RESENTMENT AND PREJUDICE

Awkwardness filled the air with the both of them still staring agape at me from down there as I reached for my phone in my pocket. I Practically flared up when I saw that it was my mother who was calling. She had to blow my cover. Why should she even call by that time?

Contemplating on what to do I just reluctantly picked up the phone, then brought it to my ear and listened to what my mother had to say. As I did that I cast a nervous glance at Imran and noticed that he had vanished from there while my eyes followed Salma who was heading for the front door, someone had been ringing the doorbell and she was going to get the door. I had to sneak out of there before things turned inexplicably awkward since Imran wasn't there anymore. The fact that he caught me eavesdropping on their conversation was too much of an embarrassment for me.

"Hello," I said into the phone, rising to my full height. A frenzied chill ran down my spine upon hearing a male voice instead of my mother's.

"Assalamualaikum, am I on the phone with Tasleem?" Was all it took to make me completely go numb on the inside and without any doubt, I knew who owned that voice. That accent could only belong to one person in the world, he had to be the only one who pronounced my sister's name with such an amazing accent. What was he doing with my mum's phone? I turned around, lumbering down the stairway. My eyes darted all over and laid on Salma as she pulled the door open and Mum came into view. I mused at that, flickering my lashes uncontrollably.

"Hello, can you hear me?" I heard him asking when I didn't reply to his previous question. "I think Umma(mother) left her phone in my office. Could you tell her for me when she returns home?"I literally retched at the thought of him calling my mum Umma. Why did he even assume he was talking to my sister Teslim? I cringed at that.

I remained silent on purpose because I didn't want him to recognize my voice. In a cruel twist, it seemed like he was waiting for me to reply as well which unfortunately wouldn't come. For some insane reason, his silence did things to my ego that set my skin crawling. I couldn't understand why I wanted to hear him speak again.

"My mum is not here but I could relate your message to her..." I was going to finish saying before he hung up on me. That was cold. Couldn't he have waited a little longer?

Just when I was about to get off the last step another call came in. It was an unknown number. Upon answering the call I was taken aback a little to hear the same voice. I heard him saying that my mother's phone ran out of airtime so he had to dial my number via his phone line. I thought I heard him asking if I didn't mind him calling back through his line. He desperately needed to reach my mother so he had to steal my number from her phone. Of course, desperate times call for critical measures. It didn't make much sense to me how he was being overly polite and I honestly wished to know why he picked my number out of the numerous ones in her contact list.

Putting the phone on speaker, I drawl quietly over to my mum and handed my phone to her. I saw her smiling widely upon learning who was on the line. I wasn't interested in listening to their dialogue, I just wanted it to be over with so I could return to my room with my precious phone.

"I will send one of my men over to deliver the phone to you in your apartment. Just text me your address." I heard him saying over the phone.

"Oh thank you very much, my child. I'll have my daughter do that immediately." I cringed at my mum's words, turning to face Salma as we ambled back to the dining area.

"Where is Imran?" I inquired, sitting across from Salma.

"He left?" She answered flatly.

"Why,"

"Oh, he said his grandmother was involved in a domestic accident. She fainted or something." She informed me and took a sip from her glass cup.

"Subhan Allah!" I exclaimed. "That is it, he didn't say anything else?" I asked, my eyes widened at the thought of Grandma in a critical situation.

"He asked me to tell you not to think much about what you overheard us saying, it was a little misunderstanding." She smiled, winking at me and I was forced to smile back.

"Really?" I asked and she nodded in reply. "Why would he say that?" I questioned, giving her a playful look. She shrugged her shoulders.

"He must have thought of you rejecting him at the first instant." She guessed. "That's why he said that." She answered with a sly smile.

I laughed and shook my head, remembering my conversation with him at his brother's house and the time when we almost did something stupid in the garden. I wondered what got into us. It was unlikely that a thing like that should happen in a normal circumstance.

Salma's eyes were on me, as my mind drifted back to those moments; She was interested to learn what I had going on in my mind. She knew me well enough to read my mood. I looked away in an attempt to brush the old embarrassment off.

"What have you done, Hannan?" She questioned, raising her brows at me.

"Nothing, why?" My voice was unconvincing which increased her doubt and suspicion.

"C'mon! Hanny." She stood up and moved to my side of the dinner table. "Tell me, what have you done?"

"Are you crazy? Get away from me!" I smiled, standing up and throwing her hand away, one that she had wrapped around my shoulder. If I told her about the incident at the garden, she would probably tell Kulthum and both of them would make light of it, making the whole situation too bashful for me to bear. I know my friends, they are capable of causing such damage to me. Not to mention, the news might even get to my mother. And I have no idea what my mum would do or say if such happened.

Salma gasped in a hushed whisper, seeing me quiet for a while. "Is it that embarrassing to talk about?" It was pretty much embarrassing but I wasn't going to tell her to double the embarrassment.

"Go away, I don't know what you are talking about."

"Did he already ask you out?" She teased, clapping her hands on her lap.

"No," I gave her a smug look and rolled my eyes.

"Wait! Are you two secretly dating?"

"Now cut it out, Salma. You know that's unIslamic, dating is Haram." I was saying before spotting my sister, Teslim heading in our direction, looking very pale and tired. Reading her expression, she was looking anything, but happy. I knew it was the current state of her marriage and home that kept her in that mood.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale." I inquired. I wanted to ask if she had heard from Ahmad, but I was a little distracted by Salma pulling at my curls.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why aren't you two ready yet?" She asked.

"Ready for what?" Salma and I said in unison.

"Zaid's grandmother has been hospitalized and Mother said we should get ready to visit her at the hospital." She informed us.

"We just have to get dressed then," I replied.

"Well then, hurry up. We are running late." She made her way past us toward her room. "And don't sit there chatting, I know you two too well. You don't run out of gossip when you two are together." She complained, making Salma and me smile.

Once Teslim was gone, I hated the silence that fell upon us. I knew Salma would resume asking her pressing questions which annoyed me, slightly.

"You said dating is Haram, right?" She said, looking at me as though she was considering something. "So would you marry him then if he proposed to you?" I saw her head back to her chair and made herself comfortable.

"I still have two years left to finish school, it will take me that much time to answer that question," I said, a little off which she noticed.

"What? You don't think you are ready?" She asked, staring at me eye to eye. I stared back and shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know the answer to that question. For a moment, I forgot what I wanted. Her question took me by surprise.

"Women are never ready to get married," I said, rising to my feet. "So if you ask me this same question three years from now, I'll still not be able to answer it." I turned around and started heading toward the stairway.

She was silent for a while, then I heard her saying. "You do like him, don't you?" She asked and I paused, allowing myself some time to think about it.

"Well, I don't hate him," I replied, unsure of what to say next. She gave me a questioning look. I continue to make my way up the stairs.

"But you know he loves you," I heard her saying.

"Love? Where is that coming from?" A sudden surge of resentment rose in my stomach.

"Come on, don't act as though you don't know what I'm talking about."

"I don't know what you are talking about," I exclaimed. I was getting disgruntled already. The dialogue was not yielding any fruit.

"Please! Don't use your schooling as an excuse to reject him when he finally proposed to you." I turned around almost abruptly. I knew she was trying to be annoying and I couldn't stop myself from saying the next words that came out of my mouth.

"Now you listen to me carefully," I warned, taking a few steps back to her. "Imran and I are just friends and that is all we'll ever be. Don't make a big deal out of this." I raised my voice, making every word loud and clear to her hearing.

I saw her looking frenzied at something and I traced her gaze to see what she was staring at. And I just died of shame when I realized it was Imran. He was standing there. He heard every word I just spoke to Salma.

"Er! I just came back to pick up my phone." He stuttered as he matched to the table, where he left his phone."I'm sorry for the interruption." He took his phone and just began to make his way to exit our apartment.

"Imran, wait up." I rushed after him, throwing quick strides.

"I'm sorry, I can't. I have to see my grandmother." He stormed out of the living room.

"Wait up! I take it back, it was the stress speaking." I was explaining when my reply was the sound of his car speeding away.

"Don't worry, I don't think he heard. " I heard Salma saying as I dragged myself to my room. I deliberately refused to respond to her words. I suddenly realized how keeping quiet was a lot better than making a fuss over everything.

Salma and I silently entered the room. I walked over to my closet to pick out my dress, a plain black abaya, and my maroon Shayla. Salma, on the other hand, went over to my wardrobe and took out her clothes, an emerald green maxi dress, and a black veil. It was a lot better dressing up in silence. It surprisingly makes the process easier and quicker.

*****

At twilight, when the soft light in the sky was seen to reden, illuminating the atmosphere just before disappearing below the horizon, Ahmad and Zayn were accompanied by Omar in the parking lot.

It wasn't until late afternoon when Zayn picked Ahmad from the airport. They both decided to pay their beloved friend, Omar a visit. Omar was delighted to see his old friend and the three men decided to keep each other's company for a little longer. After seeing Omar and making sure they had a great time with him, the brothers were content. It was time to take their leave.

Now Zayn stood in front of his car along with Ahmad, talking a little more formally than they usually do. Ahmad noticed a great change in his manner of speech and couldn't tell what was wrong. He tried to make light conversation to change the gloomy atmosphere, while Omar strolled back to the house.

Moments later, they both took their positions in the car with Zayn in the driver's seat and his companion at the other side. Ahmad noticed how Zayn constantly took glances at his phone, and each time he did so he grew impatient and unhappy.

"Is something wrong? You seem a little under the weather."

Zayn cleared his throat as though the words that he wanted to say had stuck there, piercing his throat, "It's my grandmother, she has been involved in an accident."He said, looking at Ahmad as he pronounced the words and they both exchanged a grave look.

"How did it happen?" Ahmad asked.

"I have no clue. I left home when it happened. I was told she slipped and fell in the bathroom." Zayn answered dryly without humor as he drove out of Omar's yard. And Ahmad gave him some words of encouragement and a comforting pat on the back.

Moments later, they arrived at the hospital's parking lot. It was getting dark already and Zayn knew he should drive Ahmad home, he needed to rest, for he had had a long day throughout the journey. But he desperately needed to see his beloved grandmother. He could not pass the night without knowing the current state of her health. From what he was told earlier, she was holding up just fine, as her condition wasn't as dire as he had presumed.

It wasn't long until they sauntered into the waiting room, where the other members of the family had gathered. Ahmad had been leading the way with Zayn slowly tailing behind him. But something had stopped him on his track, and Zayn didn't fail to notice that. Instantly he craned over Ahmad's shoulders to see what he was gazing at. "Are you alright, Ya Akhee?" Zayn whispered in his ear and suddenly Ahmad felt a brick drop in his stomach, then he nodded.

The pair of Almond brown eyes that now stared back at Ahmad was enough to make him lose his train of thought. He was simply unsettled, for those pair of sad orbs belonged to his missing rib, Teslim. What is she doing here? He couldn't help thinking, as he stepped aside for Zayn to take the lead.

"Is there something bothering you?" Zayn inquired, examining him, seeing that he was beginning to take a leave of his senses. Ahmad sighed and threw a shy glance at his wife. And without any utterance, Zayn immediately understood the situation.

"I keep," Ahmad began whispering in a failing voice. He had to stop feeling like a rock had lodged itself in his throat. "I keep thinking of the last thing she said to me before she left."

"What did she say to you?" Zayn knitted his brows together, trying to get what was going on in Ahmad's mind.

"She....by Allah I can not make such utterance in the presence of anyone, including myself." Ahmad sighed softly. Tied up in his tangled thoughts he had almost forgotten that there were other members of the family present in the room where he and Zayn had been communicating in almost unspoken words.

"I wish I could share your pain, but honestly, I can't relate, my dear friend." Zayn knew that there was nothing he could do to change the situation and the only solution to that, nonetheless, was that Ahmad faced his problems head-on. "Take this opportunity as one of numerous signs of Allah's mercy upon you. Alhamdulillah, this is a blessing from our Lord."

"What do you mean?"Ahmad looked up to meet a very familiar gaze. She looked quite pale and she had been carrying their son, Fahad, on one shoulder. As their eyes met, instantly he looked away and returned his attention to his companion.

"Well," Zayn put an arm around Ahmad's shoulders, pulling him closer, and whispered something in his ears. He didn't mind that everyone had been staring at them with dubious eyes. "Allah has eased the path to accomplishment for you. Lucky for you, she's here in flesh and blood. You didn't have to go to her. What I mean is that you should go to her and sort things out with yourselves."

"Right now?"Ahmad arched a brow.

"Well?" Zayn shrugged.

"You don't understand Zayn, this is wrong timing. I'm not prepared for this at all. I didn't expect to meet her here, today of all days."For Ahmad facing his guilt was harder than facing his pain. By Allah, he could not stand her eyes gazing upon him like that. It was a reminder of how selfish he had been. It wasn't just about giving his father what he had desired, it was mostly about his own comfort and happiness.

"Nobody is ever prepared for situations like this and there is never a perfect time for anything. You are not going there to deliver a lecture, just say what you have to say."

"I shouldn't have listened to my father, I shouldn't have left her. I should have....."

"You stop that, my friend. These thoughts are no good. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault."

"Can we talk outside?"Ahmad felt like the situation seemed rather unnatural, seeing that everyone had been looking at them suspiciously.

"You think you can escape this?" Zayn raised a crooked brow, which meant 'What are you so scared of.'

"I wasn't trying to," Ahmad replied, a little put off as Zayn seemed somewhat reluctant to even budge an inch. "How'd you even know where it hurts, when you are not the one wearing the shoes."

"Come on, don't be like that. It won't kill you to face your fears head-on."

"You know there isn't much difference between you and me right now," Ahmad asserted, a small smile teasing his lips. Zayn nodded because he knew that piece of reality. "I know that you are concerned about your grandmother. I wonder how you are so calm."Ahmad then added and watched Zayn open the door. They both exited the room, leaving others, staring aghast at them.

"I worry more about you, my dear friend. Your condition seemed to be more critical compared to grandma's " Zayn made fun of him. It was funny how they both laughed despite the circumstances they both found themselves in that evening. To think they were seeing each other that very day, after so many years.

*****

†Moments Later†

Zayn had left his beloved companion and his better half to deal with each other despite their differences. It was a shame that the situation they found themselves in was not befitting their reunion. He was now heading to the ward where his grandmother had been admitted to see her. As he approached the door, he thought of how he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for letting this happen to her.

In the room, Zayn was surprised to meet his paternal uncle and a nephrologist who diagnosed her with Nephritis resulting from renal calculus. He had been informed of his grandmother's sudden kidney failure which was quite critical. There had been an arrangement for her to get a hemodialysis treatment which was due the next day. Zayn had a few questions to ask the doctor before he commenced the treatment. He needed to get as much information as he could since it was his first time learning about her condition. He called being told, while he was away that his grandmother used to pass blood in her urine.

Zayn requested to see the Nephrologist outside for a few minutes, so he left the room with his grandma under the watchful eyes of his uncle, Hussein Ibn Al-Ali.

As he strolled across the hallway with the doctor, a girl came into view. She was holding a bouquet of flowers and a fruit basket covered with a knitted woolen cover cloth. Zayn wasn't the one to look away when he made eye contact and she was certainly not ready to shy away when his gaze became intense.

When Hannan stared back with the same energy oozing from him, he wanted to avert his gaze from her, only that he wasn't looking at her with contempt, just acknowledging that the green-eyed monster staring daggers at him was everywhere. First, she was at the party, then at Omar's office, and now at the hospital. She seemed quite popular with people around him. She must be a family friend to the patient in the twentieth ward, the one who is down with a disease they knew nothing about. He had seen her there earlier.

Now seeing her enter his grandmother's ward bothered him. What business did she have there, he couldn't help but wonder.

He resumed conversing with the specialist who had suggested that Grandma be placed in the intensive care unit until her dialysis treatment was over. She was barely conscious and very weak and the doctor would rather begin her treatment early to avoid tales of tears. To this, Zayn nodded and went on to see his grandmother.

Later that evening, when darkness had veiled the world and the crescent of a new moon had presented itself in the sky, Ahmad was accompanied by Zayn in the parking lot, after praying Salat Al-Ishaa in a nearby Masjid (mosque). Both Ahmad and his dear friend were concerned after seeing his wife. After seeing Teslim and making sure that she was well, both brothers were delighted and left her, promising to visit soon.

Ahmad stood in front of the hospital building along with Zayn, talking a little more conventionally than how he would have wanted. He noticed a great change in his mood and couldn't tell what was wrong. He tried to make light conversation to change the gloomy atmosphere but it didn't yield any effect. Zayn seemed bothered about something else entirely.

Teslim was being accompanied by her mother to the parking lot while Hannan waited, impatiently for them in the car. Hafsah and her daughter were taking slow steps which took forever to reach the car parking space.

Hannan stared out the front window of the car, at the man who stood facing her brother-in-law. She observed his form. He wasn't looking too good. There was something about his mood that seemed very suspicious. Even in a normal circumstance, Hannan couldn't imagine Zayn laughing and having conversations with anyone. His way of approach and those forceful laughs and fake smiles seemed very odd to her.

She couldn't make out what they were discussing from that distance but she could tell that Ahmad was trying to console and make him feel better about his grandmother's condition. Zayn looked like he was going through terrible trying times. If only Ahmad could bring him solace. Her heart cringed because seeing him like that tells a different story about him. His current mood didn't suit him at all. She was used to a more fierce and intimidating Zayn. Right now she was looking at someone else she couldn't recognize. She had seen him earlier and he wasn't looking like that.

Subconsciously she observed his features and noticed how underdressed he was. Appearing in a casual outfit certainly wasn't his style: He wore a tailored suit pants and a white long-sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. She noticed the absence of a necktie which revealed his lean collar bone which made him look less stern in appearance. It was also her first time seeing his hair worn out of a ponytail and falling on his shoulders. Although when they were much younger he always scared her when his hair fell like that but today he looked less petrifying.

When Ahmad saw his wife and mother-in-law coming in their direction, he and Zayn immediately took the opportunity to see them both off. As they drew nearer, Hannan knew that her heart was in trouble. She couldn't stand Zayn from a close distance. His presence always awakened places in her heart she never knew existed. She sank in her seat, hoping to hide herself in the shadow of the door frame. From that hidden position, she felt safe and hoped she could observe him unnoticed from there.

She noticed Zayn's tall and slim figure that stood out among his companions. He had been talking to her mother with his hands stuffed in his pocket as they walked side by side with Ahmad and his wife. He looked normal, kind of handsome too even with that cringed forehead of his and that imperious look in his eyes. She didn't like that stony impression he wore. Something was bothering Zayn, she saw it in his eyes.

A small voice tolled in her head. Maybe it was the sound of her wounded ego, telling her to stop. She didn't know why she was noticing every single detail about him like she always did. It hurts to think that she willingly allowed herself to notice him. For some reason, it made her sick to the core. She shut her eyes for a second, hoping to free her mind from the thought of him, but when she opened her eyes again, they travelled to the same image she had been staring at, Zayn Ibn Hassan Bin Ali was the only image she wanted to look at now. She kept staring at him like an interesting piece of art.

Her lips twitched into a bashful smile as she recalled her friends glorifying him for his good looks. She will never admit that to herself, but there she was close to admiring him. Despite the sympathy that rose in her heart for him moments ago, she wanted nothing more than to hate him even more. He was an arrogant man who was undeserving of Ahmad's respect and friendship.

How is it that someone she despised so much was now the one to invade her thoughts? He had been on her mind all day. What was he doing there? He didn't belong there. The thought of him made her sick but she couldn't stop thinking about him, even if she wanted to. Although she learned it the hard way, she knew now that the hardest kind of resistance is against yourself. When your head wants to explode with thoughts, but you prefer to burn slowly so you don't miss any piece of your memory.

She never knew what disaster was, until that very moment. Disaster was when her eyes accidentally met his, she slightly peeked at Zayn from under her lashes and saw his dark eyes looking at her too. Their gaze met each and she almost died of shame when he caught her looking at him first. She felt her heart skip a bit and something flipped in her chest. She was unsure what that was. He gazed penetratingly at her and she squirmed. Moments later he took his intimidating eyes from her. Then at that instant, just like the wind gusting through the Willow trees, she felt a strong desire to just disappear out of sight.

Lucky for her, Zayn was less concerned about her. He was simply worried about his grandmother. Fortunately, he had ended the conversation with her mother, and watched Ahmad saying the Salaam to his wife. After the pleasantries and greetings, he was now heading back to the hospital with Ahmad.

When her mother and sister took their positions in the car, Hannan heaved a dramatic sigh, announcing her annoyance and the distress she had endured during the process of waiting for them.

"Finally, y'all remember we have a home." She cried, the sound of which woke Salma up from her peaceful slumber.

"What happened?" Asked Salma, rubbing her eyes.

"Please, ignore my sister. She's being a pain as always." Teslim purposefully said to annoy her.

"Really? Is that all you have to say? I demand an apology. You wasted my time, now I have to skip my night routine." Hannan complained but was practically ignored by everyone in the car. They watched Zayn and Ahmad as they strolled back to the hospital and when they disappeared, Teslim decided to start up the car. It was her that was driving this time.

They drove quietly on their way home until Hannan broke the silence. "I didn't know they were still friends."She put forward, taking a glance at her sister.

" Who?" Teslim asked, absentmindedly.

"Your husband and his friend."

"You mean, Ahmad and Zayn?"

"Yeah,"

"There was never a time they stopped being friends. It may have seemed so because Zayn was out of the country for quite a long time."

"Is this the first time he has seen him since he came back?"

"Who now?" Teslim seemed confused

"Zayn."

"Since when did you keep the list of my husband's friends?" Teslim snickered in an effort to embarrass her sister. "Zayn is Ahmad's best friend, they've been friends since childhood and they never grew apart." She finished saying.

"Oh! Seems to me like there's a dent in their friendship." Hannan murmured, more to herself. "I don't know how Ahmad can be friends with him and cope with all that pride." She said loudly, grabbing everyone's attention. Even her mother was astonished by her hateful accusation.

"Pride? Where did you get that from?"Teslim was surprised too.

"Why can't you all see that he is proud, arrogant, and tactless?" she said with disgust. "That man is anything but humble." She asserted in an annoyed voice and her mother couldn't help but glare at her.

"And what gave you the impression that he is anything like that?" A frown flashed in Hafsah's eyes, disappointed at her daughter's imprudent utterance. "Zayn is like a brother to you. Don't talk about him in such a manner." She warned, and Hannan wrinkled her nose in disgust at her Mother's words.

"I don't think he is proud," Teslim stated, taking a turn to the street that led to their house." He might look that way to people who don't know him, but he is really a good man, a modest one too." She praised, making Hannan laugh at what she thought was her sister's innocence.

"Are you kidding me? That's because you only see the formal side of him." She pressed, earning a dark glare from her mother.

"Are we mistaking something here?" Teslim beamed out of the blue, giving her sister a teasing smile. She knew just how to shut her up now. "It seems to me like someone is falling for him. That is why you can't see past his charms "

"Wait! What?"Hannan instantly hated herself for bringing up the topic in the first place. " No, I can't imagine myself with such a person." She frowned, it was now Teslim's turn to laugh at what she thought was love in disguise.

"I only said someone, I didn't say who or what. Your guilt gave it all away." She taunted to spite her further.

Salma wanted to chime in on their banter, but she seemed a little put off by Hannan's attitude lately. The girls have not been on talking terms since Imran left their apartment.

"I think you two will make a perfect couple." Teslim winked at her annoyed sister."What do you think, Mum?" She laughed and Hannan retched, cursing herself for breaking the silence. She felt like it was much better when they drove in peace.

"Why not? He is a fine catch for a husband. He is handsome and seems very professional." Hafsah remarked, taking her older daughter's side while the other retched in pain. The bantering went on and on between both sisters. Hannan was no longer interested in their playful banter. She was glad when her mother intervened.

"Now stop it you two." Their mother silenced them. There was peace in the car for some time, but Hannan's obstreperous opinion about Zayn seemed to scream louder in her mind and she couldn't contain it.

"I seek refuge in Allah against any misfortune. It can never be me." She spat when her sister pulled over at the apartment.

"What was that for?" Questioned Teslim with a raised brow.

"Nothing," She shrugged and stepped out of the car.