Swara stood staring blankly at dipping sun from window, playing with ring on her finger .She is engaged and She felt trapped, like she's bound in something which she didn't want to...but it was her choice to go ahead with engagement...and have to live with it. Should she ?

She didn't intend to hurt him today..The anger over helpless state he had put her in.. Angry?Is that why she got engaged . Was she trying to get back to him? He was right there attending guests, like nothing happened adding more fuel to her already bubbling anger .Her off hand comment ..she didn't know would evoke such strong response from Sanskaar .

After sliding ring in finger as Sahil lifted her hand to his lips, Her eyes were fixed on Sanskaar but there was nothing she could make out from his face. What did she hope for, that he would smack Sahil and claim her "I am glad to have you in my life Swara" Sahi's words drifted her eyes back to him. She forced a smile but next words were for someone else " Thanks Sahil ..for feeling I am good enough for you."

And there was sound of crash of glass .It crashed in his hand .. piercing ,and it bled.

"Sanskaar ... " His name was out on her lips before she could realise , snatching her hand from Sahil ,Swara rushed to him oblivious of curious glances her actions drew and absolute silence ruled around room.

"Kya karte ho ? "Swara hastily wrapped her kerchief around hand "Dekho kitna khoon beh raha hain,.bilkul dhyan nahi rakhte ho apne ..bahut dard ho raha hain ..concerned she looked into eyes and time froze for her. There was sharp pain in his eyes which tugged her heart.

Did she hurt him ,with her words? Was he in pain too ...then Why did he let her go?Swara's mind swamped with thoughts.

As he caught every eye in ceremony, glancing towards them ,that minute Sanskaar snatched his hand back startling Swara and breaking the eye lock "Main dekh lunga.. "he looked around crowd and muttered a quick sorry and rushed outside.

Swara stood there watching him.

"Woh Shona aur Sanskaar bachpan ke dost hain na .. iss liye."Sharmistha walked up to Swara trying ease the situation ."Shona ..she gave a disapproving glance and lead her back to Sahil.

"Lagta hain kuch Jyada hi fikr hain aapki beti ko uski dost ki "Sahils mom Gayatri Gupta passed a comment casting another disprroving a look towards Swara.

"Mom Please .."Sahil whispered to his Mom.

"Tune Pasand kiya isliye ..nahi tho ...she paused .If not for Sahil she would have never approved this match. There's no doubt girl is beautiful and she know Gadodias held a good reputation in business circle though they would never match their stature of being one of most influential business family, and her husband Amit Sen Gupta,a tall and stout man in appearance is known for being ruthless man when it comes to business .Started off with small garment manufacturing unit , he slowly made his way into industry and started acquiring other units and didn't mind resorting to manipulative ways to achieve his purpose and today he owns the largest textile manufacturing unit in kolkata .

Gayatri Sen gupta ,his wife a short and plump lady was daughter of one of close relatives and Amit married her for handsome dowry, she would be getting , which would serve him as investment for his business.Born and brought up in a rich family Gayatri always despised people of low stature, but Amit was different . She knew he would make it big one day and she was proved right . Though well aware of his intentions she married him served as dutiful wife yet never did she let him ride on her. She knew where to keep her husband grounded. Known to be an active person in many of association and clubs, her show off attitude and big mouth is often talked about behind.

Their one and only Son ,Sahil Sen Gupta, A MBA holder from abroad. Though not a passion music had always been one of his interest areas.Before joining his dad's business he joined music college for a short term course just to give it a shot ..that's where he had seen Swara for first time .Instantly drawn to her , he tried to befriend but couldn't succeed much.Swara just always treated him to be a classmate, but Sahil was bent upon getting Swara.

Amit and Gayatri would have never agreed for proposal if not for Sahil's Zidd, yet there was ulterior motive behind. Sekha Gadodia for his pious honest and helpful nature held a reputation many folds better than Amit among the business group and cashing his image would come handy for this years presidential elections of Chamber of Textile Trade & Industry ,the position which he had eye for long .

Oblivious of veil intentions, when proposal came in Gadodia family could never be more happy other than three ...Swara, Sanskaar and Sujoy.

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"Ye Sab kya hai Shona?"

Hearing her Dada's voice Swra quickly wiped off her tears and turned towards him forcing a smile " Kya Dada?"

Sujoy walked in took a close look at her.. Her tear stained cheeks said it all " Tu ache se jaanti hain shona ki main kis baare main baat kar raha hoon .. tu tho Sanskaar se pyaar karti thi na ..phir ye Sahil kaha se aagaya?" He waited for an answer but when nothing came in ,he frowned a bit " Kahi ne Sanskaar Mana tho nahi kar diya? Hey bhagavan ye ladka bhi na .. main abhi usse .."Sujoy walked towards door but stopped midway hearing Swara's voice.

"Nahi dada ..Mujhe kisi ka bheek nahi chahiye aur ab koi fayida nahi "

Oh! How much it hurts to say this! Swara held back her tears "agar usse mujh se pyaar nahi hain tho..." Swara turned back,let the tears flow "I don't want to talk about this Dada .. please aur ab thoi meri sagai ho chukhi hain."

"Aur tu khush hain? .. itni khus ki.." He turned her to face him "Ye" he wiped tear off her cheek "aasu rok nahi paa rahi hain .."

"Dada Please ..." Swara almost pleaded . Why he had to make it more difficult. His probing is just a reminder, a painful reminder of what could have been and what had happened.

"Teek hain tu kuch nahi bolegi ..main khud baba se baat karunga ..aur.." Sujoy started to walk off Swara held his hand

"Aap ko meri kasam dada .. aap aisa kuch nahi karoge "

Sujoy stared at her for long ,then rushed out

----------------------

Sujoy paced in his room restlessly.It was nothing but a shock to him when he was called back for Sahil and Swara's engagement . He was absolutely aware of fact that his baba had been looking out matches for Shona but he never ever thought something would materialise when he is absolutely is aware of what Swara and Sanskaar feel for each other . From what he deduced none of the other family knew of Swara's love for Sanskaar and perhaps Sanskaar too .

"Shona ne Sahil se sagai ke liye haan kyu kaha ?Kuch toh hua hai ."Sujoy raked his hair in frustration .. "lekin kya ?" Swara and sanskaar were not ready to give in nay details .His probing only earned him few glares from Sanskaar and all he said was " there's nothing to talk about it." and above all Shona ki kasam .. God ! Please show me a way . I can't let my sister ruin her life."

-----------------

Sanskaar walked in holding bags , some stuff he was asked to get from market and found Sahil seated in Hall .

Hey! Sahil Greeted him

Sanksaar simply nodded his head and made his way inside

"Hey! Sanskaar Listen."He halted listening Sahil's voice and turned back ."I wanted to talk to you about you know ..Sanskaar frowned his brows as he continued in low voice " What happened in engagement ...Mom was bit upset with that .. don't mind me saying this but it's better if you stay away from Swara! I know bachpan ki dosti and all that but .. ab woh meri hain tho .."

Sanskaar curled his fist trying to reign his anger .Rage was small word for what coursed through Sanskaar. He would have smashed whatever he was holding on Sahil's head , if not for sujoy who came in at right moment .

"Hi Sahil.."Sujoy came down the stairs

"Hi Sujoy .."Sahil greeted him " Btw Sujoy don't you think you should call m jijaji

Sujoy exchanged a glance with Sanskaar " Jijaji ?" He remembered his teasing sessions with Swara calling Sanskaar Jiju and Convo he had with sanskaar before he left and now this Sahil.

" In your dreams Sahil " Sujoy thought and forced a smile " Pehle Shaadi tho ho jaane do ..I mean abhi time haina ..phir zindagi bhar bulana padega ." That earned him a glare from Sahil which he totally ignored.

As they heard sound of footsteps all three of them turned to see Swara descending stairs.Sahil quickly stepped forward and extended hand Chale?".Swara looked at Sanskaar who quickly averted his eyes .Sahil narrowed his eyes at exchange and took hand of Swara jerking her out " Main toh yaha hoon" He gave a smirk as Swara nodded and led her out .Sanskaar and Sujoy stood watching them as they left. Swara glanced backwards at Sanskaar for a fraction of second, then followed Sahil.

"Dard ho raha hai?" Sanskaar snapped his head at Sujoy's remark " I mean You hurt your hand right !" He said pointing his hand .Not saying a word Sanskaar strided off .

--------

Sahil SenGupta? Really Ragini !"Laksh looked at Ragini who stared at him in confusion. Laksh couldn't attend engagement as he was out of city for some business deal. When he heard the news , he wondered if he was wrong in reading feelings of Swara and Sanskaar ..but Sahil as a choice for Swara .. he would have disapproved . Being Mba classmates he knew him well .He is not what he looks like.

"Kya hua laksh ji ?Aap aise kyu keh rahe hain?'Ragini asked confused. They met for a coffee finally after Dadi's approval.

"Ragini .. Gupta's are like very rigid..Swara will not have neither freedom nor much choice over there. Sahil ki Mom Gayatri.Maa is also part of ladies association and she always keep telling how dominant and controlling Gayatri ji is and Sahil bhi aisa hi hai .I know him from my college days ,he wants everything his way and he is damn possessive uski har cheez ko lekar.. Itna ki I often felt he has this unhealthy obsession." Laksh shrugged his shoulders "I don't know , If that's my perception , if he's changed ..But I don't get a very good feeling ,,anyways ab tum logon ne decide kar liya and Swara is fine with it .." He sipped his coffee " I don't think I can have much say.. "

Ragini silently sipped her coffee .. Would she want that kind of life for her sister..Hearing itself is making her feel suffocated, how would Swara endure?

"Hey !" Laksh snapped his fingers before Ragini " Where were you lost?'

"Kuch nahi "Ragini simply nodded

"Waise Ragini ..I am surprised Swara said yes to this alliance ..I mean...I felt Swara and Sanskaar had something between them "he paused and was quick to notice change of expression in Ragini and tried changing topic.

"Btw Ragini ..kuch poochna hain tumse?" Ragini nodded "From how many months do we know each other ?"

"4 mahine!"

"Suppose Agar main tumse dur chala gaya ..I mean we are separated.."

"Laksh ji ..Ragini was quick to halt his words " Never Ever say that please ..Hum aap se bahut pyaar karte hain ..She almost cried "hum aapke bina.. "

"Hey hey Relax ..Laksh settled by her side and hugged her " I love u too Ragini.."

After sometime as they parted " Aap aisa kabhi mat kehna please!" Ragini wiped her tears.

"Sorry .. "Laksh held his ears drawing a smile from Ragini but next words of laksh shook her to the core "woh toh bas aise hi soch raha tha ki ..I mean if Swara and Sanskaar, they have been together like what 12, 13 years ..jab alag honge toh kaisa lagega .. it would be tough na .. good they don't have feelings for each other .. May be I was mistaken but if yes ...God! How painful that would be ..Socho"

--------------------

Ragini settled on bed...Laksh's words ringing in her ears.She caught her reflection in mirror and gazed at it .Ye tumne kya kardiya Ragini" the reflection questioned her "Tu jaanti thi ki Swara aur Sanksaar .. phir bhi ..isliye kyunki you were jealous of their bond ..You couldn't get such attention as of your sister,you longed for someone to be your's only yours..you wanted to have someone like Sanskaar in your life ..but you couldn't ..iss liye tumne ...

"Nahi .".Ragini turned away " Maine kuch nahi kiya ..kuch nahi kiya..Swara ne khud haan kaha iss rishte ke liye ,kuch nahi kiya hain maine."

" Mooh pher ne se sach badal nahi jayega Ragini ..you know Why Swara said Yes ,why Sanskaar stepped back ...you knew it all .."

"Bas" she turned gazed at her reflection "Mian kuch nahi jaanti , kuch nahi .Chale jaavo yaha se ..chale jaavo .. furious she threw a vase smashing mirror .

-------------------

Sanskaar looked at his hand .. the cut ..it still hurts but it's nothing before, what he had put both of them through..He reached to handkerchief in his pocket ,the moment played before his eyes ..How she rushed to him, that concern and love in her eyes, the one which he ruthlessly ended off .

Sahil ...every time he tried to claim shona with his words and gestures...he boiled with burning rage " Shona nahi Swara ..Call her Swara.." he told him recently " Ab ye meri Shona hain."

How dare he ? Sanskaar eyes burned with fury "To hell with promise ...woh Meri shona hai..Meri.'He rushed towards door but halted ...

"Agar tum shona ke liye ache zindagi chathe ho jo tum nahi de sakthe ..kaun ho tum?" that voice echoed again .Sanskaar closed his ears shutting voice out, and stepped back .

"Sanskaar ..main tumse pyaar karti hoon ..please batavo kya hua .. Swara's voice came in again

"Tumhe usse bhool na hoga ..bhool javo usse " Sanskaar turned around .. Voices rang in his ears of shona, of the one who snatched his life away from him ..flashes of their moments, her tear stricken face as he pushed her out..You asked me not to say words ..I love u sanskaar ..they flashed through him

"Sh..ona ... "Shouting her name Sanskaar knocked things off table with brutal force broke every single thing that came handy .He never felt this helpless in his life.

.He can't go on like this ...There has to be a way out of this.

---------------------------------

And very soon Day of marriage arrived .

Dressed in bridal wear, Sitting on bed Swara drew her knees together, her eyes pooling with tears.Now it has come to this ,her wedding day..not with the one she dreamt off .She looked at mehendi in her hands S marked in it .He would be somewhere overlooking arrangements, attending guests.

Over past few days she tried talking to him ..but he mostly avoided her .

"Tumhe koi farak nahi padta na ki kal koi aur mere haath dhaamega..meri zindagi ka hisaa banega..bolo.?"

"Haan nahi padta ..koi farak nahi padta mujhe."

Tears flowed out of her eyes as she recalled his words.

"Tumne soch bhi kaisa liya mujh farak nahi padega Shona" ..Sanskaar wiped tears off his face as he packed the stuff in his room. All these days he endured this torture but now not any more.Watching her becoming someone else's bride .

"Will you stay if ask you to stay ?"As the little girl's face in pink night dress flashed before his eyes, with that small grin ,Sanskaar settled lifelessly on bed and he stayed back and now .. .." Jab tum mere saath nahi hain tho..." He's gonna leave this place... forever.

----------------

"Sanskaar ..I have heard and read that when people fall in love woh shayar ban jaate hain ..itne din hogaye tumne mere liya kuch nahi likha" Swara complained as they hanged out in park.

"Kyunki main shayar nahi hoon issliye "Sanskaar answred back feeding her popcorn

"Shayar ban ne ki jaroorat nahi..kamse kam ek love letter tho try karsakte ho"

"Waise love letter main ho tha kya hain? Sanskaar asked as Swara fed him popkorn back

"Mian expert thodi na hoon ..shayd ye ki tum mujhse kitna pyaar karte ho and all that..Likhona Sanskaar please," Swara made a cute face

"Acha Baba teek hain .. try karunga aur tumna please ye bollowood films dekhna bandh kardo Shona ..nahi tho sab mere upar try karoge tho ..' he smiled teasingly

"Ha ha Very funny "Swara picked a handful of popcorn and threw at him " Arey shona .. kya kar rahi ho...bas karo" but she didn't stop and chased him all around and finally when they settled back ,he got another tub of popcorn

-----------

With fumbling hands Swara opened her dairy and reached out to letter hid beneath pages.

"Ye lo tumhara letter .."Excited when she tried to open "ah aha .nah ..not now" he stopped her "I want you to open this on day of our marriage ..kyunki I want you to know how much I love you ..his thumb gently caressed her cheek "before I make you mine.."his eyes sparkled as well as hers. ..then and Now

She tore opened the letter ...and her eyes blurred with tears as she read through it.

"Dil se dur bhaaga tho"

Teri aankon se takra gaye,

Ehsaas se roota toh

Tu dhadkan mein sama gaye

Kudh ko kahi khoya tha,

Thab tu mil gaye

Tuje kya apna banaye

Kudh Teri hogaye

Phir kyun tuje in lafso ki intezaar hai

Ke tujse pyaar hai,

Ke tujse pyaar hai."

"Sanskaar ..."She sank down onto floor taking his name ,clutching letter close to her heart .What had been she waiting for, for him to claim her, tell her how much he loves her .Last lines tugged her heart Phir kyun tuje in lafso ki intezaar hai,Ke tujse pyaar hai,Ke tujse pyaar hai."

"Did he have tell her in words? Ye tune kya kardiya Swara ..She gave up on them easily just because he did the same .How did she even reach conclusion he didn't love her anymore.

"Waise mujhe mere love letter kab milega?" she remembered his words " Mujhe bhi ek milna chahiye na ..you know fond memories."

"Shaadi ke din "she replied playfully

Wiping her tears off Swara reached out to pen.As she started to scribble on note pad

"Swara ... "A voice came in and she turned back.

------------------------------------------------

Sanskaar opened the letter which a kid handed him over . "Woh Shona didi ne diya" was all he said .As Sanskaar scanned through contents not giving a second thought he rushed to the garden behind house, and there she was ..as a bride her

Shona ...

She turned to face him her eyes thick with tears ,lurching his heart , Instinctively he reached out to her wipe them . She closed her eyes at his touch as his fingers wiped them off. Not saying a word she clutched his hand and opened her eyes and gazed into his.

"Shona .. he took her name his voice laced with pain .

"Kyu Sanskaar Kyu ?" she hit him gently and hugged him , her tears soaking his shirt and his hands drew her close and that moment nothing mattered to them , neither the baarat that already came in .. nor the chaos on not finding the bride or every one of that eye staring at them in stunned silence.

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Contd...

( Running away from heart , I met your eyes .When curbed feelings, you made way into my heart . By losing myself I have found you , How would I make you mine when I have become yours , why do you wait for words that I love you ..I love you )

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