OLD WOUNDS

A Couple Of Weeks Later....

Monday, February 15th, 2019

It was Monday, a work-free day. I peeked outside through my curtains. The morning sun was very pregnant with brightness. I opened my room window and allowed the fresh and cold air to tease my skin. The weather was gentle, an amalgamation of warmth and cool. It smelled like wet sand, fresh bougainvillea flowers, and abscised gmelina leaves. It was a reminder that there was a heavy downpour the night before. It was the first rain of the season. It was odd that it rained in February, but due to the recent climate change, anything can happen. Especially in my country, we were at the earth's equator.

I was feeling good today, after a long time. Ever since I got my first job at the Bremin tech, I have not rested. I worked there as an assistant receptionist while Kulthum was the boss's PA. They said we were not qualified to hold any solid position since we were both undergraduates. The company's criterion for selecting employees was greatly based on their academic expertise.

Our school was due to resume today and it would be my first day in my penultimate year in college. It was good to feel fresh rather than rusty after a forty-eight days break from school because of two successive postponements of the resumption date due to some unforeseen circumstances at the end of the school administration.

Fortunately for me, the break was put into judicious use. At least I was able to earn a fortune from my job. I would use the money to fund my needs throughout the semester. My mum didn't have to worry about my tuition fees anymore because I had already taken care of that. I was slowly growing into the independent woman that I had always wanted to be.

I couldn't wait to reunite with my friends and colleagues at school. First days at school were always the best: aside from the crazy reunions with friends, you get a piece of firsthand information about the academic year calendar. Some lecturers, the ones without happy homes would like to start their classes that very day. If you are not so lucky, you might miss their attendance, and perhaps even worse, they may decide to set tests. I wonder if they have a vicious intent for the students' downfall.

I spent weeks preparing for this day, I wanted nothing more than to return to school, I had a pending degree to acquire. That was a reminder that I had to get ready for school. I had already picked out my outfit for the day, and thanks to my mother she had my hair done the previous day. I was already on my way to the bathroom. This was the part where I missed Salma, she used to prepare my bath when she was around. Now that she wasn't here anymore I had to go back to my old boring lifestyle where I did everything alone in my small yet comfortable space.

Salma, by her father's permission, came to spend her holiday with me, as you already know. But last week her father came by to take her home so she'd have time to prepare for the resumption. I haven't heard from her ever since she left. As for Kulthum, we spoke every other day at work, except for the weekends. And Imran on the other hand, had refused to talk to me since the other day he ran off to visit his grandmother at the hospital. I guess you already know why this day is so important to me and why I couldn't miss school on this very day.

After taking my bath, I came out of the bathroom feeling fresh and cleansed like a newborn. I threw on my black abaya and a nude brown veil. I didn't bother to apply makeup on my face, but I didn't fail to decorate my eyes with kohl which was like a daily routine for me. I learned from my mother that kohl had a medicinal effect on the eye. I grabbed my satchel bag and stocked it up with my books before leaving my room.

As I headed down the stairs I saw my sister and her kids in the living room, she had been plucking some vegetable leaves. The day before my mother had brought home from the market a nice bunch of fresh spinach leaves straight from the farm. I heard from my sister that Ahmad and his friends were coming over and my mother, being who she was, saw that as an opportunity to hold a feast for them.

"Yaya inakwana( good morning big sister)" I greeted Teslim as I unlatched the door knob.

"Morning, ina gajiya(how was your hangover)" She responded in our local dialect and I paused, turning around to meet her gaze.

"Ba gajiya,(It wasn't much of a stress)" I hesitated a little.

"Kintashi daga baci lafiya(I hope you slept well)." I was a little taken aback when she asked about my health, not like I was sick though.

"Lahiya lau(I'm very well)"I raised a quizzical brow at her and wondered why she was being nice and talking to me all of a sudden. She had been so filled with rage toward me these past few days.

"Alhamdulillah, have a blessed day. Allahumma barik." She finished saying with a faint smile glossing her lips.

"Ameen, wa iyyakum(and you too)"

My sister has refused to speak to me normally like we used to ever since I told our mother the truth about her plans to divorce Ahmad. My mother would have still found out one way or the other, anyway. For the past few weeks, her husband had been doing nothing but trying to win back her heart. Poor Ahmad! It will take water from the moon to win her over. My sister had a heart of stone.

I was only trying to help her. I was hoping that my mother could help fix their relationship since she was more experienced than the rest of us. Teslim found out and blew everything out of proportion. Our relationship had been a bit of a roller coaster ride right from the onset. I would not be surprised if she held grudges against me for the rest of her life.

"When will you return from school today?" Teslim asked and I wondered why.

"I don't know, maybe around twelve, why?" I checked my watch. It was eight already. I was going to school for fun, not for any serious reason. It was the reason I didn't rush. I took my time to prepare for the day.

"I was wondering if you could help me stay with these kids."She asked if I could babysit her kids when I returned from school, and she said that she had scheduled to go for a check-up at the hospital. She also said that she didn't intend to stay long but it is fine if I can't help.

"What about mum, isn't today her day off?"

"I have asked her and she said that she has plans with friends; Umm Imran and Umm Kulthum, and intended to stay with them until Ahmad's arrival, but I don't know if I can make it back before she leaves the house."

My mother and my sister have a little grudge between them, ever since she found out the truth about Teslim's intention. All thanks to me, I ruined their cordial relationship but when they both broke out quarreling like little girls I knew that I would have to step in to save the day. As their mediator, I can understand why my sister couldn't persuade my mother to babysit her kids.

"I'll be back home by twelve and if Mum is still around by then, I'll take over from where she stopped." To that, Teslim nodded in agreement and I unlatched the doorknob and excused myself.

Yesterday, Ahmad's mother, Aunt Fatimah called to inform me about Ahmad's nikkah which was meant to be held in two weeks. She had requested that I help to attend to the guests during the wedding. I couldn't refuse her because she and Ahmad had been good to me all my life, maybe it was time to return her kindness.

When I first heard the news, I was a little hesitant to call Ahmad and congratulate him, thinking it might be bad timing. It was because at some point we drifted apart, owing to the matter that arose between him and my sister. Today, I decided to summon a little courage to put a call across to him and clear the air between us. I respected Ahmad too much to turn my back on him now that he needed our support the most. My sister didn't mind throwing a tantrum, but I won't be like her. This wasn't about vengeance or sisterhood. It was about doing what was right.

I punched my phone keyboard, dialing his number. I inhaled slowly, waiting for him to pick up the ringing phone on the other end as I stepped across the lawn. The phone rang twice and he wasn't picking it up, making me regret my decision to call him in the first place.

I was about to cross to the other side of the street when I heard his voice after such a long time. "Hello, Assalaam alaikum munchkin" I sensed a bit of humor in his voice which made me smile too.

"Wa alaikum salaam yaa Ammiy(oh uncle)." I addressed him as uncle because I didn't know what to call him. Our relationship was much more than just ordinary inlaws, even though he was the one that I respected the most among all my distant relatives. I used to find joy in disturbing him back in the day, but not anymore. Well done, maturity. You did a great job letting me grow up.

"Look who decided to call me today." I was embarrassed and I was at a loss for words. "You out of all people, dumbed me, the same way your sister did. I must admit life's not fair." He went on ragging. I think he was grinning which almost made me laugh if only what he was saying wasn't the truth.

"I'm so sorry ya baba( big brother). It's just that I thought you were busy." I tried to hide my bashfulness.

"Busy doing what, my dear? Running away from the battlefield?" He teased and we laughed.

"I'm sure that is what you would do if you weren't already a runaway soldier." I returned his humor and we both burst into another fit of laughter.

"I see what you did there." He uttered and I grinned.

"Aunty Fatimah told me that you are getting married soon." I decided to change the topic and mercifully end my embarrassment. I heard him suck in a deep breath and I knew his smile has faded even though I couldn't see him.

"Oh, did you call me to scold me and tell me that I've made a terrible decision?" He joked, making me chuckle.

"Oh, no, not at all. I have only called to congratulate you." I came clean on a more serious note. "May Allah bless your union and plant the seed of happiness and prosperity in your home. Congratulations ya baba." I said a silent prayer for my sister too: May Allah grant her the mental fortitude to bear the grave twist of fate and also help her find peace in it.

"Ameen thumma ameen! Alhamdulillah alaa kulli haal ( All praises belong to Allah in every circumstance). Thank you so much, Munchkin. I'm grateful." His voice was thick. I thought he was holding back his words, there was something he wanted to tell me.

"You are welcome, always," I said politely. I have to admit that the sudden threat of divorce between my sister and her husband had put everyone in our family on edge. We didn't know where the fight would lead them. My sister has refused to go back home, despite my mother's warning. For that reason, they were not on good terms even though it was nothing serious.

"My ride's here. I'll call you some other time." I told him the moment I got to the bus station. We spoke for a few more minutes as I informed him about the kids and their well-being. And also I didn't fail to tell him that I was heading to school and the situation with my mother and his wife. I hung up when I said my final Salaam to him.

I stepped onto the bus in good spirits, although my anxiety had returned. It had always been there. I've been trying to manage it but sometimes I let it get the better of me. That was not a good thing. There was this fear that gripped me each time I wondered what the future had in store for me. I hoped everything would go just fine today.

*****

†Back To School†

Kulthum had ordered breakfast for me and some other girls in her department so we all gathered at the school cateteria to eat. We sat there talking and laughing when I noticed that Salma was not there. I asked Kulthum and the girls if they had seen her around and none of them knew her whereabouts so I decided to chat her up. I told her to meet us at the cafeteria.

The girls had been talking about boys and their celebrity crush. I frowned because I didn't follow, things like that were not of interest to me. I had too much on my plate to care about boys and more to my pain, Salma was not around. I had missed her so much. To be very honest, I was bored because Kulthum and her group of hideous friends wouldn't stop gawking at the handsome boys in our school. They literally drooled at every one of them that passed by.

"Hey guys!" Kulthum's sharp voice stole our attention. "I have some spicy gists for you." Her eyes were glittering. We all turned to her and I had a feeling about what she had cooked up for us. She had some spicy news about our boss, of course. I had a feeling that it was the same story she told almost every day at work: How she thought the boss was crushing on her because he preferred her to assist him at work than the other girls who worked for him.

After she had gotten our attention she began: "Wait! Have I told you guys about my new boss?" She squealed and I resisted the urge to hiss. She was my friend but I knew exactly how obtuse she could be with her crazy fantasies.

"Of course, it's no other person than Prince Khalifah himself." I yawned mockingly and earned a stunning gasp from the girls.

"No way!" One of them muttered and I saw Kulthum smiling at her reaction. That was exactly what she wanted.

"Yes, you are looking at his PA." It was time to show off her position, No that was beyond the point, she wanted them to acknowledge that she was working under her celebrity crush: our boss had always been the hottest gist for her and her group of friends.

"And as such, I get to follow him everywhere."She added, with a wide grin.

"But how is that even possible?" Nafisah asked.

"Well, all girls have their ways." Kulthum sipped from her mango juice.

"Get on with it, Kielah, tell us how you got the job." It was Khairat who spoke this time.

"Not until I tell you what happened at his place some days back."

"What! You went to his house?" It was my turn to react.

"Of course and something really interesting happened there," I frowned, and she didn't fail to notice my annoyance. "but I swear I wasn't alone." It was at this moment my face relaxed.

good, now tell us what happened.

"So I was at my boss's place the other day. He had invited me, the Secretary, and his errand girl over. Some of his friends came around too." She smiled. "And there was this tall and handsome doctor. Hannan, you know him." She pointed at me.

Of course, I do, it's obviously Zayn. I thought, wanting to roll my eyes but I couldn't.

Kulthum knew very well how to add spices to a boiling soup to give it the right taste. Now she was cooking something delicious, the aroma of which had everyone drooling under her spell. The girls were hooked on her story. A good-looking guy who was rude and prideful in his friend's house with some other girls, anything can happen. As for me, well, I was just waiting to hear the part when the so-called Dr. Zayn yelled at someone.

My mind momentarily drifted to the night we bumped into each other at his place: how he had looked at me with those soulless eyes of his. Thinking of it now, I was beginning to regret why I had accepted to attend the party. It would have been much easier to feign sickness and save myself the humiliation. To think that I went out of my way to get him a gift; I painted that cat with every ounce of creativity I had in me.

"And oh, lest I forget," Kulthum's voice interrupted my thinking. "There was this other lady, she was really beautiful. She had this lush fine brown hair that was almost her waist length. I think she was Indian, possibly arab." That would be Aylin, if I were not mistaken. My thoughts led to that woman I had seen with him at the party. The way they looked at each other, the way he smiled at her. I had a feeling that whatever was between them was strong. She was the only one I know that made him wear a different expression other than the one I knew him with. She was beautiful I have to admit. He had eyes for good things.

"We were assisting the Secretary to organize some files and then she came around, conversing with Dr. Zayn when suddenly I heard a gasp. I turned to the source of the sound which belonged to the Secretary, her name is Yasmeen. I could see jealousy written all over her face as she stared angrily at them. I looked away quickly so she didn't catch me staring"

"Maybe she had a crush on him and she was probably jealous that someone else had his attention." Khairat chimed in, and everyone laughed at her stupid comment while I just rolled my eyes. She had received the warm reaction she was expecting from the others. She was the kind of girl that found pleasure in such gossip.

"I was passing by the kitchen when I heard both women exchanging words. This time, the boss and his friends were outside. So I hid by the window, one with the greatest view of the kitchen and I peeked at them from there. I heard Yasmeen say to her, 'Hey! Isn't it high time you left?' And the lady replied, 'But I came here to see Zayn, not you.' So Yasmeen retorted, 'I know. That doesn't change the fact that you are an outsider.' The lady stared at her, confused." Kulthum threw her hands in the air, demonstrating. Whenever she was telling the truth, she was in the habit of making hand gestures to deliver her message.

Okay, where is Keilah going with this? I couldn't help thinking. I didn't appreciate her eavesdropping or even spying on them. What part of the right to privacy is a fundamental human right did Kulthum not understand? For me, that was the height of disrespect.

Now was not the right time to scold her for her bad habit, besides I was interested to learn what happened next.

"But why did she even care? Wasn't Zayn her cousin?" I objected and Kulthum and I exchanged a confused look. I didn't know what to believe, but I knew that there was always a little truth behind every rumor. I once caught her casting an evil glare on Aylin. It all made sense to me now.

"I thought so too, but to my greatest surprise Yasmeen told the lady to leave Dr. Zayn alone and I almost died of shame when the lady slapped her across the face."

"She did what?" I yelped and the other girls followed in my reaction. Aylin didn't strike me as someone who could harm a fly, not to mention raising a hand on another human. I found it hard to believe that she would do such a thing, but then I had this strong belief that Kulthum was telling the truth.

"Did Yasmeen slap her back?" Nafisah asked impatiently.

"I don't know, I ran away from the scene at the peak of the argument before they blew my cover."

"And you missed the juicy part of the gist," Khairat added with a hiss.

"I couldn't risk getting caught. The girl that was slapped was my boss's secretary and cousin. What if she told on me and had the boss fire me." Kulthum explained and I totally agreed with her.

"I wished they had fought," Khairat mocked. I turned to face her without meeting her gaze. I frowned to show my displeasure at her awful comments." it would have been very intriguing to watch them, fighting over a man. Just like in the movies." she added, a devilish smile playing on her lips. I narrowed my eyes at her last words.

Fighting over a man? Who does that?I held my hands to my lips to stop myself from what I was about to say, but she insisted that I voice out my opinion upon seeing the dissatisfied expression on my face.

"It looks like Miss Hannah here, has something to say. Why don't you speak up?"

"My name is Hannan with an 'En'." I shot her a cold glare and her body went rigid. I felt a bit of anger had started to rise in my chest and I couldn't subdue it.

"It would be an insult to their pride to fight over a man," I said between clenched jaws. I spoke more to myself than to them, to be very honest. I felt like we were far past that era when women competed against each other to win a man's heart. We had more independent women in our generation who were fulfilling purposes, not sabotaging each other over some stupid man. "and by the way, it's a sign of low self-esteem." I finished saying and the other girls nodded in agreement, except Khairat of course. She felt attacked by my comments. I saw it in the huge eye roll she threw at me.

"That's not all." Kulthum resumed her story and we all paid attention to her. "I thought I had seen it all, until when I sneaked up on the lady, she had been interrogating Zayn and she was like, 'Zayn do you have a thing for Yasmeen?' and then he smiled and said to her, 'No, I don't. I just admire the fact that she is shy and graceful.' "

"There you have it, Zayn and Yasmeen are a thing."Khairat reached a conclusion and the others conceded. This wasn't her first time interrupting Kulthum. She might be holding an invisible dagger over Kulthum's head for stealing her spotlight. She was a miserable attention seeker.

"But he didn't lie," I said, not knowing why I wanted to defend his so-called good image.

"And he didn't tell the truth either. Maybe he is dating both women." Nafisah uttered and her friend, khairat nodded to this.

"That means he's cheating on both girls. How many more women has he played with?" Khairat blurted. I scoffed at how she was trying to paint Zayn the villain that he already was, by the way. Even Kulthum who was telling us the story gave a surprised glance at their toxic reaction towards the matter.

"That's not true. Zayn wouldn't do that." As much as I wanted to display my sincere opinion about him, I couldn't because of the impression he had set. If not for his pride I would have said otherwise. He didn't strike me like someone with such a disgusting character. I wouldn't let my opinion about him overshadow that fact. You see why the first impression is important.

"I don't understand why you are trying so hard to defend him." Khairat stood up challengely."Are you in love with him?"She brought her hands to her waist, akimbo.

"Excuse me?" I wanted to laugh at the audacity. She had the guts to throw such a dirty question at my face. I now understand why it is said that familiarity breeds contempt. If I hadn't sat there listening to an epic gossip she would not have summoned the courage to throw insults at me like that. To think that she hadn't even met the man in question.

Oh forget it! Why am I wasting my energy on small-minded idiots like them?

My blood was boiling. I stood up and snatched my bag from the bench and just started to walk away from them. For peace to reign, I didn't say a word. I blamed Kulthum for making me sit with a bunch of dimwits who only find pleasure in tarnishing other people's image.

They assemble once in a while to gossip and find faults in each other's outfits. Exchanging words with someone who found pleasure in pointing out other people's flaws would only put me in the same position as them.

"Hannan, where are you going?"I heard Kulthum calling out to me, walking as fast as she could to catch up to me.

"I'm heading to Salma's department." I had to find Salma, the only sensible friend that I had who didn't slander other people.

"Seriously Hannan, you have to stop acting like you own us."

"Really? You have to tell your friends to grow up too. They are mannerless"

"They are not my friends."

" I thought you always hang out with them."

"That doesn't make them my friends."

"So they are my friends now?" I slowed my pace so she could at least catch up with me.

"Who knows?"

"Keilah, you have to stop hanging out with those guys. They are toxic."

"Are you mad at me because I spoke about the event that occurred at our boss's place?"

"Yes," I yelled. "I'm angry at you, I'm angry at them and I'm angry at myself for backbiting other people."

"I'm sorry Hanny." She said calmly and my expression softened. "I needed a distraction from my worries. I'm so sorry that I dragged you into this." She lowered her head and whispered in a low tone.

"Don't be stupid Keilah. You are my friend and that's what friends do. Partner in crime." I defended. That was my job now, defending other people's asses, even when I clearly didn't like their guts.

We reached out to hug each other. A small smile appeared on her lips and she muttered a thank you. We picked up our pace and made our way toward Salma's class. Unfortunately, neither Imran nor Salma was in school which I found disturbing. They didn't seem like the type to bunk school. Maybe it was the first-day effect.

Today had started up uneventfully, we spent the entire time in school collecting information about this year's academic calendar. Luckily, no lectures were held, yet the campus was bustling with the hostel occupants moving into their dormitories. Kulthum and I found our way into the hostels to visit some of our other friends that stayed there.

When it was almost twelve, I remembered that I had to babysit my sister's kids. I told Kulthum that I'd like to head back home and we saw each other off to the bus station.

"So what were you trying to distract yourself from?" I leaned toward her when we got into the bus. "What is bothering you?" I asked.

"It is Yusuf." She gave a long face. "He is fine now, but he can't talk. He doesn't remember who I am, he can't recognize anyone, not even Mum." I didn't know what to say upon learning the news. The last time we saw her brother at the hospital, he was on the brink of death. I was glad that at least he was alive. The ailment must have taken a toll on him.

"Alhamdulillah, he's living and breathing, that's what matters for now." I wrapped a comforting arm around her. "Let's pray that he fully recovers and In Sha Allah, he will."

"Ameeen! I hope so." She heaved a loud sigh. "Dr. Zayn informed us that he'd be fine as long as we don't expose him to needless stress." She told me and paused for a moment, rubbing her palms against each other. I examined her and felt that there was more to what she had told me.

"I have known you for years now and I know you won't deliberately hide anything from me." I pointed out calmly. "It's fine if you don't want to tell me, but if you care to share your worries with me, I promise I'll be here to help." I reasoned and I saw her eyes moisten a little.

"My mum told me not to tell anyone but I just thought you should know."

"What is it?" I squinted at her and wondered why Umm Kulthum might have given such a warning. I suddenly remembered that my mother and Imran's mother had plans to visit her. Could it be what I was thinking?

"My dad is back." My expression relaxed a little. It was not the bad news I was dreading. "And he has been receiving some terrifying anonymous messages. Some lunatic is threatening to ruin our lives if we don't hand Yusuf over to him."

I looked around us to see if we were having an audience, you know the walls have ears. "This lunatic you speak of, is he responsible for what had happened to Yusuf?" I suspected and I knew that I was a little quick to jump into conclusion.

Kulthum gasped and brought her hand to seal my mouth, stopping me from finishing my sentence. "Shh! don't say that in the open." She shushed me, looking around to see if anyone was looking. I grew suspicious. "Dr. Zayn told us that someone poisoned Yusuf. And they are planning to kill him to cover the track of getting found out."

"How did he get involved with such people," I whispered. I couldn't help but wonder, what kind of a sick maniac would do that to a twenty-one years old boy. "I mean, what did Yusuf do to them?"

"I have no idea." She shrugged. "Dr. Zayn has promised to make sure that the police arrest the one responsible for this crime." I saw her smiling at her feet and I shrunk back a little because of what she was about to say. "He is such a great man. Did you know he took care of Yusuf's hospital bills and he has been working so hard to ensure he recovers completely."

"Is he really that great?" I questioned, forcing back my smile.

"Yes, he is such a nice person. Lucky the woman that will have him. It's really unfair for a person to be so kind and good-looking." She giggled and I didn't return the reaction she had wanted.

"Yeah, he is," I murmured incoherently, swallowing a hard lump that had clogged my throat. I had just acknowledged that he was a man of exemplary character just like everyone thought he was. To other people, he might be great just as he appeared to be, but as for me, I saw many flaws in his outward persona. For that reason, I have always held a different opinion about him.

The bus arrived at my destination, I said goodbye to Kulthum and we hugged before I hopped down from the vehicle. I walked quietly back home thinking of the event that transpired at school that day.

*****

Upon entering inside, I realized how tired I was. I picked up my shoes and trudged toward my room. I was about to climb the stairs when I heard someone whimpering. I traced the source of the sound to my mother's room and found her kneeling on a prayer rug. She had been facing the qibla, sobbing in between supplications.

"Is something wrong, Mother?" I asked with concern in my tone. I dropped my bag on the floor and hurried toward her.

My mother turned to look up at me with watering eyes. She used her thumb to wipe away every drop of tears under her eyes before shaking her head: an indication that she was fine. I figured that my presence might have distracted her prayers so I sat down on the floor next to her. I studied her closely, she was about to round up with her dua session.

Moments later she stood up and put away her Qur'an. My eyes dropped to the floor as she folded up the prayer rug. I noticed that Mum had been praying with Dad's favorite prayer rug again. And by the look on her face, I could easily guess that she was missing him badly. I crooked an eyebrow with a half smile.

"What?" She asked with a straight face when she noticed my expression.

"You are missing him, aren't you?" I asked.

"We all miss him." She confessed, passing me a sad smile and I repressed mine.

"It's been almost two years since Dad left us. Will you ever move on?" I asked in a low voice, looking up to meet her gaze. I could see a hint of moisture in her eyes as she spoke.

"It's two years already. Have you forgotten what day it is?" She said and realization hit me like a storm that it was February 15th, 2019. How could I have forgotten so soon? Today marked the anniversary of my father's death.

"It's funny how the death of your father saddened me more with every passing moment. Every second feels like an hour and every year feels like a century." She looked exhausted emotionally and physically as she trudged to sit on the bed. "I thought I would be able to move on but every day, a fresh wave of pain arose in my chest, reminding me not to forget your father. I don't know which pain is worse: the pain of letting go of his memories or the one that arose when I reminiscenced on it."

Warm tears pricked the corners of my eyes as I listened to her. I understood that piece of reality more than anyone. When my father's memories were still very fresh in my mind, as much as I didn't want to be reminded of him, I never wanted to let go of his memories either. "Both pains are significant to keep his memories alive, even though they are too much to bear. We just have to learn how to manage our emotions better."

I stood up and then hugged her loosely from behind. For a moment neither of us spoke a word. It was so quiet that I couldn't even hear my own thoughts. It was unfair that they couldn't grow old together. Sensory pain, I now realized, was nothing compared to the psychological pain of heartbreak, rejection, grief, and the general woes that come with life. I felt like my mum was suffering the worst form of pain. It was unfair that Qadar (destiny) had put a tragic end to their epic love story.

"Have you prayed for your father today?" She asked in a hushed voice after a minute.

"I pray for him every day," I whispered against the nape of her neck and she chuckled.

"I like that you are consistent with your Dua (supplications)" She mumbled.

"I learned from the best."

"You remind me of your father."

"I know, that is why I was his favorite." I chuckled before letting go of her. She turned to face me and then cupped my face in her palms. She looked serious. I had a feeling that she was about to lecture me, perhaps warn me. I saw it in her eyes.

"In every situation, always remember Allah, because someday something terrible may happen to you and you will have no option but to run to Him. And you suddenly realized that nobody can help you except by Allah's leave." She said carefully, making it look like the world was about to end. For a moment I felt really scared.

"I don't wish that something terrible ever happens to me." I knew that I had just said one of the most stupid things my brain could come up with. "I mean, what could be more terrifying than Father's death."

"You think that was terrifying?" My mum let go of my face. She smiled, making it look less than what it was. "People have gone through even worse and they are still going through a lot. Look at Yusuf, who ever thought something of such will happen to him. And what about Innajo. These people are experiencing trials." She pointed out and I just stared blankly. My thought momentarily went to Imran whom I had not spoken to for more than a month now. I wondered how he was holding hope with the news about his grandmother.

"Mum, I'm terrified, what if life has other things in store for us." I shuddered.

"Remember that our Lord does not burden a soul with more than he can bear even though we shall all have our own share of His tribulations."

"Tribulations, such a scary word." I sighed and fell on the bed with my face to the ceiling.

"And you know what makes it even scarier? It's a trial doesn't mean that it has to be a terrible thing. Some trials can be in the form of the enjoyment of this world. For instance wealth, children, and even love itself." My mother told me as she stood up and started walking out of the room. I picked up my satchel bag and followed behind her.

On our way out, Mum told me that we were going to prepare Ahmad's favorite pasta and Dad's favorite vegetable soup. By the time we made our way to the living room, my sister's kids were up. Mum headed on to check up on them while I made my way to the kitchen to start up the cooking.

I picked up my phone and called Salma once I stepped into the kitchen. "You have some explanation to do young lady. Why weren't you in school today." I said into the phone while I just started to chop some tomato that my mum left on the breakfast bar. I was going to prepare a tomato sauce for the pasta.

I heard her sigh exhaustedly, "It's my dad, he was having mood swings again so I had to stay behind to deal with his temper. We can't have him violently turning the house upside down. "I put the phone on speaker and left it on my work table.

"What happened to him?" I exclaimed when she told me the reason for her absence from school.

"Today marks twenty years since he lost his first son. He was reminded of it which saddened him. And he doesn't really know how to handle his emotions so he throws things and becomes violent in order to express it."

Oh I see, that's why you had to stay behind to tame his rage.

"Wait? You had an older brother?"

"Yeah, my parents lost him, eleven years before I was born. And I was told that my dad had never been the same ever since then for obvious reasons."

"But it's over twenty years now. He should have moved on already." And I thought my mum was something when she couldn't get over my dad's death in just two years. What an Irony.

"He is moving on, Hanny. You should have seen him last year, he was even worse," She chuckled.

"Wow! I really don't know what to say." I put a frying pan on the stove, poured the required amount of vegetable oil inside, and left it to heat up while I walked up to the fridge to bring out my already diced onions.

"So how was school today? What interesting news do you have for me?" She inquired as I poured the onions into the frying pan.

"School was boring without you, Salma. And not to mention I almost broke somebody's nose today." I exaggerated a little and I heard her laughing as I mixed the chopped tomatoes and spices with the onions.

"That's like the news of the month." She said and subsequently, I narrated what happened at school to her without leaving any detail out of it.

"Seriously, I never knew Aunt Aylin and Dr. Zayn were a thing." She confessed when I told her about what Kulthum narrated to us at school. "How come she never mentioned him to anyone?"

"Is Aunt Aylin Sofia's mother?" I tried not to act surprised because I had my suspicion about that for a while now. I had a hunch that Aylin was her maternal aunt she told me about the other day.

"Yes, she's Sofia's mother. My Aunt that came from Dubai."

"Oh!" I managed to say. "I'll call you back later when I'm done cooking."

"Please do not forget to call me back."

"I will, In Shaa Allah," I promised and cut the call.

Moments later, my mum came into the kitchen to assist me. I was having a hard time in the kitchen so I decided to put the phone away to avoid any form of distraction.

"Is it ready?" My mother asked from behind me.

"No, I'm almost done," I replied while stirring Parboiled Italian penne pasta into the steaming tomato sauce.

We spent the next one-hour preparing dinner. Once done, Mum informed me that she was going to visit Kulthum's mother. Imran's mother came by to pick her so they both left in her car. After they left, I rushed back to my room and called Salma.

★★★★★

Please Vote, Comment, and Share...✍