Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

He still remembered that day at parlour how her touch burned him.Over next few days Sanskaar found himself in different situations stranded with Swara where they were left alone at least for few minutes to an hour.He recalled one instance when he had to pick her up from her classes when Sujoy ditched in last minute and he was left with no option. As she settled on his bike he remarked casually to hold tight ..and almost jerked both of them as he felt her hands around him in a tight hold and her innocent expression accompanied with "you asked me to do so " didn't make things any easier .Sanskaar decided he had enough of this torture ,he would probably kill them both if she was that close to him on bike .

Deciding to take a safe route ,he stopped midway and tried to hire an auto which swara stubbornly refused."Dada told you would drop me back home and I am going with you"

"Shona Zidd mat karo " Sanskaar tried but Swara was not ready to give in.

" Fine .. then stay ..I am leaving and I am not coming back" he moved towards his bike leaving her ,hoping she would give up .

"Fine then .. you made your choice, listen to mine" he halted hearing her and turned to look at her

"I am not moving an inch from here unless you pick me up and if you think I am gonna get scared and take an auto or any other ride ...It's not gonna happen .She met his eyes and held them " I go with you or I stay." She stood resolute as Sanskaar considered her for a minute then silently got back to his bike.In next minute it was before Swara ..his hand hardly gripping the clutch and bike was roaring .Not saying a word Swara got onto bike .. but she knew from his expression that he clearly disapproved her zidd. They rode back home in silence.

Swara decided to keep her distance for a while gauging his mood , and a bit puzzled on Sanskaar's reaction ...why he seemed to jump and repulsive on her touch even if that was an accidental brush of fingers. She wished it's because her proximity affected him as he held same feelings for her . She wondered if she had been pushing Sanskaar too much to accept his feelings ..and feared if things go other way around.May be she should have a word with her Dada.

Over next few days It wasn't hard for Sanskaar to figure out the ploy by Sujoy.. The pattern was evidently visible and he decided it's time for a talk.

"Will you say something Sanskaar? ..You said you wanted to discuss something important ..and it's been a while". Sujoy looked at Sanskaar who is walking besides him in silence.Sujoy didn't mind an evening walk in a park nearby when Sanskaar suggested the same ..it had been a familiar place from years ..especially the playtime in childhood ..but now his silence bothered him .

"I think you should stop whatever you are trying to do .. It's not going to work.' Sanskaar came straight to the point

Sujoy looked at Sanskaar quizzing "What are you talking about ?"

"You know it know sujoy .. all these days ..."Sanskaar paused for a while and continued "I mean me and Shona ..I am not an idiot not to figure it out."

Sujoy sighed ..Of Course he knew Sanskar would figure this out and they would have an discussion .After having a word with Shona few days back on her apprehensions he expected this talk.

"Well now since you figured it out Sanskaar... Let's talk straight .Shall we settle down here .." he pointed a stone bench few steps ahead of them and as Sanskaar nodded they moved towards the same and settled down.

Sujoy found no point in beating around bush and decided to keep it short and straight " We had to take this route because ...Shona loves you and I know you ...too .."

Sanskaar was quick to cut in between "No, She doesn't .. It's just that ...things have changed and we are no longer together like before . she is missing my attention and she's just assuming it to be .." Sanskaar paused ...It can't be ..and he didn't want it to be "Shona doesn't love me. ..She doesn't." he repeated to himself.

"Are u trying to convince me or yourself or have you already decided? " Sujoy ignored the glare of Sanskaar and continued " Well ,You know what Sanskaar ..from childhood I have been trying to decipher the equation between you and shona and none of us could figure it out yet .. . right from the time we were kids ..you and shona had a different equation ..your own world where there was no place for a third person ..you remember how Shona was so possessive about you.. Mera Sanskaar hai.. Shona ka Sanskaar hain .she never use to let ragini or other girls anywhere near you and you were no less as well ..

"I never did that" Sanskaar was quick to react. Possessive & He? ..No way .. Yes he hated guys lurking around Shona, giving her those love lost looks ,threw few punches on troublemakers but.. He was just being protective ..Wasn't he ?

"Oh! You never realized you were doing that. Sujoy smiled clearly enjoying his stint of enlightening Sanskaar and continued " You have always marked your territory around Shona ,if not with words with your gestures sending out clear message that Shona is yours.'

Sanskaar shook his head in disbelief and stared at Sujoy for a while "Did I really ...?"

" Yes ... and you would always decide what is good and bad for Shona... Shona Cycle dheere se chalaavo Gir Jaoge , Woh mat khaa vo ..tumhe sardi hojayegi.. Tumhe lagjayegi ,Shona ye mat karo. Woh mat karo..aisa karo ..and Shona use to willing oblige everything ..but this time I guess you are in for a fight." Sujoy smirked

"Fight ?" Sanskaar asked frowning a bit

"Yep ..with Shona ..She loves you and she's clear on that ..and you know how stubborn Shona can get if she is fixed on something .. aur ab toh baat uski Sanskaar ki hain ..and you think she's gonna let u go easily when she knows that you love her too."

"Doesn't matter Sujoy.. what I feel for shona has got nothing to do with.. ...

"It has got everything to do with it" Sujoy quickly snapped getting tired of Sanskar's denial mode.

He gently placed his hand on Sanskaar''s shoulders. " You have been fighting too much with yourself Sanskaar ...but often losing is better than winning."

Sujoy ..

"Sanskaar ..If you have been feeding yourself all this bullshit of you are not good for shona... Oh Cmon ! Now don't look at me like that .. I guessed that long ago ...If Shona feels you are good for her and she would be happy with you ...Give yourself a chance Sanskaar ..to be loved and to love...you deserve it."

Giving a friendly nudge.." Think about it..I will give you some time ..and he started to leave but turned back after few steps

"You have always been a family . I would love making it official .. Jijaji Sujoy gave him a quick wink and Sanskaar didn't even realise his lips curved up into smile and it widened as he heard him further "whoa I like the sound of it.. .."

Sanskaar stood for long after Sujoy left...reminiscing his words "a chance to love and be loved"

---------------------------------------------------

Swara watched her dada busy with his mobile .Seated on bed ..packing his suitcase she glanced at him for long.

"Dada ..."

Haan shona ... Sujoy lifted his eyes from mobile looked at his sister and immediately sensed sadness in her eyes. In next minute he was beside her " You are gonna miss me a lot right !"

Swara nodded yes .. and concentrated back on packing

"My dear behna ... I am going just for few months ..ab padayi bhi tho karni hain na" he gently nudged her shoulder " I am gonna miss you too Shona." .

Of Ragini and Swara .. Sujoy had always been close to Swara While Ragini was Dadi's Laado , her parchaai Swara was apple of eye for everyone else especially their Baba.

Dadi had been bad influence on Ragini he would say, in fact he would say Ragini blindly followed dadi's ideologies which he never found to be making sense .. gauging people on their status and background not caring about what beneath a person is, being selfish to the core and many more .

But Shona was different .. she never feared standing up for right things, Yes she is stubborn but only for right reasons ..not a hint of malice in her heart .. a pure sweet soul who would keep her loved ones above always .. she carried an innate goodness yet was so sensitive sometimes which would invoke protective instinct ...Her Baba , him had always been protective of her and of course Sanskaar .. No doubts that guy would take a bullet for her and wouldn't mind firing one for Shona .

Looking at her he realised she' almost at verge of crying " Oh Shona.. Come here " he took her into his arms offering a comforting hug ." Paagal ..I will be back before you realise ...aur phone karunga na ..

Hmm .. Swara nodded and drew back wiping her tears

"Acha suno ...mere wapas aane tak .. jijaji ko line pe rakh do .. kyu ?"

He noticed her smile but soon it turned grim " Pata nahi dada Swara walked and stared outside window not sure of what should be her next step towards sanskaar " Samaj nahi aa raha ki ab main kya karungi ... "

"Intezaar ...

Swara turned to look at her brother with a quizzical expression

"Thoda intezaar karo .. woh khud aayega ... hum bhi tho dekhe kitne din apne pyaar se bhagtha rahega...Tere lover boy ka dimaag na thoda out of track chal raha hain iss waqt .. I tried to knock some sense into him ...So let's see ..na na .. don't ask me ki kya baat huyi ..hamara secret hainJija aur saale ka he winked playfully drawing a smile from his sister."But jo bhi ho Shona .. Your Dada is always with you ..ab smile tho karo ..Swara smiled wider "Now that's like good girl ..he slowly wiped off tears trains off her cheek.

"Ab tum bhai behen ki baatein hogayi tho... neeche chale".Sharmistha came into room along with ragini

"Sirf baatein nahi maa ..inke tho secrets hote hain jo mujhse share nahi karte" Ragini expressed her displeasure. She silently hated the attention everyone would shower upon her little sister..only solace was Dadi loved her most

"Oh C!mon Ragini " Sujoy was quick to retort. "These days you don't have time for any of us other than your laksh ji..Haina ? and he smiled looking at ragini who is mortified with embarrassment.

"Dada ..please .aisa nahi hain .."

"Haan haan sab pata hai mujhe .".Sujoy continued his teasing session

Shramistha and Swara exchanged a smile watching Ragini blush .Ragini had been recently engaged to Laksh Maheswari ,son of Durga Prasad Maheswari ,one of business associates of Sekhar.

" Stop teasing her Sujoy " Sharmistha warned him " and here..I have packed some sweets and namkeen for you ." she handed him over few dabbas " This is for you and these are for your friends ..khabardar, saara doston main baant liya tho .. khud bhi kuch khaavo ..samjhe "

"Ji maate .. jaise aap kahe." Sujoy gave a mock salute to his mother.

Sharmistha hit him playfully "Itna nautanki karta hain ... chalo neeche." After bidding bye to his family ..Sujoy reached station with Sanskaar.

"Apna dyan rakhna"Sanskaar told looking at Sujoy who is about to board the train.

Sujoy nodded looking at Sanskaar " tum bhi" ..Sanskaar nodded and both shared a freindly hug ..

"I have nothing to worry Sanskaar because I know you will take care of everything over here ..But ...Sujoy paused for a while and continued "Think about what I said ..."..

Sanskaar simply nodded and watched Sujoy leave.

------------------------------------------------

For next few days Swara decided not to bother Sanskaar ,give him sometime and wait like her Dada said ..but she wondered would Sanskaar ever let her know about his feelings " woh khud aayega " she remembered her Dada's words " Will he ? "She hoped he would

Swara had no idea what discussion happened between her Dada and Sanskaar but she noticed considerable change in Sanskaar...he no longer tried to run away from her, no longer avoided her and sometimes he surprised her .

It was on a day when he picked her up as some transport strike had been going on ..Swara recalled the last instance when she had been too stubborn about going with him and he clearly didn't appreciate then . As she settled on the bike..he could clearly gauge her apprehensions from rear view mirror as she moved her hand back and forth from his shoulder in confusion...should she place it or not? What if he reacts like last time..what if ,..her thoughts took a break as she heard his voice " Hold me "

Huh? ..she asked wondering if she heard him right

"I don't want you to fall and break your head and you heard me Shona."

"Of Course I heard you... but last time you weren't so bothered about my head... were you?" Swara replied back and wondered did she hear him smile

Yes he did smile .. he always loved these silly fights with Shona.. And he remembered how he acted last time and now .. that must have ticked her off .All thoughts were shoved out of his mind as he felt her hand on his shoulder ..and the gentle pressure of it and other hand gently wrapped around him .He felt heat seep right through him but he didn't want to repel this time.. He wanted to feel it...and they drove back in silence ..and it had been a pleasant ride.

Like every night Swara strolled on terrace for a while her eyes drifting towards out house. The light was still on ...but he would never step out. She knew like always . After yesterday's ride she hoped things would change between her Sanskaar a bit ,may be it was too soon to expect . It was just a drop ...and may be he was really bothered about her head .After a while resigned Swara decide to it's time for her to leave .Her steps halted as she heard faint sound of door

Could it be ? not giving a second thought she rushed back and found Sanskaar .,the light in the veranda of outhouse cast enough light on his face.Dressed in sweatpants and a simple t shirt he looked ...Swara sighed and warned herself " Stop assuming it's for you . he wouldn't probably know you wait to catch a glimpse of him every night..he might have just stepped out for a stroll ..itna khush hone ki jaroorat nahi hai "

Should she call him or maybe wave hands ..or and her thoughts halted as well as her breath for a second as he looked straight at her ..like he sensed her. Swara stood frozen to spot unable to move a step ..it's like he held her captive just with his eyes .. Did he knew that she ?

Of Course he knew ..and he never stepped out though he longed to all these days. She would have no idea how much restraint he had to put in all these nights not to step out, just to catch a glimpse of her and how he suppressed the feeling of warmth the thought she was waiting for him .. but now ...something has changed in him he knew .He felt more liberated after his discussion with Sujoy and his words " If Shona feels you are good for her and she would be happy with you . .."

A chance wouldn't hurt ..would it ?Bracing himself finally he stepped out ..and was disappointed as he did not find her. May be he was late ...too late? He turned to leave, that's when he heard faint sound of anklets and he knew she was there ..right there

The light on terrace was enough for him to see her ..he had seen how her face lit up looking at him as he stood equally rooted..equally captivated ..not a word said and from that night it had been there daily routine ..

Swara was more than happy as she felt things falling into place ..the ease between them was back and she saw his eyes mirror the same feelings as of hers .

He had been fighting for too long ,been struggling with his feelings but now Sanskaar decided to stop fighting and just let them flow... if his love for swara was one extreme ruling his heart ..the feeling of he not being good enough for her ,had been an other extreme which he had been nursing for years in his mind and ,it wasn't an easy task to uproot something deeply imbibed in your mind and heart.

And then came the a day when in battle of head Vs heart ... he choose his heart hoping for a new start but ...it wasn't an easy route.

----------------------------------------------------------------.

"Oh Cmon Dadi .. Its date between ragini and laksh jiju ..main kya karungi .. Swara protested and Ragini joined her in protest

Lakhs planned a dinner date for ragini but dadi was not willing to send her laado alone. She didn't want to make peace with trends of new generation and stood adamant on her decision .

"Laado akeli nahi jaayegi ,.. Swara bhi jayegi saath nahi tho dono gahr pe beto .. ladka ladki aise shaadi ke pehle maare khaatu shyam ji .. aaj ka zamana .."

Sekhar and Sharmistha shook their heads as well Swara and Ragini

After lot of deliberations it was decided Sanskaar would accompany them as well assuring the safe return of both girls back home . Ragini was not so impressed with idea but she didn't have a way out .On other hand Swara happiness knew no bounds as she felt ..this would be much needed alone time for her Sanskaar ..and she looked forward for the evening .

Though Sanskaar was reluctant at first ..he finally gave in .SansKaar ,met Laksh few times as part of business dealings as laksh was actively being involved in his dad's business from past few months and they struck a chord. As Ragini informed Laksh about dadi's conidtion over phone laksh just smiled out ..

"Chill Ragini !that's ok . I will ask them to make it for 4 ."

Ragini opted for an indo western style salwar while Swara decided to go with crop top and long skirt , a classic black and white combination .As they stepped down Sanskaar and Laksh halted their discussion and turned to look at them .

.Swara almost felt she would stop breathing looking at Sanskaar. Just dressed in out and out black shirt and trousers ,he looked like million bucks who could give all top shot male models a run for their money .Laksh complemented Ragini with his eyes ...Sanskaar didn't have to say a word .. he had been smitten by Swara long back ..he found her beautiful in every way though he had to admit she looked totally stunning today ..her hair swept to a side, just flowed like waves over shoulder ..a simple chain and matching studs just added to her already alluring charm.

Laksh offered ragini his hand and guided her outside

"Chale?' Sanskaar looked at Swara and as she nodded they followed laksh and Ragini in silence

As they reached venue ..and led inside by hotel staff to their respective tables .Swara and Sanskaar noticed they had a separate table on their name

"Laksh Ye ..?"

"Cmon !Sanskaar you didn't think I was gonna make you both sit with me and Ragini ..I am sure Swara wouldn't mind.." he looked at Swara who nodded her head bemusedly.

"Lekin ... Sanskaar halted his protest as he felt Swara nudging his hand

It's ok jiju ... enjoy your dinner date .. aur Sanskaar "she muttered slowly .."tum please mere saath chalo and not giving him a chance she pulled him along with her.

As they settled at their table .."what's wrong with you Sanskaar? Swara charged at Sanskaar

"Maine kya kiya .. dadi ne kaha na ..."

"Chup karo..Dadi ne kaha ..ek tho hum alredy kabab main haddi bane huye hain aur tumhe unn do ke beech main jaake betna hain?"

Sanskaar nodded no and directed his concentration towards menu ...

Looking at him Swara sighed "ye ladka kabhi nahi sudhrega ..iska main kya karun" she murmured under her breath.It had been an silent dinner with Swara trying to figure out how to brouche their topic ..and then music floated in ...Done with dinner Swara watched couples joining dance floor she smiled looking at Ragini and Laksh who looked equally smitten by each other.

"Kitne cute lag rahe hain na dono .." Swara pointed to Sanskaar and got a nod as answer .Her patience wearing thin Swara decided she had enough " "Kya hua sanskaar .. tum itna chup kyu ho?"

"I don't know Shona .. It's just that .. I am feeling odd .. ye sab..."

All this felt new for him and swara sensed that's the reason he had been acting weird.Not saying a word Swara held his hand " Chalo mere saath.."

"Lekin kaha? .. aur laksh ragini...Sanskaar expressed his concern

"Woh dono busy hain .. offo chalo na Sanskaar .".she pulled him along with him and he willingly obliged.. Anything to get out of this place

After a while they found themselves in hotel's garden seated on steps of gazebo .Her feet free from stilettos ..his from boots ..their feet touching the grass on lawn,her hand laced through his hand as she gently leaned onto his shoulder ..

"I missed us Sanskaar" she whispered relishing this lost moment of theirs. He gently lowered his head, his chin resting on top of her head "Maine bhi"

Lost in moment .. swara sighed contentedly ..wish we could dance too .. he heard her say.

"I ruined this night for you ,didn't I ?" Swara eyes flew open at mild censure in his tone.She didn't like the way it sounded ..his self accusatory tone .Withdrawing from his shoulder she stared at him for a minute and next minute she was on her feet ..

"Kya hua ?' He asked and saw her extend a hand ...he placed his hand in hers stood up wondering what was she planning now

"let's dance ..."

"Shona ..you know I can't .." before his protests could complete they were standing in middle of gazebo ..he found her arms placing his hand around her waist.. and he didn't even realise how smoothly they slid around her in a gentle hold .. he realised her hands were wound around his neck...and they were dancing .With moonlight and cool breeze lenting much needed serenity ..their hearts thumping against each other in unison , lost in each other's eyes ..they didn't feel need of music. He felt hypnotized looking into her golden eyes..and he never wanted to pull away neither she and they moved together like in trance ...

"Hold me close" ..he heard her whisper and instinctively he pressed her close leaving no space between them. Swara felt warmth rushing to her cheeks as she grew aware of his hard toned body pressed onto her every curve.Her hands played around his nape caressing his hair with soft gentle strokes . Sanskaar felt his heart pounding .. the familiar ache he felt for her rushing through him.

"Shona ...he wanted her to stop before it's too late

"Shhh...he felt her fingers on his lips and every sane thought flew out his mind.It's like she casted a spell on him leaving him helpless and every word was more like a whisper ..

"Tum mujhse itni dur chale gaye sanskaar.?"

He sensed pain in her voice but could he ever tell her its because

"Because I love you .. I love you so much that it scares me his heart shouted out , ignoring he decided to stick with what his mind said"Kyunki Shona..kabhi dooriyan bhi jaroori hote hain ...aur kuch faasle kabhi ther nahi kiya jaata.."

As they swayed gently..he felt her fingers caressing his cheek ..."Aur aisa koi faasla nahi ... jo pyaar ther nahi karsakta."

Pyaar..all these days it had been unspoken word between them ..a forbidden feeling which none voiced out ..It was easy to live assuming she never loved him ..

"Sanskaar ... ." she leaned closer .. and he leaned too like he doesn't have a say ..now her forehead pressed against his ...he wished he could freeze time at this moment .

"Mujhe tumse kuch kehna tha Sanskaar "

"Kya .?"

"I ...Lo..."

"Sshhh .."she felt his fingers on her lips his thumb caressing them gently .He didn't want to hear her say those words ... " Please shona" He murmured.."aisa kuch mat kaho jiske wajah se mere jeena aur mushkil hojayega...I ...I don't want you to love me..don't."

"Kyu?"

He didn't answer ..and he heard her question him again.He lifted his forehead and now they were eye to eye ...

"Kyu Sanskaar ?"

"Kyunki I am not right for you Shona ...You deserve someone who would treat you like princess ..who would give you world's every comfort and who knows who he is .. what his identity is not some like me who is ..." His voice trailed off as he broke apart turning back " "who is a..."

"And you think all this matters to me ?mujhe in sabse koi farak nahi padta Sanskaar...main ..."

"Lekin mujhse fark padta hain Shona" he turned back to face her "iss duniya ko farak padta hain .. I have heard enough taunts all my life ..I don't want you to be part of this...part of my world "

So this was the problem ..He felt he was not good enough for her .Only if he knew being with him and being loved by him would fill her with whole world's happiness ...but she knew how stubborn he can be ..she is too ..."

"Why don't let me decide which world I want to be part of ..I want to be with you Sanskaar" . She gently reached out to him and felt the warmth of holding him.." I don't need anything else ..just you and ...

He jerked away ... "Tumne suna nahi maine kya kaha .. Just stay away from me ...Just stay away...I don't want you with me "

Hurt pooled in her eyes ...but she was too stubborn to let tears spill away ..it stings every time he pushed her away ...it stung badly."This is other way around isn't it ? " she questioned trying to hold back her tears .

"What are you talking about?" he questioned not quite getting her meaning

"The truth is .. I am not good enough for you .. isnt it ? and she saw his expressions change but she didn't want to stop .. she endured enough of this torture. He should know how it felt " I have been trying in hundred ways to let you know how I feel for you ..made it evident in every possible way ... I have been literally throwing myself at you all these days but ...the tears spilled now in a stream ".Now I get it ...I am just not good enough...

Sanskaar stared at her in horror what rubbish is she talking .. all this while he had been trying to explain and he can't let her ridicule herself for his indifference and it triggered him that she could even think that way ...

"Are u mad Shona " he charged gripping her shoulders " do you even realise ...you are not good enough for me ?... really shona!His hands pulled her closer " you don't know thing about what you are to me ..damn it .. ... Sanskaar ki duniya uski shona se shuru hota hain ,ussi par khatam hogi..those moments when you are with me are the the ones I live .. and every moment without you is nothing but a hell to me ..and here you say you are not good enough for me ..."

"Do you love me ?" She asked through tears and her tears stung him hard, hard enough to let his feelings out .

"Haan pyaar karta hoon main tumse ... I love you ...yahi sun na tha na tumhe ..suno ..I love you.

Time stood still for few moments .

"Aur itna pyaar karta hoon ki kabhi darr lagta hain..ye pyaar meri jaan le le gi ..Darr lagta hain tumhare kareeb aane se .. kyunki jab tum mere paas hote ho, aisa lgata hain ki main paagal hojavunga ..jab tum mujhe chooti ho .. I feel like my body is on fire... damn it .. aur main aisa kuch na kardu ..ki ... tumse dur nahi reh sakta .. tumhare pass nahi aa sakta .. do u know how it feels...oh! you have no clue about what I go through ... I ..

His words died down the moment he felt her lips sealed with his ...he stiffened ..stood rooted trying to process what was happening ...but all he could feel was whirlwind of sensations running through him ..he could feel wetness on her cheeks ..the sweetness on her lips ...her delicate fingers stroking his cheek ... this has to stop ...stop

He stepped back stared at her in confusion ..not able to make sense of anything around him ..it felt dazed ...and she stood there staring at him and all she said was

"You asked me not to say the words ...I didn't ..but may be I should ...I

Next minute all she could feel was, she was in his arms and he was kissing her ...it was fierce knocking off her every sense ..it was just him.. his one hand grabbing her waist ..other hand locked in her curls ..his lips doing all delicious things she ever dreamt off .. and she was melting like liquid fire in his hands ..now she knew when he talked about how a touch could burn and she wanted more .. she clung on to him and kissed him back with equal fervor .As he sought the entrance she willingly parted letting him in,as his tongue stroked hers ,locked for duel ..she grabbed fist full of his collar trying to hold on to him ..moulding herself.

He drew back for second ..his hands now moving to cup her face.. his eyes dark and deep...his lips just an inch away from her and she could feel them brushing against hers in a gentle whisper "You will ruin me one day ..I guess this is the day ..and he kissed her again.