NAGLALAKAD ako papalabas ng gate. Matapos ang nangyari kanina sa klase, hindi ko na nakaya pang pumasok sa mga susunod. Parang pinipiga ang puso ko. I've been living all alone, pero para bang mas lalo kong naramdamang mag-isa lang ako nang tuluyan na akong iwan ni Aizelle.

Napatigil ako sa paglakad nang may nakita akong pamilyar na tao. Sandali, hindi ako pwedeng magkamali. How can he do this to Aizelle?

Umakyat ang dugo sa ulo ko at hindi ko namalayang susugurin ko na ng suntok ang lalaking iyon. Ang lakas makipaghalikan sa ibang babae samantalang may girlfriend siya. Hindi ko sana siya susuntukin kung hindi si Aizelle ang girlfriend niya, eh.

"Tangina mo, gago ka!" Malakas na suntok ang natanggap ng kaniyang mukha.

"What the hell! What is that for‽" sigaw ng walanghiyang Aien na ito.

"Nagtanong ka pa? That's for cheating!"

"What? With who? Ha?" natatawa niyang tanong, habang pinupunasan ang labing dumudugo.

"With who? Bobo ka pala, eh! Ang lakas mong lokohin si Aizelle! You have girlfriend and yet you're kissing someone else‽"

"At ano naman sa 'yo? Bakit may magagawa ka ba? Baliw na baliw na sa 'kin ang best friend mo! Sa tingin mo ba maniniwala siya sa 'yo kapag sinabi mo sa kaniya ang tungkol dito? "

And there I remember, Aizelle and I are no longer best friends. She would probably not believe me.

Tinapik niya ako sa balikat. "Grow up, baby boy. You can be happy like me. More ladies, more fun. Paano? Maiwan na kita. And this is for punching me."

Binawian niya ako ng malakas na suntok sa mukha at alam kong dumudugo na rin ang ibabang labi ko.

"I'm not a baby boy, asshole!" I gritted my teeth. "You are!"

Days passed and I decided not to tell everything to Aizelle. Aien is right, she wouldn't believe me. Magmumukha lang akong tanga sa harap nila kapag ginawa ko 'yon. Magmumukha akong kontrabida kaya siguro, mas magandang umiwas na lang ako. Hahayaan ko na lang si Aizelle kung saan siya masaya.

"To be honest with you, Evan, lumalala ang sakit mo. You need to puncture this insulin whenever you finished eating every meal. You also need to go here weekly to check up your status. Hangga't maaari nga sana every three days or daily. I am worried about you, son."

Ngumiti ako. Kahit kailan talaga tinuring niya na akong parang anak. "Don't worry, Doc. I'll be fine as long as you're taking good care of me."

Nagpaalam na ako sa private doctor namin. Yes, meron kaming sariling doctor dahil nga sa genetic disease namin. Simula pa yata sa kalolo-lolohan ko, may doctor na rito sa hospital na 'to na nag-mo-monitor sa family namin.

I'm thankful na kahit nasa ibang bansa ang mga magulang ko to undergo such medications, hindi nila ako pinababayaan at may doctor pa ring narito para sa akin dahil nagpumilit akong mag-stay rito sa Pilipinas.

Suddenly my phone rang and I saw Tita Mau's name. I immediately answered it. "Yes, tita?"

"Can you come over? I don't know what to do with Aizelle. She's in her room simula pa kagabi at ni isang beses hindi ko siya nakitang lumabas ni kumain. All I hear is her sobs, Evan. Please go here and ask her problem."

Sa pag-aalala ko, hindi ko namalayang dumulas 'yong bote ng insulin sa kamay ko. Iniisip ko kung babalik pa ba ako kay Doc o uunahin ko si Aizelle. But I don't have much time. Paano kung may masamang nangyari kay Aizelle? I let my foot run to my car and go to Aizelle. Shit, bakit pa ba ako nagdalawang-isip? She's worth more than anything.

"Finally, you're here, Evan! Go and see, Aizelle," salubong sa akin ni Tita Mau. Dali-dali akong umakyat sa kwarto ni Aizelle. Kumatok ako. "Aizelle, this is Evan. Are you there inside? Can you please open the door for me?" malambing kong tanong.

"What are you doing here‽ We're not best friends anymore, right? Bakit ka pa nandito‽" rinig kong sagot niya sa likod ng pintong ito.

"Aizelle, open your door and tell me what your problem is."

"Why would I‽ Para tawanan ako at sabihang tanga? No way! Kapag nalaman mo ang sitwasyon ko siguradong mamaliitin mo ako. Ganiyan ka naman, eh! Wala kang emotional intelligence. Paniguradong ipagmumukha mo lang kung gaano ako katangang magmahal! Palibhasa wala kang puso," rinig kong sigaw niya.

Right, I don't have it anymore, because it is in your hands now.

"The hell, Aizelle, why don't you just open the door‽ Bingi ka ba? I am here to listen! Nandito ako palagi para sa 'yo! Paano mo nasasabi 'yan?" Patuloy kong kinakatok ang pinto niya ngunit hindi talaga niya ako pinagbubuksan. "Isa! Sisirain ko 'tong pinto kapag hindi mo pa ako nilabas! Hindi mo magugustuhan kapag pinasok kita!"

Akmang tatadyakan ko na nang marinig ko ang yabag ng mga paa niya. The door slowly opened and I saw her face full of sorrow.

"See? Kailangan ba palagi akong pagbantaan? Can't you just leave me alone?"

"I'm sorry. I can't just leave you alone, Aizelle. Tell me, what happened?"

She suddenly wrapped her arms around my waist and placed her head on my chest. Bagay na ikinabigla ko. I want to push her away. I don't want her to hear my heart now beating faster because our skin just simply touches. God, this is insane.

"I was wrong, Evan. I-I thought he was the one but he cheated on me. I saw him with another girl. I confronted him but he denied me for being his girlfriend in front of many people. He said I was just an obsessed girl who wished for him as my boyfriend. He even laughed at me and insulted me."

I patted her back, trying to comfort her. There's nothing else on my mind than to kill that guy who hurt this lady of mine. If I have enough courage to tell her what I really feel for her or just at least make her forget about that guy, ginawa ko na. Wala, eh.

All I can do is just wipe her tears with my bare hands and be her teddy bear when she needs someone to hug. That's all I am- just a teddy bear.

I want to tell her that that's the best thing that's happened to her. Na sa wakas, break na sila ng gagong yon at malaya na siya, but I guess it's not the right time to crack a joke. I am afraid that her anger toward that guy will pass on to me. And probably she will take her arms around me, and I don't want that to happen. I am longing for this moment.

If only she knew.

I am in love with the way she chooses my chest to be a pillow whenever she cries.

"Thank you," she uttered, while she's still between my arms.

"For what?"

"For lying. I heard that you tell my mother that I was in your house when in fact I'm not."

"Ah, right."

"And thank you for being here and comforting me. I'm sorry for all of the things I've said, Evan. Can we be best friends again?"

Masakit na salita, but just like before, I answered her, "Of course," before flashing a smile.

***

"SAAN mo gustong kumain?" she asked.

"Anywhere."

"Really? Then later, pumunta ka sa i-se-send kong address. May sasabihin ako sa yong importante, ha?"

"Sure." Ngumiti ako 'tsaka siya pinagmasdan. Hindi ko mapigilang tingnan siya habang nakikinig sa professor namin.

Dumating ang uwian at nagpaalam na siya sa 'kin. Ang sabi niya i-se-send niya na lang daw 'yong address at mauuna na siya roon. Ako naman itong excited na excited at hindi makapili ng damit.

Umupo muna ako sa study table ko at sinubukang pakalmahin ang sarili. May napansin akong nakasingit sa hanay ng mga libro ko. Notebook?