Conflicted

Main Character's POV:

I always felt like none in the world are as miserable as me. And no one can understand the pain which I endured all this long.

But now it felt like I have seen myself, my younger self, in some parallel universe. But it's not any parallel universe or mirage. It is happening to my brother. The same abuse, pain, and suffering.

At least I have retaliated and fought back. And this little fellow here is only enduring all the pain. He is holding all the stones thrown at him, bearing all the brunt.

The whole evening we both are together and talked. Actually, it was more of him talking. He talked a lot. I asked him about his school, studies, and these ill-treatment he has been facing.

And he poured out his heart to me. Starting from the time father passed away what all has happened in their lives he narrated everything. Even they shifted places thrice and finally settled down here.

And people here gaze at them because of not having a man as the head of the house. People here assumed things on their own and kept names to them. And children will learn from their parents and do the same for other kids.

I asked him did he ever told any of this to his mother and shook him negatively. When I asked why, he replied, "This happened last time and amma fought for me and we shifted here. When we came here we have nothing. Amma was so stressed at that time too because of me. I don't want to be the reason for her tension again."

I don't have any response to his answer. I compared my younger self to him, but he saw it all from much young age than me. I smiled at him and ruffled his hair.

Out of blue, I heard a sound of sniffling. Looking ahead I saw HER standing behind the slightly opened door. She wiped the tears that rolled down her cheeks and smiled at me. A smile filled with gratitude.

Seeing her Nani rushed to her immediately and hugged her. Her attention diverted towards him soon and started listening to all his words.

He omitted all the incidents that happened in the evening and just told that I have talked to him and helped him with his homework and how we both chatted together. Though I want to tell her the truth about the bullying he is facing, I hide as I don't want to show myself as some hero who saved her son.

Soon the talks ended and we had our dinner and departed to our rooms. The day had been exhausting enough for me to sleep immediately. I fell on my little single cot and sleep started approaching me slowly.

Before I could fully doze off a knock on my door woke me up. It was her.

"Are you sleeping?" she asked me as she entered the room.

"No. Come in," I replied and sat up on the bed. She walked towards me and sat on the edge of the bed and stared at me with a soft smile.

"Thank you. I am so grateful for your help today."

"Well, that's nothing. It's ok," I replied and kept looking down, not seeing her face.

"It's everything, son. I know what happened today."

My eyes widened at her response. Shock overtook me and I kept looking at her with confusion and questioning gaze.

Understanding my look she said, "Neighbors ran into me when I just reached. They complained about my son's alleged 'Rowdism' and 'Threatening' and how I should control them. Conflicted, I entered inside to see such a pleasant moment and heard everything. I understood my son better today and even you more."

Rowdy? Me? Seriously?

My mind got stuck only on that word. They were bullying another boy and behaving like rowdies at a such young age and now when I taught them good I became bad.

"I was just... I was saving Nani and told those boys strictly to not do such things again. That's it."

"I understand dear. I am not pointing it at you. You were there with Nani when I am not there and I don't care about those people's words. I don't care. I trust you."

I nodded listening to her response. Don't know why I felt warmth and satisfaction creep inside my heart.

"Do you still hate me son?" suddenly she asked me.

"Why are you asking me this suddenly?" I asked after a moment of thought. I averted my gaze away from her not wanting to proceed the conversation longer but a low cry reached my ear and I turned around to see her closing her eyes tightly to control her tears.

"What happened Ma....?" I was about to call her Maa but hold myself and even she tried to control herself but more tears kept on escaping her eyes.

"I am sorry son. I know my sorry won't change the past but that's the only thing I can do," she replied and cried even more profusely.

Hearing her response I understood what she was referring to, about Maa. I remained silent not wanting to reply anything because I would be lying if I never blamed her for everything that happened in our lives. Maybe I blamed her more than I blamed my father too and some credit goes to all the ill words I heard too.

"Why these apologies now? As you said nothing can change the past so why to even have this conversation?" I questioned her back.

Her crying turned into slow sniffling. Wiping down her tears she nodded her head as if she was understanding my perspective. Mumbling a goodbye she left the room.

I closed my eyes as she closed the door with a loud thud. I sighed and fell back on the bed. I felt emotionally drained out and the throbbing of my head just added more fuel to the fire.

I didn't expect the peaceful conversation will go down in such a rude manner. Maybe this is the reason why I always maintain my distance from her fearing my words. I felt conflicted for feeling both positively and negatively at the same time.

I kind of accepted Nani and I wonder when I can get along with HER.

Tarini.

Hello everyone.

Another chapter after a long time. I can't help the delay.

And in this chapter, I thought of writing more about her back story but cut short it for later chapters.

Her is now Tarini. Thanks to @Folllwurheart for suggesting such a meaningful name.

Hope you liked the chapter.

Please Vote, Comment, and share the story. Also, follow my account for more stories.

Thank you.

Stay Safe.

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