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Stars

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NAKATINGIN lamang ako sa mga tala sa kalangitan, malamig na ang gabi at hindi man lang ako nag-atubiling kumuha ng kumot para maibsan ang panlalamig na nararamdaman ko.

Napakaganda ng gabi! Ang sarap matulog sa labas pero nakakatakot pa rin kasi baka may biglang gumapang na ahas at kagatin ako.

Kasalukuyan akong nasa bubong at ilang oras na ngang nakatulala sa taas. I kept staring at the stars since there would be a shooting star na dadaan mamaya. Pero bukod pa roon ay na-enjoy ko naman ang view sa kalangitan.

I'm curious why these stars, planets, and galaxies exist. Are they here to give us comfort at night? Or are they here for a reason?

Is it true that those sky candles are the souls of dead people?

I can't help but ask those questions. Napaka-misteryoso ng mundo at may mga bagay pa rin na hindi nabibigyang kasagutan.

Natigil ako sa aking pag-iisip nang isang pamilyar na pigura ang tumabi sa akin, buti na lang gawa sa asphalt shingles ang bubong kaya hindi masyadong mahirap kapag naglalakad kasi hindi madulas.

"Deep thoughts?" he asked.

I sigh, "Yeah. Lonely things moments. . . "

"But I'm here na. Lonely pa rin ba?"

I smiled. Napaka-conyo niya talaga kahit minsan. But that's the reason why I love him.

But the longer I stared at him, the more blue my mood became.

Because this guy is not what they are expecting.

"I'm still lonely, kahit nandito ka. .," I said with teary eyes. My chest pounds so fast, and it keeps getting heavier every second. "Why can't I be with you?"

"Nandito naman ako. . . right beside you. . . "

Mas lalong nadurog ang puso ko sa kanyang sinabi. Para siyang hangin, he's there, but I can't feel his presence.

"Damn you and your existence!"

Napasinghap ako't agad pinunasan ang aking mga luha.

"Sorry, Shreya, but there are things that can't be together. You can only have their memories, but you can't be with them anymore. . . and the only thing that matters now. . . is that they're part of your life."

When he said those words, my heart crushed.

Kasabay ng pagtanggal ko ng salamin ay ang biglaang paglaho ng lalaki sa aking harapan.

My tears betrayed me. They kept falling, so I hugged my knees.

Because the boy beside me was my virtual boyfriend for five years. . . And I despise the fact that no one pursued me in real life.

At kahit masakit. . . I guess. . . I'm letting him go. . . for good. . .

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