June 13, 2016

Dear love,

I'm not sure if I'm depressed. I mean I'm not sad, but I'm not exactly happy either. I can laugh, joke, and smile during the day, but sometimes when I'm alone at night I feel desperate.

My brain knows I'm nothing and it causes me pain. Then the pain travels to every cell in my body, like its a disease that eats me from the inside out. Soon it feels like I'm only a shell, because there is nothing left on the inside. No heart, no thinking, no emotions. Just a skin that walks around all day hurting. That's how nothing feels like, in case you were wondering.

I realized that I have become so lost and wrapped up with this idea of you, that I'm becoming possessed with this theory that it you will solve all of my problems.