Their faces are so clear in my mind, and their names echo in my head. The same names I died with, repeating them over and over again, hoping what I did would get to them. Did they even see it? Did they care? Was it even worth it? I am a ghost now but they were less human than I am now, so I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't care about what happened and just laughed at my weakness.

I would expect that from those... monsters.

I died wanting them to pay for what they did. Wanting them to repent and be sorry. No wonder I'm stuck as a ghost now, that's clearly my unfinished business. If I died with that in mind and without completing that task or seeing the outcome, I'm still here to fulfil that. It's the only thing that makes sense in my head.

"Paige, Paige stop it! Paige!" someone screams, but the voice barely gets to me. I'm too consumed in my own rage and the faces that tormented me for so long.

One face... one girl.

She had been tormenting me for years. Back in secondary school and then when we met again in college. I thought... when I graduated from secondary school I thought I wouldn't meet any of them again. I regretted all my choices the moment I saw her again. She made friends immediately but I was alone, and she turned her friends into her new partners against me. She's the one that brought all this to me. Who never gave me a break.

"Paige, if you don't come back I'm gonna hug you!" the voice shouts again, trying to reach me, and my mind reacts to that threat.

No... I'm not scared of being touched, although I should be. Foreign hands only brought pain to me, I should be scared. But this voice doesn't affect me like that, on the contrary, I don't want to hurt the owner of that voice. And if he touches me... if he touches me, I'll be hurting him.

James!

I can't let James touch me.

I shake my head and try to get back to the present. I push to the back of my mind the faces that tormented me and I focus on the voice calling me.

"No," I breathe out. "Don't touch me."

"Oh thank goodness," he says. I can open my eyes now just to see him kneeling in front of me, his eyes charged with worry and sorrow. I look everywhere around but there's no one else. "You scared the living hell out of everyone. Richard fled like soul chased by the devil himself."

"I'm sorry..." I mumble, just thinking now how scary must've been for the poor technician. "I couldn't... think."

"I know. I'm just saying you shouldn't worry about someone seeing us now and even if someone did, I don't care what rumours they might come up with. There are enough already, one more won't make a difference," he says, and I notice the big effort he is doing to sound light and cheerful. Yet his eyes look nothing but happy, they look tormented and like he's enduring the biggest agony.

I want to comfort him and ignore everything I'm feeling... but then I realise he's feeling like that for me.

"I did it," I tell him. "I really did. I remember now and I... it was so gruesome, James. I really did that, just to get back at them. I didn't kill myself to escape the pain or anything, I didn't do it out of cowardice." I take a deep breath, holding his stare and doing my utmost best not to reach out to him and hold him, or on to him, I'm not sure. "I did it to bring pain to them. It was my revenge. I didn't think of anything else, consequences be damned, I just did it."

"Paige..." he murmurs my name. I can't read the meaning behind that, whether there's pity or understanding.

"And I don't even know if it worked," I laugh, losing it a bit once again. "I can't remember seeing them finding my body or anything. For all I know, someone might have found it first, someone who wasn't supposed to, and no one else because no one was allowed to see that."

I don't even know how to feel at that possibility. I don't know if I should scream, laugh or just cry-even if I can't.

"I remember their faces, but I don't know if those faces actually saw what I left for them. My revenge isn't completed, James. That's why I'm stuck here," I tell him, sharing with someone my theory. My voice drips desperation because I want him to understand and support me.

"Paige," he says again and I sense something in his voice this time, something that indicates we are not on the same page anymore. "I don't think that's really what you're here for," he adds, a mere whisper but that slaps me across the face harder than any hand could.

"I'M SURE OF IT!" I shout at him. "I died with that in my mind. It's ought to be my unfinished business. At least her... at least her," I break down, trembling like I did so many times when I was alive. When I was humiliated over and over again. Like I did every time I got home and I could only cry against my pillow, hoping Mum wouldn't hear me again. "You said you'd help me..."

"Who? Who is she?" he asks, and even if he is saying that, I can feel in his voice he doesn't want to do this.

"Dawson... Diana Dawson," I reply. James frowns, probably trying to think if that name sounds familiar to him. "She's the one... the one that bullied me for years and who made everyone here follow her. She... I just need her to be sorry and know what she did to me. Just her, James. Please," I beg, grabbing the fabric of his hoodie and pulling of him a bit, still careful of not touching his body anywhere.

"Dawson... like Roxi Dawson?" he asks and I have to think.

Roxi is always dying her hair, and Diana was a brunette, but they look similar. There's an evident resemblance that now makes sense. Now I understand why I hated Roxi the most out of everyone else. There's an attitude, the look, the way they treat others and think of themselves that show they are clearly related.

"Like her! Roxi must be related to Diana. A cousin or a sister or even a daughter!" I blurt out. "That's why I hate her so much, because she looks kind of like Diana and she reminded me of her and-James!" I keep rambling, my mind spinning with thoughts and all the pieces together.

"Okay... but calm down, Paige. You need to calm down. You're still shaking," James says instead. "Why don't we go home and think better about this? We need to figure out how to proceed and exactly how we'll get to find out whether she saw what you did or not. If she did, Paige, I'm sure that's more than enough. You don't need to torment her any further."

"Why do you make it sound like I'm the monster here?!" I spat, standing up and stepping away from him, feeling betrayed and unstable. "I just asking for what I deserve. Don't I deserve an apology?"

"You do, Paige. You certainly do! And don't think I'm here looking after them or anything. I couldn't give two shits about what happens to all those people who hurt you, and the ones that turned their backs on you," he exclaims now, also standing up and sounding agitated. "I'm doing this for you! I'm looking after you 'cos I don't want you putting in jeopardy your own soul..."

His voice is barely a whisper at the end, but even if his voice is that low I hear it louder than when he was shouting. The power of those words is louder than whatever decibel he can reach.

"Let's go home, Paige," James calls again, and I'm so tired right now, so drained that I think my knees will give out. "Please."

I want to take his hand, let him hold me in one piece because I'm falling apart, but I don't dare to hold up my hand for him. I know the pain I'm feeling right now would destroy him and rip off his own soul. And I can't do that to him, to the only person-that is not related-that has helped me and showed me some sort of caring. I can't control my own heart right now and even if I need him so much, I can't do that to him.

"Let's go home," I agree in a whisper that he rewards with a smile.

I follow him downstairs and then to the bus and eventually his flat. I know he wants to talk to me on our way, distract me from the storm in my head, but I don't react to all his initiatives. I do my best not to let the memories consume me again, but it's hard. I can see that vividly that last day I repressed until today. The way I couldn't think of anything else but making them see their wrongdoings. I couldn't see past that. The worst thing isn't that I killed myself in such a coldhearted way, that I tortured my body worse than anyone did before. No, the worst thing is that I didn't think of my family at all. Not even once I considered stopping myself because that would hurt my parents.

I know that many times I wanted to kill myself just to escape the constant torture. More than once I stood in front of pills thinking of an overdose. Or in front of a rope, thinking of hanging myself, but I never managed to do it because I could always see my mother's face and that was enough to stop me.

I had no friends. No one cared enough for me to actually help me or give me a hand until I learnt that expecting people to care was pointless. I learnt that not everyone feared the bullies but they all feared ending in my place, so they saved only themselves. But even if no one would even look at me and offer me a smile, I still had my parents. And I endured it for as long as I could for them. I started hiding it for them, so they wouldn't see how their daughter kept being bullied. I hid it the best I could so they wouldn't worry and I faked all my smiles.

But that last day I was so consumed by rage that not even the face of my mother could stop me. Not even once I apologised to her.

And if all I did, if hurting and destroying my family like that, was for naught because Diane didn't even see my body, because she isn't even sorry and doesn't live with the weight of her actions, then I need to make it worth it.

When we get in the flat, James is babbling. I can't even understand what he is saying, so I stop him.

"Can we use your computer?" I ask, succeeding at shutting him up. "I need to find Diana and if she's related to Roxi, then she must be on the Internet. All people nowadays are there."

"Don't you want to rest?" he asks and I shake my head.

"I sliced my veins open, one after the other so they wouldn't close and I would surely die. I wrote with my blood so they would see and be disgusted. It had to be my blood so it would have a stronger impact. I doomed my family and my whole existence for this. I'm a ghost now, and I've been stuck for fifteen years because of this," I summarise for him, my voice as cold as you would expect from a murderous ghost. "So no, I don't want to rest. I can't rest until I finish this, James."

There's so much pity and worry in his eyes, but he finally agrees and goes to his computer. Over the past few days we've tried the Internet again so I'm a bit more used to it already, still, he is the one that types and I watch. And now I see him writing Roxi's name and then refining the results until he ends up on her Facebook profile. I've learnt that Facebook is basically all your information exposed for everyone to see and stalk you. On that profile James looks for her relatives and he stops when we see a name I've shared already. Diana Dawson... Roxi's sister.

James follows that link and we are on her profile, to see pictures from when she was a kid, then a teen when I knew her, then an adult after I died. When she got married and had her first kid. We see pictures of her perfect, normal life, and that fills me with even more rage.

How is that she has a perfect life when I am a ghost and broke my family? How is that even fair?

"She needs to be sorry, James. Don't tell me I'm wrong, this has to be my unfinished business. At least her... let me do something about her," I beg, still watching her picture in which she looks so bright and happy, with eyes that don't show any torment in her life. "Please."

I turn to look at him, all my desperation in my voice and I can see the struggle shadowing his expression. I can see the moment he gives up, as well.

"Fine," he agrees. "But I won't let you lose yourself again, Paige. Just be aware of that. I won't let you become the monster."

>>>·<<<

See why the bond between James and Paige was so important? He's the only one that can actually stop her. But... what will she do? Are we going to lose Paige?

Thank you for all your comments! I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter despite the content and saw the meaning and effort behind it. It was really hard to pick one person for the dedication because all the comments were impressive, but today's is for mindlover333

Also, shout out for madgamergirl2014 for the fan-art she submitted on my tumblr and I added on the multimedia.

Bel, xx

NU: Thursday