"Life had broken her, but she was still there, persisting in the shards of her broken pieces."
~Atticus

Spencer

I woke up for the twentieth time that night, and I'd only gone to bed two hours ago. I hadn't been able to sleep since my fight with Elsa. The argument replayed over and over in my head despite happening almost a week ago.

Praying Elsa would be beside me this time, I rolled over to drape my arm over her, but my arm met with empty space. I discovered that not only was Elsa not there, but the sheets weren't even touched, telling me she hadn't come to bed.

Again.

I got up and treaded silently downstairs to the living room, where I found Elsa curled in a ball on the couch, her blanket on the floor. I picked it up and covered her with it. Elsa stirred, and I froze. Thankfully, she only snuggled with the blanket and stayed asleep. I sat on the other end of the couch, not wanting to leave her alone. I hated not having her by my side at night; I needed to talk to her about that argument. I wanted to apologize and tell her she is my mate, and she is the other Alpha. I don't know what I'd been thinking when I said those things... I probably wasn't thinking at all.

My stress had been building up for a long time, and when Elsa told me she was going out by herself to find possibly hostile wolves that could kill her... well, it sent me over the edge. She's been the one constant throughout all of this, and I couldn't imagine doing this without her. I regretted everything I'd done and said to her. Taking my stress out on her was shitty of me, and I pushed her away because I didn't want to drag her down with my issues. Instead, I made it worse.

I made it worse than worse.

I had to find a way to make it up to her. I had to keep trying to get her to listen to me. That way, I could tell her and show her and prove to her that my love for her was as strong as ever.

I glanced over at Elsa, wondering if she'd hate me if I carried her upstairs to bed. I should be the one on the couch, not her. I'm the one that caused the shit we were in. Besides, if the others found her asleep down here again, Finn and Rey would make us sit down to work this all out, and I don't think Elsa wanted to do that. If she did, she wouldn't make up an excuse every time I asked her if we could talk. Of course, the stigma around the words 'we need to talk' probably wasn't helping. Elsa most likely thought I wanted to break up with her, which was the furthest possible thing from the truth.

But, with her fast asleep, I couldn't do anything about my mistakes tonight. Instead, I decided to flip through the TV channels, trying to find something to watch, but like always, nothing seemed interesting. Not at one in the morning. Dismayed, I turned it back to the channel she'd originally been watching and closed my eyes, intending to get more sleep.

Then Elsa screamed.

"ANNA!" My girlfriend flung upwards, eyes wide in panic, chest heaving up and down. Her whole body trembled as some unknown communication seemed to occur between Elsa and her twin.

"Elsa, what's wrong?" I asked, sliding next to her and placing her hand on my back. My girlfriend jumped at the contact, eyes wild with fear. I took hold of her hand and said, "Hey, I'm here. Talk to me."

"Anna," Elsa breathed. "Something's wrong with Anna. I think- I think-"

The words wouldn't come out as Elsa broke down into uncontrollable sobs. I pulled her close to me while trying to hide my own fear. I'd never seen Elsa like this before, and to see her react this way, whatever Anna was involved in, it was worse than bad...

"What's the matter?" Finn demanded, landing in front of us. The rest of our pack stood behind him, all staring at us in sleepy bewilderment.

"Something's wrong with Anna," I said. "Elsa woke up out of a dead sleep, screaming. She won't say what's wrong."

Rey knelt down, uncharacteristically tender, as she asked, "What happened with Anna? We can't help unless we know."

If possible, Elsa sobbed harder, but she managed to stammer out, "She's dy-dying..."

My heart stopped at the news. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Dom or Lily, but to feel them dying? I don't know how I'd survive that if I even could.

With that in mind, I turned to my pack and said, "Rey, come with me upstairs to help pack for Elsa. Finn, stay here with Elsa. Mia, Jace, and Killian, I want the three of you to pack too. You're coming with us. Be ready in twenty."

"Where exactly are you going?" Finn asked suspiciously.

"We're going back to Estes to find out what happened to Anna. We won't be there long, just long enough to figure it out. Now take over for me while I go pack."

Finn shook his head. "No, I'll go help you pack. Rey, would you mind staying here? I think she needs a-"

"Girl's help? I've got it. You go help," Rey said, switching places with me. Elsa leaned into her, still incoherent, although the sobs had gone silent.

Finn and I sprinted upstairs to my room, where we pulled out the suitcases. I picked out clothes for Elsa and me and anything else we might need. Finn was delegated to packing it.

I didn't exactly feel like talking; my anxiety and worry over Elsa was through the god damn roof. But Finn had other ideas, inquiring, "What's going on between you and Elsa? And don't tell me it's nothing. I know she's been sleeping on the couch for the last week."

"I said things I shouldn't have. I shut her out and took my anger out on her. I made her feel like this was all her fault, and that I didn't love her anymore." I braced myself against the dresser, the turmoil of emotions threatening to overwhelm me. Having said everything out-loud confirmed the truth of what I did, and I hated myself for it. "All I want to do is help her right now, and I have no idea how to that. She won't even let me talk to her, so I can apologize for this shitstorm I've caused."

"That's Elsa for you," Finn said. "Hell, that's the whole bloody Laroche family. I don't mean the pack, either. I mean the family itself."

"I don't understand."

"When they're hurt, they shut down and act like nothing is bothering them when in reality, everything's eating them up inside. Laroches are made of steel forged by fire that'll withstand everything you throw at them. But it takes just one thing, that one weak spot, and that steel snaps in two. When it's forged together again, it returns stronger than before. It takes into account what made it break and accommodates that for when it's forged again." Finn came to stand next to me. "Elsa's steel was broken recently, and when it was re-forged, she decided not to give people the benefit of the doubt because recent life events taught her not to. Her own family turned their back on her. Then this thing you two are going through, it's getting to her. I know she's hoping it'll work out, but she knows better. Elsa's not giving you the benefit of the doubt because she's always preparing for the worst, so she won't be hurt again."

"What do I do to fix this when someone has a literal will of steel?"

"Prove her wrong. Show her you're different than everyone else that has turned their back on her. Deciding to go to Estes for her, putting yourself in danger for the sake of finding out about Anna's fate, that'll go a long way with her. I bet she'll open up after this mission."

I sighed, pushing down the knot of fear growing in my stomach. I had to do this for Elsa's sake, but something screamed at me not to return home.

"I appreciate the help, Finn," I said gratefully. "I want you to know the reason I'm not taking you and Rey is because if something happens to Elsa and me, the pack needs capable hands to lead them. I can't think of a better pair than you two."

Finn blinked in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"Elsa chose you as her Beta for a reason, and I trust her judgment better than my own right now. You can do it."

"That means a lot, Spencer. Thank you."

I nodded. "You're welcome. Now, let's hurry. I want to get on the road ASAP."

Six hours later...

We were just outside of Billings. Elsa stared blankly out the window at the passing scenery. Killian, Mia, and Jace rode in the car behind us.

The entire trip had been deathly quiet. I racked my brain for something- anything- to say to help Elsa feel better, but what could I say when she sensed her sister dying? What could anyone say to that?

Her hand still rested in her lap. For the last six hours, I debated whether or not to take hold of it, but I didn't know if she wanted anything to do with me. Now that her hysteria passed, her cold-shoulder treatment returned. I didn't want to invade her space if she didn't want me to, but I also wouldn't know if I didn't try.

"Elsa," I said softly. She looked over at me. I held out my hand, offering for her to hold it if she wanted to. I could see the gears turning in her head, debating whether or not she should. For an agonizing few moments, she just stared at my open hand.

As I was about to give up hope, Elsa took hold of it. I kissed the back of her hand, and her grip on me tightened.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For not telling you everything. I-" Elsa trailed off, tears cascading down her cheeks. She took a moment to gather herself. "I haven't been able to communicate with Anna since a couple days after we left. It's like something was blocking me. Then she screamed my name and kept saying she loved me. There was this blinding pain, and then... nothing. I can't feel her. I can't tell if she's alive or dead, and I'm terrified."

"You didn't tell me because I've been an absolute asshole, and I'm so sorry. I'm the only one who should be apologizing right now." I kissed the back of her hand again. "Whatever has happened to Anna, I'll be by your side no matter what. I love you, Elsa, and there's-"

I never finished my sentence.

A powerful force slammed into the side of our car, and my world went black.