionth time today.

Huh. Overall, Zen wasn't wrong about Lune's character, but there was still something that bugged Zon nonetheless. Maybe it wasn't about the writing? But then, what could it be about? He shook his head, trying to brush it off. He didn't have time for this.

Suddenly, though—because of Zen's words—he felt like eating outside. Just in better company than Zen's parents, and maybe some ramen instead of a fancy restaurant for old pricks.

He reached for his phone, this time dialling someone else.

"You're calling? That's new."

Zon smiled, hearing Saifah's voice, and leaned on the chair. "Shut up. It's quicker." He checked the time. "Aren't you at work?"

"Aren't you the one who's calling?" countered Saifah, laughing. "And I am; on break. Why?"

"Thought we could grab something to eat later. Ramen, maybe?"

"Sure. Yeah. Gladly." Saifah seemed surprised, judging by his voice, but Zon hoped it was a pleasant one—because he was definitely pleased with Saifah's answer. "I've heard Seishun is good."

"You mean Seiun?" Zon chuckled, correcting the name of the restaurant. "Yeah, no. I mean, yes. It is good." It was his favourite, the one he used to go with Neo. "But let's go somewhere neither of us has been before, okay?"

For some reason, it seemed inappropriate to Zon to go there with Saifah, and—thinking of it—he had never given a shot to any other ramen place in the city. He was just stuck with the one he had found out with Neo, and never even thought about changing to a new place; too many memories, a food too good...But who knew, maybe he was wrong all along, and there was another one; one that he would like more than Seiun if only given a chance?

Zon smiled, oddly optimistic. He felt excited to discover new places with Saifah, even if the one they would check today wouldn't be perfect. If not this one, there were still a whole lot of others they could try some other time—after all, who said that the first time needed to be the charm?

~ · ~

AUTHOR'S NOTE
So I'm back with another chapter and I hope y'all can forgive me it took SO LONG. No excuses, just an apology. And I really hope it was worth all the wait, especially that it wasn't easy to write this one. I'm still not sure if I managed to convey all the emotions and thoughts as I wanted them, to be honest. So please, tell me your opinions on how it worked out for you! This was probably the most important chapter in the story, so I really wanted for it to work out. Maybe even to leave some impact...

Anyway, the next chapter will be lighter than the last two as we get into a new arc of this story, and all I can say is I really appreciate everyone reading this. Your feedback is what makes me keep going, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

PS. The name of the Japanese restaurant was chosen quite thoughtfully, both the actual one and the mistake Saifah had made. If anyone is interested in what it had mean... ;)

PLAYLIST:
Key, Taeyeon: "Hate That"
Ben Platt: "I wanna love you but I don't"
Thom Yorke: "Hearing Damage"
alt-J: "Taro", "Nara", "Something Good"
Bon Iver: "Rosyln"
Taemin: "If I could tell you", "Sad Kids", "Strings"