"She stayed distant hidden secrets, unrevealed feelings. No one knows the reason why she committed violence to herself. The rage within her, no one knew of her sufferings."

- Unknown

Kim Tae-Hee

It's my chance to tell him about myself. I have to reveal the saddest part of my life. I have to let out everything today. I was having a battle inside whether to tell him or not? I was thinking not to tell him that chapter. But, if I didn't tell him I will never be able to reveal the other time.

This past is destroying my present and this will affect my future. I don't know what should I do to let go of this past? It's so hard to move on. Life makes me stand at the same place again and again. I walked away from it but it pulls me back. Now, it is becoming my part. Every day I thought about it. Every night it haunts me. It never leaves me alone. It had made me its victim and wrapped around me its chains, and the hold of it so tight that sometimes it bleeds a lot, it gives me pain so much.

People who would have helped me to overcome this biggest demon had left me alone to fight it alone. Every day I cried for them to come back but they had turned their back at me. They were also fighting with it but they were all older than me. If we all had a fought with it together we would have won against it. But they left me alone on the battlefield.

Every day I tell myself to move on. To live a normal life like everyone is living but I fail. Life makes stand me at the same place, again and again, I turn to run away from it but it pulls me back to the same place from where I had started. Whenever I see my steps I remember everything. It feels like the scars which had been healed have again started bleeding; the pain in it increasing and it hurt a lot.

Today, I will promise myself to move on. But this promise I will break only. I never full this promise and will never be able full fill this. It becomes a part of me without it I will be incomplete or complete.

We both were sitting in the balcony of Kim Tan's room, drinking coffee made by me, and looking at a busy city. Lights had brightened it so much. All city was lightening like stars in the darkest night. All were busy in their lives and their own problem. Busy city shining like stars.

Kim Tan was waiting for me to speak but he didn't say anything. We both were just looking at the city shinning down. I was gaining the courage to reveal the darkest secret of my life.

I speak up, "I am the daughter of one of the richest man of South Korea. I am a girl without a mother. When I was born I didn't know I brought happiness or sadness in my parent's life. It's a secret to me. Life of . . .

The life of Kim's family is going normal. They all were happy in their life. Everything was going well. There was no tension and no fighting. They enjoy their family breakfast and dinner. They talk a lot at dinner; telling each other their whole day story.

This happiness was not for long. Someone entered their life and destroy this all; ex-girlfriend of Kim Joon ′ Kim So-Hyun'. Their home was no longer a home. ; It turned to a house, ′ A Lifeless house'. The house no longer echoed with laughter and talking. It was full of unknown silence. Every wall was trying to adjust in this environment but it's very hard to adjust. The breakfast and dinner no longer told any story. They all ate their breakfast, lunch, and dinner in silence.

Silence tune was heard by the people living in the house but it was not heard by the person because of whom there was silence in the house. A girl name, ′ Kim Tae-Hee' tried hard to remove the fog of this silence from her house but she was small to understand that it was permanent. She tried to make the food time a storytime but she failed in bringing the old days. Finally, she understood that the old days are gone, no one can bring them except her dad.

Kim Woo-Bin had accepted this new environment. Deep inside his heart, he wanted to go back to the old days. He tried to understand why this all changed suddenly but he failed in understanding it. He starts turning into a closed book for his father and sister but for his mother he was an open book because he couldn't hide anything from his mother.

Oh Jeon-Joo accepts everything. She knows what turned her living home into a lifeless house. She tried hard to turn it like before but she didn't know in this trying she will turn herself into the lifeless soul. She tried to talk with her husband to change everything and turn it into normal but her husband now lives less at home. She never got a perfect time to talk with him. Every time she tries to approach him, he pushes her away by telling her lie that he is busy in his business work and it is very important. So, she didn't approach him anymore. Each time she gains the courage to talk to him only for her children because she can't be selfish. Her mind tells her to leave him but heart says first think about your children and then do anything. Each time she hears her heart.

She was getting tired and she needs his husband back. She starts getting negative thoughts to finish her life and end this pain. The pain of not being love is increasing with each day. She stops herself from doing any wrong thing because for the sake of her children. She woke up every day with a fake smile and sleep every day by soaking the pillow by her endless tears. Her heart is getting full of scars given by his husband's words,

'You are just a burden on me.'

'I never loved you.'

'Take divorce from me and leave your children here.'

'I love her and not you.'

'I am tolerating you just because of the promise I given to my dad and nothing else.'

'I used you. I used you for a time pass.'

'You are not my time.'

'I just fake loving you.'

These words killed every second slowly and painfully. Their house was turning into a fighting war whenever Kim Joon comes home. She cannot control this all anymore.

The walls closed ears from listening to these brutal words. The children closed their ears and tears are flowing from their ears. This all was new for them. They never heard their parents speaking to each other like that.

Their house no longer holds anymore the laughter of Tae-Hee also. Their house was full of dead silence. The silence was so strong that a mere whisper was heard and it sounds so strange.

All were turning into a closed book. Kim Woo-Bin no longer speak his father. He started hating to see his face. Kim Tae-Hee was small, she was trying to adjust. She just plays in her room with her toys and speak with them and tell them what is happening in her house nowadays. In her dreams also she found her father yelling at her mother and she woke up at the midnight by crying and screaming loudly. Her mother starts sleeping with her. She starts getting scared of his voice. She always ran to her room whenever her father came home and never came out of it till he is gone.

One day at night they both were fighting and on that day Kim Woo-bin came to know that they have two more siblings. On that day Kim Tae-Hee came to know that her father didn't come to the hospital to see her and she cried so much at night. Her room was echoing with her cries and screaming's. She wants to stop the sentence repeating in her mind, ′ Her dad never loved her'. On that day the house falls apart fully.

Days were going now silently. No more chatting, no more talking, and no more sharing. No parties were celebrated in the house. It was a big house, a grand one. There was everything but not peace and love. Living inside that house feel like living in a jail, with no freedom. Freedom is there for namesake, in reality, there was none. Silence is eating the people inside it. It feels like it stops the supply of oxygen in the house. The fresh air never comes inside. A single sound feels like a strange sound to ears.

***

Kim Tae-Hee's birthday was around the corner. She was not all excited about it. She just wants to spend her birthday by watching a movie with her mom and brother. She doesn't want her dad to come home on her birthday but deep inside her heart, she wanted to celebrate her birthday like before. She cannot forgive her dad for making her mom cry at night. She secretly stands outside her mother's room and listens quietly to her sobbing sound. Each sound hurt her heart.

She never told anyone about this besides her toys. She let out everything going in her life to her teddy bear gifted by her dad on her fifth birthday. She tells all her secrets to it.

***

Her birthday came. She wakes up late in the morning as she loves sleep more than anything. Sleeping was her favorite task to do besides teasing her brother on small things.

At 12 o'clock at night her brother and mother wished her and then she slept with them in her mom's room. They had a peaceful sleep after a long time.

In the morning they all wake up late. Oh Jeon-Joo cook, Tae-Hee's favorite breakfast as it's her princess birthday.

Kim Joon comes back from his trip in the morning when they all were enjoying their breakfast. Tae-Hee wasn't happy to see her dad. She wants to shout at him and told him to go back. But she doesn't want to hurt her mom and didn't want to spoil her birthday. So, she just ran to her room without eating her favorite breakfast.

Tears were rolling down on her cheeks and she just closes her room door and cried till her heart felt light. She closes her light and goes to sleep but sleep is not coming because of words of her classmates were ringing in her ears.

Kim Joon ran behind her daughter and stand outside her room's door. He was gaining the courage to open the door of his princess's room. He wanted that his princess should run to him and should start asking questions, which he loved to answer. But he saw hatred in her eyes for him. Why did she run to her room? He wants to know.

He opens the door and saw her princess lying on her bed. He heard her sobbing sound. He sits beside her on her bed. She knows someone is sitting beside her but she didn't turn.

He speaks, "Princess, what happened?"

She didn't speak anything. She is angry with her dad. She was just lost in the lines said by her classmates to her.

'My mom was saying to be away from Tae-Hee. She is a bad girl.'

'Her father had one more wife and children.'

'My dad was telling my mom that Kim Joon had an affair with a woman.'

'Kim Tae-Hee's dad hate her.'

'Her dad never attended the father's day function.'

'Her dad never comes to saw her daughter's singing.'

'My mom said not to talk with Kim Tae-Hee because her dad is not a good person.'

She put her hands on her ears to stop this all lines. She doesn't believe these lines. She didn't want all those students to be her friend. She is happy with one friend, Ji-Hu. He never says anything bad to Tae-Hee. He always tells her to ignore all these people. They all are just jealous of her and her dad. But Tae-Hee knows something is wrong with her dad.

"Princess, what's wrong? Please tell me?" he sounded a little bit worried.

Kim Tae-Hee sat on her bed and looked at her dad. Tears were glistening in her tiny eyes. Her nose was pink.

"You want to know what's wrong. First, answer my questions then I will tell you what's wrong. Do you one more wife? What's the meaning of the affair? Do you have an affair? Do you hate me? "

Kim Joon was shocked to hear all those questions from her. He can't believe his ears. He doesn't what to say to her? What to tell her?

"Who said to you all this?" he asked while lifting her daughter in his arms. She wants answers to all this question and not to question in place of answers.

"First you tell me answers to my questions," she said while playing with the collar of his shirt. He knows the answer to these questions but didn't know how to tell her.

"Princess, today we all are going on a yacht to celebrate your birthday. We all will do a lot of fun, you, me, mom and Kim Woo-Bin. So you should get ready and then we have to catch our flight. It's been a lot of time since we all had spent time together,"

Kim Tae-Hee didn't show any happiness for this trip. She was just waiting for his dad to answer her questions. She was getting insane day by day. She wanted to know what all this happening and why all this is happening? She was tired of finding answers herself and she has a full right to know.

Kim Joon thinks his daughter is small to understand this all. But deep inside his heart, he was ashamed to tell his daughter what he did. He ashamed to tell her that he had a wife and more children beside them. He ashamed to tell her that he cheated on his wife. He ashamed to tell her that he broke his dad's promise. He was the reason for all this destruction in their life. He didn't want to break his dad's promise but what he should do about his heart? How should he close the feelings he had for Kim So-Hyun? How can he see her first love with someone else? He didn't want her to know anything at all.

He knows his selfishness is the reason for the destruction of this house. He should be blamed for turning this house into a dead place. He is the reason for destroying three lives just because he can't leave his first love.

"Dad, please answer my questions?" she said hugging her dad tightly. As she fears that whatever her dad will speak is going to break her heart.

"Hey sweetie, its better some secrets are not revealed, they will only destroy the lives," he said while tightly embracing his daughter.

***

They all go on a trip to Busan. Tae-Hee was excited to go on a trip after she told her mother everything. Her mother cheered her up and make her mood good after all today is her princess's birthday and she doesn't want her to be sad on this day.

After arriving at the hotel in Bussan, they freshen up and they all will go to a place decided by Kim Tae-Hee. Kim Woo-Bin doesn't want to go on this trip but he came just for her mother happiness. He was happy to see her sister smiling and not having a sad face. A smile playing on Tae-Hee's face brings the smile on two more faces.

They all first had lunch and they all decided to go to a natural park

'Taejondae' Kim Tae-Hee decided to go. She was super excited to go there.

As they reach there. Her mouth was wide open. The view was breath-taking. Bluewater and a beautiful sun shining in the sky. Greenery all around, fresh air, the wind was blowing. After a long time, all are feeling relaxed. They all need this break from the depressing life.

They all had a lot of fun there. They all played with water. They go to see a lighthouse. In the end when they all get tired, Joon had already made some plans for his family. He owns a yacht. So he had planned to spend two days on it with his family and try to build a relationship with them.

***

They all were sitting on a table on a Yacht in open. The night sky was full of stars. The stars were shining like a diamond and their reflection in the water was more beautiful. One can spend the whole night gazing at those stars till his/ her eyes get tired of seeing them and no one will get tired of admiring the beauty of the lord.

There was silence. One can hear the noise of water only and the sound of spoons. They didn't talk. All were busy in eating Dwaeji Gukbap (pork and rice soup) and Dongnae Pajeon (pancakes with seafood, scallions, and beef). None had spoken anything since they are on the yacht. Kim Tae-Hee had declined to cut the cake.

They all go to sleep without speaking.

The morning was the same. No one said a word. They were all just busy in their own work. Kim Joon in business calls a work; Oh Jeon-Joo in reading a book; Kim Woo-Bin in playing the game on his phone; and Kim Tae-Hee in admiring the sea.

Kim Joon came outside while talking on the phone, " I told you I will come tomorrow... don't worry we will celebrate their birthday... Of course, I will bring gifts for my Superman... Now you don't disturb your mom. Dad will come tomorrow to meet you both... love you too." He didn't know Kim Tae-Hee was also sitting there and she had listened to everything. As he cut the call she was standing in front of him with tears shining in her eyes.

"You are liar dad. You don't love us. You had a beautiful family beside us whom you love more than us. You hate us dad. Dad, did we do something to hurt? You never love us. All this fake dad. You can't see the pain of my mom. I hate you, dad... I hate you... you are the worst dad ever... no one should have such a dad..." She ran while repeating the line ′ I hate you dad'. She goes to her mom and cried on her lap. Joon comes behind her.

"Mom, dad doesn't love us. He had one more family whom he love more. Mom, we are just a burden on dad. Mom, why God had given such a bad dad? I hate him, mom. I hate him," she said while sobbing. Kim Woo-Bin came out of his room and ran to his sister.

Oh Jeon-Joo, look at her husband questioningly. What happened to her daughter? She wants to know. What he did now?

"I didn't do anything."

"Mom, he is lying. Mom, my classmates say truly that my dad doesn't love me. Mom, he was talking to his new family. Mom, the student told me this but I always fight with them my dad can't do such things. Today, I find out that was not lying. They all said that my dad doesn't want me. I am just a burden on him," she said while wiping her tears with her hands.

Oh Jeon-Joo indicates her son to take her inside in her room. But Kim Tae-Hee didn't go inside rather she let out everything from her heart and mind.

"You don't love my dad. I am not your princess anymore. I am just a burden on you. My mom loves you so much but you only gave her pain and nothing else. You also slapped her once. But still, she loves you and you hate us." This all was so much for Oh Jeon-Joo to hear. Kim Woo-Bin drags her sister in her room and closes it. He can't see her mom in so much pain. He hates his dad so much. He should be blamed for this.

Oh Jeon-Joo said only one line, "You killed me today." No one knows that these are her last word. She falls on her seat and her head was down. Kim Joon went to his room and gets lost in the words said by her wife and daughter.

Oh Jeon-Joo was trying to cry but all tears are dried. She opens her daughter's room door and found her sleeping on the floor. She put her on the bed and kiss on her cheeks and forehead. Then she goes to her brother's room and found him standing in front of the mirror, lost in his own thoughts.

"What are you finding in a mirror?" Oh Jeon-Joo asked him while closing the door. He looked at her and she saw tears in her son's eyes.

"Trying to find out if I look like my dad or not."

"You don't look like your dad much but you resemble more like your grandfather. Kim Woo-Bin, I came to ask you one thing or you can say I came to ask a favor," she said.

He came closer to her mom and hold her hands, her hands are cold.

"Will you always protect your sister?"

"Of course I will mom. But why are saying this mom?" he asked worriedly.

"Nowhere," she said and the left room. Leaving a worried Woo-bin inside.

***

In the evening, Kim Tae-Hee woke up and look for her mother. She couldn't find her anywhere. As she goes out to the poolside she starts shouting. She found her mother in the pool lying. She called her mother but she didn't respond.

Kim Joon and Kim Woo-Bin ran outside and were horrified to see the scene before their eyes.

This changed their life. All the things changed. Their life was turned upside down. Tae-Hee and Woo-Bin both were broken. They were shattered. They hate their dad more. They both made a distance from each other. They no more communicate with each other.

The house was dead. There is no one who will ask them about their school, studies, and friend. There is no one who will look after their food and will cook their favorite food.

Oh Jeon-Joo can no longer hold that burden. She was dead from inside. She doesn't want anymore to live. There was no one who will hear about her story; who could help her; who could make her live again. She was just living for her children but the pain that night was so much when she saw her daughter in that state. She takes her life herself for her freedom. She becomes selfish at that moment and takes the wrong decision. She knows she was doing wrong but her mind was saying to take this step and finish all this pain for a whole life. She listened to her mind and get her freedom. But her freedom takes away the happiness of two innocent lives.

Q: What do you think about Tae-Hee's past story?

Please, don't take suicide as the only step for freedom from this pain. Life is full of ups and downs. We just can' spend whole life with happiness, we will get bored with happiness. So, life gives us sadness not to let us get bored with happiness. Life is a precious and beautiful gift from God. We should live our life fullest. The pain will be there on the path but we just can't stop walking because we are going through a hard time. We shouldn't stop at the pain and think that we can't do but we can do it. It's not easy to fight the pain but it's not hard also.

We have to fight against that pain, struggle, depression, and many other difficulties in life. There is a beautiful quote, "DREAM AS IF YOU'LL LIVE FOREVER. LIVE AS IF YOU'LL DIE TOMORROW." Live life as a gift and not as a burden.

Don't finish it by taking the wrong steps. Suicide is not the option or a solution to the problems. We have to find a solution to every problem because every problem had a solution. We have to take efforts in finding the solution and not in ending our life just because of a useless problem.

If you are going to a difficult time or situation talk to your friends, parents, family member, any person whom you can trust. Sometimes telling the problem to someone help to get a better solution to the problem.

I am also here to listen to your problem. PM me when you are in need of any help. I would like to help you in solving your problem.

Thank you very much for reading this chapter and for giving my book a chance.