Returning home after 10 years. what should I do?  I should dance, or sing. I am on the clouds but fearing I will land on the ground in a blink. He finally called me yesterday and told me to pack my stuff. he finally remembered he has a daughter and she is alive. He never tried to contact me in 10 years but yesterday he called maybe sun didn't rise in Seoul or he suddenly remember by looking at old photos her daughter is somewhere living in any corner of this world. 

A thousand questions were roaming in my mind when my phone showed the name "Dad". his voice sounds the same just like the day he told me to go to California, cold. I begged him not to send me away but he never listens to my words as if his mind stops processing the words I say. 

Questions were left hanging in my mind. before I could speak, he cuts the call and I never had any courage to call back. I wanted to ask him why he never came to meet. I wanted to tell him that I miss him every day, every night when nightmares give me company. I am displeased with him. My all complaints were left unlistened.

 I needed him when my demon pushes me in the pool of regrets, guilt, pains, hatred to save me from drowning in it. But each time reality shouts at me that I am alone, so I have to learn to swim in it if I wanted to survive. 

For 10 years I was alone. My loved ones never contacted me beside my grandparents. But still, I feel alone. Tomorrow I will be going back to my home which I know, will no longer have the same environment as before. Everything will be changed there. Just the house will be the same. 

I just wanna few people there and don't wanna look the faces of few. But I can never avoid them if I will leave in the house, a big mansion. My room will be the only place to hide. I hate them so much. they were the main reason my dad and my mom left me and my brother hates me. I want them to feel the same pain I had felt and most importantly the pain my mom felt. My blood boils whenever my thoughts cross to their names.  They are like a storm that had ruined every single thing in my life. I want them to taste the same storm. I am afraid what if I feel have to go through the more disastrous storm ...