Sunday night— October 30th

My eyes opened with urgency as I drew my attention to my vibrating wrist. Both of our faces glowed from the light on my Apple Watch and since Emily's head was on my bicep, I could only make subtle movements in order not to wake her abruptly.

She stirred anyway as I reached up with my other hand to swiped away the alarm. Her eyes and lips wrinkled telling me she was waking up, so I figured I might as well wake her up anyway.

Using the back of my hand, I gently brushed away the few curls that covered her face, completely unveiling her peaceful face.

"Hey," I whispered, "Em."

"Hmm?" She stirred, the arm she had around me stretching then going limp.

"It's 11pm, I gotta head home." I said.

"What do you mean?" She finally spoke. Her voice was soft and groggy.

Even Though her eyes remained closed, you could see the confusion and displease all over her features. It was actually quite humorous seeing how expressive she could be while sleeping.

"What does time have to do with anything?" She asked.

Amused, I pushed air through my nose as I watched her gather herself.

"Well, I still have my own pace I need to tend to and make sure it doesn't spontaneously combust with my dog still in it."

"Don't use big words, I'm still rebooting."

"Well, R2D2, I have to get going and get you a Webster dictionary."

Reaching over her body to grab my phone off the nightstand, I immediately scroll through the notifications and habitually turn off the screen. When I turned my attention back to Emily, she was fully awake and quiet. Her expression was different. If I didn't know any better and after all this time I spent with her, I could definitely tell there was something on her mind.

"Say it."

"Say what?" She asked, her voice going up in pitch as she put up her defense.

"Don't start this."

"What? What am I doing?" A small smile started to form at the corner of her lips as she started the back and the fourth game she loves to play. "I'm not doing anything."

"If you don't say what's on your mind, I'm going to leave and you'll be here by yourself with you, the cat and your thoughts. We not gonna revisit whatever it is because by then it's going to be a new day. Now I'm going to ask you again, what's on your mind?"

By now I was standing in the middle of the room, fixing the belt on my jeans, bare chest as I watched her trying to coach her thoughts. She looked back at me with determination, but I could easily see through the facade.

"Nothing." She said,

"Emily. I'm around you more than you're around yourself. If it was truly nothing you wouldn't have even made a face. And now you're laughing."

She shook her head as she chuckled. "Because."

"Because what? Talk to me."

While Looking in her lap she inhaled deeply, her chest rising as she built the courage, then exhaled with her full attention on me. The humor she had just moments ago was gone.

"I just think it's kind of ironic."

"What is?" I asked.

This time she sat up. The sheet that was keeping us from feeling the chill in the house slid down, revealing the peak of her breast. To keep my focus on the conversation I resumed my task of getting dressed.

"The fact that you're right. I am around you more than I'm around anyone else."

Stopping my actions again, I stared at her with the most quizzical expression. " So what's ironic about it?"

"We're only around each other in places that are convenient." Using her fingers, she started to go down the list. "My place, My job, the cafe.. any other public setting that has errands involved."

"Well yeah... just like you said—They're convenient. Unless you're implying that I'm only around because it's convenient, then that's not the case. We both know I genuinely enjoy spending time with you no matter where we are."

After my last statement, I happened to spot the shirt I wore earlier tucked away in between the nightstand and the dresser. I excused myself as I reached for it, and also took the opportunity to switch on the small bedside lamp she had. Witht he light now brightening up ¾ of the room, i could actually see what i'm doing.

"Ok," she started as she adjusted herself, letting the sheet completely fall down to her lap, "so why haven't you ever invited me over to your place then?"

"That's what this is about?" I asked, pulling the shirt over my head.

"Yes."

"You're mad because you've never been to my house?"

"I'm not mad!" She made a point to clarify, "I'm just.. unsatisfied."

"Unsatisfied?? Emily what?" " I said, selfishly growing impatient with her lack of explanation. By now I couldn't contain my own frustration. 1. Because I couldn't find all my clothes, and 2. Because Emily was talking to me in circles. "How are you unsatisfied?"

"Because I'm ready to move past the getting to know you part, and I would hope you are too."

"I feel like we just had this discussion.." I admitted

"Hmm, Maybe we did." She said sarcastically, "It's kind of hard to move past something if it's so fresh. Think about it though, Jungkook. We spend all our time together and have shared so much with each other, but I still feel like we're on the surface level."

Using one of my hands, I pinched the bridge of my nose in irritation. "Ok, so which one is it? Are we moving too fast, or are we moving too slow? Whichever it is, we need to find a steady pace that doesn't leave you unsatisfied."

"It's not just about me being unsatisfied."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know, you tell me!" She snapped.

My eyes widened. I think this was the first time she actually raised her voice at me. To be honest, I wasn't here for it. I didn't want to have another argument, let alone one that had no signs of concluding.

Looking away, I strategically gathered my thoughts. Even Though I couldn't see her face, I still felt the pressure of her glare as she awaited my answer.

I moistened my lips habitually and calmed my voice, "Em, listen. I like it here just as much as I enjoy spending time with you— So much that I didn't even think about bringing you over to my place."

"I don't believe that." She admitted without any hesitation.

"What?"

This time she folded her arms to further express her disregard. "I just don't believe it. I find it unbelievable that after over 2 months, I've never been to or seen your place. Hell, I don't even know what street you live on.

Why is the fact that it never crossed my mind so unbelievable ?" I asked, placing my hand on my hips with my head tilted to the side.

"Two months? It hasn't crossed your mind for two months?"

"What does the amount of time have to do with anything? Even if it was just a week, I just never considered it. Why is it such a huge deal?"

"Because It feels like you're keeping me away or just hiding a certain part of you from me! Like there's something you don't want me to know. I find that very unsettling."

I stuck my tongue in my cheek and a mirthless chuckle left me as reality came to check me again. No matter what she meant by it, the truth was still highlighted by her words.

"Damn." I said. "That's how you feel?"

There was no doubt she felt the energy shift in the room because she started to double back. "Jungkook, I'm just saying that—"

"I'm unsatisfied and unsettling," I cut in, "I must be a shit boyfriend."

"No, I don't mean it like that, babe, what I'm trying to say is—"

"Goodnight."

I grabbed my phone, and keys off the dresser and swiftly made my way through the room. I was tired of the petty argument that had no destination, and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to be at home.

The drive home was a quiet one. The elevator ride was killer and Oddly, the walk to my front door was even worse. It was so quiet that the jangle of my house keys could be enough to wake up the next door neighbor.

Once my door was opened, the familiar scent of sandalwood and vanilla whisked past my nose. I was here just a few days ago and yet the smell of home did not have this much of an impact till now. Its sweet and musky aroma gave me that feeling of nostalgia that I desperately cling to. That feeling of being consoled by my loving mother when I was given the chance to vent in her arms. It didn't matter if I was Angry, sad, or just plain upset like I am now, and now I need it more than ever.

Tossing my keys to the side without a care where they landed as I let out a peeved sigh. JungCoco wasn't at the house either, so there was no one to greet me with an over amount of joy. It actually works out that way because I wouldn't want to taint coco with bad vibes.

Heading straight for the shower, I made a mental note to wash the clothes I bought from Emily's at some point tomorrow. There is no need to stop and browse the house since I knew no one had been here to touch anything other than the woman that watches coco when I'm away. But since I've been gone Coco has been with her.

About 10 mins later I was basking in the steamy perfectly pressured water that hit me at the right angle. As the water ran down my body I couldn't help but think about what Emily was saying. I was unsettling and unsatisfying. Probably one of the two most identifiable and crisis inducing vocabulary she could've used. I guess I got too comfortable because at what point did I forget that those words were true?

Another sigh came as time passed, and I started scrubbing my body, pathetically washing my parts alone for the first time in a while. A part of me actually felt guilty because I felt incapable. Since I've been at her house, she's been washing my back for me, reaching spots that I normally struggle to reach on my own.

"Aaghh, Fuck!" I grunted in native tongue, trying to reach a specific spot she would scrub that sent me into a heavenly oblivion. Settling for the bare minimum of a reach, I finished my shower in disappointment and frustration.

Once my shower was finished, I stepped out not even bothering to wrap my towel around me. Instead I just trudge through the bathroom like the grumpy old troll I felt like and fell face first into my plush mattress. The dark room consumed me as I listened to the lively city streets outside my bedroom window.

Before I could fully fall asleep, an obnoxious flash went off in the corner of the room paired with a mild vibration. It definitely took a lot of mental strength to turn over and reach for the device, but I managed to do so.

Flat on my back and sprawled out in the middle of the bed, I squinted my eyes to the blinding light.

Emily @ 12:03am :
Hey

I hope you made it home safely.
Maybe tomorrow we can revisit tonight's topic with a little more understanding. Get some rest.
Goodnight.

Also, happy Halloween 🎃

I stared at the message, contemplating what would be more appropriate until something inside me determined I was overthinking it.

Me @ 12:05am :
Yes I did.
You as well.
Night.

Immediately after I sent my message, the seen icon popped up following the three dots indicating she was typing. I waited a few moments. I had no clue what else she would have to say and the longer I waited I started to grow impatient.

Then another text came through.

Emily 12:09am :

I must really like you cuz even though I'm mad I still wish you were here 😒

Me @ 12:09am :
Go to bed

Locking it first, I let my phone drop from my hands onto my chest then closed my eyes to resume catching some sleep. The darkness around me cradled me once more and the sounds of the night life outside died down leaving me in pure silence.

Until my phone flashed again.

Emily @ 12:13am :
Does your bed feel too big too?

Ah yes, leave it to Emily to defeat me with the most simple words. I snickered in the empty room, facepalming myself for even thinking she wouldn't even notice.

Me @ 12:13am :
Seen

Emily @ 12:14am :

Yeah, same.

Monday— October 31st

*ring 📱 ring*

"Hello?"

"Get up Beetch!" Alexis screamed into my ear.

Wincing, I pulled the phone from my ear while in annoyance.

"Why are you so loud?" I said.

"wHy ArE YoU sO LoUd?" She mocked my sleeping voice with more falsetto "Girl get up I need your measurements for the final fitting."

"You know my measurements." I said, using my strength to sit up and rub the sleep out my eyes.

"Yah, but you and Jungpapi have been real cozy, so I'd imagine you put on some happy weight."

"Ion know about that as of lately."

"Whatchu mean?" She snapped. Second after an incoming FaceTime call took over the screen.

Rolling my eyes, I held the phone up right in a selfie position "Yes Alexis? You can now see me."

"Whatchu mean as of lately ?" She asked, one brow raised, head tilted down and looking over the top of her glasses.

"Nothing, we just had a hiccup. Nothing really major.."

She pursed her lips. "Mhm. Em, I don't wanna hurt anybody, I've been good lately."

"There's no need for that." I laughed. "Continue to be good."

"Okay, but I'll switch up if I need to."

"I know, boo. I love you" A smile spread across my lips. The possible image of Alexis actually trying to beat him up humored me. "But no, my measurements are still the same. Have you started the costumes yet?"

"Duh! I've been working on them for the last couple of weeks."

"Oh! Let me see!"

"Come over !"

"Right now ?"

"Yes! I don't have company, just pull —"

"Ayoo babe, where's the little Debbie's ?"

It was like time froze. Both of us stared at the screen like we were in an intense staring contest, and then I cracked.

"You're such a liar!" I snickered, hitting my fist against the bed to express my laughter more.

"Well, I won't have company by the time you come," she said before yelling, "THEY'RE IN THE CABINET!"

"I don't mind— I don't wanna kick anyone out either." I said sincerely. There was no need for him to leave, especially if he was already comfortable.

"Whatever, I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"Of course not. We're pretty familiar with each other now."

"Oh okay, cool. Pull up then! Detangle that curly ass hair and c'mon"

"Okay." I yawned.

"And brush your teeth too, Fonky."

Smiling sweetly, I politely gave her the finger before hanging up. I set my phone down next to me and rubbed my eyes again. It wasn't even 9am yet and Alexis is all sunshine and rainbows while I have hermit vibes.

"Come on, Ricky. Time to get up." I encouraged my sleeping kitten to the right of me. I doubt he would have moved since he gladly took up the space that Jungkook left behind.

Like I predicted, he didn't move, so I settled for getting ready alone. I tried to keep my head up but the fact that Jungkook and I had unfinished business really bothered me. Especially since I haven't heard from him since last night.

This is the first time I brushed my teeth without him in a while. I couldn't help but frown the whole time. The lack of pointless conversation, and mindless discussion that I secretly adored was just enough to worsen my mood.

Each thought I had was centered about him though. As much as I respected him and his space, knowing we weren't happy with each other at the moment and not speaking didn't sit right with me.

After spitting the remnants of toothpaste into the sink, I assessed my face and pondered. It just hit 9am...he might not be awake yet...

"Ugh" I groaned, biting back my bottom like to fight the urge.

Looking into the mirror, I stared at the reflection of my phone sitting on the counter perfectly, begging to be used to hit up a special somebody...

Fuck it—

Friday 10/31/00
Me @ 9:04am:
Hey 🎃 I hope you slept well

There was no telling when I'd receive a reply, so I just tossed my phone onto my bed and turned in my heels to rummage through drawers for today's outfit.

Incoming FaceTime from Pudding🩵

"Hello?"

The rasp was enough to bring me to my knees.

"Yes, my bed feels too big."

Hey Readers!
Hope you enjoyed
Until next time!
🩵Bye for now 🩵