Chapter 32

My heart beat, which had spiked when the doctor walked into the waiting room, started to slow down to a regular pace as I let out the breath I was holding.

I realized that sometime over the last couple of seconds that my eyes had somehow slipped to the floor in relief before I refocused my gaze on the doctor. Seeing his lips moving, I shook my head quickly to snap myself out of the daze I had slipped into.

“Sorry,” I said apologetically, “What were you saying?”

The doctor, who looked seemingly unimpressed that I had interrupted him, shook his head in what looked like annoyance before starting his explanation over.

“It seems as though the car crash didn’t cause monumental or lasting damage on your mother’s body. The angle at which your mother’s arm was broken cause a bit of swelling to the surrounding muscles and ligaments, but when she in surgery we were able to reduce the swelling and re-break her bone in a position at which it could heal.” he explained, looking down at his notes once more before continuing. “The seatbelt seemed to have had a little more impact than we predicted, as we found a small amount of internal bleeding while she was under, but it was taken care of quickly and efficiently.”

“Finally, the fact that her legs were presumably squished by the impact of the other car was troubling, but we did all we could and it looks promising. She had little mobility of her legs when we examined her and on account of the small procedure we performed, the feeling and muscle control will come back to her slowly over the next couple of days.”

My face must have looked like I had just seen a ghost, but I think I had the excuse behind me. This old balding guy in front of me, who was a stranger to me up until the last five minutes of my life, was telling me that my mom had pretty much been damaged in her car accident, but he was trying to play it off as nothing to worry about in his monotone and uninterested voice.

I tried to stammer out a response; however, the doctor must have recognized my reaction and opened his mouth once more.

“Don’t worry about anything Miss. Hartley. As I said, your mother is going to be just fine.” he said. “She’ll probably be under the influence of the anesthetic we gave her for another hour or so, but after that she should wake up with little to no problems.”

“Can I go see her now then?” I asked as I got antsy. The double doors to the holding rooms were standing in my peripheral vision, and my hands started to fidget as my legs itched to move towards them.

Clicking his pen as he slipped it into his coat pocket, he shook his head, making my heart instantly deflate with disappointment. “She’s being moved to a more stable floor at the moment, but in about ten minutes you should be able to gain access to the room; room 218.”

Nodding in understanding, I uttered a quiet thank you towards the doctor before he retreated back through the doors he had come through, leaving me alone in the waiting room.

At least what I thought was alone…

A hand suddenly appeared on my shoulder, making me jump in shock as I turned around, only to see Olivia and Evan standing there with small and encouraging smiles on their faces.

“What are you guys still doing here?” I asked, my eyes widening slightly at the knowledge that they had stuck around after my cold-hearted outburst.

It seemed as though their minds were wired identically as their expressions changed simultaneously. Gone were their encouraging smiles and what appeared were looks of confusion and bewilderment.

“What do you mean ‘what are we still doing here?’” Olivia asked, removing her hand from my shoulder as she backed up slightly. “We’re here to support our friend in one of the worst times of her life. We aren’t going to let some meaningless heat-of-the-moment words affect us when we know you’re hurting.”

At that moment in time love and compassion filled my heart up as I realized I had met some of the best people in Avondale. They cared and they understood me, not giving up on me.

“Thanks guys,” I said softly, mustering up a small smile. “But you should really get going; it’s going on eleven ‘o’clock and I’m just gonna go sit in my mom’s room for the night.”

“Hopefully they’ll have a comfy chair or something.” I added jokingly as an afterthought, trying to lift the glooming mood of this waiting room.

“Are you sure you don’t want the ride home; to sleep in your own bed and then I’ll drive you back out here tomorrow?” Evan asked, looking concerned as he stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug.

As his arms pulled me into his chest, I sighed and relaxed into his hold, realizing that this was exactly what I needed at the moment – to be hugged.

Pulling back a couple seconds later, as to not make the situation awkward as Olivia was watching us; I shook my head in response. “No, it’s fine.” I replied. “Just take Olivia home and I’ll be fine here.”

“Are you sure?” Olivia asked, stepping up for her turn for a hug. “I doubt it would be a problem.”

“Seriously, I’ll be okay here for the night,” I repeated for the third and final time.

Two unnerving looks were sent my way one final time before I reassured them, yet again, that I would be just fine. It must have sunk in that I was being honest as they nodded slightly before saying goodbye as I promised to call at least one of them the next day.

Now, as I watched two of my friends round the corner and head towards the elevators and disappear from sight, my situation finally caught up to me once again.

I was tired, I was drained, and I probably looked like I had gone through the ringer, but my mom was going to be okay and, with that in mind, I headed down to the second floor.

When I reached the second floor it was quite obvious that it was more of a holding floor than an operating one as it was much busier than the one I had just come from. As I entered, I was immediately greeted with a friendly voice over the loud chatter that seemed to be coming from the other side of the room.

“Hi sweetie, what can I do for you?” a young nurse asked as she filled out something on the computer in front of her.

“Umm… I was just heading to room 218 to see my mom.” I replied nervously, as if I was scared what would happen if I said the wrong thing.

The nurse clicked a couple of things on the screen in front of her before looking back at me. “Are you looking for Wendy Hartley?” she asked, and when I nodded shyly, she continued. “She’s still being hooked up to some pain IVs and nursed for holding, but in five minutes you should be able to go straight down that hallway and about halfway down you’ll see room 218.”

I looked towards the hallway on my left that she had pointed to and nodded in understanding, and realizing that there was somebody in line behind me, I moved to the side with nothing to do for the next couple of minutes.

Looking aimlessly around the holding room I saw a bunch of crabby children, who looked around Fizzy’s age pulling at the pant legs of one very tired looking woman. Beside her sat a man, who I assumed to be her husband, with another child rested on his chest as both him and the child slept through the racket.

As I moved my gaze slightly, I focused on the horrifying sight in front of me. I was looking straight into a small mirror that was hung lazily on the wall, but the image that stared back at me was one I wish I didn’t see. My hair was messed up extremely, going from the high and perky ponytail that I had begun the night with to a crumpled mess of frizz at the base of my neck that looked to be hanging into the elastic by a thread. The small amount of make-up I had applied was completely smeared, leaving me with massive raccoon eyes, and with the bags under my eyes and the fact that they were still bloodshot from crying, I was surprised that the doctors and nurses weren’t calling the police in account of a crazy lunatic running amuck through the hospital halls.

Realizing I still had a couple of minutes to spare before seeing my mom, I used the signs that were plastered to the walls to direct me towards the bathroom.

Entering the bathroom, I was immediately greeted with my gruesome appearance once again as the mirror stretched the length of the entire wall. Walking up to the sink, I turned on the taps and let it warm up a bit before grabbing a paper towel and drenching the end. Using the damp paper towel, I tried to the best of my abilities to remove the unwanted makeup from my face, scrubbing vigorously under my eyes for a couple of seconds to rid my face of any raccoon-like qualities.

Once my face was somewhat presentable, because there was really nothing I could do about the bags or the fact that they were bloodshot, I brought my hands up to my hair, and painfully pulled my hair free of its elastic, only to be greeted with what looked like a lion’s mane. I quickly wet my hair slightly with my fingers before pulling the abundance of hair into a bun on the top of my head.

Leaving the restroom minutes later, I was refreshed as I could be as I made my way towards room 218. Following the directions the nurse had given me, it wasn’t that hard to locate the door to the room I was looking for, and the white board that read my mother’s name was a clear indicator that I had the right room.

Putting my hand on the metal door knob, I held my breath as I slowly turned it as I pushed open the door.

The scene that greeted me wasn’t one that I was ready for. My mom lay still in the bed, presumably still asleep due to the anesthetics, and looked like she had been put through the ringer over the past couple of hours.

There was a white plastered cast covering her left arm, reaching all the way from her fingers to below her elbow to help it heel, and due to the seatbelt that injured her upper left shoulder, there were layers of bandages wrapped around the operation sight and, presumably raw stitches that lay underneath them. Two IVs were inserted into her right arm, transferring a clear liquid, which I assumed to be pain medication, into her body to numb her body for when she woke up in an hour or so. Finally, there was also a blood bag hooked up to a stand beside her bed that had another IV running into her right hand, slowly replacing the blood that she had lost in the accident.

I slowly walked into the room, letting the door close behind me as I headed towards the single black chair that was situated to the left of her bed.

“Hey mom,” I said to her sleeping body as I clutched her still hand in mine. Seeing her sleeping in her hospital gown, hooked up to the IVs and wrapped in bandages, I felt tears start to build up in the corner of my eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay. When you wake up we’ll head home and I’ll cook you a nice meal like I used to. I’ll stay home on Friday nights with you and we’ll watch classic chick flicks; the ones that dad used to be so dead set against watching, but we’d always get our way in the end.”

“I just want you to wake up mom,” I begged out loud, with nobody listening but with hope that she could hear me. “I want you to be okay.”

The tears that had been piling up started to slowly fall as I leaned my head down to rest on the side of my mom’s bed.

Over the next half an hour, I remained pretty much silent. The only sounds that could be heard from me were occasional whimpers from my tears, and the odd sneeze or cough. A middle aged nurse came through the door twice, checking my mom’s pulse and reactions to the surgery. Even though I hadn’t spoken a word to her, I felt like screaming at her in frustration as every time she would glance in my direction, she would spare me a pitiful look, always accompanied by a head shake, before going back to her job.

Eventually the time and the events of the day got the best of me, and I ended up closing my eyes in exhaustion.

It felt as though something was scratching at my face, and when I moved my hand to shake the nuisance off, I realized that it wasn’t a nuisance at all. My eyes opened quickly as I realized I had fallen asleep in my mom’s hospital room – who was now lying awake as she looked at me in shock.

“Mom,” I whispered in disbelief, and when I realized that I wasn’t in a dream, but reality, I launched myself across the bed and wrapped my arms around her. “Mom!”

Instead of a laugh or a smile, I received a struggling wince in reply. Realizing the mistake I had just made, I jumped back into my seat with an apologetic look on my face as my mom readjusted herself on the bed.

“Sorry.” I said sheepishly, biting my lip in worry that I had hurt her.

“Don’t worry darling,” she replied, her voice raspy and raw. “But why am I in a hospital.”

I froze for a second, thinking for a minute that she didn’t remember the accident and she had received a form of amnesia that the doctors had forgot to mention. In haste, I pressed the button on the side of her bed to call the nurse, before looking back to her in shock.

“Do you really not remember?” I asked softly, worried that something had happened psychologically to my mother.

She was silent for a second, raising my worry, but before she could reply and reassure me nothing had happened to her brain, the nurse I had seen twice before I fell asleep came bustling into the room with her clipboard.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes rested on me. When my mom moved slightly, however, the nurse’s eyes snapped to her patient and she walked over to the bed. “Oh, hello Mrs. Hartley, I’m Jessica and I’ll be your nurse for the duration of time you’re here. Now, how are you feeling?”

“She can’t remember.” I replied for her, the concern and distress building as my gaze shifted between my mom and the nurse.

I saw a small amount of confusion fill the nurse’s eyes as she moved her gaze to my mother. “Is that true?” she asked, and this time, I didn’t interfere as I waited for my mom to reply.

“Can’t remember what?” my mom replied, making my heart beat faster in my chest.

“Your accident mom.” I said, releasing a breath of air as I hoped my words triggered something in her mind.

Immediately I could almost see my mom’s brain start to connect my words with the fact that she was currently in a hospital bed, and as I imagined the moments flashing before her eyes, I saw her come to the conclusion.

“Oh my god,” I heard her whisper under her voice. “The accident.”

“Ahh, I see you remember.” the nurse said, clicking her pen quickly before scribbling something down onto her clipboard. “Now, can you describe anything you can remember about what happen before you were brought to the hospital?”

My mom closed her eyes tightly before replying quietly. “I remember going to dinner with some colleagues before heading into town with Diana.” she stated, and before she could continue, her eyes flew open as her train of thought shifted slightly. “Diana! Is she okay?” she asked frantically.

The doctor nodded, but it was me that my mom turned to for a reply.

Nodding, I replied. “She’s fine mom. She has a single sling on her arm, but other than that she’s okay. Cason brought her home a while ago.”

I saw relief fill my mom’s eyes as she realized she hadn’t seriously injured her friend, but curiosity filled her eyes as I mentioned Cason leaving. Shaking my head, I silently told her not to mention it, and as she looked back to the nurse, it seemed as though she took my subtle hint.

“Anyways,” the nurse said, stringing out the syllables as her eyes flicked between my mom and I, “What else do you remember Mrs. Hartley?”

“Umm,” my mom pondered as her train of thought jumped back on track. “We were heading to pick up ingredients to cook with, and then, all of a sudden, a car wildly pulled out of a parking lot or side street and started to swerve. I think I turned to avoid the car, but after the impact my memory gets a little hazy. I vaguely remember some flashing lights and getting jostled around a lot, but that’s about it.”

The nurse was writing down what my mother was saying as she spoke, and looked up when she was finished with a satisfied look on her face.

“Well, it looks like your memory is just fine.” the nurse commented, walking closer to the bed as she started to check my mom’s vitals. “And everything else looks okay. You’ll have to stay in the hospital for two or three days as we monitor your operation site and other injuries, but sooner or later you should be good as new. I’ll be back in a little while to check your vitals, but I’ll leave you two to talk for now.”

After a few more simple checks the nurse left with a look of content.

“So, what exactly happen between with you and Cason?” my mom asked pointedly.

At the sound of his name my blood ran cold as the scene between us hours before played back into my mind. I knew in my heart that Cason wasn’t the reason that my mom had gotten into an accident, it was the idiot controlling the oncoming car, but at the time my jumbled head had come to the heinous conclusion that Cason was to blame. Just because he had taken me on that boat ride. His choice to bring me on a boat was surprising, but I honestly appreciated it more than anything he had done for me in the pass, and I had stupidly repaid him by telling him to leave me alone.

What in the world had I been thinking?

“Nothing.” I mumbled, looking down at my lap as I fiddled with my fingers ashamedly.

“Right…” my mom commented, and when I glanced up at her tone I saw her shooting me a look of disbelief. “Now tell me the truth.”

“I don’t want to seem ungrateful.” I said quietly as small tears slowly started to build up in the corner of my eyes.

“Why would you ever seem ungrateful?” she asked in her motherly voice. “I just want to know what’s troubling you, and what it has something to do with Cason.”

I looked into her eyes and the will to hold my tears at bay started to crumble. “That’s just it mom,” I started, “It has everything to do with Cason. Before he picked me up from the house you told me not to think about you for the night and just fun, and that’s what I did, but look what happened! I went and relaxed with my boyfriend, on a boat of all things, and you ended up in a hospital.”

“Oh honey,” my mom said, moving her hand over to clutch mine. My tears started falling faster as I realized this was all my mom could do to comfort me at the moment with all her injuries. “None of that mattered tonight. I had no control in the accident, and neither did Diana, Cason and certainly not you.”

“It just feels like it though.” I confessed, still crying as I squeezed my mom’s hand in comfort.

“Now, do you wanna talk about it some other day or do you wanna climb into bed with your old, injured mother and sit with me as you tell me about your boy problems?” she asked, trying to make out of her injuries, which I actually admired her for.

I choked out a laugh, as I made an attempt to wipe away my tears. “But I don’t want to hurt you.” I replied, although I knew that I would end up getting up on the bed.

“Oh honey, I have so much pain medicine going into my system right now that I’m surprised I’m not acting like a unstable celebrity out on the town.” she replied before nodding to the space that laid to her right for me to sit. “Now come on, you know you want to.”

Giving in to her wishes, I stood up from the chair I was currently seated in and walked around the bed to carefully maneuver onto it. Although I didn’t have much room to sit, I leaned carefully on my mom as I recounted the scene of the fight.

Even though I was making myself look like the bad guy, I didn’t mind because it was the truth. I knew I had messed up with Cason, and I was sorry, but I just didn’t know how to face him. I mean, how do you face the guy that you basically screamed at, telling him to leave you alone and never come back, when all he was really doing was trying to comfort you.

“Oh sweetie,” my mom said sympathetically, leaning her head on my shoulder as I rested mine a top of hers. “I’m sure Cason knew your words were just said in the heat of the moment.”

“But that’s just it mom, what if he doesn’t?” I asked. “What if I made a huge mistake and just lost the one boy that’s ever looked at me as something other than another face in the crowd?”

My mom moved her head once again, but this time moved to look me straight in the eyes. “Jessalyn, I’ve met Cason, and he is not that kind of guy.” she replied. “He just wants to give you some space, and when the time is right, he’ll come and see you.”

“I really hope so.” I said, sniffling as the last of my tears broke surface.

For the next hour or so we just sat there talking - talking about anything and everything – as the nurses came in for regular check-ups to see how my mom was fairing out on her medication. However, the time eventually caught up with me and I found myself falling – falling asleep in an uncomfortable chair as my mom lay awake in her hospital bed.

The days passed quickly after that, and my mother was healing slowly. Two days after her accident the doctors had given her the okay to leave, but she was sentenced to a week of bed rest to fully recover before attempting to return back to work.

Since we didn’t have a car at the moment, and I really didn’t want to waste any money on a cab to travel an hour back home, I had called Evan and he came back out to the hospital to drive us home. Even though I told him that I had to repay him somehow after bringing my mom into the house, he just shook his head and told me not to worry about it, but he did say one thing that broke my heart all over again.

“Cason’s been asking about you.”

At his words I had frozen, since I had already started up the driveway to my house, but his words made me take a glance back at him and give a short reply.

“Tell him I’m okay.” I replied hollowly before rushing into the house, this time, not looking back.

That day had been a week ago, and it was now Sunday morning. I had stayed home from school all week to help my mom out, and even though she told me I could go to school if I wanted, I declined in fear. I wasn’t ready to face Cason yet, and if I went to school I knew that even if we didn’t run into each other in the halls or at lunch, we shared a class together, and I just hadn’t worked up the nerve to apologize yet.

Even though I haven’t physically seen or spoken to Cason in over a week, I know that he had been stressed and worried. After coming home to the house last week, I saw that the inbox on my phone had been filled with desperate messages from Cason.

‘Is your mom okay?'

‘Do you need me to come and pick you up?’

‘Is it okay with you if I come to the hospital?’

‘I need to see you.’

‘Can we please talk?’

‘I know you’re focused on your mom right now, but do you think I can see you?’

‘Jessa please… <3’

The last one had pretty much broken my heart, but I hadn’t replied because I knew that he would rush over here if he knew I was home. Instead, I let the text messages keep coming in, but they eventually stopped on Tuesday afternoon. I guess he realized that either I didn’t want to talk at the moment, or the worst case scenario, he gave up on me.

While I didn’t have Cason to lean on throughout the week, Evan, and especially Olivia, had been there for me when I needed somebody. I spent an hour on the phone with her every night for the past week and, on Friday Olivia had graciously brought over all the work I had missed over the past week. Although there was no way to finish all of it before school on Monday, yesterday I had spent a majority of the day playing catch up.

Even with the instructions and concepts outlined in the text book, I couldn’t understand a lot of the work, especially in biology – where we had apparently started an entirely new concept of DNA replication.

I had called Olivia last night, and after her trying to explain it over the phone a couple of times, we just agreed that it would be better if she came over and explained everything to me in person.

We had agreed on noon for a reasonable time to meet, and as the clock struck eleven thirty, I headed upstairs to see how my mom was doing.

Knocking on the open door in courtesy, I smiled at my mom as she turned her head towards me groggily.

“Hey mom,” I greeted, walking into the room, “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m doing just fine Jessalyn.” she replied as her cracked lips stretched into a smile. “Just a little sore, but I guess that comes with the territory of being in an accident huh?” she asked jokingly.

“Oh, do you need more medication? I’ll go get some…” I started frantically, about to retreat and head to the kitchen for her pills, but she stopped me before I could get very far.

“No, no, no, don’t worry about it; it’s just a little ache in my shoulder where they operated, I should be fine soon.” she waved off before patting the side of her bed. “Now come sit beside me and keep me company for a while.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, but my question was answered wordlessly as she scooted over to the right side of her bed and sat up, leaving me more than enough room to sit down beside her.

“Did you get all the homework done that you’ve missed this week?” she asked, as every doting mother would.

I smiled sheepishly and shook my head with a negative reply. “I tried,” I replied. “I have half an essay left to write in English and I got all of my math and chemistry done, but biology just wasn’t making sense to me, so Olivia’s coming over soon to explain it. That’s okay right?”

“Of course it is sweetie. You know I don’t mind if you hang out with your friends.”

After a couple of minutes, our conversation slowly dulled to silence as neither one of us could think of anything to say. The silence didn’t last all that long though, as my mother decided to approach the elephant in the room.

“So…” she started, trailing into the subject. “Have you talked to Cason since the accident?”

At his name my mood immediately shifted, and I found myself frowning and deflated. “No,” I mumbled, ashamed of my cowardly behaviour. “I just can’t think of anything to say to him.”

“How about a simple ‘hello’ or ‘I’m sorry’?” she joked, but behind her tone I knew she was serious.

I sighed, leaning back against her headrest as ways to apologize flashed through my mind. “I know okay,” I admitted, “I know I have to be the one to apologize to him because I was the one in the wrong, but I just feel like he’ll turn away my apology and I’ll lose him.”

“Honey, if you never try, you’ll never know.”

I couldn’t even reply to her words of wisdom because, a familiar and repeated ring was suddenly heard throughout the house – notifying me that Olivia was obviously early.

“Go on and study, I’ll still be here in a couple hours when it’s time for my next dose of pain meds.” she said, pushing me lightly to the side of the bed.

Saying a quick goodbye to my mom, I hurtled down the stairs and opened the front door just as Olivia’s hand was itching towards the doorbell again.

“Hey,” Olivia greeted, sheepishly moving her hand back from the button as she smiled at me. “Sorry, I didn’t know if you were outside or with your mom so…”

“It’s fine.” I said with a smile, opening the door wider so that she could step through. Once the door was closed and we were heading up towards my room, I turned to her and spoke again. “Now please tell me that you 100% understand this stupid DNA replication subject and can make it look like grade three science to me in the next hour or so.”

As we entered my room, it was very clear to see how frustrated I had been with the subject the day before. My notes were scattered over my desk, my various attempts at the questions were balled up and left in a mess on the ground, and I’m pretty sure the fact that my textbook was on the floor looking like it had been thrown there was a good enough display of my frustration.

“Well, maybe it’ll take a little longer than I expected,” Olivia commented as her eyes scanned the mess I had made, “But it shouldn’t be too bad once you understand the overall process.”

“Then let’s get to it.” I sighed, grudgingly walking over to my desk to grab my notes and textbook before going back to sit with Olivia on the floor beside my bed.

This was going to be the longest span of time in my life.

Over an hour later I was finally starting to understand what Olivia was explaining to me.

“So all of these enzymes have a different function on the strands to create the replication?” I asked, and even though I was aware of how stupid the question sounded, I just had to make sure I was finally on the right track.

Olivia nodded in response. “Yup, that’s right.” she replied. “Now try to figure out question one in the homework while I go check my phone.”

As she got up to get her phone from her bag, which was laying on the opposite side of my room, I read over the question and the answer seemed to be easy enough to figure out after taking a glance back at my notes.

Just as I about to finish up with the question, Olivia came back to sit beside me with a peculiar look on her face.

“Umm, Jessalyn.” she said worriedly. “You might want to check you phone.”

I scrunched up my eyebrows at her suggestion, not knowing who would have been texting me, but none the less, I reached up onto my bed to see that my phone had been on silent all morning, and I had missed two calls and four texts – all from Evan.

“Why was Evan calling me?” I asked, not really expecting an answer.

After unlocking the screen and going to the texts, I realized what was going on.

‘You’re boy is starting to really annoy me… THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A RELAXING MORNING RUN!’

‘Can you PLEASE consider talking to Cason?’

‘Cason is seriously a mess here, he really needs you.’

‘He’s alone moping around his house, please, he needs you.’

“JESSALYN!” Olivia screamed in outrage, and until then, I hadn’t known she was looking over my shoulder at the texts her boyfriend had sent me about Cason. “I thought you had already talked to Cason!”

“Why would you have thought that?” I asked in confusion, knowing I hadn’t told her such.

“Well, I just assumed since you were smiling and joking when I got here that you had spoken to Cason last night or this morning.” she admitted sheepishly, before slapping my arm suddenly. “But come on, what are you waiting for?”

“First of all, ow.” I said pointedly, rubbing the place on my shoulder that she had hit lightly. “And second of all, I’m just afraid of what he’ll say.”

“Girl, I don’t care if you don’t do any of that biology right now, but I am telling you right now to run your skinny little ass to Cason’s house this minute and talk to him.” she said. “You haven’t been at school all week to see him moping and depressed, but he needs you Jessalyn and it seems like you need to be the one to make the first move.”

“But I’ll see him tomorrow…” I responded weakly, knowing that I wasn’t putting up that much of a fight.

“If you don’t leave this instant, I’m going to beat you up myself.” Olivia said. “The guy is totally in love with you and you’re not even seeing it.”

“He’s not in love with me… I was a bitch.” I mumbled, refusing to think that he could, in fact, still love me after the things I had said to him – if he even had in the first place.

“Why don’t you go find out?” she asked with a sense of finality as she raised her eyebrow.

Fighting the coward inside of me, I nodded, giving her a small smile of thanks before heading out of my room.

“But come back and tell me how it goes!” I heard Olivia shout as I ran down the stairs with the adrenaline that had just shot up my system, which made me smile as I headed out the front door and made the familiar walk to Cason’s house.

Walking up his driveway, I saw the car sitting in the driveway and the garage door opened. It all seemed so normal, as if I was just going over for another day in with my boyfriend, but as the feelings of rejection and anxiety started to seep through my adrenaline, I froze as I stepped up to his door.

What if he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore? What if Evan and Olivia were lying to make me feel better? What if I had destroyed the best thing that had ever happened to me? What if?

As these questions ran through my head, the words my mother spoke to me just a couple of hours ago seemed to roll through my head; if you never try, you’ll never know.

With her words of encouragement, along with Olivia’s boost of encouragement just minutes ago running through my mind, I rapped three times on the door.

Not even a minute had passed before I heard footsteps from inside and the door opened to reveal the very boy I came to see.

His eyes widened as he realized I was actually here, but nothing was said between us as the levels of awkwardness started to rise between us. I was trying to think of something I could say, but before my brain could form a complete sentence, the sound of Colby’s barking hit my ears and I looked down to see the adorable husky scratching lightly at my legs.

“Well hey there boy,” I said as I squatted down to rub his ears, finding it easier to talk to the dog than to Cason. “I hope you’ve been having fun the past couple of days.”

As I sat there, totally focused on Colby, I heard Cason speak for the first time in over a week.

“He’s missed you, you know.”

I looked up at him, abandoning Colby’s excitement as he scurried back into the house as I stood up slowly to face Cason. “I’ve missed him too.” I replied quietly, looking at the dog as I spoke before looking up into Cason’s eyes. “But, the person I’ve missed the most is you.”

Cason didn’t reply for a couple of seconds, and after I thought I had completely blown my chance at making amends with him by sounding desperate and needy, he responded.

“Then why haven’t you replied to my texts, or even picked up the phone to let me know that.”

His tone sounded angry, making me flinch slightly, but I knew that I probably deserved it after what I had put him through.

“I thought that you wouldn’t want to talk to me.” I replied truthfully. “I thought that after the things I had said to you – telling you that the accident was your fault and that I didn’t want to see you again – you actually wouldn’t want to see me again.”

“I was the one begging you to see reason, but I couldn’t get you to let me stay that night at the hospital.” he reasoned.

“I’m sorry,” I said, coming out and as I apologized. “I’m sorry for blaming the accident on you when I knew deep in my heart that it was just the universe taking another jab at me. I shouldn’t have sent you away that night, knowing that I needed you to be there for me, and I realized soon after that it was a mistake.”

“Why didn’t you say so sooner?” he asked, looking at me desperately. “I would’ve been there for you - even if you were mad with me.”

“I was being a coward, I was ashamed, I was putting it off.” I replied, ticking off different reasons that came to mind. “But truthfully, I just didn’t want to call you and have you not answer, or tell me that you couldn’t be with me any longer.”

“I had forgiven you the minute I got home with my mom last Friday.” he stated, shocking me with his words. “I knew that your words were just heat of the moment, but I thought I had to give you a bit of space so you would realize it.”

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled again, getting a little uncomfortable as I realized that he hadn’t actually accepted my apology yet.

My worries flew out the window as he replied. “It’s okay Jessa,” he said, sending me one the small smiles that I loved so much. “I know what you were going through was tough, and I just didn’t want to add more to the problem.  And after taking you on that stupid boat…”

He trailed off shaking his head, looking ashamed of his surprise boat ride, and I immediately stepped closer to him as I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes. “That boat ride was an eye opener for me, and I realized that it was just what I needed to accept that my father’s accident was just that – an accident. I loved that you took the chance, knowing that it would make me a bit upset, and took me out on a boat.”

“But it just happened to be the same day that your mom got in an accident.” he said, still beating himself up.

“And that was a coincidence, but it doesn’t mean that I blame you for the accident… I don’t blame anybody.”

“So, you forgive me for taking you on that boat?” he asked hopefully, squeezing my hands gently in hope that I would say yes.

“Only if you forgive me for making a complete fool out of myself and getting mad at you over nothing.” I replied cheekily, smiling up at him.

I felt any tenseness and pressure leave both of our bodies simultaneously as we both let the past stay behind us, accepting each other’s apologies as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me. That moment was what I had been missing the past week, being close to somebody you care about, who could put a smile on your face on a bad day with something as simple as a hug.

As Cason pulled back with a grin on his face, I raised my eyebrow, knowing he wanted to say something.

“Something on your mind?” I asked.

“Well, I’m just glad you forgave me. It sucks to have the girl you’re in love with mad at you for too long; you start to think you’ve lost her.” he stated jokingly, pulling me back into him so that we were chest to chest.

“You wouldn’t lose me…” I started to say, but then what he had said registered in my mind.

The girl you’re in love with…

“Wait, what did you just say?” I asked blankly, those words still running through my head.

Cason stared at me confused for a minute before repeating his words. “I said it sucks to have the girl you’re…” he said, and I knew this time he realized what he was saying as his eyes widened and his grip on me loosened slightly. “In love with.”

“You’re in love with me?” I asked quietly, my heart beating quickly as I held my breath for his reply.

Cason brought one of his hands up to his neck, rubbing it nervously as he looked down at me. “Well, that wasn’t exactly how I intended on saying that but,” I heard him mumble before he took a deep breath and spoke clearer. “It took me a while to ask you out in fear that you’d reject me so, I thought I’d wait to say this. I’m in love with you Jessa, and I think I might have been all along. From that first time you bumped into me in the office, you were the first girl in a long time that spoke back to me, and it intrigued me. I didn’t know how it happened, but you were always on my mind after that, whether it was annoying the crap out of you or planning a date, I just liked being around you. I only realized that it might be love when you bought me Colby. I guess I just love you, and I can’t really explain why, but you’re beautiful, caring, and one of the most intriguing girls I’ve ever met. That’s all I can really say though so, umm…”

I was frozen as Cason spoke, but my heart felt like bursting as he finished. He actually loved me; the guy that I had liked, dated, and even fought with loved me, and even though he didn’t know it, he had managed to make me fall for him along the way.

“Say something.” Cason begged, starting to lose confidence after his monologue.

A one hundred watt smile graced my face as I shook myself out of shock. Throwing my arms around Cason’s neck, I leaned in close enough so that there was not even a centimetre between our lips as I spoke.

“I love you too.”

Not even a second went by before our lips were attached and moving in sync – both desperate and needy. We were in love, and this kiss, that started to slow and intensify as it went on, wasn’t just the end of our fight, but the beginning of our future.

****************************************************

IT’S FINALLY DONE! This chapter has been a real bug to write and after a month without an update, most of this was written in the past 6 hours! Basketball season, school, and just life in general has kept me busy, but you’ll all be happy to know that the last chapter will be posted soon enough, and I have come up with an idea for an epilogue.

And, I know that the middle of this, along with the ending, seems a bit jumbled and rushed, but that’s what I get for procrastinating so long, and hopefully you all can look past it and enjoy the chapter.

Also, I have changed the second category of this story from humor to romance, as I am OFFICIALLY entering UIMY into the Watty Awards in the Romance category! This means that I need ALL OF YOUR SUPPORT in voting, and it’s more crucial than ever!

VOTE VOTE VOTE! FAN FAN FAN! COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT!

Until next time x