Break-ups are hard. But we don't talk about the equivalent pain of a failed situationship. The pain of of not getting the chance to explore something with someone with whom we could envision a future.

      Every flower deserves to blossom.

     Here's to the boy that will forever be my what if?

I barely know you, but you seem to live in mind.

The mind is such a strange place.

When I wake up.

Before I fall asleep.

And even at the most random times of day, I'm hit with the thought of you.

The smallest of our infrequent interactions play on repeat.

And when I try to make reason for their presence, I fail.

I feel as though I'm spiralling.

Am I romanticizing the idea of you?

I see tarot card videos every time we hangout.

I tell myself it's a sign that you're the one,

And then convince myself that I'm being delusional.

I ask the universe and my spirit guides for a clear sign.

I see angel numbers all the time.

I see your picture at specific times.

Your picture follows that of my grandmothers.

I see or hear your name when I try to connect with my guides.

Song lyrics on the radio fit our situation.

Again... I think I'm being delusional and misinterpreting their message.

Sometimes I think that my angel guides spend most of their time groaning and pulling out their hair.

If my instincts tell me this is right, why does hesitation remain?

Because to admit that I want something, that I want someone, is placing myself in a position for potential disappointment.

Is this just lust?

Am I infatuated to this extent simply because you are the first person to ever make me feel this way?

Am I hoping for something that isn't real?

Do I ever cross your mind like you cross mind?

Do we think of each other at the same time?

Did you mean your actions?

Were my presumptions of your silent words completely wrong?

I thought I saw a matching spark in your eyes, but were you just having fun?

Do you touch and speak to all of your friends this way?

Have you already moved on to your next conquest?

Was I too difficult to get to know?

Did my fear or vulnerability scare you off?

I know you are much like me in terms of being timid in showing interests.

Are we both waiting on each other to make a move?

Should I muster the courage to send the first message?

I thought the look in my eyes and my encouragement of your touch, would be enough.

But are you as confused as I am?

Are you waiting on me, as I am waiting on you?

I wish you'd tell me what you were thinking.

Good or bad.

So that I/we could move onto the next step.

I'm waiting patiently,

Hoping that clarity is on the horizon.