Song: Dusk Till Dawn- Zayn ft. Sia

Black

Aligaga kong inayos ang aking lamesa. Hindi ko na talaga maintindihan kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.

Parang kanina lang, wala akong pakialam kung makalat na 'yung lamesa ko. Tapos ngayon dali-dali kong inaalis lahat ng mga kalat!

When I felt him entered the room, nagkunwari akong busy. Nag-angat ako ng tingin at kunwaring nagulat nang makita siya rito.

Damn you, Margaux! Bakit ka magugulat? He knows that Erin informs you about who's the next soldier tapos bigla kang mag-aacting ng parang nagulat?

Kinuyom ko ang aking kamay sa katangahang taglay. Walang emosyon siyang lumapit. He was waiting for me to instruct him something. Pero hindi ko na naisip pa ang sunod kong ginawa. Wala sa sarili ko siyang iginiya sa medical bed.

Wala ni-isa sa mga inexamine ko kanina ang pinaupo ko rito. Tanging siya lang. My goodness, Margaux! What is happening to you? Ipagpaliban mo muna 'yang feelings mo sakanya. You need to focus on your work!

Sumunod naman siya sa akin at naupo sa medical bed. He was watching my every move. He didn't know that whenever he does that, I'm panicking inside. Bigla akong naguguluhan sa dapat ko bang gawin.

I was so calm before his turn! What happened now?

"Uhh... Hi!" bati ko sakanya, acting like everything's okay. Nagkukunwari na hindi naghuhurumentado 'tong puso ko.

"Hi." Plain niyang pagkakabati.

Sa tono ng kanyang pananalita, it made me regret greeting him. Sana nanahimik nalang pala ako kung sobrang plain niya rin naman pala magreply.

E, ano bang gusto mong gawin niya? Yakapin ako as a sign of greeting?! Tumalikod ako sakanya at napapikit nalang. Lagi ko nalang talagang nilalabanan ang sarili ko pag dating sakanya!

Lumapit ako sa aking lamesa upang kunin na ang aking gagamitin para sa pag-eexamine sakanya. This is the first time I will see his medical record. Tignan natin kung may history ba siya ng sakit. When I opened it, nagulat ako sa aking nakita.

"You already had four surgeries?!"

Parang wala lang sakanya ang sinabi ko. Para sa isang sundalo, normal na para sakanila ang ganitong tagpo. Pero para sa akin, hindi.

If all these surgeries are because of a bullet, then it's bad. It leaves an internal damage on his body.

Dali-dali ko namang kinuha ang mga test tubes sa aking lamesa at mabilis na inilapag ito sa kanyang tabi. I checked his medical records again. Binasa isa-isa ang report tungkol sa surgery na natanggap na niya.

Yes. They are all indeed because of a gunshot. He received four surgeries because he was already shot a lot times! He really needs to be very careful kung hindi, magkakaroon na talaga ng serious damage sa kanyang katawan.

Bullets ruins some parts of our skin and tissue. Kahit ba may bulletproof vest siya, there are some vest that couldn't handle a certain bullet. Tiningnan ko siya at umiling.

"This is bad, Jaxon." Malamig niya akong tiningnan pabalik.

"I know..."

I sighed in defeat. Alam ko namang kahit sabihin ko sakanya na mag-ingat siya, hindi parin maiiwasan ang ganong pangyayari lalong lalo na sa trabahong meron siya. He's exposed to wars. To bombs... guns... everything!

Exposed siya sa mga bagay na maaaring kumuha ng buhay niya. I thought about my Dad. How did he survive the army without getting killed? How did he manage to go on every single day knowing that it may be his last day?

Everyday is their last day for soldiers, that's what some soldiers told me.

"Okay..." I tried to change the topic. "So, did you feel sick this week?" I waited for his answer. But instead, what I got from him is a stare.

A stare that will always makes me want to look away. Bukod sa pagiging intimidating nito, I don't think I could last long with staring at him back. Baka ako pa ang matalo.

"Hmm?" I asked again. Pretending that I was reading his medical records kahit na kanina ko pa tapos itong basahin.

"No." simple niyang sagot. Tumango ako at kinuha na ang test tube.

"I'm going t-to take some b-blood. Okay?" Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nagstutter. I really don't know why! Basta ang alam ko... sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

I let him roll up his sleeves until it reaches his forearm. I put the tourniquet around it when he's done para mas maging madali ang pagkuha ng dugo. I look for some veins but I couldn't see any. Hinawakan ko pa ito at sinubukang kapain ang kanyang ugat pero wala parin akong mahanap.

Tinagilid ko ang ulo ko at nauubusan na ng pasensya sa kakahanap para sa ugat niya. Nagulat nalang ako nang bigla niyang hinawakan ang aking kamay at siya na mismo ang nag-tusok nito sakanya.

I gasped. I did not expect him to do it. Nag-aalala akong tumingin sakanya.

"My vein is located here." Aniya. My mouth parted kaya agad nalang akong tumango.

"That is dangerous..." I whispered, referring to what he did a while ago.

"I know... But I've been into more dangerous things than poking myself with a needle." I glared at him. Nakita ko naman ang pag-ngisi niya. Nanatili lang akong nakatingin sakanya. Kung di niya pa sasabihin, hindi ko alam na di ko pa pala siya nakukuhanan ng dugo.

"Get the tube now." Paalala niya.

"Ah. O-Oh..." I blinked a lot of times.

Gosh! You embarrassed yourself again, Margaux!

Nang matapos ako ay nilagay ko na ang blood sample niya kasama ng mga iba pa. I want to get things done quickly but it seems like I'm stopping myself.

Gusto mo pa talagang patagalin ha? Hiyang-hiya ka na nga sa sarili mo.

Tumalikod ako sakanya upang ilapag ang mga kaninang ginamit ko sa lamesa ko. Kinuha ko naman ang vaccine para sa immune system niya. I tied my hair first kasi kanina pa ako ginagambala nito.

When I'm almost finish doing it, napaangat ako ng tingin kay Jaxon. He was staring intensely at me. Again! I looked away at nagtungo na sakanya. I asked him to remove his uniform para mas madaling iturok sa braso niya itong vaccine.

Bakit kasi naka all gear up siya? 'Yung iba nga naka white tshirt lang at military pants tapos combats boots. Tapos siya, complete uniform.

Kumbaga siya 'yung tipo ng estudyante na kahit may activity lang sa school, nakauniform parin.

"I'm going to vaccinate you. This is for your immune system." I informed him. Wala na siyang sinabi pa at hinayaan na akong gawin ang gusto ko.

He did not flinch or anything. Parang sanay na sanay na siya.

Tiningnan niya ito ng matapos. Kinuha niya naman ang kanyang uniporme ngunit nanatili siyang nakaupo sa medical bed. While I was busy writing down something on his medical record, he spoke.

"Thanks for the letter last night."

I stopped what I'm doing. I pressed my lips into a thin line and raised my gaze at him.

"It was a form of reply regarding to the one you sent." Sabi ko. Umangat ang gilid ng kanyang labi. Ngunit wala na siyang sinabi.

"Just a few reminders," I said. Para maiba na rin ang topic. "You have a history of undergoing four surgeries. It would be dangerous if you will undergo for another one. So, I suggest for you to be careful."

Tumango lamang siya at sinuot na ang kanyang uniporme. I feel like he's not taking it seriously.

"I mean it." I said.

He stopped what he's doing upang mag-angat ng tingin sa akin. Since nasabi ko na rin naman. Itutuloy ko na.

"I want you to be careful, Jaxon. I know you're smart and brave. But we cannot predict what will happen every time you go to war. I think it's always important to look out for yourself..." hindi niya inalis ang tingin sa akin. Nagpatuloy ako.

"And tomorrow is our scheduled day to go to the critical area. Alam kong lalaban ka ulit. And I want you to be careful," I stared at him back. "I don't want you hurt."

Siya ang unang nag-iwas ng tingin. Bumaba siya ng medical bed. Sinundan ko naman siya ng tingin. He fixed his uniform and turned to me.

"I want you to be careful, too." Aniya.

Tumitig lang ako sakanya. I didn't know that I still have the courage to stare back at him. Akala ko tuluyan nang nawala, e.

"Whenever I'm not around, I want you to be careful. I want you out of trouble. This is an order, Margaux. And I want you to take an order seriously." he continued.

"Is that an order from my father?" I can't help but ask. I wanna know if it's from him. Kasi kung hindi... I can no longer control this feeling.

"No," he replied. "That is an order from Captain Jaxon Alexander Ventura."

I did not reply for a while. I licked my lips at nagsalita na muli.

"Then, what I told you is an order, too. I mean it. I also want you to take it very seriously. You have to promise me."

"I cannot guarantee you anything." Aniya which actually broke my heart.

Some soldiers just couldn't keep a promise to stay alive. Because they don't know their fate. He already survived a lot of attacks. There will be a time that he can no longer handle it. That's why it is better to remind him to be careful now.

I know he wants to promise that he will make it out alive. But the battle here in Afghanistan is getting worse. Only prayers and courage can make us survive these attacks.

I remained quiet the whole ride of going to the critical area. Sa tuwing magagawi ang tingin ko sa rearview mirror, nahahagip ko ang tingin ni Jaxon. Then I will be the first one to look away. Ilang beses nangyari 'yun.

Hanggang sa makarating kami sa kinaroroonan. I gathered all my things at inilagay na rin sa aking baywang ang bag na naglalaman ng mga triage ribbon. Nakita ko namang may nag-abot sa akin ng isang hard hat. Tiningnan ko kung kanino galing ito.

Jaxon stood in front of me while reaching out the hard hat for me. Tiningnan ko ito sabay angat ng tingin sakanya. Kinuha ko ang hard hat sa kanyang kamay.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

Pagkatapos kong suotin ito ay lalakad na sana ako palayo upang umpisahan na ang rescue operation ngunit hinawakan niya ako sa aking palapulsuan. Agad akong napalingon sakanya.

"Be careful." Paalala niya. Tumango ako.

"You, too..." I hesitated for a moment kung sasabihin ko ba na hihintayin ko siya. But in the end, I gave in. "I'll wait for you."

I saw how his jaw clenched. Parang nagpipigil. Pero sa huli ay tumango nalang rin siya, then we parted ways.

Now, it's time for me to save lives. And it's time for him to sacrifice his life to save people.

I did not stay inside the tent the whole time. Minsan ay sumasama ako sa mga sundalo upang mas mabilis na mabigyan ng medication ang mga sibilyan. I heard that there has been another explosion on this area yesterday.

Kaya mas marami ang dinadala ngayon. Lumapit ako sa isang sundalo na may dala-dalang narescue na sibilyan. Lumuhod ako sa tabi niya. Mabilis kong nilabas ang aking mga gamit.

"Are you alright?" I asked the soldier. He nodded at me.

"This is the patient. He has an external bleeding. He has pulse but he is unconscious." Anito.

"He is in shock. I want you to supply him with oxygen. I'm just going to get my things ready." The soldier immediately followed me.

Mas marami pang naging ganong instance. I also gained some bruises dahil sa pag-sugod sa mga nasira na lugar. But it was nothing compared to the wounds that the patients have.

Sometimes, we will hear gunshots but the soldiers are quick enough to protect us. Minsan nga ay ginagamit nila ang kanilang sarili para maging human shield namin.

And I feel so bad...

Instead of thinking about their own lives... here they are serving for the country. Making themselves as a shield to protect people who needs to be saved.

Akala ko nung una matatapos ang araw na ito nang walang kaguluhan... but I was wrong. Akala ko sapat na para sa mga terorista na makarinig muna kami ng mga putok galing sa kanilang baril. Pero ang hindi namin alam na sa araw na ito...

Ay ang pinaplano nilang pag-sugod.

Sunod sunod na putok ng baril ang aming narinig. I immediately ran back to the tent. Pero nagulat nalang ako nang makita kong sira-sira na ito. The soldiers are quick to respond.

I stopped in my tracks nang makita ko na marami agad ang binawian ng buhay dahil sa pag-sugod ng mga terorista. Nagkalat ang mga wala ng buhay na katawan sa kinatatayuan ng tent kanina.

"The explosion happened near the tent! And there is a chance that there will be another one!" sigaw ng isa sa mga paramedic. No wonder why the tent looks like this. The terrorists really planned for this.

My mouth parted. I remember that I left some of my team inside the tent. I immediately panicked. I need to look for them.

I did not stop hanggang sa makakita ako ng isang pamilyar na mukha. Erin's head is bleeding. Kahit na nagdudugo na ang ulo ay nagawa niya paring umaksyon para sa isang pasyente. Agad akong nagtungo sakanya. Hinawakan ko ito upang makita. The cut is not that deep.

"I'm fine, Doc." Aniya.

"Nasaan ang iba? Are they okay?" nagpapanic kong tinanong. She slowly nodded.

"They are over there. Wala naman pong napuruhan sa amin." Tumango ako at tiningnan ang lugar na tinuturo niya.

"Get out of here now, Erin." Sabi ko at agad na tumawag ng sundalo para matulungan kaming dalhin ang sibilyan pabalik sa barracks. Pinuntahan ko agad ang lugar kung nasaan ang iba kong kasama.

But before I can even go there, I heard another explosion. Nagulat ako dito at napaupo nalang. Thank god it wasn't near me. Agad akong tumayo at dumiretso na doon.

I felt so relieved nang makita kong ligtas ang mga kasamahan ko. They gained some bruises. Ang iba ay katulad ng nangyari kay Erin. Hinanap ko si Ethan.

Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na hininga na matagpuan ko siya. Tumama rin naman agad ang mata niya sa akin at agad na tumayo upang magtungo sa akin. He crashed me into a tight hug.

"Margaux..." he whispered. "Thank god you're safe. I was looking for you the whole time."

"What happened?" tanong ko. Then they told me everything. Biglang sumagi naman sa isip ko si Jaxon.

Where is he? Is he safe? Nasaktan ba siya?

Naalala kong mayroon nga pala siyang iniabot na walkie talkie sa akin nung isang araw. I pressed the button that will help me reach him.

"Jaxon..." I said. Ilang ulit kong ginawa iyon. Hindi ako tumigil hanggang sa marinig ko ang kanyang boses.

"Margaux, where are you?" hingal niyang tanong.

Thank god, he's alive!

Napapikit ako. Thank you, Lord! Thank You for keeping Jaxon safe. Ang mga kasamahan ko dito ay nakatingin sa akin. Hindi ko na iyon pinansin pa. Mas pinagtuunan ko ng pansin ang kausap ko.

It seems like he's running. Agad kong sinagot ang tanong niya. I told him where we are. At wala pang ilang minuto ay agad silang dumating.

I'm glad that he's safe. Though, he did not promise me anything that he will make it out alive. Nagpapasalamat parin ako na nakikita ko siya ngayon. Agad na tumama ang tingin niya sa akin. He's with his troop.

He did not break his gaze kahit na may utos siyang binigay sa kanyang kasamahan. Then his troop immediately followed him. Everyone from his troop ay may kinuha mula sa aking team upang maidala na sa mas safe na lugar.

Hinawakan ako ni Ethan para hilahin na palayo sa lugar na ito.

"Let's go, Margaux." Aniya habang hawak hawak na siya ng isang sundalo. Hihilahin na niya sana ako palayo pero naunahan siya ni Jaxon.

"I'll take care of her." Anito.

Ethan hesistated for a moment pero sumuko rin nang mapagtanto na mas may kakayahan si Jaxon na protektahan ako.

"The car is already waiting outside. Bring them there as fast as you can." He ordered his troop then they saluted. He did the same.

Sabay sabay naman silang lumabas habang iginigiya ang iba kong kasamahan. Hanggang sa kaming dalawa nalang ang matira dito. Inangat ko ang tingin ko sakanya. Nakita kong may namumuong dugo sa kanyang uniporme. It was located on the back of his shoulder.

"You have a cut." Sabi ko.

"That is not important right now. I need to get you out of here." Agad niyang kinuha ang kamay ko.

We were running back patungo sa sasakyan na naghihintay sa amin nang makarinig ako ng sunod-sunod na putok.

Agad akong napatigil sa pagtakbo nang maramdaman ko ang pagbagsak ng taong promoprotekta sa akin. Agad akong napalingon sa duguang si Jaxon. He tried to stand up but I heard another gun shot. It aimed through his leg to stop him from standing up.

"Oh my god!" napatakip ako ng aking bibig. Agad ko siyang dinaluhan. Ngunit bago pa ako tuluyang makalapit ay naramdaman ko ang pagbaon ng isang bala sa aking balikat.

Nung una ay parang wala lang ito. Pero nang tumagal ay unti-unti ko nang nararamdaman ang sakit. Napaluhod ako ng di oras dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Margaux!" I heard Jaxon shouted. Tiningnan ko ang sugat ko sa aking balikat at kitang-kita na sobra sa pag-agos ng dugo ito.

I stood up again para daluhan siya. But he stopped me before I could do anything.

"No, Margaux! Go now!" utos niya. I tried to shake my head sa kabila ng pagkahilo.

Getting shot really shocked me. Masyado akong nanghihina pero pinipigilan ko ito dahil ayokong iwan si Jaxon ng mag-isa dito.

Ayokong iwan siyang duguan. I will not leave him alone.

I tried to move closer. And when I did, I kneeled in front of him to check him.

"Goodness Margaux, what are you doing!?" tanong niya. Tiningnan niya ako sa mata at sumunod naman sa aking sugat. "You're bleeding."

Hindi ko na pinansin pa iyon. Kahit na sugatan ay nagawa niya parin akong hilahin sa mas tagong lugar.

"Are you out of your mind?" he hissed.

"I will not leave you here!" I answered.

"You need to go now!"

"No!" Nakipagtalo ako. He cursed softly. He said something I couldn't even process dahil na rin sa sobrang panghihina ko.

I heard him groan in pain. I became alert because of it. Nilapitan ko siya pero ayaw niyang lumapit ako sakanya ng tuluyan.

"Someone's going to get you, okay?" kumunot ang noo ko sakanya.

Paano siya? Who will get him out of here? Mamaya maya pa ay dumating na ang tinutukoy niyang kukuha sa akin.

"Captain!" ani Axel.

"Bring her back to the base." Utos nito. Hinarap ko siya. Nag-aalala ko siyang tiningnan.

"What about you?" I asked. His mouth parted at tiningnan ako ng maigi.

"I'll be fine here."

"What? No! I will not leave you here!" umiling lang siya at sinenyasan na ang kasama.

"Be careful. She got shot." He ordered Axel. Axel nodded at him.

"Jaxon..." I whispered.

"Please, Margaux... just go." He pleaded.

"No! I'm not gonna leave you here."

"Margaux! Just go!" he shouted at me out of frustration.

I took a step back. Sobrang nakakatakot siyang magalit. My eyes widened a bit. I wanted to say something pero hindi ko magawa.

Hinawakan ako ni Axel sa aking braso at iginiya na para tuluyan na akong ilabas. Tiningnan kong muli si Jaxon. Napapikit na lamang siya sa sobrang sakit ng nararamdaman. Kitang-kita ko na rin ang panghihina niya.

You already survived four gunshot wounds, Jaxon. I'm sure you'll survive this, too. You have to, Jaxon... You have to... I wanted to tell him pero agad na akong nailayo ni Axel sakanya.

Lord... please don't let him die.

I sighed nang tuluyan na akong dalhin ni Axel sa base nila.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked. Then he nodded.

"Captain will. Don't worry, someone's going to get him as soon as possible." Sabi niya.

Gusto ko pa sanang magtanong ngunit naunahan na ako ng sugat ko. I screamed in pain. Ang ibang paramedics na naligtas ay lumapit sa akin. I figured out that my team got out of this place safe. Dahil hindi sila ang dumalo sa akin. I'm glad...

Damn this bullet wound! It hurts like a bitch!

Unti-unti na ring nanglalabo ang tingin ko. Hindi naman ako inaantok pero feeling ko sobrang kailangan ko nang matulog.

"Doc..." the nurse tried to make me stay awake. But it was too late.

Before she could even add more to that, I blacked out.