Ivy sat with Peralta and Boyle in the break room, an untouched mug of black coffee sitting idly near her hand as it slowly went cold.

Captain Holt was in his office, where he had been for over forty minutes, discussing the case updates, and Ivy's conflict of interest, with Geoff Murray and, likely, other NYPD and FBI higher ups.

Ivy stared at the dark liquid in the mug, feeling nauseous, the same way she felt upon first seeing the locket. She felt further uneasy by the fact she'd had a panic attack for the first time in over a decade, on the job and in public. She wanted to do nothing more than to leave the precinct building, retreat to her rental apartment, and bury herself in the comfort of the overpriced sheets with a slew of takeout boxes around her.

Jake and Charles sat with her so she wouldn't be alone, discussing random topics, which they seemingly had a lot of, in an attempt to distract Ivy. Even though it wasn't working, she appreciated the gesture.

There was a knock at the door, and Sergeant Jeffords' bald head poked inside the break room. "Peralta, Boyle, Captain would like to see you."

Jake and Charles glanced uneasily at each other, and then offered sympathetic smiles to Ivy.

"It'll be fine," Peralta said, flashing an overly expressive smile.

Ivy knew it would not be fine. In her mind, she was already back at LaGuardia, waiting for a plane to take her back to Washington, where she'd likely end up on extended desk duty due to her anxiety attack, until they determined that she was mentally fit to return to duty.

Sergeant Jeffords sat in front of Ivy as Jake and Charles left, and she couldn't help but wonder if the nine-nine was afraid to leave her alone. Did they see her as some broken little girl, who could implode at any minute? Did everyone still see her as the fragile ten-year-old that discovered her aunt's murdered body?

Her parents, her mother, in particular, still blamed themselves for what happened. If only Vivienne had gone up to the door that day, instead of sending Ivy. If only their eldest daughter hadn't discovered her favorite aunt sprawled out on the kitchen floor with a halo of blood around her.

Ivy didn't blame them in the slightest, and she'd told them countless times. Still, the guilt was there, and she was fairly certain it was the reason she wasn't as close with her mother and father as her siblings were.

She still remembered it, every detail.

The feel of the daisy bouquet in her hand, the sound of her mary-janes squeaking on the linoleum. The excitement in her heart as she looked forward to a day with her aunt.

The metallic scent of the blood as it hit her nostrils, reminiscent of the time she'd gotten a bloody nose playing soccer. The contorted position of her aunt's body as it had fallen on the kitchen floor, in the most unnatural position Ivy had ever seen a human being. The blood ... so much of it. No longer red, the way she remembered it from the aforementioned nose bleed, but almost maroon. The way it had dried into her aunt's clothes, and crusted on the white tile floor.

She'd done everything in her power to push it from her mind, from the moment it had happened, but it'd never budged. After years of therapy, Ivy had simply learned to deal with it.

Dr. Taft told her that trauma affected people in millions of different ways. There was no right way to go through it.

Shit. Dr. Taft. Ivy would have to tell her what happened.

Terry cleared his throat, drawing Ivy's attention back to him. She'd almost forgotten he was in the room with her. It wasn't like he was an easy man to miss.

"Agent Auden, can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

Ivy glanced at the untouched coffee, then back at Terry, and shook her head. "No thank you."

He nodded, giving her an awkward smile. "Do you, umm, have any children?"

Ivy almost laughed at his comedic attempt to start small talk. She couldn't remotely begin to imagine herself as a mother.

"No, I don't," she replied coolly. "Do you?"

He nodded, a genuine grin filling his face. "I do. Three girls. A set of twins, Cagney and Lacey, and our baby, Ava."

Ivy's face twitched into a semi-smile. "Cagney and Lacey," she repeated. "Like from the show?"

Terry nodded enthusiastically, reaching for his phone, likely to show Ivy pictures of the girls that she didn't particularly want to see. She'd oblige him anyway, because Terry was a nice man.

He slid over his phone, showing her an image of two identical young girls, each wearing party hats. "The twins on their birthday last year. The babysitter let them watch WWE, and Cagney wouldn't stop putting Lacey in a headlock."

Ivy smiled again, however briefly, before saying, "My sister used to do that to our younger brother."

"You have siblings?" Terry asked.

Ivy hadn't meant to divulge personal information to Sergeant Jeffords -- she wasn't in New York to make friends. She was there to solve a case, one that she was likely about to be pulled from. She didn't talk about her siblings, or her family at all, for that matter, with anyone, except on sparing occasions to Agent Murray.

"I do," Ivy said, despite herself. "A sister and a brother. I'm the oldest."

Just as Terry was about to say more, likely another question that would lead Ivy to reveal more about herself, the door opened again, and Captain Holt's assistant, Gina, came inside.

"Captain wants to see you both," she said in a monotone voice, as if the whole thing uninterested her greatly, and she had overexerted herself in walking from her desk to the break room.

"Thanks, Gina," Terry replied before he and Ivy left the room.

They entered Holt's office, and Ivy's face grew warm and the sight of everyone's eyes on her.

"Agent Auden, I have your superior, Agent Murray, on speaker phone, and I just got off of a call with our commissioner," Holt announced once the door was closed and Ivy was standing in front of him.

"Hey, Auden," Murray's grizzly voice came through the speaker on Holt's desk phone.

"Hello, sir."

"Well, I don't know how to say this, so I guess I'll just get out with it," Geoff began, causing Ivy's stomach to all but drop to her feet as a bottomless pit. Was it worse than being pulled off the case? Were they pulling her from investigations all together? "If I may, Captain Holt?"

"Of course, Agent Murray. Go on," Holt replied.

"Ivy, you and I both know that there is no better investigator to have on this case, and I've vouched for you with both the NYPD commissioner and my superiors, and they've agreed to let you continue on the case. This is very unprecedented, however, so the stakes are extremely high. We can't afford any screw ups. You, especially, cannot."

Ivy understood exactly what Murray was saying.

If she stepped one foot out of line, or if it even remotely looked like she did, her career was over. She'd never work another second in the FBI, or in law enforcement altogether.

She doubted she'd even be able to secure a job as a security officer at a shopping mall.

Wait a second.

Ivy couldn't believe what she was hearing. They were keeping her on the case?

All sorts of alarms went off in her brain. How, in their right mind, could the FBI still allow her on the case? Not only did she have personal involvement, but she'd had an anxiety attack because of it. Hell, Ivy was the one that found Helen Auden's body! Certainly, that fact had not gone unnoticed by anyone involved.

"Excuse me if I'm a bit confused," she said, chewing on her bottom lip. "You want me to continue working the case?"

"This is something big, Auden, and we need the best on it. Not that I need to feed your ego, but you are our best, and you know it," Geoff said.

"How'd you get them to agree to it?" Ivy asked, looking between the phone and Captain Holt.

"I vouched for you," Geoff replied. "My ass is on the line as much as yours is."

He'd vouched for her? Geoff Murray, who she knew had eyes on the director job one day, had put his entire career on the line for Ivy? He believed in her that much?

Ivy wasn't sure she could recall a time when someone had believed in her that much.

"Agent Auden, please do not take offense to this, but I also have misgivings on the situation," Captain Holt interjected.

Ivy nodded. "I don't blame you, sir."

"However, Agent Peralta has assured me that you have remained entirely professional during the course of your short time here in New York, and he also is willing to attest to your character and your professionality."

Ivy knew that was entirely untrue -- she'd had to excuse herself from the pawn shop interview and had a meltdown in front of the store. She'd behaved in the most unprofessional manner she ever had in her entire career.

And yet, Agent Peralta had endorsed her. His career could fall right alongside Ivy's, and he barely knew her.

"Agent Murray has garnished approval from the FBI, and my superiors with the NYPD have consented as well," Holt said. "While I still have my concerns, I give my acquiescence for the investigation to continue as planned."

"Thank you, Captain," Ivy said, nodding politely at the man. "May I add something?" After Holt nodded his approval, she said, "I would greatly appreciate it if you all would continue to treat me as I came to you: a detective working to solve a case, not as the niece of a murder victim. I made my peace with it long ago. I do not need your sympathy."

It wouldn't do them any good if they'd gotten approval to continue with the investigation, only to have it ruined by the officers walking on eggshells around her. She wouldn't have it.

Captain Holt nodded in agreement. "On that note, knowledge of Agent Auden's relation to this case does not leave this room, understood? We do not need any added complications to this already complicated situation."

"Captain Holt, may I have a word off-speaker with my agent?" Geoff asked from the receiver.

"Certainly," Holt replied, pressing a button on the phone before handing it to Ivy. "Sergeant Jeffords, Peralta, Boyle -- that will be all."

The others filed out of the office as Ivy brought the phone up to her ears. "Yes, sir?"

"Auden, you know I'd trust you with my life. Hell, I'd trust you with my daughter's life. I trust you with this case, but I mean it -- the tiniest thing goes wrong, and we're both done. You're not leaving New York until this case is one hundred percent wrapped up," Geoff said. "Da Silva and I will be available remotely if you need any assistance, and please, Ivy, do not be afraid to ask for help. I know how you can be."

Ivy swallowed the growing lump in her throat, and ignored the twist of nausea in her stomach. "It's not in my character to abandon a case, Murray."

"Good. I want you to treat this just like any other case."

"Of course."

Geoff let out a loud sigh, and Ivy had a feeling it was going to be a sleepless night for both of them. "Alright then. Get comfy and settle in. This is going to be much more work than we initially anticipated." 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ author's note ✫・゜・。.

hello again! so, so sorry for not updating this book for a very long time. as i'm sure you can believe, this was a really difficult chapter for me to write. i wasn't exactly sure how to write it and deal with the conflict of interest problem. i knew i wanted to keep ivy on the case, but i wasn't sure how i was going to do it, you feel? ivy being the stickler she is, i knew it would be out of character for her to voluntarily stay on the case. however, seeing as how both geoff and jake vouched for her, she kind of is forced to stay on the case in a way. like, she knows they went through all of this trouble to keep her there, so she can't exactly back down now, can she?

that, and ivy's not one to walk away from a case. especially this one. 

i hope you enjoyed this chapter, and sorry for the gory bits pertaining to the murder. you knew what you were walking into with this book, though, and that's why i had the content warning in the introduction chapter. i'm not going to post content warnings on each chapter, because i feel it's a bit redundant, and if you aren't comfortable with any of the topics mentioned in my original content warning, then seriously, you should not be reading this book, because the topics are going to come up over and over. 

okay well, that was a longer author's note than i intended, however, it's been awhile, so i guess it's kind of warranted :)

as always, thank you SO MUCH for reading! this book is one of the ones i'm most proud of, just because i feel like it's a great example of how much my writing style has changed and improved since i first downloaded this little orange app.

thanks again, and please let me know what you thought! 

xx,

madi