"I'm scared as hell to want you.
But here I am, wanting you anyway."

**************

Nikolas's POV

I stirred from the depths of my intoxicated slumber, the remnants of the last day's events lingered still in my head, accompanied by a throbbing sensation that pulsed through my temples. Confusion enveloped me, a haze clouding my mind, as I pieced together the fragments, searching for the mess I had probably left behind.

I pried my heavy eyelids open and felt the room spin gently around me, like a carousel in slow motion. The haze of the night before clung to my senses, dimming the morning with a blurry affliction. I rushed a hand over my face, rubbing at my eyes as a low tired groan rumbled from my chest. I wanted to bury my head into the pillow and sleep forever so I won't have to face today; also known as the outcome of yesterday.

And yesterday, well, it wasn't one of my happiest days for sure...

I threw an arm over my eyes, unable to pry and adjust them to the morning lightness; the hangover digging holes into my skull wasn't helping my case either.

"Morning sunshine," I heard Natalie's soft teasing voice from somewhere so close. I could feel her shadow get closer, her familiar delicate scent invading my personal space and the mattress dipping slightly as she settled beside me. Instead of answering her, air harshly pushed out of my lungs and left my lips as a low, frustrated, and leave-me-alone sigh.

I am not ready to face her or anyone yet.

I heard her low chuckle when she sensed I was grumpy, unhappy, and hangover, "Come on, wake up," She urged, edging closer and I felt her hand on my arm, her little fingers wrapping over, trying to pry it away from my face and forcing me to wake up.

"Leave me alone," I grumbled.

"Nope, wake up, come on," She insisted and I reminisced about the days when I didn't have her in my life. No one annoyed me back then, no one dared to, except Alex of course.

A heavy sigh parted my lips and I removed my arm away, slowly blinking my eyes open, and adjusting them to the brightness. I winced slightly at the stupid sunrays that invaded my room and washed over my eyesight. I was about to pull myself up but...something was different, a bit out of place. I felt a small weight resting over my stomach, almost like a feather but it was there nevertheless, I was sure.

Confusion pulled my eyebrows closer and I lifted my head up just slightly, my eyes falling into that exact spot in exact, where a small little orange thing was fast asleep. Sorry, not a thing, it was fucking cat. A furry little orangy kitten, all curled up into a tiny ball over my stomach.

My eyes grew a bit wide, "Uh, Natalie-"

"Yeah?" I swear I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Why is there a freaking cat sleeping on my stomach?"

"Ohhh, that," She said and inched closer, finally coming into the direct path of my eyesight. She rested her hand over the thing's tiny body, almost covering it all with her palm before she ran her forefinger over his head, "That's Nachos."

Huh?

She lifted her teasing eyes up and they fell on me. She smiled, ever so evilly, "He is your new baby," She added, ever so enthusiastically, enjoying this way too fucking much, "You adopted him last night, remember?"

Horrified, I gave her a what-the-fuck look, "Get it off me, now," I shot out, and Natalie shook her head, "Oh, now you want me to touch him?" She questioned, her eyebrows raising in defense and she scoffed, "You almost pushed me off the bed when I took him from you yesterday."

"You insisted that he sleeps beside you or," She titled her head and gazed at the damn thing adorably, "Or on you."

I rushed a frustrated hand over my face, "Natalie, I am not in the mood for this," I grumbled out loudly, thinking she is messing around but the blurry images from last night started to gather around, till they formed a clear image. Fucking hell. I let the back of my head fall back into the pillow, trying to keep my calm and breathe through this...

Breathe in, breathe out. There is no reason to panic...yet.

Fragmented scenes from the night before kept pushing to the forefront of my head and I wanted to scream out loud and slam my head into somewhere as I recalled bits and pieces that were enough to ruin my already ruined day. Life never gives me a break, does it? If it is not Isaac and his mind games, it's fucking animals and whatnot...I give up. Seriously, I just give up.

Natalie's chuckle shook me back in and I opened my eyes, my gaze flickering to her, sitting beside me and enjoying my misery a tad too much for someone who claims to care about me. I shot her a hard glare, totally unfazed and utterly annoyed by everything. My eyes went back to that thing and I grimaced as I moved my hand closer to it, trying to be careful as I wrapped two fingers over its tiny body and immediately pushed it into the mattress.

"Hey!" Natalie shot out and slapped my arm at how I pushed the animal off me. My action shook the thing awake and he stretched his body before he threw himself down on the mattress and started licking his paws. I started at him with disgust, "I am going to the bathroom, when I get back, he better be outside my house," I grumbled as I got off the bed, practically running away.

Natalie's eyes widened and she shook her head, "Oh no, no," She said, "You are a mature adult who is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions, even the drunk ones," She added and I tried to understand what the hell she was saying, "You made the decision to adopt this cat, so you will, I won't let you take him back to the streets!"

My eyebrow raised, "Natalie, I am hangover, I am tired, my brain is still trying to recover from the drug and the alcohol's effects..." I said; Every sound around me felt amplified, piercing my sensitive ears like shards of glass. The world keeps appearing all hazy and disoriented as if I am looking at it through a foggy lens. So, I pointed my finger at her and added, "And right now, you are playing on my very last nerve."

Her eyes widened because this is probably the first time I ever talk with her but I kept talking nevertheless, "So, when I get out of the bathroom, that thing better be outside my house or I am throwing it out of the window myself."

She gasped and shot up to her feet, "I would kill you!" She shot out, infuriated by my threat, "You do that and I will throw you right after him!"

God, she is making my headache even worse.

"You brought him here, so you will take full responsibility of him or you have no idea what I'll do to you," She shot back, being an angry little thing, as if her threats could scare me.

I huffed out loudly and turned around, heading for the closet to pick something to change into, "I have no energy for this...or for you," I grumbled out, and right after that, I felt something soft hit the back of my head. I paused in my steps and turned around, looking at the pillow that hit me and fell to the floor by my feet.

My unfazed annoyed gaze flickered to that crazy loud girl and I shot her a glare, "Seriously?"

She rolled her eyes, "I prefer drunk you, at least he was nicer," She grated out and sat on the bed beside the stupid cat. She took him into her lap and caressed his head, whispering to him, but loud enough for me to hear, "Don't worry, I won't let that stupid big man harm you."

I huffed out and headed for the bathroom instead, needing distance away from her and that thing for some time. I went into the shower, and the cool droplets embraced my tired body, trying to wash away the remnants of the haze that clung to my skin. Despite the steam enveloping the bathroom, a fog of anxiety continued to cloud my thoughts, refusing to dissipate. As I closed my eyes, the rhythmic sound of the water hitting the tiles echoed like a mocking reminder of yesterday and each day before it, only amplifying my distress.

Stepping out of the shower, water droplets glistened on my skin like a cascade as I wrapped myself in a towel, still feeling all types of disoriented.  I reached for the razor and stood before the mirror, trimming my 5 o'clock shadow, trying to freshen up and force myself into the right mindset to carry on with my day. I tried so hard not to think of yesterday at all but I also couldn't make up my mind of what to do today, the fogginess blocking my head made it impossible to extract a single thought outright.

When I was done, I walked out of the bathroom, hoping that Natalie and the animal had disappeared from my room. But this is my life we are talking about, so of course they're still here. Natalie shot me a glare once I stepped out, still angry for some reason. I should be the one who is angry. Her gaze flickered down from my face, to my bare chest, going down till it fell on the towel's edge, hanging over my waist.

Her throat bobbed and she looked away, "It's a waste that someone with your unbearable personality looks like this," She mumbled, keeping her eyes away from me as she carried on complaining about me.

My headache was slightly better now, so I could finally tolerate her annoyingly cute self, "Look like what?" I questioned, my eyebrow raising as I picked up something to wear.

Silently, she turned to me and shot me another glare, trying to act unfazed and indifferent.

I rested my clothes on the bed and was about to take off the towel when she shot out loudly, addressing how I was casually about to change my clothes next to her, "Hey, you are just gonna do that in here!"

My eyebrow raised and I looked around, "It's my room, isn't it?"

She gulped down, squeaking out, "Well...yeah, but I am here."

"So, you can either join me, or sit down, or just leave," I answered ever so casually pointing out her options and her ears turned red at my words. Her adorableness is just too much for me sometimes, I can't resist it and can't possibly stay angry at her no matter what.

I resisted the urge to smile as I changed my clothes. Natalie on the other hand, apparently decided to just sit there and watch me, pretty much enjoying the show. I finished buttoning up my shirt and my gaze flickered to her, sitting still on the bed's edge right next to the cat, wearing her usual pink-white striped shorts and top, her blonde hair falling down and smoothly cascading over her shoulders and around her beautiful face. Her lower lip was getting tortured under her teeth as she watched me and every move I made.

When her gaze met mine, her cheeks flushed with a light pinkish color, her eyes expansive and filled with an innocence that seemed to overflow, like pools of liquid vulnerability. God, she is just so damn cute.

The corner of my lip tilted up slightly and I stepped forward, getting closer to her. Her throat moved and I was so close now that she had to slightly tilt her head backward so she can look up at me. I brought my hand to hers, wrapping it around it and gently urging her to stand up as well. Acting on instincts, she got up to her feet right away, her chest instantly bumping into mine, a mere breath separating us now. My hand left hers and went to her waist, resting there. My other hand went to her face and my fingers rested below her chin, tilting it up just slightly, my thumb near that beautiful mouth as I freed her lower lip and gently ran my thumb over it.

Her lips parted on impact and I edged closer, reveling in the fact that my closeness affects her this much and strips her defenses away because she has no clue what she does to me and my sanity. Her breath caught, a moment suspended in anticipation, as our lips drew near, destined for collision. Every nerve in my body tingled with an intoxicating mixture of desire and nervousness, as if time itself held its breath, yearning for her in every way possible.

But my brain played its usual trick, reminding me of yesterday and my gaze involuntarily flickered below to her neck, my eyes tracing the faint red lines imprinted on each side, visible enough for anyone to catch. The sight of them was like cold water being spilled all over me and the feeling that invaded my insides was bitter, it squeezed my lungs before it settled like a rock at the pit of my stomach.

My self-loathing had me drop my hand away from her face, purposely taking a step backward, and building necessary distance between us. My retreating action shook Natalie back into reality and she cleared her throat, licked her lips, and drifted her gaze away from me, trying to grasp for self-control, totally unaware of my messy thoughts.

Trying to change the subject, she bent down and took the cat into her embrace before she pushed it into my chest, "Go, feed him, he must be hungry," She ordered, ever so seriously.

Her action had me hold the thing instantly or it would've fallen because she removed her hands away. I stared down at it with a mixture of disgust and horrification. This can't become my life...no, I need to fix this. Natalie's eyebrow raised, threatening and warning me, "Come on, Nikolas, believe me, you don't want to see my bad side."

I knew I can't fight my way out of this so I kept the thing tucked between my arms as I stepped out of the room, trying to figure out a way out of this mess. I heard noises from downstairs as I descended the stairs, it sounded like Alex and Ronald maybe. An idea clicked and I hurried my steps; if I play this right, I can save myself from Natalie's rage and from the damn cat.

"Well, well, good morn-" Alex's words halted when I fully came into view. His eyebrows pulled closer, "Uh, hold on, why are you holding a cat?" He questioned, utterly confused as he turned his head to Ronald, "Also, that's not Nate's cat, what is happening?"

Ronald smiled, ever so giddily, being as annoying as his sister, "Oh, that's Nikolas's new baby," He informed.

Don't kill him, you need him, don't kill him yet.

I pushed the animal at Ronald, "Take him with you and I will do or give you anything you want."

Ronald's eyes widened and he clutched the animal into his embrace before he falls to the ground, "Uh, wait-" His eyebrow raised, "Anything as in anything?"

I nodded, desperate, "Yes, anything but you need to take him with you when you leave."

Ronald seemed to be contemplating his options, "I mean I do want to watch you struggle as you take care of him but you owing me something...it is really tempting-"

"Ronald, do you want me to paint your face red again?" I took an infuriated step forward, trying to seal the deal before Natalie gets here. Ronald instantly took one backward, "Hey, hey, let me think this one through!" He said, raising one hand in defense, while the other held the cat to his chest and his eyes flickered to Alex, "What do you think I should do?"

Alex looked between us the two of us, dumbfounded, "Hold on, I am still on the fact that Nikolas has a cat-"

"I was drunk," I explained, a low sigh parting my lips.

He seemed to get relieved and he finally breathed out, "Oh, thank god, that explains it," He said, "Phew, for a second I thought I got transferred into some alternative universe."

I turned back to Ronald, my eyebrow raising and he sighed and nodded his head, "Deal," He agreed as he sat down on the chair next to Alex, thinking exactly how he is gonna get back at me due to this and I started to question if this is really the right decision to make. Alex, being him, reached out and took the cat from Ronald, "Aww, but he is so cute," He said, ever so adorably as he patted the cat's head and that little thing made a low purring sound, loving the attention.

Alex placed him on his shoulder, it was so small that it actually fit there. Alex looked at him and chuckled, "If Cara wasn't allergic, I would've taken him, Lilly adores cats," He said and I slumped down on the chair, watching the animal curl up on Alex's shoulder and close his eyes, falling asleep.

On cue, Natalie stepped into the room, her eyes narrowing at me, questioning if I threw the cat out but got relieved when she saw him resting on Alex's shoulder, "Did you feed him?" She asked and I shrugged, "Ask Ronald, it is his cat," I pointed out and her eyebrows pulled closer before she looked at her brother. He nodded his head, ever so casually, "Yes, yesterday we both agreed that I take him home with me."

Natalie rolled her eyes at him, "No, you didn't, I am not stupid," She said, "I don't know how he bribed you into this but...Nachos isn't going anywhere," She said the last part as she looked at me, purposely triggering me, "You aren't getting out of this one easily."

Huffing out loudly, I crashed my back into the chair, feeling drained and the day hasn't even started yet. Alex beside me chuckled again, enjoying me being miserable. I looked at him, "This is all your fault."

"What the hell did I do?" He shot out, offended.

"Go see a therapist you said, well, now I have a cat, are you happy?"

He chuckled and nodded his head, "You have no idea, this is priceless."

He took the cat from over his shoulder and placed it on my lap, "Now, go and feed your baby."

The little ugly thing looked up at me with its tiny eyes, acting all innocent and I shot him a glare. I could still feel Natalie's eyes on me and I knew I can't escape this. I huffed out as I wrapped one hand over the animal and picked him up as I headed to the room where Natalie usually leaves food for that other stupid cat.

"Don't hold him like that," I could hear Natalie scold from behind me, which I chose to ignore.

I dropped the thing beside the food bowl and he immediately buried his head inside and started to loudly munch on the food. The pitter-patter sound nearing us made me turn my head to the right, watching as Natalie's ugly cat stepped closer to us, her head moving left and right, her pink nose wiggling as she tried to sniff the new intruder that was eating her food.

She paused by his side and inched her nose closer to his body, sniffing him thoroughly from head to toe. The sound she made at the end was more like a growl, not very satisfied to share her space or her food. I lowered my head closer to her, "If you do eat him, I might actually start loving you," I whispered to her, and almost on cue, she raised her paw and slammed it against the orangy cat's head, pushing him away from her food.

I smiled while Natalie gasped, "Massie, no!" She scolded as she picked her up and took her away from us, "He is a baby, you can't do that," She added and the cat meowed, a very annoyed sound left her and she tried to fight her way out of Nate's embrace. Natalie dropped her into one of the rooms and closed the door, grounding her for misbehaving.

I looked back at the little one as he resumed eating ever so casually as if he didn't just get beaten by a girl. I rolled my eyes at him and got up to my feet, leaving him alone and moving back to the kitchen. I poured myself a cup of coffee and sat back beside Alex and Ronald, who both looked at me with an expression I wanted to punch off. I shot them both a glare and Alex's smile spread wide, "It's so heartwarming to see you become a father," He commented ever so sarcastically as he took another bite of his apple and I wanted to smash that fruit over his thickhead.

Natalie joined us in the kitchen, she moved around before she settled behind me and I felt her hands gently rest over my shoulders. I turned my head and lifted it up to look at her. She offered me a small smile, her lips gently tilting upwards. She placed the previous events aside and I tried to relax as well. I leaned backward, the back of my head resting against her stomach and I brought my hand up, my fingers gently ran over her hand.

She brought her arms around and wrapped them around my neck before her chin rested over the top of my head and I felt her drop a soft kiss over the side of my head. Her tender touch allowed me to breathe in and out the normal way again.

Alex was still munching on his apple while typing something on his phone. Ronald on the other hand, his expression fell down at our little affectionate moment and he rolled his eyes, leaning back into his seat and grumbling something under his breath as if anyone cares for him or his opinions.

"Oh, you guys," Natalie said, the bit of excitement in her tone grabbing both their attention to her, "I forgot to tell you something," She added and I brought the coffee cup to my lips, taking my first sip, "Nikolas proposed to me last night."

The coffee went through the wrong pipe and I coughed, my eyes widening at her words as I moved my body away from her touch. Alex started choking on his apple and Ronald paled, too pale, he looked like he is about to pass out, "What?" He whispered, "No, no, come on, no."

Alex coughed before he rubbed a hand over his throat, trying to recover. His shocked eyes settled on me, "Wha...How could you do that? Without taking my blessings first?"

My jaw ticked and I covered my face with both hands, remembering that exact moment from last night. I am never ever drinking again, let this be a lesson. I groaned into my hands and Natalie chuckled as she took a seat beside me, "Oh yeah, he asked me to marry him after one year," She added and I rested my elbows over the table, my hands covering my face, "Why one year, I have no clue, but yeah," She added.

"Oh, come on," Ronald said, whining again, "No, but literally I can feel the tears in my eyes," He added and Alex said, "Those are happy tears."

"No, they're not!" Ronald shot out, believing this crazy girl.

I lifted my head from my hands and turned to her, glaring, "You are mean," I said for the way she has been teasing me since I opened my eyes. 

Her smile was all mischievous and her eyebrow raised, "Hey, you can't say that about your future wife!"

Patience, god, patience...

"I am still salty that you didn't tell me first," Alex added, pouting and I really felt no guilt or remorse for punching him yesterday. He totally deserved it.

"Anyways, I need to get to work," He added as he pulled himself up, tucking the phone into his pocket and focusing his attention on me, "I just dropped by to check up on you," He added, his eyes narrowing at me, "No more seeing the ghost of my fathers past I hope," He said and Ronald chuckled as he got up to his feet as well, "Nice reference," He said to Alex, tapping him on the back and Alex gave him a wink and I had no clue what they're talking about.

I shook my head, answering his question, "Okay, great," He said, his eyes drifting to Natalie beside me and he gave her a small nod to which she returned, a bit of tense atmosphere surrounding them both and I took a note in my head to question the reason of it later.

"I've got to go too," Ronald announced.

"No one cares," I mumbled.

He gave me a wink, "I know you do," He said, tapping his hand over my shoulder as he passed by and headed with Alex outside.

Natalie's eyes flickered from their retreating backs and to me. Her gaze softly caressed my face and she inched closer, kicking all the teasing away and focusing only on me. She brought her hand to my face, resting it over my cheek, her fingers gently fluttering there and she whispered, "How are you feeling?"

She addressed all that was yesterday and I let out a low sigh, nodding my head, "A bit better," I said as I leaned further into her delicate touch. She ran her fingers over the side of my hair, brushing away any strand that stood out of place before she edged even closer and dropped a soft kiss on my cheek, "I wish I can stay with you today but I have to go to work," She said, "It's my last two weeks in there so I have to finish up as much as I can."

"I am still waiting on your job offer, by the way," She added playfully with a raised eyebrow, earning a small smile from me, "Don't worry, it's in the works."

She nodded, "I knew you wouldn't leave your future wife to starve to death," She added and my smile dropped. She chuckled and with her hand tried to smooth the annoyed lines etching between my eyebrows, "After work, I am gonna drop by the hospital to check on Dad," She added, "And later at night, I promised Sarah to babysit the kids, she and her husband are going outside."

I nodded my head, "You know, I can accompany you to all of that," I suggested and she shook her head with a smile, "Don't be a clingy boyfriend, it doesn't suit you," She commented playfully and I shot her a glare.

"Also, you have that big guy watching me whenever you are not around, Gregory is his name I guess-"

"He is not watching, he is there to protect you in case something happens," I said, seriously. Joseph is too quiet for my taste, I need to always be prepared.

She shook her head, her hair flying around her face, "Don't worry, nothing will happen."

The subject at hand had my gaze involuntary flicker to her neck, my jaw tightened and I brought my hand forward, my fingers gently running over the faded red lines, "I am so sorry, Natalie," I whispered.

She brought her hand up and it rested over mine, "It's not your fault," she still defended me for some reason and I shook my head, "It is, drugged or not...god Natalie, you are like the only person in this world that I don't want to ever hurt in any way," I said and she nodded her head with a soft smile, "I know that," She whispered.

"I can only imagine the things you had to go through yesterday," She added, the sadness quenching her eyebrows and stealing the smile away from her, "So, let's just put this behind us, okay?"

Her big beautiful eyes, the ones that believed in me still for some fucked up reason, stared back at mine, demanding we push the subject further away and I nodded my head, agreeing to her wishes, "Okay."

Drawing closer, I cradled her delicate face in my hands. With the softest touch, I brushed away a lock of hair, revealing the vulnerable curve of her neck. In a gesture of contrition and warmth, I pressed my lips against that tender red spot, as gentle as a butterfly's caress, seeking to heal the wounds of the past and convey the light in her that had triumphed over the darkness in me.

"Hmm, if you're going to keep doing that," she said, her voice teasingly soft as she tilted her head to the side, granting me better access. Without hesitation, I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her into my embrace. "I might end up being late to work," she playfully warned.

"It'll be worth it, I promise," I mumbled, my lips brushing against her ear as I sought the sweet taste of her mouth. In that stolen moment, time seemed to slow, and the world around us faded into the background. All that mattered was the intoxicating connection between us.

We both knew that the road ahead might not always be smooth, it hasn't been at all, but we have to weather this storm together, I need her strength to help me fight till the end of this line.

As the world outside continued its symphony, we remained lost in our own melody, savoring the sweetness of this moment of connection and renewal. And in the embrace of each other, I knew that I have found my sanctuary, a place where we could always return to, no matter how turbulent life's journey might become.

Maybe I was drunk when I said it last night, but there was no doubt in my heart that I wanted to spend every lasting moment of this life with this woman only.

*****************

The night before...

Roman's POV

"So, Emma stabbed you," Liam said, the only conclusion he came up with after all that I had explained since I dropped by his house an hour ago. It's just I didn't know where else to go.

I was laying down on his couch, feeling way too drained as I went on explaining my distress, hoping he'd give me some advice or something, but no, he chose my moment of weakness to mock me and my pain.

"Didn't she shoot you in the leg that one time, too?" He questioned, his words followed by a chuckle as he leaned back in his seat, "Man, I wish your father was alive to witness all of this."

I lifted my head up from the cushion and shot him a glare, "Way to be supportive," I grumbled before I crashed my head back, throwing a hand over my face and planning to probably stay the night here till Liam interrupted my thoughts, "So, when exactly do you plan on leaving?"

The hell-

I pulled my upper body up and sat down, staring at him in disbelief, "Didn't you tell me your house is always open for me?"

He nodded his head before his gaze drifted down to his watch, "Yeah, sure, but I have a date in a bit and I need you to disappear."

My eyebrows pulled closer, "A date?" I questioned, not sure I'd heard him right, "Dude, aren't you too old for dates?"

His eyes shot up to me, his gaze hardening slightly, "Roman, do you want me to stab you in your other side?" He threatened, a bit too seriously.

I gulped and shook my head, "So, uh, who is she?" I asked, curious and his glare asked me to stick to my messy romantic life and stay out of his. I smiled, my eyebrow raising, "It's Linda, isn't it?" I asked, "Alex said you two are hanging together more frequently these days."

He rolled his eyes, "Alex likes to push his nose in what doesn't concern him," He mumbled, "So, anyways, when are you leaving?"

I huffed out in annoyance, "God, okay," I grumbled out, unable to bear his poor hosting skills, "Can't believe my father assigned you to look after me," I mumbled, hitting him in his weak spots, "You are the worst godfather," I added, getting up to leave and he couldn't seem less bothered.

He rushed a hand over his face in exasperation, his frustration evident, "I am just so over you kids and your silly problems," he exclaimed, his voice tinged with irritation. Rising to his feet, he continued, "From what I heard, it seems that your wife now needs you more than ever, yet you are here disturbing my night instead."

He had always been brutally honest, which was why I secretly admired him, though I would never admit it to his face. "You knew from the start that Emma is...well, Emma," he asserted, emphasizing her name as if it held the answer to all the complexities of her character. "She comes with a baggage, and let's be honest, so do you," he added, his gaze unwavering.

"We all have our own baggage, Roman," he continued, his tone softening slightly. "And if you really love her, it means you're going to have to accept all of her sides and all the messiness and craziness she will bring along into your life," His words lingered in the air, a poignant reminder of the truth that echoed inside my head.

In his blunt words, he had spoken a truth I needed to hear, a truth that I knew I had to confront if I wanted to continue this.

He placed his hand on my shoulder, offering a small squeeze, "Look Roman, love isn't going to be rainbows and happy moments all the time; sometimes, it is definitely not smooth sailing. It becomes like a stormy sea with unpredictable waves, but it's in those turbulent waters where the strength of your love will be tested and proven."

"So, be patient," He advised, "And remember that communication is key. Don't be afraid to share your fears with her, to address the issue at hand instead of running away like a fool," His eyebrow raised, addressing what I did, "Things will get tough, always, and when they do, don't shut her out. Instead, be by her side, hold her close, and get through this storm together," He added, "Love is not about finding someone perfect, Roman, but about embracing all of those imperfections and growing together."

I nodded my head, taking into every word, the weight of them settling upon my shoulders and I let out a low understanding sigh. I offered him an appreciative smile, "Thanks," I said, "You are not that terrible of a godfather after all."

He shot me a glare, his hand wrapping over my arm and pushing me forward as he opened the door, physically kicking me out, "Now leave," He added, having enough of me.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Linda is so lucky," I added sarcastically to which he answered by shutting the door in my face.

I decided to ignore that and focused on his previous true words as I got into my car and drove back home. It was quite late when I arrived but I paused by the door before unlocking it, something told me that she is inside, awake and waiting for me to get back. I sucked in a deep breath before I unlocked the door and stepped inside, making sure not to make too much noise.

My steps paused when my eyes fell on her, sitting on the couch, across from the TV that played some kind of cartoon, and Noah was fast asleep on the couch, his head resting over her lap. The sound of the door and my steps had her eyes shot from the TV's screen and to me. They widened as she grasped my presence and carefully, she tried to lift Noah's head and let it rest over the cushion before she rushed forward, pausing when she was one breath away from me.

"Where were you?" She asked, her eyes flickering all over my face, "Are you okay?" She questioned, stressed lines etching her forehead, "I was so worried, did you get your wound checked out?" She asked, her hands reaching for my shirt and moving it to the side to observe it herself. Sadness swirled in her gaze, a bit of weakness flickered there as she ran her fingers over the bandage and she choked on the rest of her words, unable to say more.

I brought my hand toward hers, and I wrapped it in mine, "It was just a graze, nothing too big," I assured her but my words didn't erase the sadness and the worry that etched every corner of her face. God, is it normal to prefer her knives and threats over this weak look in her eyes?

My gaze went back to Noah and I changed the subject on purpose, "Is he okay?"

She followed my gaze and nodded her head, "Yeah, uh," She started to say, "I was waiting for you to come back and he said he will wait with me so I won't sit alone," A faint smile painted her lips, "But he fell asleep right away."

Her words had the corner of my lips lift up. He was such an adorable innocent kid, who definitely didn't deserve what was coming his way. "Let me put him in his bed," I offered, taking a step towards the couch where the child slumbered peacefully.

However, Emma stopped me with a gentle touch on my arm, her concern for my well-being evident in her eyes. "No, no, I will do it," she insisted, her voice unwavering, "You are hurt."

I tried to protest, shaking my head, "Emma, I am okay, it's nothing—"

But she wouldn't hear any of it, leaving me no space to argue. "No, I will do it," she said firmly, moving ahead of me with a delicate determination. She leaned down, carefully cradling the sleeping child into her embrace.

"Just open the door for me," She requested softly, her gaze never leaving the child's peaceful face. I obliged, walking ahead and opening the door to the room where he had been staying.

Emma walked on careful steps, her eyes attentive to both the child and the path ahead. She seemed scared she might trip and let him fall, as if he were a fragile glass about to break any second. With utmost gentleness, she lowered him onto the bed, making sure his head rested comfortably over the pillow.

I sat by his side, pulling the comforter over his body and tucking it below his neck. My eyes went to Emma as she too watched him sleep, a bit of concern enveloped her features and she lifted her head up to me, "He asked about his mother today, I didn't know what to say," She mumbled, "Were you able to find anything?"

I nodded my head, "Yeah," I was going to tell her all about it earlier but I got stabbed so...

I let out a low sigh, my emotions swirling within me like a storm, "I was finally able to reach her on the phone," I began, my jaw tightening as I recalled the conversation. My hand found its way to the child's hair, my touch gentle as I brushed it away from his forehead, trying to offer comfort in the midst of turmoil.

"She doesn't want anything to do with him," I continued, my voice laden with sadness, "She said that she can't do it anymore, and it's better if she was away from him; she said it's the better option for him and his well-being."

Emma's gaze hardened, her anger barely contained as she struggled to maintain her composure. "God, that bitch," She seethed, "Did you at least tell her that Laurens is dead?"

I nodded my head, the weight of the conversation heavy on my shoulders. "Yeah, but it didn't change her mind," I added, my voice tinged with frustration, "She said she has been through a lot and she is not in the right state of mind to take care of a child."

"Bullshit," Emma grated out, her anger palpable, "I can't believe this. I got kidnapped and beaten for her, and she just abandons her own son? I should've just left her to die on his hands- unbelievable-"

Her words resonated with my own feelings of anger and disappointment. The situation was incredibly difficult, and I couldn't help but feel a mix of heartbreak and frustration at the woman's decision to walk away from her child.

Emma's gaze fell down on Noah, "Does he have any other relatives?" She asked, worried about the uncertain future awaiting him.

"Well, we killed his father and grandfather-" I mumbled, knowing my next words will infuriate Emma more, "His...his aunt is alive."

Her eyes shot up to me, "Lauren's sister, no thanks," She said in defense, "I am not giving him to that ex of yours," She grated out and I tried to reason with her, "But, she really cares about him, I recall-"

"Don't recall anything and don't continue that sentence unless you want me to give you another wound to cry about!" Her interruption was forceful, leaving me with no choice but to fall silent, aware that pressing further would only add fuel to the fire.

"Unbelievable," She hissed under her breath. She swiftly rose to her feet and exited the room, likely to prevent any more chaos that might disturb the child's sleep. I gave him one full look before I got up as well, turned off the lights and left the door ajar in case he woke up through the night.

I headed to our bedroom where I saw her angrily storm into and drop over the bed's edge, all frustrated and infuriated. I let out a low sigh and sat by her side, "Tell me, Emma, why is loving you so damn hard, and hating you is hard," I mumbled, "Being with you is hard, and being away from you is even harder," My eyes went to her, "Tell me, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"If you are so done with me, I had given you a way out, so why don't you take it?" She pulled up her walls, high and above to protect herself from anything that could come out of my mouth, as if I was gonna hurt her in any way.

"I can never be done with you," I stated the obvious.

She turned her head away from me, focusing her gaze on anything but me. Her fingers tightened over the mattress's edge, grasping into it tightly to keep herself intact. I edged closer and she scooted away, like a little kid. I chuckled and wrapped my arm around her waist, forcefully pulling her closer to my side.

She tensed slightly before he body relaxed in my embrace. She tipped her head up, her eyes a mix of trauma and pain and everything she never lets herself deal with and I wished she'd know, how I wanted to destroy everything that ever caused her any harm, "You know that I didn't mean to hurt you," She said and I nodded my head, "But if you want to hurt me back for it, go ahead, I won't stop you."

I smiled at her crazy self and thoughts; her own way of saying sorry. I brought my hand to her face, brushing my fingers over her cheek, "You really think I would hurt you?"

"You walked away, that hurt me," She said, her eyebrows pulling closer, unable to understand her own feelings.

"I walked away because I didn't know if I can keep living with this feeling," I admitted.

"What feeling?" She whispered, scared of the answer.

"The one where I am gonna keep witnessing you get hurt and not be able to do anything about it because you won't just let me," I said and her gaze fell down, knowing exactly what I am talking about.

"Tell me, Emma, talk to me," I urged her, hoping she'd let me in, that she'd lean on me. She doesn't know that she'd feel much better if she would, "Tell me why you acted the way you did when you saw Matilde, tell me what did she do to you, tell me what happened to you in that place."

She shook her head, "I don't want to," She said, "Talking about it will make me feel weak again, and I promised I'd never allow myself to feel that weakness ever again."

"You know, that sometimes it is okay to feel weak," I explained, shaking my head, "And god Emma, you are anything but that, you are the strongest person I know, and if you just talk about it, you will allow yourself to face that weakness you once felt and after that, it will disappear once and for all."

She seemed to be contemplating my words, wrestling with the idea of letting her guard down and opening up. I could see the turmoil in her eyes as she hesitated. To help her ease into it, I offered a suggestion, "How about we do this," I said, trying to create a safe space for her vulnerability, "I tell you something of mine, and you tell one of yours."

Her tension seemed to slightly ease at the proposal, and she nodded her head, her voice soft as she whispered, "Okay."

Gently, I reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear, trying to offer a comforting touch. My eyes didn't meet hers, finding solace in the vulnerability of the moment. "When I talked with Noah's mother," I began, my voice hushed, "the way she refused to come back for him," I continued, sharing something I had kept hidden within myself for so long, "It made me, if just for a second only, it made me hate my own mother. It made me angry at her, and it made me want to go and just scream, to ask how she was able to do the same to me."

I shook my head, "I knew she had her reasons and that the situation was different but at that moment, I didn't see reason and I felt so much anger and hate for her for the first time."

Emma's eyes flickered over my face with fierce protectiveness, her gaze like a shield ready to defend me from any harm. If I'd let her, I knew she'd go straight to my mother and demand an answer from her, unyielding in her determination to protect me. "Told you I never liked that woman," She grumbled out, her voice laced with both concern and annoyance.

I couldn't help but smile at my little protector, "Now, it's your turn."

She nodded her head, ready to share similar moments of weakness we'd never let outside these four walls, "When you finish your first level of training at the HEX, you are supposed to make your first kill," She explained, her jaw tight, "They usually cover the victim's face because it should never matter who you are killing, any age, gender, race or anything should stop you. It was an unsettling rite of passage that marked your transition," She scoffed at their rules and politics.

"There was a guy in there, his name was...Enzo and he was my first and only friend," She carried on, looking down at her hands as she played with them to distract herself from the bitter past, "He helped me in there always and Matilde noticed that, so, in order to take her revenge on me, she made him my first victim, they covered his face...I didn't know," Her throat bobbed, her tone shifting, more choked now, "I didn't know, and I...I killed him," She lifted her eyes up to meet mine, trying to read the look in them, thinking that these facts will repulse me somehow, god, this crazy girl will ruin me one day.

"Till this day, I wake up in the middle of the night from that same nightmare where I watch myself kill him over and over again," Tears filled her eyes but they never made it to the threshold. She sucked into a stuttered breath, "Matilde...she is the one who made me into what I am, but god, I hate her, I hate her so much."

I nodded, my hand reaching for hers, gently stopping her fidgeting, "I kind of sensed that," I began, my voice steady, "Which is why I didn't listen to Nikolas. He wanted to let her go, but I didn't care for whatever plan he had in mind. I had my very own plan, so I locked her away."

Emma's eyes widened at the revelation, absorbing the weight of my decision. "So, are you ready to go and take from her all that she took from you?" I said firmly. My determination was resolute; I meant every word. I was prepared to destroy everything that had ever caused her harm, eliminating her monsters one by one.

At first, disbelief flashed across her face, but it soon gave way to something deeper. "You idiot," she mumbled, and I couldn't help but smile at her own familiar love language.

She leaned forward, her hands reaching for my face with a tenderness that made my heart ache. "Roman...I never thought I'd need a man in my life," She admitted, her voice vulnerable and raw, "But god, I need you. I need you, so please, don't walk out on me like that again."

My heart swelled with love for her as I shook my head, taking her hand from over my face. I drew it closer, dropping a tender kiss into the palm of her hand. "I need you too," I whispered, my voice laced with sincerity.

"I won't walk away, Emma," I said, recalling back a previous similar promise, "It's us against the world."

She smiled, so tenderly as she recited the same promise, "Us against the world."

****************

Nikolas's POV

"So, I was able to deactivate it and delete everything," Jeremy said, addressing my lost phone, which I still haven't found anywhere, "But for some reason, I am still unable to locate it," He added with an annoyed sigh, questioning himself and his methods.

I shook my head, doubting anyone got their hands on it anyway. I was just so out of it yesterday, I probably dropped it somewhere. Jermey handed me my new phone and I looked through it, "I uploaded everything you might need," He said, "And I uploaded a much better security system this time, if anyone ever gets their hands on this one, they won't be able to access anything."

I nodded, "Thank you."

Jeremy gave me a wary look, standing still across from my desk and I sighed, "What?"

His eyebrows pulled closer, "You don't usually thank me," He mumbled, his eyes narrowing slightly at me, "It's weird, I don't like it."

I rolled my eyes and shot out in an authoritative voice, "Get back to work."

He sighed in relief, "Now, that's more like it."

"Also, get me some water," I ordered, my eyes on the damn plant sitting on my desk.

Jeremy gave me a salute, "On it, sir."

Watering fucking plants and taking care of two damn cats at my house...when did this become my life?

If Isaac could see this, he would have a blast...

I tried to collect my thoughts and finish up a few tasks before deciding to check on Nathan. As I opened the apartment's door, an unsettling feeling washed over me, sensing that something was out of the ordinary.

My men, usually composed and steadfast, shot up to their feet as I entered, their fear and distress palpable. Their twitching hands and anxious body language immediately sent a surge of rage through me. I stepped closer to them, my anger simmering beneath the surface.

"Welcome, sir," one of them stammered, his throat tight with nerves. I paused, standing just inches away from them, my eyes scanning their faces for any hint of explanation.

"What happened?" I asked calmly at first, trying to control my rising emotions.

The one who spoke earlier looked at his companion, silently asking him to break the news. Both of them remained silent nevertheless, fueling my growing frustration. Unable to contain myself, I burst out, "What the hell happened, I said!"

The other one nervously started to speak, "We...we got a message from you yesterday," he began, but I furrowed my eyebrows, not recalling sending them any message at all. His face tightened, fear of delivering the message evident in his eyes.

"I asked you to what!" I snapped, my patience wearing thin with their hesitation to reveal the truth of what had transpired.

"You asked us to hurt him," he admitted, and my eyes widened at the shocking revelation, "We didn't know what to do, but you were strict in your message, w..we had no choice," he added, but before he could continue, I whirled around, rushing to Nathan's room. Slamming the door open, I stepped inside to witness the aftermath of the mess they had created, a mess I had unknowingly caused.

My chest tightened, and my heart raced as I saw him lying on the bed, unconscious and bruised in ways my mind couldn't comprehend. Without wasting a second, I held him between my arms, my hand cradling his face as I tried to shake him awake. My eyes darted over the dry blood on his forehead, the bruises on his cheek and mouth, and his battered arms and hands. It was all too much to make sense of.

"Nathan," I called, my voice desperate as I shook him again, but he remained unresponsive. Panic and anger surged within me as I turned to the men standing by the door, frozen like fucking idiots, "Call the doctor, now!" I bellowed, my voice echoing in the room. One of them quickly pulled out his phone and rushed out to get help.

"Sir, we didn't know," The other stammered, trying to justify their actions. "You were so clear in your message, we...uh," He rushed a hand over his face, frustrated at the turn of events, "Just a couple of minutes ago, we learned that you lost your phone, we realized-"

"Didn't I fucking say before that if I see one scratch on him, I will kill you all!" I lashed out, my fury, confusion, fear, and distress blending into an overwhelming whirlwind that refused to settle.

"I don't care if the message came from me, you both will pay for this," I grated out, my voice cold and determined.

"The doctor is on his way," the other man announced, trying to make amends.

"Get me the first aid kit, quick," I ordered, and they hurriedly brought it to me, wisely deciding to steer clear of my anger and wrath.

I palmed the kid's cheek, using a bit of alcohol to gently wipe away the dry blood from his many wounds. My heart clenched in anguish, and it felt as if a thousand knives were piercing through my chest. I couldn't bear to see him like this, battered and broken, all because of...

It wasn't me.

Realization hit me, it wasn't me, it could've not been me. Even in my drugged state, I would've never...

I called for them and one of them rushed into the room quickly, "What time was it sent?" I asked in a hurry, "The message, show me!"

He stumbled forward as he pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and showed me. I started at the screen in bafflement; the message was sent at night, sometime after I woke up from when Alex knocked me down. It wasn't me. It's whoever stole my fucking phone. I thought it'd be Isaac but...he wouldn't do this.

So, who the hell wanted to hurt Nathan, and why?

Right then, Nathan stirred in my embrace slightly, grabbing my attention back to him only. A low sound of pain vibrated from his chest and his face twitched before he tried to blink his eyes open. I pulled him closer into my embrace, "Hey, hey, Nathan, can you hear me," I said, palming his cheek and grabbing his attention only to me.

His eyes got filled with tears and he whispered, his voice hoarse and raw, "Everywhere hurts."

His little words broke my heart into a million pieces and I nodded, edging my head closer to him, "It's gonna be okay, you are gonna be okay, I promise," I tried to assure him, "The doctor is on his way."

He nodded his head, a few tears flew down his cheeks and he brought his hand to my shirt, wrapping his fingers over it, clutching into me and trying to bury himself deeper into my embrace, "Don't go," He whispered, "I don't want you to go," His tears soaked through my shirt and he added weakly, "They hurt me when you go, please don't go."

I pulled him closer, tightening my hold over him ever so protectively, "I won't," I said before I dropped a reassuring kiss over his head, "I promise, I am not going anywhere."

**********************************

So, who hurt Nathan and why? xD
If you can figure it out, I will give you the biggest spoiler and the ending of this book xD

Hope you liked the chapter!

More drama coming soon and we are so close to the last battle ;)

See ya !