Kolkata

"I will be there in sometime Sharmistha...Shona aur yaado ko bolo baba unke saare fav toys leke aa rahe hain..unhe baat karni hai ... I am driving Sharmistha ..Just tell them ki..."Engrossed in his talk ,Sekhar didn't notice figure crossing the road and in next minute ,there was a loud crash.

Sekhar screeched his car..and rushed down . By then the crowd gathered at accident site. Sekhar made his way from crowd and froze at sight in front of him..It's a kid, of 10 years lying in pool of blood.

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Half conscious lying on floor..all he remembered was being tossed in air and hitting the ground,feeling the cold gravel of road beneath him, dimly aware of his own blood seeping in warm runlets...and then everything descended into black.

After two days ..lying on bed in room of house completely foreign to him, he scanned surroundings curiously.This is first time he found himself tucked warmly into softness of quilt, the room half the size of common hall of his orphanage, there were cushions and pillows tucked neatly arranged on divan, paintings and framed needle work hung around walls, curtains slightly drawn away from windows letting in soft amber glow of the sunrise, and chirping of birds as they flitted from tree to tree. He felt Dull throb in head, his hand instinctively reached the bandage wrapped around his head..Events flashed before him...oh the accident.His instinct was immediately alert as he heard the sound of foot steps. In vain attempt to get up from bed he only struggled further.

"Don't move ..it will hurt "His head snapped up to find an middle aged lady rushing to his side keeping aside the tray she held.She gently reached out to him , helped him to lean on to pillow " How are you now? Feeling any better ? oh ..the head it's still hurting right. Don't worry beta ..Doctor gave some painkillers ..just have this breakfast and rest .You will be fine." He watched her talking endlessly and finally when she paused

"Who are you ? where I am ?" he asked in a low voice

"I am Sharmistha . she smiled warmly " the accident " she suddenly sounded apologetic" It was my husband Sekhar"

"Oh... He nodded that explains all, then an middled aged man walked in ..and lady who called herself sharmistha turned to him " Sekhar dekho isse hosh aagaya".

Sekhar.. Her husband he mentally made a note.

"I hope you are feeling better he walked upto them and settled besides his wife

.. "Sharmistha ..I think you should feed him.His hand is hurt as well" Nodding lady reached out to the tray and held a spoonful of what looked like a soup before his mouth ..which he bluntly refused.

"Have it ..You will feel better ..you need to take your medicines too. Don't you want to get well soon?" There was a sense of ease and warmth in his tone and ladies eyes showered the same warmth ..but besides that he got a point ..If he needs to get out of here , he needs to get well. He took the spoonful of soup in.

"I am sorry beta .. woh galti se ..I am really sorry..I didn't know any whereabouts of you so I brought you here." Sekhar started to explain

"Its ok Sir ..Atleast you didn't leave me to die..If you wished you could have." his tone was bitter.Sekhar and sharmistha exchanged a glance.

"What is your name beta ?" Sekhar asked " I Don't have one" he answered staring into space before him ."Your parents , family ?Sharmistha tried.

"I have none"

"Matlab tum ?"

"Anath hoon" ..he answered with no flicker of emotion on his face.

Concern crossed Shekar and Sharmistha as they looked at each other then at kid. Sekhar realised it must have been tough for this kid ..all these years especially not having someone to call your own.Sharmistha heart went out for the poor kid."Koi baat nahi beta .. You can stay with us here "she gently placed a hand on his shoulder , which he jerked off. Sekhar gently nodded looking at Sharmistha who looked taken aback.

"No..I want to leave" His voice was curt and to the point.

So much of bitterness..at this age Sekhar wondered.Getting up from divan."You can't , which made kids head snap at him .Ignoring him Sekhar continued "Not until you are completely fine and I guess that leaves you no choice" With a small grin on his lips Sekhar walked out of room along with his wife. Stubborn streak the kid is he thought .

He stared at closed doors for long .He had no desire to stay and above all the sympathetic looks people give him knowing he is an orphan, that burned him. He hated that feeling to core. Same with these people. He could feel it and he doesn't need any sympathy .Tomorrow before these people could realise he will be out of here .Nothing can make him stay.... no one

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He lied on bed hating himself not being able to regain his strength as faster he wanted to.He needed some to make his way out of this room , this house. Even from behind the closed doors ,he sensed it's a noisy household , there was a old day who shouted taking roof on her head.. maare khatu shyamji was her standard syllable ..then there were kids ..he could hear their mom calling them , Shona ,Laado, Sujoy ..were the names he could make out.The only ones who entered the room were Sharmistha and Sekhar occasionally .He hated talking, hated making conversation with anyone, hence was left alone most of times.

If mornings went in his nursing, the silence in nights tormented him the sedatives mostly kept him away from pain, misery, the sore muscles induced on him ..but there was something..a faint sweet presence nearby which soothed him. Sometimes he felt it hovering outside room, just out of his reach and he yearned for it .

Amid the noises of children bickering, laughing, he heard a voice, a girl's voice that raised every hair on his body. He wanted to see her..wanted her to come to him. One or two occasions, he caught them peeking behind from shutters..murmuring but they never came to him . she never came.

After a week, his fever eased. His wound mended enough to allow him to move around room..To night he thought..May be morning ..he decided.

He woke up as first light of dawn shone through window . He need to leave before family would be awake . He picked his ragged clothes, felt a sharp jab of pain in his hand as tried to put on his shirt .He gritted his teeth trying to hold back the pain

A tap on door startled him..he froze in his tracks as the door opened.

"Are u Leaving?" he heard a girl asking softly and it's her...he knew it from the way his heart pounded. He closed his eyes letting the voice and feel soothe his pain. You are here , at last ..and in almost an aching need to see her, he turned back and caught glimpse of most beautiful sight he had ever seen. In a pink night dress with a teddy print..her long hair all mussed up ..she looked at him with a frown on her face like she is inspecting him, still a soft warmth and innocence radiated from her .

"If Baba knows he will be sad ..he keeps talking about you, you know ?" Her voice was sweet as song and it further soothed him. Oh that must hurt right ..the bandage on your head?she questioned him concerned.He stood frozen not knowing what to say."Maa says you doesn't talk to anyone ..Are u afraid of new people?' she questioned him again.

"I... I.." he mumbled at loss of words.

"Don't go ..she said softly and turned back to leave."You want me to stay?" hearing his voice she turned back to him." Will you stay If I ask you to?' she asked with a small grin.He simply nodded. " Then Stay." her grin widened.. Filling up the room with warmth just like sun rays breaking its dawn lighting up the room.

She turned to leave ..he wanted her not to go ..not to leave him but how would he ? He doesn't even know her name ?..what could be her name.?.They were two of the them he remembered.In almost an desperate attempt to stop her ,he listened to his heart, may be for first time and called her

"Shona..."

."Haan" she turned back and next minute her sleepy eyes widened in surprise .

'How do you know my name?" she questioned

"Shona" ..her Dadi's voice came in alerting her "Oh God ! Dadi Don't tell her I was here" And she rushed out leaving him.

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"So what have you decided?" Sekhar asked looking at kid before him .

"I will stay" he answered with an absolute conviction

Sekhar smiled " Good..But what made you change your decision? I thought you wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible."

He looked at her, hanging around her dad's shoulder smiling at him. Its for you..he thought no ..for me he corrected himself .He know he would want to see her..feel her presence around him.

"I told him baba".. She meekly answered

"Haan baba ..I have seen Shona sneaking into his room shuba shuba "The other little girl complained.He saw her poking tongue out at her sister.

"Arey wah ..Shona ,Tho tumne isko manaliya ..hmm so that answers my question.No one can say no to Shona ,haina gudiya." Smiling she cuddled closer to her dad.Sharmistha looked up , smiled and resumed her vegetable chopping.

"But ..I have something to say" every head turned to him " I will work ..any work Sir..only then I would like to .." he paused.

Sekhar nodded in understanding.Perhaps he understood his need to work.It's kind of self pride which wouldn't let him feel burdened of staying here. He couldn't help but appreciate the kid in his heart . There's some fire in him .ek ajeeb si kashish..he thought.

"Ok! Then .You can stay here as long as you want and work as well .Laado ..Sujoy.. Idhar aao he called out " and he then realised there was one more kid of his age.. Their son. He looked like his dad.

"You met Swara right ..I mean shona . Ye ragini hain .. hamari laado aur ue sujoy hain mera beta. Shona is 7 , Raagu is 9 and Sujoy is 11. Bacho .. from today he will be staying with us ..Ye.." sekhar paused .He didn't have a name he remembered .

"Sanskaar..kaisa rahega ye naam?" Sekhar asked looking at the kid

Before he could react , she saw her widened smile ' Sanskaar ..I like his name baba..its very nice ..Sanskaar..haina Maa.! She looked at her mother.,who in turn looked at kid before him wondering how would he react

"Mujhe bhi pasand hain " He nodded in agreement looking at one who made him bend his will twice ...willingly.

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Sekhar Gadodia is a named businessman in kolkata , Sharmistha his wife a bengali and with their kids they lived in Shanti Nivas - Justifying the name it was peaceful, their family was filled with joy and happiness.. Sekhar sharmistha, Sanskaar realised are loving and caring persons.Though accepted as one Sanskaar never considered himself to be a part of family ..he worked in capacity of servant .He insisted on staying in outhouse and would help sharmistha in household chores, getting vegetables and grocery, paying bills,polishing the shoes .. repairing holes on terrace , tending garden ,would take lunch to sekhar.They gave him a new life he would be always thankful for the same would do anything and everything in his capacity for them .. and above all there was Shona for whom he would die thousand times over.

From the first time he saw her..he felt her..he knew in his heart ,his world would center around her and it did..He know she would never be his and he didn't expect or even hope to be but what he felt for her was almost primal need for his survival..Without her his world would cease to exist.

An year passed....

Diwali

"This is for you laado .. this is for you Sujoy and this is for my shona .. Sekhar smiled looking at kids excitement on their new dresses for occasion of diwali . This is for Maa and this is for you" .he handed two covers to Sharmistha and looked around " Where is Sanskaar?" he asked not finding him around .

"Terrace pe lights laga raha hain baba .. mere saath hi tha.. Aapko dekh kae neeche aagaya main " answered Sujoy, Though reluctant first, Sujoy accepted Sanskaar ..and in few days he started liking him.In midst of his sisters guddi gudiya khel ,he found some one who loved cricket, action films just like him and he knew this guy cared for his family.

"Main bhula ti hoon" said Ragini "Nahi Swara butted in between "Sanskaar mera dost hain ..main bhoolaungi" she rushed to terrace not giving ragini a chance. She liked being around Sanskaar ..her best friend .He never talked much but would listen to all her bak bak while her siblings teased her saying 'chatter box' . He would make her swing from maa's saree when she wanted one. He carried her bag till gate inspite of protests "Shona this is heavy you will get tired" was all he would say ,He would get her aam from mango tree ..and do anything for her ..She just had to say .She also noticed he would smile only when she smiled..his smile was only for her ...and she loved all the attention he showered on her ..only her much to her sister's dismay and would get possessive sometimes with a feeling rooting in her heart and mind He is my Sanskaar ..Shona's Sanskaar.

"Sanskaar Sanskaar ..Chalo chalo baba bula rahe hain .. Swara pulled him down from terrace and he followed her chup chaap.

"Ye tumhare liye" Sanskaar looked overwhelmed not knowing how to react as Sekhar handed him over a cover " Nahi ..Main kaise .."he tried to protest. "Aaj main kuch nahi Sunne waala.." Sekhar replied strictly and smiled next minute " Diwali hain beta .. Khusi ka mauka hain ..Saara parivaar ke liye laaya tha ..and you are also a member of our family..if you accept or don't ..Le lo Acha lagega hame."

He simply nodded .. 'Sanskaar chalo ..main apna dress dikhati hoon ..Swara pulled him away from the crowd. Sekhar and sharmistha smiled looking at duo, .By now they are aware that Swara and Sanskaar shared a very special bond and they equally adored them.

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It was time when an ailment with symptoms that are close to scarlet fever has struck Kolkata. Characterised by high fever, sore throat and rashes it affected the kids between 3 to 10 years.There is no vaccine, but the disease is effectively treated with antibiotics.

"Shona ..Please ye dawai peele .Zid mat kar" .Sharmistha tried for umpteeth time but in vain. It started with rash on Swara's neck, followed by high fever and soon she was diagnosed with scarlet fever . She had become pale and weak ..but wouldn't take tonic which tasted bitter much needed for her recovery. And she heard how this would spread to anyone who would come closer to her as it would kill them .She wouldn't let anyone come near her ..would be adamant on not taking medicine .

Tired Sharmistha looked at Sekhar ' Gudiya ..Maa ki baat maanlo "

"Nahi Swara" nodded stubbornly . Watching from the door, Sanskaar stepped in " Mujhe dijiye .. Sanskaar took glass from Sharmistha's hand and stepped towards Swara,

" Sanskaar .. dekho mat aavo .. jaavo tum .." Swara tried fighting as he approached her bed .Ignoring all her attempts to push him away, he held her close.."chodo mujhe .. jaavo ..tum bhi bimar hojaavoge ..chodo Sanskaar" she tried to wriggle but his grip was stronger.

"Shona listen ..Jab tak tum dawai nahi leti I am not letting you go .. .. phir mujhe bhi aajayegi ..tab kaun khayal rakegha mera..Shona has to be strong right! ,for Sanskaar..Peelo "

She stopped wriggling and turned to look at him " You will die" she tried last resort to scare him.

" It would be before you" he replied in a absolute sure tone.She didn't understand a word of what he meant but it stirred something strong inside her. She had to drink medicine for him , He is stubborn like her she knew..the more time he held her, he will be close to risk of catching fever.

"Will you stay away if I take all medicines on time and drink this bitter thing" she asked giving in.

"I will ..now drink this " he gently lifted the glass to her lips, his one arm wrapped around her and she drank ..her eyes locked with his. He gently lowered her to bed and handed over the glass to Sharmistha leaving stunned Gadodia family behind and left the room in silence.

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As days passed Sekhar realised Sanskaar has sharp mind and has quick grasp of things.

"Padne jaaoge" Sekhar asked him once

"Nahi aap ke saath rehkar seekhunga" he replied

Sekhar slowly engaged him in business taught him dealings .When free he would teach Sanskaar to read and write .At house Sharmistha would teach him and Sanskaar proved to be good student.He would learn from Sujoy and Shona as well .Everyone in the family loved him except for Parvati,Mother of Sekhar ,Sanskaar totally ignored all her taunts on being annath and she never liked the love the family showered upon him and very soon Ragini was equally convinced Sanskar didn't deserve all the attention he would get and one other reason being ..the bond between Swara and Sanskaar which was sore sight for her to watch.

Years passed..and with every passing year bond between Swara and Sanskaar just blossomed further.

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"Kya hua Shona?" ..Sharmistha rushed to Swara who is back from school ..her dress and hair covered in dust and mud .. and her hand bleeding from a scratch .

"I just slipped Maa" ..Swara answered as sharmistha reached out to first aid box

"She's lying Maa .. Ragini came with her bag..Ignoring Swara's signals " She fought with boys in colony on way and they pushed her down".

"Shona ..ye raagu kya bol rahi hain ? ladko se jagada kiya ..kyu?" Sharmistha questioned her.

"Kyunki they were talking bad things about Sanskaar ..they were calling him bad names."

Sujoy walked equally muddy with few more scratches .."Shona, The one who pushed you down..I punched him in eye ..zindagi bhar yaad rakhega..Maa mujhe bhi dawa lagado please ."

Sharmistha looked at both of them clearly in disapproval "Why not? ..Let your baba come first .. ache se dawai laga denge aur to shona ..15 saal hi hogayi abhi bacho ki tarah ladayi jagade ..woh bhi ladko ke saath ..?"

Lekin Maa ..woh .. Swara tried reasoning out

"Who were they?" ... everyone turned towards voice and Sanskaar stood at door with murderous expression.For 18 years,Sanskaar looked more rugged than his counterparts.

He rushed to Swara ' "Did they hurt you?' He asked his with jaw taut, features rigid.

Sharmistha got grasp of situation "Enough of fights for the day ..No more..Sanskaar ,Did u get all the grocery items I asked you to get? Give me the bag.Shona, Sujoy first go have a bath ..and come back dawaai tab luvungi phir se .. Sanskaar tum chalo ,mere saath ..kuch kaam hain .. she dragged him inside.

"Did u see his eyes ? Sujoy turned to his sisters ," God! They were Red ..blood red and his muscles, Shona .. you better never say their names ..They will be dead"

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Swara slowly walked to outhouse and tapped on door. " Shona, Leave " his voice came and she knew he was angry. Gussa ho ? she asked in a softest tone possible

"I said leave..Don't irritate me!" He answered back closing the book in his hands

Equally stubborn ' No I won't" Swara barged into the room" Not done Sanskaar I fought for you and you are fighting with me..very bad."

"Did I ask you fight ? Sanskaar charged back "kya jaroorat thi jhansi ki rani ban ne ki .. you would have ignored them na agar kuch ho jaata tho .I got used to these taunts .kya farak padata hain Shona.." he turned back arranging his books in shelf

"Mujhe farak padata hai Sanskaar ..Swara turned him back holding his hand " I wouldn't let anyone talk bad about you ..and I will fight with anyone and everyone who will try to harm or hurt you.Samjhe tum! " Sanskaar stood stunned at conviction with which she spoke.

"Fine then have it your way ? Now .tell me who are they ?" he asked staring intently at her

"No ,I won't ' Swara replied folding her hands " You will go and hit them ..Right !"

"Wrong .. I will just kill them "

Now it was Swara's turn to get shocked ..He just made it sound so simple.. He would kill them ? "I knew it, Sujoy told me ..Are u mad Sanskaar.. Why would you kill them?"

"Because of same reasons Shona ..He stepped closer gripping her shoulders slightly " I will kill anyone or everyone who would try to harm you , hurt you in any way ,you better get that and next time you get into a fight, remember this..Samjhi!"

They stood closer to each other , just few inches away ,eyes holding each other in the place .Both felt shift of air between them...something different than usual.

Sanskaar quickly stepped back "ab bolo chot kaha lagi hain."

"Yaha .."she lifted her hand showing him bandaid near her elbow

"Dard horaha hai?' he held it gently

"Nahi tho .. Halki si chot hai ..theek hojayegi and you know what you should see how I punched one of them ..and ..their talk went on till they were called for dinner

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Few more Years passed .Sekhar didn't have any qualms in involving Sanskaar completely into his business. Sujoy never took interest in their khandani vyapaar ..they traded clothes .He was more interested in getting an MBA degree and start his career with an MNC.

Sanskaar would spend most of time with Sekhar. .They would leave in morning come back evening .. Sanskaar traveled if required, giving Sekhar required rest.He enrolled himself in evening college .Swara and Ragini enrolled themselves in in music college following their line of passion.

It was one of evening ..like usual when they took a walk down the lane in Garden

"Maa, Dadi kehte hain ki .. ab main tumse jyada nahi mil sakthi ..I mean I can't come to your place and we can't hang out much ... I mean" ..Swara looked clearly disappointed

"Teek keh rahi hain dadi aur maa.. You shouldn't be near me" He looked at her, found her face falling at that statement .He didn't want to hope may be she expected a different reaction from him, expected him to say something else which he is never gonna say.

They were no longer kids nor in teens . He was 23, she was 20 .As Swara transformed from girl into womanhood,Her golden orbs ,her sparkling laughter , her long hair which spilled over in waves ,her sublime features just made her more admirable and desirable.Their friendship always had been talk of their colony but then they were kids and now he knew the implications of rumors that would start floating in ..and he would die before he let that happen.He wouldn't let her taint neither with his friendship nor with his love.

He loved her ..he knew that , It was a flame that burned him from inside .Every moment he loved her, it was equally pleasurable and tormenting knowing Swara would never be his. She is too fine and too rare for "sadak chaap" like him .He didn't know if she loved him in return but he didn't want her to..never ever.

Rest of the distance ,they walked in silence

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Swara missed Sanskaar terribly as their time with each other was cut short. She could no longer fight with him , tease him, hit him ,lean on his shoulders casually, eat kulfi with him ..and many more moments .Dadi would strictly keep a watch .Most of time Sanskaar would be with Sekhar and she would be in her college.She missed the way he called her Shona .She missed the way he looked at her, his eyes admiring her, caring for her , their easy teasing banter ..She would see him once or twice at dinner time , in morning when he watered plants .. they would exchange a smile, few hi's and casual questions of how did the day go..and that's was end.

But she soon realised that was not him .. not the smile he gave for his Shona. The feeling that Sanskar was absolutely fine without her, left her restless and his indifference troubled her.She would watch at outhouse from terrace post dinner to catch a glimpse of him as she knew he has a habit of strolling in garden for a while ..but he hardly came out. He seemed to build barricades around himself which she felt impossible to penetrate

"You do miss me Sanskaar ,Don't you?" She would question, a question which never reached him.

Every moment without her was agony, and Every moment with her was only peace he ever felt..but he need to learn ...learn to live without her which seemed impossible but he tried, tried hard .He acted indifferent because one smile from her almost melted his defences. He was aware of her every glance, the longing in her eyes ...which scared him.

The only way out for him was to avoid her as much as possible..but he didn't realise his indifference towards Swara is what led to events aftermath.

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