•Melody•

I knew what I've done wrong. I knew it all along. I should've trusted my instincts.
Jimmy is someone that you would beat yourself up so hard if you treated him wrong. When you're just so paranoid you'll lose him; the most gut-wrenching feeling.
I didn't want to lose him. I really didn't. But I knew what was about to happen. I knew he was almost done, I could just tell with the look in his eye.
I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I don't want to watch him leave me, it'll hurt to much.
Ever since day one, Jimmy was evidently in love with me. I know it sounds selfish, but he made it pretty obvious.
I was afraid. I'll admit it, I was very afraid. I'm such a mess, and he chose me. I know he will leave me sooner or later. It's just so hard; I burden people with all of my problems. I'm depressed, I hate myself, I don't even know if I want to live.
And now I'm a murderer.

Jimmy drove me home later that night. He offered for me to stay over with me tonight, but I refused. My head is spinning with the same thought repeating: You killed someone. You killed someone. You killed someone.
I didn't even bother to put pajamas on, and just crashed onto the bed.

10:43 a.m.

I stirred and tried to fall asleep again; I've only gotten three hours of sleep last night, but I couldn't fall back asleep. I'm going to be miserable today.
I threw the covers off me and started for the doorway.
I yawned, then bumped into the side of the doorway.
"Damn it," I mumbled, then continued walking.
I walked to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a blueberry yogurt.
I brought it to the counter and tried to open it, but couldn't.
I bit my lip and tried again but still couldn't open it.
Damn, I hated these yogurts.
I grabbed a butcher knife from the knife box and cut it open.
I was about to put down the knife before I stared at it.
I gazed at my contorted reflection in the knife.
I brought it to my forearm, the point poking at a vein.
I looked away, squinting my eyes.
I rapidly cut my arm, wincing.
Everybody always told me that cutting can become a bad habit and that it doesn't fix anything, but I don't know what to do.
I cut my arm several times up to my upper arm. It relieves the stress that I was too much of a coward to let go.
I put the knife down as blood slithered down my arm.
There were pools of tears in my tear duct, but I urged them away.
I scrutinized the cuts. There were at least twelve of them.

I put the knife down. I threw the yogurt away, losing my appetite.
I walked over to the coffee table and snatched my phone. I had one new text from Jimmy:

Melody -
I know last night was tough. Maybe I should've just let the cops come, because it will make us look bad.
I acted really quick because I didn't want you to get arrested. I don't know what I'd do without you.
I would never even think about leaving you. I mean, I've been in love before, but not like this. You helped me find who I really am, and I can't thank you enough for that. So please, don't ever think for a second that I'm going to stop loving you, no matter what you say. If you want to take a break, that's fine. If you actually want to break up, that's fine, it'll just hurt. I just wanted to let you know that if you want to move on, I won't be mad.

A tear strolled down my cheek, dribbling off my chin.
Gosh, I'm such a fucking idiot. I need to stop taking Jimmy for granted. He's working so hard to be the best person he could possibly be for me, and I haven't even thanked him once.
Then there was a loud bang at the door.
I ripped a paper towel off the roll and rubbed the blood off. I slid my long-sleeves down so whoever was there wouldn't see my cuts.
I vaguely walked to the door. I opened it, peeking through the crack.
Standing in front of me were two police officers.
"H-Hi," I stammered, starting to shudder.
"I'm Officer Patterson, this my partner Officer Mann," He said, pointing to a girl with red hair that was pulled into a messy ponytail. She had freckles covering her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. "Melody Davenport, you're under arrest for the murder of Katelyn Grosso,"
***
What have I done? 😁