Emerson Jenkins

Yesterday was one of the first days I didn't drown out my trauma and pain with alcohol. Instead, some boy found me on my tread back to the common room. After I stormed out of there with my heart beating a thousand beats per minute, Mina followed to see what was wrong.

I told her how Cal's words had triggered memories of the night he left. She knew what I was talking about because she was the only one who really knew what went down that night. Somehow I was able to convince her to go back to our friends and let me calm down. Once she left, my feet found their way to the courtyard.

Or the large wooden canopy just outside of the school, near the courtyard.

It was still pouring rain but I needed a smoke to relieve the stress coursing through my body. There were only a couple of moments of silence before a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me close. Thinking it was Cal, I leaned into his touch for comfort. But it wasn't Cal.

It was the other boy who hadn't seemed to ditch me just yet.

Ash.

"Want to come back to my dorm?" he asked.

I nodded, putting out my cigarette and following him. Asher had always been my distraction from all the noise in my head. He was enough to make the negative thoughts disappear for a couple of minutes. Sometimes hours. Depending on my mood and how fast he managed to piss me off.

Last night went well. I spent the rest of the evening with him watching Sherlock Holmes and eating popcorn after we made out for the first thirty minutes.

Brooks walked in a couple of hours later after I disappeared from the common room. Mina texted me saying that he had disappeared a couple of minutes after me. I wondered where he could have gone since he hadn't been here the whole time. Ash asked me if Brooks had given me the thing Mina had asked him to give to me.

My brows furrowed with confusion and he reiterated by saying that Brooks texted him asking for my dorm number earlier that day because Mina gave him something to give me. If Brooks had stopped by my dorm I had no idea. Plus, Mina would have just given whatever she needed to give me directly to me. She wouldn't ask Brooks.

If she did, she would have texted me about it but she never said a word about anything. Deciding not to push the subject, I just replied with a yes.

When the tall brunette boy walked into the dorm later that night, he looked mildly annoyed when he noticed me and his roommate in bed together. He was ready to go to bed so for his sake, Ash and I tried to keep our voices down for the rest of the night. I didn't even realize that I fell asleep until I woke up this morning with Asher lightly snoring in my ear.

Now, I sat in a terribly awkward silence a couple of hours later as Kai and I waited for Mina to join us in the courtyard. The rain had calmed down today so we were finally able to return to our usual hang-out spot. Mina invited Kai and me outside today to hang out but she was obviously running late. She'd never purposefully leave me alone with Kai. Not since we fell off at least.

Kai looked down at the time on his phone and sighed softly. It was ten minutes after we had all agreed to meet and there hadn't been an ounce of conversation. Well, I did ask him where Mina was when I got here to which he responded, "Not here yet."

That was it.

Kai and I could be civil. We had been for months. Sure he'd make a small, petty remark every now and then but it was rare. He was a man of very, very few words and he wasn't hotheaded. Not unless he had to be. I was a bitch but I left Kai alone. He never did anything to make me hate him. Do I like him? Not necessarily. But that's just because he doesn't like me.

At this point, our relationship is probably unfixable. There is no chance in hell we would ever be able to go back to where we were before. He, Mina, and I were the best of friends and Kai treated me like his younger sister. He was always protective over Mina and me. We were the first two he'd defend in any situation.

Most of the time, he was defending me. Mina never really did anything wrong. What makes me physically sick is that he would even defend me over him.

Yet, here we are.

He who shall not be named may not be here anymore but Kai took his side over mine.
And now, he's basically just my acquaintance.

Which is weird considering I know everything about the guy and he knows everything about me.

Kai looks at me like I'm a delusional bitch who only thinks about herself. He has ever since I made guy who shall not be named 'leave' Havenpoint. Which is bullshit by the way. He left on his own terms. If Kai really knew him, then he would know just how much he always talked about leaving Havenpoint.

My old friend here seems to think that his old bestie was some angel. He looked up to the guy despite them being the same age. Kai always said he was like the brother he never had. Thinking about that makes my chest hurt.

If only he knew.
But he can't know. He won't ever know.

Even if that means him hating me so be it.
Keeping secrets has always been easy for me anyway.

"Sorry, I'm late!" Mina's voice caused both of our heads to turn in her direction. She dropped her school bag on the stone bench and placed a muffin in front of Kai and one in front of me. Chocolate chip for him and blueberry for me. Our favorite. "I stopped by the dining hall to grab some muffins and tea."

Mina had the biggest smile on her face like always as she sat down. Kai eyed the muffin carefully. Kind of like he didn't want it. But thanked her for it anyway. I did the same and took a bite out of mine. It was yummy as always.

The three of us went over an assignment we had for the same class before Mina helped Kai with his maths homework. They were both extremely smart but Mina had always excelled in maths. I knew this because when me and Kai both had the same maths class last year and would struggle, Mina would always help us.

While they did that, I finished up my homework. Despite my I-dont-give-a-shit attitude, school is something I've always been good at. Homework, while dreadful, is easy for me. I may not be as smart as Mina but I think I do pretty alright.

My phone vibrates next to me and I lean over to read the message. It's from Lacey.

Lace: hiiii, are you with Mina? she's not responding to her texts, grrr.

Emmy: yep. in the courtyard with her.

Lace: ouuuu close by, be there soon xx

Two minutes later, the blonde girl joined us, catching Mina by surprise as she plopped down next to my best friend. "Hiii, girls! And Kai," Lacey cheered, setting her school bag down on the ground.

"Oh, hi Lace," Mina smiled, giving her a side hug. Kai barely acknowledged the blonde, raising his brows at her slightly before returning his attention to the laptop in front of him.

Lacey babbled to Mina — or more like whisper-babbled — for a good ten minutes while Mina worked on an essay. She nodded to what our blonde friend was saying, always better at multitasking than most people. Mina also wasn't easily distracted so Lacey's rant didn't take any of her attention away from her homework.

Kai and I worked on our work individually but unlike Mina, I was easily distracted and Lacey only seemed to talk louder and louder. Over time, I figured out what she was telling Mina. See I liked her but Lace was kind of a follower. Especially a follower to my best friend who she always paraded around like a lost puppy.

Everything Mina said, Lace agreed with.

Anything Mina did, so did Lace.

Maybe it's because after her two besties left our friend group, she somehow decided to stay. Honestly, that shocked me. She was closer to them two than she was to us yet here she was.

She would try a little too hard around some of us and I don't know if I was the only one who noticed.

"But he did promise he'd see me tonight. After rugby practice." Lacey had a small smile on her face. "He's been so nice lately, Mina. I feel like it's moving in the right direction now after our little...disagreements."

Kai seemed to be listening now too. Lacey wasn't being as quiet as she was in the beginning. It was like she wanted all of us to know about her escapades with Reggie McKay, the rugby team co-captain.

He's like a worse version of Rowan in the fuckboy genre. The amount of girls he's been with is incredulous and I'm kind of sad that Lacey is falling for his trap. Then again, she is naïve when it comes to boys. Mina tries to support her in whatever decision she makes boy-wise but we both know her choices in men are terrible.

Like the bar is in hell terrible.

While he's usually stoic with his features, Kai holds a certain look on his face. I can't tell if it's confusion, disinterest, or annoyance. His brows are pulled together and he stares right at Lacey. "Are you that stupid?" he asks.

Her head whipped in his direction and Mina looked up from her laptop at him too. "Kai," she mumbled at him.

Lacey stared back at Kai with the same expression he wore. "What?" she questioned, clearly confused.

"Reggie McKay is not going to be your boyfriend, Lacey. He's fucking playing you and I feel bad for you because he isn't even worth it. You're too pretty to be wasting your time on some bloke like that," Kai announced.

My eyes widened in surprise. I mean he isn't wrong. He's just not the type to say something like that.

Lacey's brown eyes widen too as she opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Mina doesn't say anything either, staring at Kai with a blank expression.

"Well- he- ugh! It's none of your business! He likes me, he does! I'm not stupid and I wouldn't be around if he didn't!" Lacey stood up from the bench and grabbed her bag. "Can't I just be happy for once without being judged?" she mumbled, beginning to walk away.

Kai lifted himself from the stone bench slightly to grab the blonde girl's wrist. She looked at his hand on her wrist then at him. "I'm not just spewing shit, Lacey. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't have said anything. But it's you," Kai told her, his eyes never once leaving hers.

Lacey didn't take her eyes off him either, swallowing thickly before slowly sliding her hand out of his hold. "Okay," she whispered before leaving anyway. Kai watched her movements for a second before turning back to his laptop.

Mina finally sighed. "Why can't you just let her be happy? She really likes Reg. Always has."

Kai looked up at Mina with an expressionless look. "She likes guys like him. Which is why she's always being used, Mina. I thought you cared about her enough to tell her to open her eyes. Seems like I'm the only logical person here." He started putting his things up, shutting his laptop with force.

Mina tried to respond but she failed to come up with anything in response and Kai left us alone. "What sticks up his ass?" I questioned, watching the tall, dark-haired boy walk away. Mina took a bite out of the uneaten muffin he had left behind. It was probably cold by now.

"Did you agree with what he said?" my best friend asked, ignoring my question.

Yes.

"I hate to say it but, yeah. Lacey's a ditzy bitch when it comes to boys. Well, I can't judge her too hard because I am too," I admitted.

Mina's eyes widened and she slapped my arm. "Don't say that! She's our friend," she whispered even though no one was around.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I insulted myself too. But she's dumb in a different way than I am. Kinda like Sascha Michels."

Her brows furrow. "Why did you say her full name?"

"Because saying her full name makes it seem like she's a random girl I don't know."

"Huh. I guess. But Sascha isn't like Lacey at all. I don't think so," Mina replied and I tilted my head at her like really.

They used to be friends for a reason. Of course, they're similar.

"That girl fell into Ro's sleazy trap and you think she's not stupid?" I asked, huffing.

Mina's face flushed a deep pink before she shook her head at my statement. "It's different with them. Sascha and Rowan were friends so she knew him. A random girl falling for his...charm is concerning but they were friends," she explained.

My brows furrow at her statement and I feel my cheeks get hot. More from anger than embarrassment. "Why are you defending Sascha Michels?" I questioned.

Mina's eyes widened. "I'm not defending her! All I'm trying to say is that Lacey is nothing like Sascha. We need to support her, Emmy. She's our friend. She didn't have to stick around, you know?"

The little reminder makes my chest hurt. Mina was right. I think we were all shocked when Lacey decided to take our side over her ex-besties during our fallout. It was like we were all just so sure she'd take their side but she didn't. She stuck around us instead.

Lacey and me may not be the closest but I still do care about her. She's the epitome of sunshine just like Mina which might be why they get along so well. While she can be a chatterbox, she's the nicest and most sincere person I've met. I'll never tell her that to her face though.

"I'm just being honest, okay? Reggie McKay is not the best choice. Not just for her but for anyone. Please stop her before he just fucks her and then kicks her to the side," I said.

Mina sighed deeply and shook her head. "Are you okay?" she asked me, catching me a bit off guard.

I nodded. "Dandy. Why?"

"Just asking. I wanted to stick by you yesterday but you kind of pushed me away," Mina admitted.

That was nothing new. I'd done it a hundred times before. "Sorry. Don't worry, Ash was able to get me out of my funk," I told her, rubbing her shoulder gently.

A small smile crossed her lips. "Oh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing like that. We're just..." Friends? Definitely not. But I didn't like that Mina was considering our change in relationship. Ugh. Even that word doesn't sound right. Our agreement. Yeah, that's better. "Two people who sometimes spend time together."

"Okay, I believe you but if it is more..."

"It's not."

"Well if it is," she pauses, "I don't think it should be. He's kind of an arse."

My eyes widen somewhat as it's rare to hear my best friend curse even a small word like ass. "Kind of is an understatement, Meen. He's a piece of shit," I shrugged, taking a bite of my muffin. I knew this better than anyone and I was surprised he hadn't started to bother Brooks. Asher is a bit like me in the sense that he doesn't like new people.

He sticks close to the people he met when he first arrived at HP. There's never been a time when he's gotten along with one of his roommates. I'm just waiting until he starts complaining about Brooks.

"I don't think I can disagree with you on that one," she said, taking a sip from tea.

No one can. Not even the most civil girl I know.