Nikolas's POV

My eyes traveled from the beer in my hand to Alex beside me. He took his last chug and placed the can aside, his eyes on the TV. He somehow decided to drop by unannounced as he always does and I've been contemplating on how to tell him what happened.

"Okay, what's up with you?" He asked with a loud sigh, his eyes drifting from the TV, all of his attention now on me.

I shrugged, "What?"

His eyebrows pulled closer, "You keep looking at me, and that kind of scares me, what do you want? Or what did you do?" He added, suspiciously, "You did something, didn't you?"

I sighed and leaned forward in my seat, my eyes anywhere but at him, and told him what's on my mind, "Lilly saw me," I mumbled.

When he didn't reply, my gaze drifted back to him. He stared at me confused, "Saw you? When?"

Okay, he doesn't look angry. That's a good start.

"I dropped by your place a couple of days ago, I wanted to talk to you about something, and then-" I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face, "She saw me then."

"Weird, she didn't say anything."

I smiled, "She's a smart little one," I mumbled, realizing how she kept it a secret like I asked her to.

"Uh-huh," Alex mumbled and I wondered what's going on in his mind.

"And?" He asked, expecting me to say more.

"She remembered me," I mumbled.

"I know," Alex said.

My eyebrows pulled together as I faced him, "How?"

He shrugged, "Let's just say she always asks me about her other daddy," He sighed, "Gotta tell you, if someone hears her, it may give us a gay reputation, just saying."

I fidgeted with the can in my hand, "Does it bother you?" I asked, addressing the whole calling-me-dad situation.

"Being called gay?" He asked ever so seriously, "Like I am not homophobic or anything but if I am gonna get the reputation, at least let me have it with someone better, not you, also-"

I raised my eyebrow and he paused in his rambling and shook his head, "Not really," he answered my actual question, "It did at first, when she didn't know who I was," He said, "But now, you're someone she cares about, I can't take that away from her."

It still leaves me baffled, his actions toward me, his calmness toward situations like this. I kind of need him to be angry at me again, to shout and throw in my face every wrong thing I've done to him, yet still, he's here. If I ever need him, I know that he'll be here and I don't think I deserve it.

Having a constant in my life, yeah, that's something I am not used to.

Something I am still trying to get in terms with.

Alex cleared his throat, his eyes drifting to his watch, desperately trying to change the subject, "I should head out," He started and got up to his feet, "You also have your appointment with Natalie, right?"

I shook my head, "I am not going."

He paused in his steps and his eyebrows pulled together, "Why?"

"What happened?" He added, curiously.

Silence.

He sighed, "What did you do?"

When I didn't answer again, his eyes narrowed at me, "You didn't kill her, did you?"

I shot him a glare at his over-dramatic response and mumbled, "Worse."

His eyes widened a bit, "Jesus Christ, what's worse than killing her?"

"She kissed me."

His eyes grew even wider, "She..she what?" He tried to ask, "When? How?" Shock enveloped his features, "She kissed you?" He stressed out again, getting in terms with the news before a big smile broke down his face, "Oh man, I knew that girl got it in her."

I stared back at her confused, "What?"

He was really smiling, like actually smiling, "I am so great, seriously, I really know how to pick 'em."

What the hell is he talking about?

His smile slowly dropped as he thought about it more and his eyebrows pulled closer, "Hold on, why are you not going again?"

"I told you, she kissed me," I answered in a matter of fact.

"Yeah, the more reasons you should go," He tried to explain.

I shook my head, "Like hell I will," I mumbled and he rolled his eyes, "Why would she do that anyway?"

He shot me a glare, "Because she likes you, stupid!"

Did he just call me stupid?

"The more reasons I shouldn't go," I clarified.

Alex facepalmed, "Oh my god, oh god what is this I am dealing with?" He talked with himself, "What is this man made of?"

He is insulting me now, isn't he?

I shot him a glare, "What would've you done?"

"Well, the last girl who kissed me, I married her!"

"Well, we are two very different people," I mumbled.

"For the first time, I actually agree with you on something." He said and shot me a hard glare.

He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, "Look, I didn't bust my ass trying to find you a young hot therapist so you stop going to her at the first chance you got."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "I knew you did that on purpose!"

He rolled his eyes, "No shit, sherlock!"

"You're going." He ordered.

I shook my head, "No."

"The girl likes you, what more do you want?"

"Nothing, because I don't like her."

"No, you do," He shot me another glare, "It's just your thick brain trying to convince you that you don't deserve this."

Well, I don't. A voice in my head whispered.

"Doesn't matter," I said, "I am not going, end of the story."

A frustrated sound made it out of Alex's throat before he headed toward the door, "And I'm gonna leave right now before I put your head through a wall!"

With a heavy sigh, I pressed the back of my head against the couch and heard the apartment's door being slammed shut.

I pressed my eyes closed but they glided open again when I heard the door being opened before his footsteps neared and he came back into view.

He shot me a glare, "I forgot my keys," He mumbled in annoyance before he grabbed them from over the table.

He stood there for a couple of seconds and his eyes narrowed at me, "I am not gonna find you another therapist, keep that in mind."

I nodded, "I don't need a therapist, Alex."

"I am fine," I added.

He scoffed and I interrupted, "I am, really."

I am in control these days, therefore, I am fine.

"Like hell you are," He mumbled and I still didn't understand one thing; was that care from his side, or was it fear, that I would just snap again.

Still, he didn't need to be worried. I am fine for now. I haven't lost my restraints yet. I haven't heard the monster's voice whispering things in my head for too long.

"Your definition of fine isn't what fine is really about." He said, almost as if he's reading the thoughts in my head.

"It is for me," A small smile lifted my lips and I addressed what he's so obviously trying to do, "I don't need a girl in my life, Alex."

My eyebrow raised, "Actually, the last thing I need is to bring someone new into my life," I explained, "It's dangerous, and you know that."

He didn't comment on that, because he understood how accurate my words are. Everyone who enters my life will end up getting hurt.

The past couple of years alone are proof of that.

So, there is no need to bring more innocent people into this.

He seemed hesitant, words fighting to come out of his mouth but he tried to stop himself. The muscles of his jaw tightened and before he could object more to my decisions, I explained my point of view.

"Alex, I was supposed to die that day, but I didn't," My words had him looking away, like he couldn't bear to hear them and face me at the same time, "There must be a reason why I didn't."

His eyes fell back on me, "A second chance?" He suggested.

"A chance, but not for me," I shook my head, "It's more like a chance to correct some of my mistakes," To keep those who I care about safe, "A chance to get rid of Isaac once and for all."

"And after that?" He asked, his eyebrows pulled closer, "You kill him, and after that, what will happen?"

"I don't know," It'll be a miracle if I'll make it out of that in one piece, "And to be honest, I don't care."

A loud very unsatisfied sigh left Alex before he sat down again, losing his will to fight me over this, he ran his hand through his hair, "You mentally exhaust me, you know that," He commented, very seriously and I couldn't help but smile. Why does he put himself through this?

"That's what brothers are for," I said, earning a hard glare from him.

He shook his head and looked away, "I just want to-" The muscles of his jaw tightened, "I just want to help, that's all."

"Why?"

His eyebrow raised, "Because that's what brothers are for," He answered, mimicking my words.

I nodded, that newly warm feeling seeped over my chest, "And that's all I need."

His eyebrows pulled closer and he shook his head, "Don't make this awkward," He sarcastically remarked, "I didn't mean it with the gay thing, so back off!"

I sighed, my gaze drifting back to the TV and away from him. I can maybe get used to his presence in my life, but definitely not to his weirdness.

He leaned back into his seat, getting himself comfortable again. Hold on, wasn't he just leaving?

"But you gotta admit," He started, a smirk pulling at the side of his lips, "I would've been good at this matchmaking, picked you a good one," He shrugged, "The problem is you, definitely not the girl."

He is right. There is nothing wrong with her.

The problem is in me. Natalie, she is searching for her prince charming.

And I am not that.

No matter how this will end, I will always end up being the villain in her story.

************

One week later...

Natalie's POV

I hate him.

I stare at the clock in front of me and sigh in frustration. Yes, I do. Very much indeed.

It's been more than a week since our fake date and Mr. hot pants hasn't attended any of his sessions. He didn't even have the audacity to call and cancel. No, every day I wait for him past my working hours and he just doesn't show up.

If I don't know any better, I'd say he died.

I hope he did!

No, I don't. That was a bit mean, sorry.

For the fifth time this week, I angrily stood up from behind my desk and gathered my things, planning to finally leave. I give up on waiting up for him. I won't be waiting anymore. Never.

I stuffed my things into my purse and felt the need to let out an angry scream. Damn him, if he doesn't want to see me this bad, he can at least call and cancel, not just disappear from existence.

The knock on my door doesn't shake me out of my current angry state, I grab my coat and mumble a very frustrated, "Come in."

The door opens as I wear my coat, I push my arm into the sleeves and fail. I groan in annoyance and try to reach for the sleeves once again. I fight with the coact as my gaze flickers to the door and I stop dead in my track.

Expecting it to be the cleaning staff at first, I freeze when my eyes clash with his beautiful green ones.

I gulp down, immediately trying to hide my shock and I blankly remark, "What are you doing here?"

His eyebrows pull closer at my hostile reaction, "Well, today is one of our sessions," He checked his watch, "Isn't it?"

"Well, sorry, when you didn't show up for the past five sessions without much of a call, I thought you fled the country," I shrugged casually, "Or maybe you died, or..." Jesus, I gotta chill.

He understood my anger and nodded, "Yeah, sorry, that's why I came here today," He stepped forward, "I wanted to say that you can take my name off your schedule," He shook his head, "I won't be attending any of the sessions from now on."

My heart dropped down into my stomach at his sudden words. I kissed the guy and he just...ran away. I hated myself for being so bold that I practically drove him away. I know that he was never the biggest fan of our sessions but he was getting used to them lately, up till I kissed him and probably freaked him out.

Way to go, Natalie. Way to go.

Unease blistered over my skin but I tried my best to hide my shock and disappointment. I nodded, deciding not to discuss this or even try and change his mind.

"There are just some papers you should sign," I mumbled blankly as I took off my coat, "If you want, I can prepare them now, so you don't have to come back here again."

He nodded, "That would be great."

He really is trying to get rid of me as fast as he can, and I had the audacity to think that I was growing on him over the past month.

Without further talking, I turned on my computer to print out the agreement, wishing this to be over as fast as possible.

You see Natalie, this is what happens when you go crushing on your patient. Not just it's ethically wrong, it even scared him away.

I tried my best to keep my focus on the computer's screen, avoiding any type of eye contact at the moment. From my peripheral vision, I saw as he walked closer and sat down on the couch, waiting for me to get this done.

I could feel his eyes on me as he cleared his throat, "Uh, you're, you're really good at what you do," His out of the blue words had me lifting my gaze to meet his, "I don't want you to think that I am doing this because you are not," He clarified, "This is just not the right thing for me."

By the right thing, does he mean therapy or does he mean...me?

Licking my lips, I couldn't help but ask, "Is this because I kissed you?" I casually addressed the subject, "Because you know that was just a part of our little social experiment."

He shook his head, "No, it's not about that."

I nodded and lowly mumbled, "Good to know."

He seemed to want to say more but his eyes suddenly flickered to the closed door of my office. Confusion drew his eyebrows closer, "Usually there aren't many people in the building at this time," He commented, as if his observation is out of the ordinary.

I shrugged, "Maybe the other offices haven't closed up yet," I said, not even hearing the other people's voices. I was too angry to even care who is still here and who's not.

I drifted my attention back to the screen, and pressed print on the file I selected. Nikolas's curiousness had him getting up to his feet. He walked to the windows of my office and looked from there, his gaze drifted down to the building's entrance and around.

I stood up and headed for the printer to get the papers out, "What's wrong?" I asked.

His eyes stayed outside, "Something just doesn't feel right."

His words doubled my confusion, "What do you mean?"

He turned around and his questioning eyes fell on me, "The cleaning guy, the old one with the hat, where is he?"

I didn't understand what he's trying to know or how he even noticed Greg, the cleaning guy, from before, "Uh, I think they replaced him, another guy took his place today," I mumbled, unable to register where he is going with this.

"A young guy, right?" He asked and walked closer to me, "A bit tall, tan, doesn't look from around here?" He added and I nodded, agreeing with his description, "I saw a glimpse of him when I got into the elevator, he has a tattoo over his neck, did you happen to see what it is?"

I nodded, "Actually I did, in the morning when I got here, he was talking with the receptionist, his tattoo was kind of weird which made me stare longer than I should," My eyebrows pulled closer, noticing how weird our conversation is, "Hold on, why are you asking about this? And how come you even observed the cleaning guy?"

"It's because I observe everything, Natalie," he said, a bigger meaning hiding in between the lines, "Now, can you describe the tattoo to me?"

My gaze drifted to the ground as I thought back to today's morning, "It's like a girl's face, not a girl even, a very weird face, with three hands coming out of it," It was too weird not to notice, "It kind of formed a rectangle," My gaze went back to Nikolas and noticed as something akin to shock and worry creep into his eyes.

"Fuck," He cursed under his breath before I felt his fingers wrap over my wrist, "We need to get out of here, now."

He pulled me closer, his touch urgent and ready to drag me away. But then it happened, so fast, too quick for me to understand or grasp what's going on.

The electricity suddenly went off, the door was torn open after, and the windows shattered.

A loud gasp erupted from my lungs when Nikolas tore back and shoved me to the side. I stumbled backward, tripping into the floor. Pain exploded at my forehead when it collided against the desk's edge.

I didn't have time to feel the pain when gunshots pierced into the room. My wide eyes registered as two figures tumbled into the office. In front of me, Nikolas whipped out a gun and took aim at one of the attackers, he dodged the other mad men's aim and fired back at him as well. Two shots sent both men backward, one of them hit the wall behind him, and blood spurted everywhere.

Even with the electricity off, the lights from outside the shattered windows made everything clear.

"Oh, god," I moved backward, plastering my back against the desk's feet, running away from this as I heaved for my lost breath, "Oh my god..."

Nikolas whipped his head toward me, the muscles of his jaw tight, his eyes now wild and inspecting me from head to toe.

"I am...I am fine," I wasn't at all but somehow felt the need to assure him.

Before he could crouch beside me to check, my eyes grew wide when I saw another man walk into the room, "Look out!" I screamed.

He moved faster than my eye could register and took the man down with one shot only, another one followed and Nikolas dealt with him too. I had a strange feeling I was watching a man do exactly what he was born to do. He killed them with such precision and ease, yet with unhidden wildness and delight.

He didn't kill with the self-defense adrenaline rush, no, he killed like was trained his whole life just to do so.

He marched at one of the guys, slamming him against the wall, he cocked his hand back and slammed his fist against his face. The man tried to fight back, pushing his body forward but Nikolas took that as his chance to twirl him around. I watched in horror as Nikolas's arm wrapped around the man's neck, with the enough pressure, he pressed down at it and I swear I heard the sound of his neck snapping before Nikolas threw the man's limp body into the floor.

Nikolas walked back toward me, he crouched in front of me, finally taking my attention from the bloodied bodies over my office's floor, "What's happening?" I asked, my voice weak and barely made it out.

His eyes flickered from over my injured forehead to my eyes, the muscles of his jaw tightened, "I think I got caught," He answered.

My eyebrows drew even closer, "By who?"

He looked at the dead bodies then back to me, "By my father."

What?

"What does he want from you?"

"Isn't it obvious?" He said, "He wants me dead," He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, "And now you got brought into the mix."

He turned his attention back to the door, "First, I need to make sure there are no more of them out there before I can get you," His gaze fell back on me, "So, I need you to stay here," He strictly ordered, "No matter what happens or whatever you hear, stay here till I come back to get you, understood?"

In a haze, I stared back at him, still trying to understand how a couple of minutes ago I was cursing him for not attending our sessions and now there are five dead men on my floor.

"Natalie?" He said, shaking me back in, "I am not gonna let anyone hurt you, okay?" He added, probably reading the immense fear vibrating off me, "But I need you to hide here till I make sure the rest of the place is clear, okay?"

I gulped down and nodded. I couldn't say a thing but nod.

He took assurance from my nod and immediately backed away and walked toward one of the dead bodies, he bent down and grabbed what looked like a knife and a gun from the dead man's pocket, before he walked outside of the office.

I backed myself into the small space between my desk and chair and hid myself in there. I pulled my knees up and hugged them, I closed my eyes trying so bad not to think of the dead men on my floor or of the one man who came into my life two months ago and turned it upside down.

First, those who followed us in the car and now this. I didn't need him to say it out loud, it was more than obvious to which world Nikolas belongs. The way he masterfully killed them, the way he fought the guy and snapped his neck without even flinching, how easy it was on him to take a life away. Multiple lives.

It definitely wasn't his first and I am sure, it won't be his last.

This man is beyond dangerous.

I wasn't just playing with fire with him, no, now that I realized, he is the fire himself.

***********

Nikolas's POV

I let the knife drop to the ground, it clicked when it fell beside the two dead bodies.

My gaze flickered from the blood over it to the same red liquid tainting both of my hands now. I raised my hand up a little and eyed it. It's been a while, a long while since I last killed with my bare hands.

It's different, much different to take someone's life like this. When I aim the gun and shoot, I feel nothing. But this, feeling the warm blood seeping in between my fingers as I see the life ever so slowly leave their eyes, that has always been my drug, my release, and comfort.

I had decided to stop it before, in order to keep the monster in me at bay. The one that craved this type of destruction. The one that loved the pain, loved to inflect it.

At this moment, as I stood there and stared at my hands, as I felt and smelt the metallic scent of blood, I realized that I haven't been detoxified from this drug yet. I still crave it. I still...need it.

After so long, the monster in my head talked, whispered things that were too dark for my brain to process.

His voice is not my own. No, the man who once ruined my life died, but his voice stayed alive in my head. It was always his voice. The monster in me was always just a reflection of him.

My jaw tightened and I curled my fingers into the inside of my palm. I took back my control and silenced his voice before I turned around and headed back toward her office, ready to get her the hell out of here.

Once I reached the office, I saw Natalie's body curled into the corner of her desk, hiding there and waiting for me. I walked closer and at my footsteps, her terrified eyes flickered up. Relief washed over them when she noticed it's just me.

I crouched down by her side, my eyes first checking her forehead and the blood that seeped from there. Fuck it, I pushed her too hard, but it was the only way to get her out of the bullet's path.

Involuntary, my hand went to her face and my fingers wiped at the blood there. She winced at the contact and I immediately retreated my hand back, "Come on, let me get you out of here," I said, extending my hand to help her get up.

She didn't hesitate as she placed her hand in mine and got up to her feet. She stood on shaky legs and her eyes drifted around the ruined office. It seemed that just now she let everything sink in, she pressed her hand to her mouth, "Oh my god, what am I gonna do?" She mumbled, both in fear and worry.

"I will fix this, don't worry," I said, trying to assure her.

She whipped her head toward me, her eyes widening, "Don't worry?" She asked in disbelief, "How can I not worry?" She asked, anger enveloped her features as she shot out, "This my office, this is my job, look around you!" She screamed, "There are dead men in my office for god's sake!" She pressed her palm over her forehead and mumbled to herself, "What am I gonna do now, what am I gonna do?"

"I told you, I will get this fixed," I stressed out again, growing impatient, "Just trust me."

She glared at me, "Trust you? Seriously? I've been shot at twice because of you!"

I raked my fingers through my hair, I pulled into a deep breath trying to keep myself calm, "Tomorrow is the weekend anyway, you don't have any appointments, so till Monday, all will be back the way it was, I will also be out of your life so you won't get shot at again, now stop testing my patience and let's get out of here," I ended the sentence by grabbing her arm, ready to drag her out with me.

She pulled her arm out of my grip, "I am not going anywhere with you!" She stressed out angrily.

I really don't need this right now.

Stay calm. Just stay calm.

Calm and easy, Nikolas. Calm and easy.

"It's not an option," I said, "The new cleaning guy was one of them, he was here before, meaning he was watching you, you're a target now," I explained, "Meaning they will end up killing you, and I really don't need more guilt to carry around, so you'll stay under my supervision until I fix this and make sure you're safe," I took a step forward, "So, you either willingly come with me or-"

She gulped down at my words and took a step backward, "Or?"

"You saw what I just did," I said and my eyebrow raised, "Do I look like the type of person you wanna mess with?"

She stared at me like she's seeing me for the first time, "Who the hell are you?"

"Someone who should've not came into your life," I extended my hand, a friendly offer this time, "So, let me fix that."

She didn't move and I gathered whatever control I had in me to explain it without using the violent way, "I am not gonna hurt you, Natalie," I said, "I need to make sure you're safe, so you can't go back to your place, at least not for the next two days till I figure out what's going on."

She nervously rubbed at her arm, "Where will I stay, then?"

"You can stay at my place, no one knows where I live, so it's safe," I added, amazed at how I handled this without losing my temper, "Just two days, and I will be out of your life for good after."

Her throat bobbed, her eyes went to the dead bodies over the floor before they flickered to me and she hesitantly nodded her head.

I started to walk away, so did she by my side. I made sure to check each exit, just to be careful. When I reached my car, she stopped and her eyes grew a bit wide, "Hold on, what about my cat?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Seriously now? I am thinking about her keeping her alive and she is asking me about that animal thing.

"It's just two days, it's an animal, can't it function on its own?"

She shot me a hard glare like I had just insulted her, "No, she can't stay alone!"

"Look, we can't pass by your house tonight, it's a big risk," I can't believe she's willing to risk her life for an animal.

And they say I am the crazy one.

"Then tomorrow morning?" She asked, "Can we come and take her tomorrow?" She gave me her puppy eyes, "Please?"

I nodded, "Okay, whatever."

I am never hearing the end of this from Alex. I can already feel it.

I got into the car, so did she. Before taking off, my eyes took one last scan at her, making sure she is actually okay. My gaze fell down on her hand that was shaking.

She was still scared. I don't blame her. I am used to this life, she isn't.

"I am sorry I had to put you through this," I said and her eyes snapped to me, a bit taken aback by my apology.

"I saw a side of you today that I never knew existed," She mumbled out of context, and her eyebrows pulled closer, "Fair enough, I don't know you for that long but I thought I could read people, see them for who they actually are."

She stared at me for a full second, "Expect you."

She shook her head, "You keep surprising me."

Little she knows how many more surprises I have in store. She saw me as a victim when I first came to her. She doesn't know that I am the bad guy. I am the same monster she was trying to treat me from.

"You like it, don't you?" Her words shook me back in.

"Like what?"

"Killing," She said, her tone neutral. Her gaze focused on my the dry blood over my hands.

"I killed them so they don't kill us," I said.

She shook her head, disagreeing with me. The psychologist in her thinking and analyzing every minute of what happened today.

She looked at me, hey eyes told me that she understood. That somehow she figured me out. That she found that dark deep place where I bury everything.

"You're in so much pain, Nikolas," She said, her eyes softening, "You don't say it, and you're even ready to deny it."

"But, you're in so much pain, it's agonizing and it's only going to destroy you."

***********************************

Are you ready for Alex and Natalie to meet face to face? Because it's happening next chapter xD
Can you imagine Alex's reaction lol?

Sorry for the long wait and love ya all!