This is a fluffy chapter, consider it a belated valentine's gift. Anyways, drama will hit soon after, don't worry xD

Also there is a small mature content within the chapter, so, kids close your eyes! xD

Happy reading!

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"The world doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?"

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Nikolas's POV

It's just one of those days.

The very rare ones, where I wake up peacefully, with no darkness or nightmares clinging to the edges of my consciousness. My mind was calm, my memories soundless, and my heart steady.

I breathed into the delicate scent surrounding me, my lips tilting up just slightly at the feel of her body, all plastered up against my own. My eyelids glided open, blinking away sleep before they drifted down to the woman wrapped in between my arms.

Uncontrolled, my heart hammered, my pulse raced, and a thunder of emotions pounded through my veins the longer I gazed at her. Her hair was a blonde mess all over my arm. Her face buried deep into the bare skin of my chest. Her arm was lazily thrown around my waist, clinging to me even in her deep sleep. My shirt covered her upper body as she sank into my hold, fitting inside it in a way only she can.

My palm stroked down her back, and I edged my head down, pressing my lips and kissing the top of her head. My little gesture had her humming and she stirred slightly, inching and burying herself closer to me. A low breath parted her lips and I watched as she blinked her eyes open, dragging herself out of dreamland. Her chest moved and she blinked her eyes again before her lips tilted into a small smile and her gaze flickered up from my chest and met my eyes.

I smiled, "Hey."

Her blue eyes were hazy still, her sinful lips all pink and swollen. Her cheeks got all flushed, the color rushing back to her face and she mumbled back lowly, "Hey."

With my palm over her lower back, I pulled her even closer, needing every inch of her pressed into mine. She untangled the arm that was around my waist and brought it up, resting it over the side of my neck, smiling shyly as she asked, "What are your plans for today?"

"I plan to cancel all of your plans so we can stay in here all day long," I answered and she giggled, her fingers fluttering over the skin of my neck and cheek, "What a coincidence, that was my plan as well," She said.

I involuntarily smiled, it was impossible not to when she was around and in my arms again, "We can start by having breakfast because I am starving-" She started to say and my hand moved further down, grabbing her ass, squeezing at it and pulling her closer, "I know exactly what I am having for breakfast."

Her eyes widened slightly and she playfully slapped my chest, "Shush, I am the blunt one in this relationship!"

I leaned closer and kissed the top of her shoulder, moving closer in and kissing the side of her neck, "Not anymore."

She giggled and squirmed in my hold, a low sound parted her lips when I nibbed at the area right below her ear, "Hmm okay, who needs food anyway-" She mumbled in satisfaction. I edged backward, my hand resting over her cheek, tilting her head to the correct angle and ready to press my lips into the heavens of hers.

But right before I could do that, the doorbell rang.

Natalie groaned, "Please tell me that's not Ronald," She grumbled, "It will only give me more reasons to be angry at him."

I shook my head, "No, I gave him enough work to busy him for four days just so this won't happen."

The bell rang again and Natalie let out a low whiney sound, "Just ignore it, whoever it is will give up and leave soon," I said, ready to carry on but the bell rang again, and again...and again. Seriously?

My jaw ticked and Natalie's eyes met mine, the insistence of the person made us realize who it was and we both said it together, "It is Alex."

Of course, it is him, who else would want to ruin my happy moments?

I grumbled some profanities as I climbed out of the bed and threw some clothes on me while Alex kept ringing the bell. I want to kill him, I swear.

"I will try to get rid of him," I said and Natalie chuckled, "Best of luck," I heard her say as I left the room and headed for the door, rushing a hand over the top of my head. He was still ringing the bell non-stop and I was ready to explode in his face the second I open the door but all the words got stuck in my throat when my eyes fell down on no other than Lilly.

She jumped up and down at the sight of me, "Daddy!" She said excitedly, finally removing her hand from over the bell that she was ringing non-stop, proving that she was fully and utterly Alex's daughter.

My sore mood disappeared almost instantly, smiling as she rushed inside and toward me, clinging to my leg. I bent down and picked her up into my arms, kissing her beautiful little face, "Hey you," I said while she wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed my cheek a couple of times. I savored every little moment thinking if there will ever be a day when I won't miss her as much.

My gaze flickered to Alex, who was less-hyperverbal than usual. He rubbed a fist at his eye before he walked inside, "Look, Cara has things to do and I have Lilly for the day and I am so fucking tired," He grumbled, "I haven't slept in four days because of the monsters disguising as my kids," He shot Lilly a glare and she buried her face into the crook of my neck, "So, be a good uncle and look after her as I get some sleep," Then he walked inside, heading for the living room.

I closed the door and turned around, watching as Natalie headed down, curious about what was happening. Thankfully, she had changed from my shirt and wore her pink PJ with teddy bears on it. She paused by the last stair, her hand resting over the rail and her eyes following Alex as he walked further inside, "Hey Alex," She said, all cheerful and smiling.

He grumbled out some gibberish in return, lazily waving his hand before he moved out of her way. He entered the living room and slumped over the couch, throwing his arm over his head and taking his sweet rest.

Natalie's eyebrows pulled closer at his less energetic self, her eyes drifting away from him and to us as I walked closer with Lilly still in my arms. Natalie's eyes lightened up, her smile widening as she looked at the little girl in my arms, "And you must be Lilly," She said, ever so giddily.

Lilly nodded, "Yes," She mumbled then looked back at me, confused, inching her mouth closer to my ear and loudly whispering, "Who is she?"

"This is Natalie," I said with a small smile, my free arm going around her waist and pulling her to me, "She is..." I looked at my beautiful girl as she held my gaze with a dreamy look. Her hair was falling around her face and shoulders, a graceful hot mess like she is. Her face was all pink and relaxed. Her eyes, the prettiest I've seen, looked so happy and delighted. Like me, she was wondering if any of this was real; if last night did happen and we were really back into this messy thing they call a relationship.

My smile softened and my heart was beating way too fast for my liking, "She is my girlfriend."

Lines got etched between Lilly's eyebrows, her eyes flickering all over Natalie before she looked back at me, "What's a girfiend?"

"It means she is his future wife," Alex managed to say, his eyes still closed but his voice loud for Lilly to hear.

His words had Natalie slightly tense in my arms, and the frown on Lilly's face grew, something about the situation not settling well with her. Natalie smiled back at a confused, not-very-happy Lilly, her head tilting as she gazed at her and changed the subject, "You are so cute," she said genuinely but Lillly didn't interact with her as she usually does with every new person she meets.

Natalie inched closer to my side and Lilly tightened her arms around my neck, her eyes glaring at Nate for some reason, "No!" She shot out, her little hand resting on my face, forcefully drifting my gaze away from Natalie.

I looked at her, confused, "What no?"

She inched her mouth to my ear, whispering, "Tell her to go," She said, addressing Natalie.

Natalie chuckled at the unexpected hostility, "Oh wow, I never thought I'd end up competing with a four years old kid," She said, bringing her hand up and adorably pinching Lilly's cheek.

Lilly rubbed at her cheek, still glaring, "Don't touch me," She mumbled, "I don't like you."

My eyebrows pulled closer, not expecting this reaction, "But I like her."

Now, she was glaring at me. She shook her head, "No, you don't!"

Natalie tried to hide her little laugh and Lilly pouted as I stared back at her with a questioning expression, "But why?"

She shook her head, not answering it, her little knowledge of words wasn't sufficient for her to explain this. Her lower lips formed a pout and she crossed her small arms over her chest, looking away from me and not liking the situation one bit.

I brought my hand to her face, resting it over her soft cheek and gently stroking it, "Hey," I whispered softly making her face me and needing her smile back, I never liked it when she was sad.

Alex pulled his upper body up, looking at us and glaring, "Will you keep talking?" He grated out, tiredness evident on his face and tone, "I am trying to sleep over here," He added, being a little bitch as always.

I rolled my eyes at him, Lilly still in my arms as I led Natalie away from him, having no energy to deal with a grumpy, sleep-deprived Alex now. We entered the kitchen and I rested Lilly over the counter, her little legs dangling in the air, and the frown still stuck on her face as she gazed at Natalie.

Lines etched between Natalie's eyebrows, frowning back as well, "I am not used to kids not liking me," She mumbled, sadly looking back at Lilly.

I took Lilly's little hand in mine, brushing my thumb over her tiny knuckles, and grabbing her attention to me. She gave me that heartbreaking look, her lower lip curled up and pouting as she asked me, "You love me?"

I nodded my head, "Yes, more than anything," I said back, my answer smoothing the lines over her forehead. She was just not used me to giving attention to anyone but her whenever she was around. So, I brought her hand to my lips and left a little kiss on her knuckles, "You know you are my number one girl," I said with a wink and her lips broke into a big grin, delighted at my words.

"Hey, I am the one who is gonna be sad now!" Natalie mumbled from my side. My gaze flickered to her as she pouted as well and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, me!" Lilly shot back, glaring at Natalie and I got lost between the two of them and who I am going to soothe first. My eyebrow raised, I was starting to get frustrated, "Jesus, am I not allowed to lo..." love two people at the same time? was supposed to be the rest of my question but I stopped myself at the right moment.

Just as the thought passed my head, it had me straighten my body up, taken aback by my own self and thoughts.

Natalie's eyebrows pulled closer, urging me to carry on with my sentence. I tensed up slightly, forcing myself to think of anything but the L-word. For the first time ever, I was glad that Alex interrupted our moment and walked into the kitchen, "Since you people don't plan to shut up," He groaned and slumped over the chair, "Someone make me a coffee," He whined, sleepily looking between us.

Finding this as an opportunity to build distance away from them, I left Lilly and Natalie's side and headed for the coffee machine. Thankfully, the tense moment died fast enough and Natalie inched closer to Lilly, giving her a challenging look, "I am gonna make you love me," She said confidently.

Lilly shook her head, "No."

Natalie smiled, "Yes, you will."

"I said no!" Lilly shot back, being an angry little thing.

Natalie tried to hide her smile, her gaze flickering to Alex, "You have a wild little one over here," She commented and Alex nodded, reaching for an apple from the plate. I really think the only reason I bring apples to the house is him, "Yeah, she is the ultimate troublemaker."

Natalie's smile softened, looking at Lilly and smiling, hoping to win her over.

"By the way, Alex," Natalie added as she looked back at him, pointing ahead at the chair, "You are sitting on Nicky."

Alex's eyes widened, not understanding what she meant and he shot up in his seat, looking down at the stupid unicorn he was squishing beneath him. I leaned against the counter and shot Natalie a glare at the stupid name she decided to stick with. Alex held the stupid toy and looked at the thing with furrowed eyebrows, "Nicky?"

Nate nodded, "Yes, that's his name."

Lilly giggled, pointing her hand at me, "Like you."

"Nothing like me," I grumbled and Natalie nodded her head, "Yes, just like him, right?"

Lilly chuckled, liking that and she nodded her head too. Natalie took the unicorn from Alex and handed it to Lilly, using the stupid thing as her first step to bond with the little girl. I ignored the part where they associated a freaking unicorn with me and poured us a cup of coffee. I took the seat beside Alex and handed him his cup, keeping mine secure in my grip.

He took his first sip and sighed, closing his eyes and throwing his head backward. He groaned as he rubbed at his eyes, making me look at him, "What got you so tired?"

Another loud breath pushed out of his nose, "Max was sick over the past days," My chest involuntarily tightened at his unexpected words and I squeezed the cup in my grip, forcing myself to not ask more as I focused my gaze on Lilly, sitting over the counter and playing with the damned unicorn, "He would stay awake all night, and so would Lilly and...god, if you still love her, I am thinking of putting her for adoption, you can totally have her back," He said the last part way too seriously but my mind was stuck at one part only.

Alex straightened his head and took another sip of his drink, his gaze flickering to me, and instantly reading what I couldn't ask out loud, "He is okay," He added and I breathed again, "It's just the whole teething and whatnot," He answered my silent question and I nodded my head, trying to relieve the stress away.

Lilly's little gasp took my attention back to her, "A kitty!" She said, squealing and her legs kicked out in the air as she pointed at the door's entrance where that stupid animal was standing and watching us.

Natalie looked at her, "You love cats?" She asked and Lilly nodded her head multiple times, "Yes!"

"Come here," Natalie urged, inching closer and taking Lilly into her arms, giddy that she found another way to bond with her. They settled beside the cat on the ground, "She is my cat, her name is Massie," Natalie explained and Lilly giggled when the cat inched closer to her and started sniffing her from all sides. I kept my gaze focused on the animal thing, in case it does anything wrong to Lilly, I'd finally have a good reason to throw it out of the window.

However, the cat was peaceful this time around, she threw herself on the ground, allowing Lilly to run her hand over her fury tummy. Gone all her annoyance toward Natalie, she kept playing with the cat alongside her afterwords, enjoying it way too much, finally giving me a reason to tolerate the animal living in my house.

Alex was observing her as well and when he turned his head back, there was a small smile etched on his face, "I take it back, I can't put her up for adoption, I love her way too much," He said and I smiled back, nodding my head as I observed her some more, lowly mumbling, "Yeah, she is a perfect little thing."

Alex's gaze was back on me, "How have you been?" He asked, considering the last time he saw me, I was slowly losing my mind without the drug.

"Better," I answered, a low breath pushed out of my lungs as I thought of the past two days, "Much better."

"I can see that," He said, a bit of tease in his eyes as they playfully narrowed at me, "I am guessing she finally realized you're Mr. right, huh?" He recalled back his joke from the other day.

I shook my head, smiling as I watched her interact and play with Lilly, "No, I think she just decided she'd rather stick with Mr. wrong despite all," I said with an arched eyebrow and Alex chuckled. Natalie and I both knew by heart I was no Mr. right. Still, I was more than ready to give her the whole world, then burn it to the ground by her feet if anyone dared to breathe her way.

If she wants to, I can take care of the stupid plant, I can buy her stupid unicorns, I can tolerate her stupid cat and I can do everything and anything that goes against me and all that I am used to being. If she sticks by my side, I can try my best to be whatever Mr. right is supposed to be and with time, I could be the man she deserves. I have to be that, because she was mine now and I won't accept it any other way. Mine to take care of, mine to protect, mine to spoil, mine to kiss and mine to love.

She lifted her head up, her exquisite eyes flickering from Lilly, the cat, and falling on me, sensing my gaze caressing her from far away. Blue clashed with green and her lips lifted up into a delicate smile, stealing a smile from me as well. My tensed shoulders relaxed down, and my heart retched higher before it reached a rhythmic pattern.

The longer I gazed at her, the more I realized that the L-word wasn't as scary anymore.

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After we had breakfast, Alex slumped back on the couch, the tiredness taking over and he finally fell asleep. Natalie was talking on the phone with her dad and I walked around the house, looking for Lilly since she suddenly disappeared. I climbed up the stairs and my steps froze when I saw the door to my mother's room open. It was closed, I am sure. I've kept it closed, always. Never did I step inside it, not since the day she was present in it, alive and breathing still.

My jaw worked as I moved forward, pausing by the entrance and my gaze flickered inside. My pulse accelerating, I could feel it pumping hard, the vein in my neck ready to explode from the intensity as my eyes looked around the room, taking into every little detail it encompassed. They first fell on the slipper on the ground, to the clothes neatly placed over the bed, the ones she wore last before we went out for dinner. My eyes moved, falling on the hairbrush over the counter, and the perfume that had its cap opened still, I remember her spraying some before I rushed her out, claiming that we were late for our reservations.

The room looked normal like whoever stayed in it was alive still. It looked ready for its occupant to come back and carry on with life as if nothing happened. My jaw tightened and I pressed my eyes shut, shaking myself back and away from that dark pit because if I get too close, I might lose myself forever this time. I was so out of it at first that I didn't notice Lilly, who was standing by the bedside counter, her hand flipping through the book placed on the surface.

"Lilly, what are you doing?" Though I tried to let my question come out low and soft, it had Lilly jump, gasping and shocked at my sudden presence. She turned around, "It's just me, princess," I urged softly, calming her down, "Come here, let's...let's get out of here," I extended my hand for her, my feet stuck by the door, unable to cross the boundaries yet.

Lilly recovered from her shock, "Daddy," She said softly, pulling the book...no, not any usual book, it was the sketchbook my mother owned, I'd memorized its cover by heart, "Come see this," Lilly urged, innocently smiling as she pressed her palms over the bed's edge and pulled herself up, bringing the book to her lap and gazing at the sketches, one by one.

When I didn't move, Lilly lifted her head up and looked at me, "Daddy," She said again, ruining me with that little simple word. She extended her arm forward, and curled her fingers to the inside of her palm, wanting me to come to her side.

My jaw tightened as I crossed over and took my first step in, forcefully breathing as I slowly made my way to the bed, feeling as if the room would crash over if I was within its four walls. I tried to ignore everything else and focused on Lilly for now. I sat by her side, my arm going around her little body, my chin resting over her head as I watched one of the paintings she was looking at. She brought her little fingers up, running them over the colors and the edges of one specific painting.

It was a sketch of two hands held up, both tied up with big heavy chains, the chains tight enough to scratch the skin; my mother was very talented because she was able to reflect that little small detail over a simple piece of paper. Above the hands, there was a butterfly, big, colorful, free, and flying away from the hands.

My gaze flickered to the lower edge of the paper, where a few words were scribbled. It seemed like she tried to erase them but some words were still engraved, and it didn't look me long to figure out what was written; "I may not be able to escape my chains. I might always remain bound. But at least I can set you free...because when you love someone, you let them go."

I tightened my hold over Lilly, drinking into her presence and scent, desperately trying to escape before my brain pushes me back down that memory lane. I didn't want to remember her broken self, her tears, and her bruises. I didn't want to remember the woman that came out of Isaac's and Frank's abuse. I wanted to keep the image of her smile in my mind, on that day, on that very instance when she rested her hand in my palm.

Those few moments before she died are the ones I want to keep, the ones where we sat, all of us, at one table and had dinner like we were any normal family, it's all she ever wanted and dreamed of. My throat got clogged with all the heavy emotions and I felt like I could unravel at the seams but thankfully Lilly finished her tour of the paintings and closed the book, resting it aside.

She lifted her head up, gazing at me, almost like she could understand how I was teetering on the edge and in need of something to pull me back. She got up to her feet, stood on the bed, leveled herself with me and she wrapped her arms around my neck, "Daddy," She said again, forcing me to push back into the present, "Yes, princess," I said as I wrapped my arm around her tiny body.

She pressed a kiss over my cheek, smiling, "Love you," She said, pulling a smile into my face, "And I love you," I said back, "A whole a lot," I added and her smile widened in satisfaction before she climbed into my lap, settling there. She rubbed a fist into her eye and I rested my hand over her cheek, brushing her skin, "Are you tired?" I asked.

She nodded her head, the area below her eyes turning slightly red, "I'm sleepy," She said, her voice losing bits and bits of its energy.

"Come here," I mumbled as I wrapped her in, her head rested over one arm, her cheek pressing into my chest and she brought her hand to my t-shirt, fisting it into her hold, just like she used to do as a little baby. She snuggled closer to me, "Sing me a song," She mumbled sleepily and rested her eyes, ready to sleep.

It felt near impossible for her to still remember those days, when I used to sing and rock her to sleep almost every night, maybe she did, maybe not, maybe it was just an instinct, but it didn't matter. All that did is that she is here, still looks at me like I am her whole world, and still trusts and loves me.

I couldn't help but wonder; Till when will we be able to pull this off? Till when will she call me dad without questioning it? She might still feel so little and light in my hold, but she is growing up, and one day soon, she will start to understand the absurdity of this situation.

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Natalie's POV

I've been shocked and rendered speechless a couple of times in my life. Like when I learned that Nathan was alive, also when I discovered Isaac's connection to my family; again when I figured out about Max and who he is to Nikolas, and...now.

Why, you might ask...well, Nikolas is signing. Yup, I am not kidding. He is singing a lullaby for Lilly as he rocked her to sleep. His voice was soft and gentle, melodic even. I sound like a chicken crying when I sing and this grumpy man sounds like an angel who dropped from heaven, how is that even fair?

I tried to make no sound, scared that I'd disturb them and that he'd stop. I never wanted him to stop. I stood by the room's entrance, my eyes caressing him from a distance. My heart felt so damn tight every time I watched him play with Lilly since the morning, he looked so in his element whenever around her. Every word, every action, and affection felt so natural coming out of him.

One thing I never expected Nikolas to be good at, was how to deal with kids, but he keeps proving me wrong, over and over again. Was it Chris, Nathan, and now Lilly. He was a natural at it, and that bruised my heart even more as I thought back to our late-night conversation the other day...

I mean, he was born to be a father, look at him...

Who could ever take that right away from him?

A low stuttered breath pushed out of my nose and I listened to him, savoring this moment for as long as I can. His loving eyes were on Lilly, who seemed to be falling deep into her sleep, his voice so low but coherent nevertheless, "Hush little baby, don't you cry, daddy's gonna find you some ice cream to buy, and if the ice cream melts too soon, daddy's gonna go and fetch you the moon," I shouldn't fall in love with this man, I really shouldn't, "But if he ends up flying too far, he will go and grab you a star," I shouldn't want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him, "And when he brings it back to earth, everyone will know how much you're worth."

He ended his song there, watching how Lilly was far off in dreamland by now. He edged closer and left a small kiss over her head before he carefully moved around and tucked her in under the comforter. He brushed her hair away from her face, gazing at her for a long couple of seconds before he turned around, his eyes falling on me.

Involuntarily, I smiled and walked inside, keeping my voice low as I whispered, "Now, you will have to sing to me too or I will be so very jealous," I wrapped my arms around his waist and his lips twitched slightly, "Sorry but that's reserved only for her," He said back, keeping his voice low for Lilly's sake.

I pouted, "Doesn't your girlfriend deserve a song too?"

He leaned down and pressed his lips over mine, "My girlfriend deserves something else," He kissed me like he was savoring me and I melted into him, "Like what?" I mumbled into his lips.

"How about I show you instead," He said, his teeth grazing my lower lip, and I tried my best to suppress my gasp when he suddenly lifted me up like I weighed nothing, like a paper, or a feather. His palms rested under my thighs, hooking them up and I immediately curled my legs around him, my arms tight around his neck as he carried me to his room. A quiver raced through me as he pressed his lips harder against mine, demanding to open up for him.

On instinct, my lips parted, and his tongue delved in, taking full advantage. He kissed me savagely, full of need, and without any restraint, almost like he didn't want to breathe but just to taste me whole. My pulse roared as he dragged his lips from my mouth and kissed a downward trail. He licked his way to the column on my neck, his teeth grazing my sensitive skin and giving me small teasing nips.

I felt my back press against the door to his room and felt him fumble with the lock, my hands going to the hem of his shirt and pulling it off him, our lips connected still, only taking tiny breaks to breathe and to pull stupid clothes and toss them away.

I was acting on impulse, on the heat coiling at the pit of my stomach, and on the insatiable need he had set inside me after last night. I was high on all these heavy emotions that it took me a minute or two to sense that something was...not okay. I slowed my movements, breaking the contact of our lips and edging my head backward. My hand rested at the side of his neck and I looked up at him, "Nikolas," I whispered, the over-analyzer in me winning and taking over, "What's wrong?"

I could feel a negative energy coming off him and from the desperation behind his touch. When I asked the question out loud, a wave of emotions and uncertainty rushed through his eyes, darkening them slightly, "I don't want to think about it," He admitted over a low whisper, "If I do, I might break over and I can't," He shook his head, fighting a battle inside, "I just can't."

I understood. He was in his mother's room out of all. He hasn't been there since her death I suppose. I've watched him since after I settled into this house. I know that he hasn't dealt with her death the right way and I know that for him, the right step now is to keep it aside. He is keeping it hidden under wraps till after he makes sure Isaac is gone; only then he will allow it to eat him alive and break him down.

I nodded my head and inched closer. I started to kiss his lips, ever so slowly, wanting to distract him, "Let me take care of that," I mumbled, my hand moving from over his neck to the back of his head, my fingers tangling with his soft hair. When his hand went to the back of my neck and pulled me closer to him, I grasped harder on his hair. A low groan rumbled from his chest and into my mouth making my knees almost buckle down but good thing I had him to hold on. My fingers dug into his shoulders while his tightened over the back of my neck.

His livid green eyes settled on mine as we tried to catch back our lost breaths, my chest heaved and so did his, "What do you want me to do?" I asked, my voice hoarse as I figured that I'd do anything he'd ask from me now.

His fingers over my cheek brushed the sensitive skin, "Too many things," He answered, a hint of darkness in his voice, then he shook his head, "But you won't handle what I want, Natalie."

I swallowed hard and pulled on a confident face, "Not to brag or anything, but I am quite good."

His lips twitched, his smile serving its purpose in eluding me of oxygen, "No, not just good. You're perfect," He gazed at me in two very different ways, softly but also carnally, as his fingers carressed my face, "Too perfect that sometimes I wonder if you are even real," I wasn't perfect at all, if only he'd know, "You're my delicate girl, and I am so scared, terrified that somehow I will end up causing you harm," My chest tightened because for some twisted reason, I believed that he wouldn't, he couldn't, "Because when I look at you, Natalie, I feel two very conflicting feelings," He explained, "One, I want to hold you close, shield you from the ugliness of this world and protect you."

"And two?" I asked, my voice low as I got lost in this man again.

His eyebrow raised, his gaze so manly as he added, "And two, I want to bend you over and spank that beautiful ass of yours."

My eyes widened and I squeezed my legs together, "Uhm, I like two, let's start with two."

The corner of his lips pulled up into a small smirk and I could feel all the hotness rush to my face as I envisioned what he said. I cleared my throat, "I recall you saying something about me being on my knees," My eyebrows raised, "We can start with that too, I mean not that I know what I will do after but you will show me or teach me or whatever. You know what, I think my sex life was so boring before, I never tried the things I wanted, and there is a lot I wanted to try, like a lot a lot, hell a lot," Here, I was rambling on again, "But I didn't, and I know I am always blunt and talking about it but really, I don't think the problem was me, maybe the guys I was with or maybe it wasn't their fault actually, I was young also so-"

"Natalie," The dark hint in his tone had me shut up the moment he spoke.

"Uhuh?"

"Stop talking and take off your clothes."

I gulped down and nodded; his wish was my command.

I started to unbutton my teddy-bear PJ shirt, so very not sexy by the way, and just as I was shrugging it off my shoulder, I spoke again, "I think you like to watch me strip, don't you."

His eyebrow raised in amusement and he nodded, leisurely watching every move I made like I was his favorite show, "Can you blame me?"

"So, is this part where I will be on my knees," I was either nervous or just drunk on hormones because I couldn't stop talking, my inner conscious mature me buried herself underground just so she won't hear me spurt out nonsense. Nikolas took a step closer, cornering me but I carried on, "You are gonna have to lead me through it, step by step, you know, so I won't do something wrong and hmfrh..." And he slammed his lips on mine, swallowing the rest of my words and turning my last ones into gibberish.

His fingers grasped into my hair, slightly tugging at it to angle my face the right way as he brutally kissed me this time, "You don't know when to shut up, do you," He said into my mouth, "I really don't," I mumbled back, allowing him to take full control.

Slowly, his other hand coasted down to my hips, tracing my panties before he tugged them down. He looked up at me, icy green eyes burned ever so bright, "I know exactly how to shut you up, then," The calloused tips of his fingers slid along my swollen, slick sex, finally finding my mouth's turn-off switch. My lids fluttered, hands clutching at his shoulders as he smoothly rubbed back and forth. Holy crap...

He toyed with the entrance to my sex, pausing there to push just enough for me to feel it, to want it, to need it, to beg for it, "I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you," He spoke as I lost the ability to make words, "And now that I have you, Natalie, I don't know where to start."

"Nik, I..." My breath caught. And He pushed in long strong fingers, filling me and I wanted to buckle over at the overwhelming sensation.

His smile was sinful and promising, "You what, sweetheart?" He murmured darkly, those talented fingers slowly fucking me, as though he had all the time in the world, as though we had forever.

I threw my head back against the door, my eyes closing as I took the intense pleasure all in. His thumb found my clit and circled it, doing things my body never knew nor experienced before. I whimpered again, falling against him, my arms wrapping around his neck, his fingers scratching at his back.

"Oh, god," left my lips as a plea or a prayer, or whatever. I was flailing within, ready to collapse any second.

"I told you before," He made a low noise, possessive and greedy, his mouth finding my nipple, his fingers masterfully pushing up into me, "I am no god," He added and I was getting so close with every push and pull, and every nib and kiss. His eyes were on mine now, coaxing me along, and drawing my pleasure out. Oh, this man, he was the devil, disguised and dressed in a suit; sent to destroy me, there is no other explanation...

I was getting up high that hill with every push of his fingers, with every rub his thumb teased at my clit. Then, the slight curl of his fingers hit a spot, and that was it. I collapsed down and came in waves, shaking with it, heat swamping me and I couldn't control whatever sound rushed out of my throat but Nikolas swallowed it all down when he harshly pressed his lips into mine, reminding me there was a kid in the house that I didn't need to force awake with my scream.

My heartbeats were still so high like I was running a marathon, "That was..." I was searching for a suitable word, a synonym of perfect, amazing, mindblowing, but Nikolas spoke for me, "Just the beginning."

"Huh?" I said, astonished and he couldn't help his smile, like I was an adorable thing he wanted to eat alive. He leaned and pecked my lips ever so sweetly, his next words the opposite of sweet, "Natalie, you are not leaving this room not till you've come on my fingers, my mouth and my cock, you get that?"

My throat bobbed and I squeezed my legs, feeling the wetness slick my inner thighs, "Your...mouth?"

His low chuckle was throaty and it made me tremble in anticipation, "Yes, Natalie," He left a kiss on my chin, "That's the part where I am the one on my knees," He added, recalling my previous words, his voice either low or my mind had short-circuited, "Now, be a good girl and open those legs for me," He said as he nudged them apart before he slid to the floor, his wide shoulders edging between my legs.

"Nik, I never..." Holy hell. I am gonna faint...

He palmed my thighs in his big hands to hold me steady, "I know, relax," He urged, looking at me, making eye contact to help me relax, "I've got you," He murmured before he softly left a kiss at the inner of my thigh and I shivered, anticipating what's to come next.

He looked at me, at me me, and I thought I was going to feel self-conscious, and exposed, but all I could focus on was this man, my man. He was my man, right? I wanted to tell him everything going on in my mind and heart, I wanted to ask him many things, I wanted to let go of every doubt, every hesitation and I wanted him to be my man, mine only.

"Natalie, you are gonna destroy me, aren't you," He rasped and with an impatient grunt, he leaned in and kissed my throbbing clit. Kissed it like he kissed my mouth, slow and gentle at first then greedy and deep, licking and sucking, nibbling with his firm lips.

I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't...I cried out again, my knees so weak he had to hold me up. He ate me like a dessert and I buried the back of my head into the wooden door, my fingers curling and wrapping over his hair, needing to hold into something before I turn into a gooey mess on the floor. He thrust his tongue inside me and I couldn't take it. It was too much...

Euphoria ate at my limbs and nerves, the tension building up had me arching my back, my toes curling, and my fingers tightening and pulling at his hair, gone all the gentleness in my touch, I was aching and this was my release. The clenching feeling down there was like no other and Nikolas was doing right by his words, he was eating me alive, he was transferring me to a land I'd never stepped on before.

Utter joy and pleasure started to build up until I reached the top. Then, came this mind-blowing release of endorphins, the ones tightening and clenching my core. I tried to hold onto the feeling as long as I can but then Nikolas did something with his mouth, and his tongue, it was overwhelming, "Nikolas, oh my..." I said or moaned or screamed or whatever...and I had to let go, crashing from my high into pure blissfulness.

I didn't care for the sounds I made anymore. Alex was far away and downstairs and hopefully, Lilly didn't wake up.

Oh, hell. I crumpled, breathing heavily and Nikolas held me between his arms, his arousal big and hard and heavy and pressing into my stomach. I was already trembling with pleasure, and my mind was numb with the intensity of these feelings but I wanted more. Insatiable, for him, I was utterly insatiable.

"God, Natalie," With a groan that sounded almost pained, he kissed me, "I love the way you taste," He mumbled, using that word so effortlessly, "I love the way you scream my name," He added, his pulse hammering through, I could almost feel it, "I love how your body is responsive to my every touch," He added, and it felt like his next sentence was gonna be I love...you, but before he could mutter it, I pushed myself into his body, my kiss turning urgent and my hand slowly brushing over the hardness straining between us.

He hissed at the way I touched him, and I looked up at him, "I remember there being a third task on your list," I changed the subject, my tone confident and my eyebrow raised in challenge.

His lips curled up slightly and he brought his finger to my face, wrapping them over my chin, "You were made only for me, weren't you," He murmured, brushing my lower lip with his thumb, "Because I don't remember how I used to breathe when you weren't around."

His words had my heart trembling in my chest, my lips forming a smile, "You don't need to remember, because I am here," I said, giving him a promise, a promise I should've not pronounced out loud, because maybe...maybe I wouldn't be able to keep it after all.

I didn't leave time for more words, we moved like liquid, kissing, touching, and whispering all types of appropriate and inappropriate words. I grew incandescent with the minute, heat licking through me in waves as I raced another high.

Nikolas fucked me like he did almost everything, with perfect finesse and fierce determination, ruining me, killing then bringing me back to life. Soon we were both panting, moving faster, reaching for that peak yet wanting to prolong it for as long as we can.

One thing I didn't want was to hear those specific words now, not because they scared me, or because I didn't feel them, I just didn't want his confession to be a product of hormones and the high of sexual pleasure. If he's ever going to say those words to me, I want it to be on any other day, a lazy afternoon for example, I want him to blurt it out in the middle of a conversation because he just couldn't hold it in anymore. I want him to mean it; to be sure of it. I want him to love me for me, not for what I could give him, not because I came into his life when he needed someone.

But also, a big part of me wished he wouldn't say those words at all, because heartbreak would follow them, as it is inevitable, and god knows, Nikolas's heart is the only one I don't want to break.

****************

Later that day...

Nikolas's POV

"What do you plan on doing for tomorrow?" Alex asked, taking my attention away from the TV, where the game was playing and I focused on him.

"Tomorrow?"

He nodded, "Fourteenth of February, a cupid with arrow and wings, ya know, the classics," He clarified and I started at him in bafflement.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, "God, sometimes I forget that you are...you," He rushed a hand over his face, "Valentine's day, that's what tomorrow is," He explained, "The day of love or whatever."

My eyebrows pulled closer and I shook my head, "Nothing," I said, "I don't think Natalie celebrates such stupid things."

Alex sighed again, like he was so done with me, "Dude, she is a girl, all girls say they don't but they expect a gift nevertheless," He explained, "Just saying, so you won't end up sleeping on the couch," He scoffed, "Not that you are getting any action anyway-"

My eyebrow raised at his comment. I had hours of action when he was fast asleep.

But still, I sensed a bit of truth in his words. A gift? I probably should buy her one.

What, though?

Before I could ask Alex, Natalie walked into the room, silencing my words. She came to my side and handed me a glass of bourbon, then clicked her rose wine glass with mine, adorably smiling at me before she took her first sip. Alex's eyes narrowed at her, "Why didn't you bring me something too?"

"I only got one for my man," She answered with an arched eyebrow, "Let Ronald bring you."

Oh yeah, Ronald came back around half an hour ago, did I forget to mention that? Because he is pretty forgettable. I better find more work to busy and keep him away from us for the following week or century.

I brought my arm around Natalie's shoulders, pulling her close before I leaned down and pecked her lips, thanking her for the drink. I was addicted to her, there was no escape anymore. She kissed me back, prolonging it slightly which grabbed Alex's unwanted attention.

The sound of his exaggerated gasp had me roll my eyes, bringing my drink up and taking my first sip, I will need it. His suspicious eyes narrowed at us, "No PDA, there is a kid in the house," He warned, as if he had a say in it, "Have control!"

I shrugged, "I am in control, but she can't seem to resist my charm-" The second I finished those words, I got elbowed in the stomach, but her little action caused me no harm. She was adorable at times. Most of the time.

Alex's lips spread into a small smile, his eyes flickering between us before he decided to speak nonsense again, "You two are extra giddy today, something is not alri-" His eyes slightly grew wider and he edged forward, gazing at us more intently, eyes narrowing like he was a detective of some sort, "Hold on, you've got that look, I know that look, I can recognize that look anywhere," His eyebrow raised and he confidently spoke, "You two had sex, didn't you?"

The sound of something hitting the floor averted our attention to the door, where Ronald just happened to enter and drop the popcorn bowl in his hands into the floor, shocked at Alex's words before his eyes found mine and he glared.

The corner of my lip lifted up, wanting to make him more miserable, I looked at Natalie and pecked her cheek. She smiled and leaned into my embrace, sinking into it, and enjoying annoying him as well. Oh man, she can't get any more perfect, can she?

"Popcorn!" Lilly's excited voice had me look in that direction again. She bent down and picked a few from the floor and pushed them into her mouth. She stood straight and looked at Ronald, "Ronnie, look what you did," She said with a dissatisfied tone, pointing at the mess he made before she bent down and took a couple into her palm.

She left the scene of the crime and leisurely walked back to our side, pushing a bunch of popcorn into her mouth. Her eyes met mine and I gave her a wink. She blinked both her eyes back, smiling sheepishly as she climbed over the couch on my other side. She snuggled into my side and pushed one popcorn up toward my mouth.

I shook my head but she insisted, nodding her head and keeping her hand beside my mouth, "Daddy, eat it," She urged and I tensed slightly. I was careful not to let her say that word around Natalie since the morning but now, she just did-

Natalie's eyebrows pulled closer, "She called you dad, didn't she?" She said with a small smile, as if it was funny and adorable and not at all complicated as fuck.

"She calls everyone that," Alex was the one to speak, turning the situation playful as he leaned and grabbed Lilly, snatching her away from my side, making her giggle and her legs kicked out as he settled her over his lap.

"No, she doesn't," it was Ronald who spoke, purposely disagreeing with Alex, he pretended to be busy picking up the mess he caused from over the floor, "She only calls Nikolas that," He pulled himself up, his eyes looking straight at me, taking back his revenge, "God only knows why," He added mockingly with an arched eyebrow and my glare promised him a couple of punches later on. Natalie's brother or not, he ticks me on like no other...

His words had Natalie's expression twist in confusion, finding the situation odd now after she thought of it as adorable and cute seconds ago. I expected her to ask questions, if not right at this moment, probably later on and she has every right to ask. She already knows many things and it's not gonna be long before she connects the dots together, and I don't want her to figure it out on her own. I want to be the one telling her but I don't know from where will I find the courage to do so.

My mood took a south turn but Natalie didn't ask more, she silently sipped on her wine, still leaning into me, and her eyes focused on the TV's screen. Alex's eyes met mine for a long second, indirectly telling me that I have to figure this whole thing out and at the same time assuring me that maybe in the end, everything will still be okay.

"Come on Ronald, the game started," Alex shot out, breaking the tense silence and successfully shifting the subject. Lilly stayed tucked into his lap, holding his phone and playing with it. Ronald came back, settling beside Alex but his eyes were on us again, his jaw tight at the sight of Natalie leaning into me. The dick, he thinks he can interfere in my life, I can't wait for my fist to meet his face.

I ignored him after and tried to focus on the game, tried being the keyword. My gaze flickered to Natalie, intently watching the game. I tightened my hold over her, leaning down to drop a soft kiss on her head. She lifted her gaze up and gave me a smile in return and I tried to think of positive things only. For the time being at least.

**************

When the night hit, Alex left. Lilly and Natalie were on better terms now, thankfully. The little girl kissed her and Natalie couldn't be happier that she won her over, she insisted on Alex to bring her over again. Ronald left as well, I could care less about where, it was better he was out of my sight or things wouldn't be pretty.

Natalie was sitting across the counter's mirror in my room, brushing her hair after her shower before she applied some creams or whatever to her face. I was in my bed, going through my phone, and checking up on everything, considering I was rather occupied for the last two days, but my gaze kept drifting to her with every second. She was the biggest distraction in my life and if I wasn't careful enough, I will get swamped so deep into this, that I will forget the main purpose I am still alive and going on.

When she was done, she turned around, her gaze falling onto me and I smiled, patting the spot beside me, "Come here," I urged and she got closer, climbing into my side. Her hair was wet still, smoothly falling around her beautiful face, and she was wearing one of her satan pink PJs as usual, a short, and a shirt on top. Her and this damned color, a never-ending love story. Still, she could pull it off like no one, she could wear anything or not wear a thing at all for all I care, she was and will be the most beautiful woman I've laid my eyes on. I don't think anyone could ever come close to her.

She had some cream in her hands and she was rubbing it over herself before she removed some with her finger and placed it over my cheek. Then, she rubbed it over my face. I grimaced, "The hell you are doing?"

"Taking care of your skin," She said, ever so casually before she leaned and dropped a kiss over me where she applied the product, "See, now you smell like me."

My eyebrows pulled closer in utter distaste, it smelled like freaking Vanilla or something. The hell...

She chuckled lowly, "And here is the grumpy baby I know and missed," She pointed out at my not-very-happy expression and I rushed a hand over my face. True, she was beautiful and I was head over heels for her but she was annoying as hell.

I felt the damned cat snuggling closer between my feet and I resisted the urge to kick her from over the bed but Natalie was watching and I needed to be on her good side for now. So, I only pulled away from the animal and shot her a glare, to which she couldn't seem less bothered.

"Nikolas," Natalie grabbed my attention, finally done with her creams and shit before she leaned into the pillow. I looked at her, nodding and ushering her to carry on, "I will ask you something but tell me the truth, okay," and her words were enough to have me straighten up.

I nodded my head, my jaw tight and tense, "Sure, ask away."

Her eyes playfully narrowed at me and then she asked the unexpected, "Do you paint?"

"Huh?" I stared back at her in utter bafflement. I expected questions about Alex, Lilly, and maybe even Max but not...this.

"Do you paint? You know, like draw or something, as your mother used to," She asked again, "Be truthful."

I stared at her for a very long second, double confused, "How...how did you know?" I mumbled and her eyes widened, gasping lowly, "So, you do, don't you?" She pushed an accomplished fist into the air, "Damn it, I am a genius, I guessed it all on my own!"

Lines etched between my eyebrows at her excitement and she smiled in return, so giddy that she figured out that little detail about me, "I haven't done it though in a very long time," I clarified and she seemed so interested in the topic, like she found another missing piece to my puzzle.

"When did you paint last?"

"Around three, maybe even four years ago," I mumbled, trying to pinpoint the exact time I stopped. It used to clear my mind and help silence the voices in my head, I stopped when it couldn't anymore.

I tried to get back to it not long ago but it didn't work.

She smiled, "Oh Nicky, who knew you were a softie," She said and I shot her a glare. Annoying as hell, I tell you.

"If you tell anyone-" I started to say, warning and she chuckled, inching closer and pinching my cheek, "You are so adorable, trying to intimidate and threaten me," She said like it was so silly and a low frustrated groan rumbled from my chest as I pulled my face away, letting her drop her hand.

"I am serious," I pointed out and she nodded, smiling still, "Of course, I won't tell anyone, I am just so happy I figured it out."

"Show me something you painted," She requested and I shook my head.

"Please," She added, giving me the damned puppy eyes and I shook my head again.

"Nik, please, please," She added, pouting and acting all adorable and shit and I wanted to kick her out of here.

"No," I grumbled.

"You are so mean," She said, pouting. She crossed her arms over her chest and sank into her pillow, looking away from me and I knew I was gonna cave in the end. Sometimes, I really hate this relationship thing. It keeps making me act out of character and I don't like it.

I nudged her with my elbow and she scooted away. I sighed loudly and looked up at the ceiling, praying for patience even though I knew no one was above listening to my prayers, if so, my life wouldn't be what it is.

"Okay," Was all it took for her to whirl around and look at me, a big smile breaking into her once-sad face, shifting her mood to happy in a mere second.

She clapped her hand, "Ay, I am so happy," She said and looked around the room, waiting for me to pull out a sketchbook or something, not that I kept any in this house anyway.

Air pushed out of my chest and I moved my body, looking up at the painting above my bed, the only one I actually loved and wanted to keep around wherever I went. Natalie followed my gaze, staring up at the painting and her eyes widened, "You drew this?" She asked, astonished, "You told me your mother drew it," She whispered, intently gazing at it this time as if she could figure all of me out throughout this drawing.

"As I said, I didn't want anyone to know," I answered truthfully.

"But the initials at the corner," She pointed at the painting, at where the L.V. letters were positioned at the lower corner.

I nodded my head, "They're the initials of the person in the painting," I explained and Natalie's lips parted, a low oh left her mouth and she gazed more at it, and for some reason, I felt myself explaining, my gaze on the painting as well, "It's a memory, a vague one, but one of the very few good memories that I have of my childhood," I said and could feel Natalie's eyes flickering to me, listening intently as I spoke.

"There was a lake, a bit far from our house back in London," I added, "When I was young, my mother...she used to take me and go there, we'd walk around, maybe have a picnic or something, I don't...remember the details," Lines etched my forehead, it so blurry in my head yet I feel like I remember bits and pieces, it was so weird, which is why I felt the need to extract it on paper, maybe I can clearly see it this way, "All I remember is the image of her sitting by the lake, and she looked happy, and I was happy, I just don't know why, all I remember is the feeling, and this image," I addressed the view the painting reflected, "Her, smiling and laughing...it's so weird because I don't remember what was happening at all, I just remember..."

"Being happy," She said the words when I paused, her voice soft and I looked at her, nodding my head, "Just that feeling, is all I remember, so I drew it, maybe I could see it clearer on paper, maybe I could remember more, I don't know," A low breath left my lungs, "This one in exact," I addressed the painting, "It means a lot to me, for some very unknown reason."

Maybe sometimes it reminds me why I need to keep fighting.

Natalie nodded her head, like she could understand and I could see her psychologist brian working up because she asked, "Who else was there with you?" She whispered her words, "Do you remember?"

I shook my head, "No one," My eyebrows pulled together, "I don't think anyone else was there, I remember just her and me."

Natalie gazed at me more intently, "Think more deeply about it, are you sure it was just the two of you?" She asked, like she could see something I couldn't, "Because I think there was someone else there as well."

I shook my head, no matter how hard I tried to think or remember, I can't figure it out. It was just her and me, I am sure. I would most probably remember if someone else was there. Still, I was so young, maybe I shouldn't trust the memory so much, maybe it was a figment of my imagination only. Maybe it wasn't even real.

"I don't know," I said and Natalie inched closer to me, asking more, "When was this, do you remember?"

"I was so young, maybe three years old, maybe, I am not sure," I answered.

"Was it before, you know...before the bad things started to happen?" She pushed me to think harder and I deduced, "It was before she got pregnant with Alex," Meaning before Frank, "Before my grandfather died," I added, but it wasn't him who was with us there, I am almost too sure.

Natalie nodded, her smile very small and somber, "Yeah, I think it was your father who was with you there, Nikolas," She said her theory, "I think it was one of the very few moments where the three of you were like a family, where he acted like a normal father and a normal husband, which is why the memory is still etched to your mind," She clarified and I asked, "Then, why don't I remember him being there at all?"

"Because the trauma of everything he did after made your mind delete him from that memory. Because your brain couldn't associate a good happy moment with a man like him," She explained, "The human mind is pretty complex, Nikolas," She added, "It could sometimes twist the truth and make us believe in things that aren't there, and other times, it makes us not see what was right there in front of us."

Her words had me get lost between thoughts and memories, trying to analyze and differentiate between what could be real and what was not. I let out a low sigh when even my nerves felt tired of the overthought.

I looked at Natalie and she offered me a small smile. I wanted to change the subject and talk about other things, "You are really good at what you do," I commented with an arched eyebrow.

She shrugged, "Yeah, that's why I am getting kicked out of my job," She added, sarcastically.

"I told you I'll hire you, don't worry," I said, partially serious. If I have to buy the firm she works for, I totally will.

"Oh yeah, true," She said with a low chuckle, leaning into me and I extended my arm, having her rest her head over it, "I am still waiting for your offer," She added, "Maybe I won't like it, you know that I have a high demand in the market," She joked around, "Also, do you offer health insurance? That's quite important for me."

"I own a couple of hospitals, I can easily arrange a health insurance, don't worry," I said, still serious.

She gave me a weirded-out look, "A couple of hospitals?" She asked, thinking I was joking around but when I nodded my head, she seemed more shocked, "Wow, I really scored myself a rich boyfriend without knowing, huh," She said with a raised eyebrow, "I am no gold-digger, I swear, I am not after your money, FYI."

I smiled at her innocent self; was she aware that I would trade all the money in the world for her smile, "I know, you crazy girl," I said, "Still, Natalie, I would give the whole world if you asked." Actually, she didn't even need to ask.

Her smile grew wider and warmer and she shook her head, "I don't want the world," She said, "I just want you."

***************

Emma's POV

That little human keeps looking at me, for some reason.

Does he want something? Is there something he needs? Why does he keep staring at me? Why are kids so weird, Jesus Christ?

Roman knows exactly how to deal with him, he feeds him, he plays with him, and he takes care of him even better than his own father ever did. My idiot husband was a natural. Me, on the other hand, the kid is giving me the creeps because he won't just look away from me. Damn it!

Roman got a call and left half an hour ago, I don't know to where, considering he is not speaking to me after my fight with Nikolas. He is acting like a little bitch and most probably, he missed my knives and how they could crave his skin out. I will remind him soon if he keeps acting so idiotically. Anyway, he left and I had to stay with the small human, Noah was his name, if I am not mistaken.

And we've been having a staring contest ever since.

What does he want? Should I ask him? He looks old enough to speak and explain his needs...

"Emma," He was the first one to break the silence, calling for me. He knows my name, wow.

"Yeah?"

He looked around the house before he looked back at me, "When Roman will be back?" He asked, his voice so soft and child-like, it makes me feel things in my chest and stomach, like maybe I wanna hug him or maybe I wanna throw up, I am not sure...

I gulped down, "I don't know."

His little shoulders fell down at my words and I felt all out of sorts, so I asked, "Do you want anything?"

He looked back at me, all shy and sad and he nodded silently.

"What?"

"I am hungry," He mumbled.

"Uh," I looked around, my gaze drifting to the kitchen, "Uhm, okay," I got up to my feet, "Let's go and see what's in the kitchen," The hell am I supposed to feed him?

He looked excited at the suggestion and he got up to his feet, coming to my side, so damn close, almost sticking to me as I headed for the kitchen, what's his deal?

I tried not to look at him as I went through the fridge, thinking of what I could feed him. I looked into the drawers and felt so damn lost. This is so out of my area of expertise. I don't know how people pretend it is so fucking easy to deal with a human that is this small.

"Sit there," I said, pointing at the chair, "I will get my phone and be back to prepare something, okay?" I added and he nodded his head, doing as I said. At least, he is not a troublemaker.

I walked out of the kitchen and opened my phone, my gaze on the kid as I dialed Nik, I didn't know who else to call, "Hello," Nik answered after a few rings.

"Nik, you like those little humans, right? You seem to understand them better than me," I started to speak, "What do they eat? Can they eat everything or what?"

"What?" Nikolas sounded so confused, "Little humans? What are you talking about?"

I sighed, "Kids, I mean kids, what do they eat?" I asked, "Do they have any special food or can they eat everything like us?"

There was a short pause from his side, "Emma, are you okay?" He asked, he sounded slightly worried.

"Nikolas, stop being a thickhead and answer me!" I hissed at him, trying to keep my voice low and not scare the kid, my eyes on him as he sat on the chair and looked all around him, waiting for something to eat.

"You lived with Lilly, you saw what she ate, so tell me, what can I feed a kid?"

"Even though you are making no sense, I will go along with you, how old is the kid?"

"Uh, hold on," I mumbled before I walked back into the kitchen, grabbing Noah's attention to me, "How old are you?" I asked.

He raised five fingers, "Five," He answered.

I nodded and walked out again, "Five years old."

"Well, Lilly is three and a half, almost four even, and she eats everything, so I guess no problem," He said and I nodded, "Okay, okay, so a sandwich or something like that would be okay?"

"I suppose," He said back, "Not to be asking the obvious or anything, but whose kid are you feeding exactly?"

"It's a long story, I will tell you later," I mumbled, "I need to go now, thanks for being slightly helpful big bro," I said and hung up after.

I went back to the kitchen and took out from the fridge any ingredient that could make a sandwich; ham, Cheddar cheese, cream cheese, mustard, cucumbers, tomatoes, and pickles. I opened the drawer and took the bread out and settled them over the counter across from him.

"Tell me what you like and I can make you a sandwich," I suggested, asking for his help as well.

He pointed at the ham and cheese, "I like those," He said and I nodded as I started to make him a sandwich. I cut some vegetables on the side, he is a small little thing, he probably needs the vitamins. I poured him orange juice and placed them ahead of him.

He looked up at me and smiled, "Thanks."

I smiled back, "No problem," Woah, at least that wasn't so hard.

I sat across from him and silently watched him as he ate, so innocent and unaware, and I couldn't grasp how his mother was able to just leave him and walk away. What if were bad people and just threw him out immediately? Didn't she think of that? What if we were so horrible and caused him harm? Doesn't she worry about him? Is it really that easy to throw your own kid, your own blood, away?

The thought had a weird sensation tighten my chest and on instinct my hand moved to my stomach, resting there and remembering the days when it harbored something inside. Something small. Something human. Something that had a heart, a heart that was beating till it wasn't anymore...

If I ache still for someone I haven't even met, how could she not ache for this kid? That's what I am unable to understand.

"I am done," His soft voice pulled me out of my heavy thoughts and I looked at him, "Do you want more?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Okay, let's go...wash your hands," I suggested and he nodded, being so obedient to everything I said and making me want to aww at him.

Since when I aww at people?

He followed me to the bathroom and I opened the faucet and helped wash his hands and face. When he was all done, I pulled the towel from the hanger and bent down by his side, drying his tiny hands and face.

A few strands of his hair had fallen over his forehead so I brushed them away, involuntarily smiling as I gazed at him, "You are a handsome little thing, do you know that?"

He smiled, pure innocence flashing in his eyes, it had my chest tighten even more, "You are pretty too," He said back and I chuckled, "I am, aren't I?" I said back with a confident playful tone and he nodded his head.

He edged his hand forward, resting it over my cheek, where some bruises were evident still, "Does it hurt?"

I shook my head, "No, no, it doesn't."

He seemed to relax at the fact, almost like he could sense it was his stupid family's fault. I shook the thought away immediately and focused on him, "It's getting late, do you want to sleep?"

He nodded his head, "Okay," He said, agreeing on everything and I wanted to pinch him. Why was he so damn adorable? He shouldn't be this adorable.

I walked him to the room he's been staying in since we got here and pulled the comforter away, fixing the pillows for him to rest. Before he climbed up, he looked down at his clothes, "I should change?" He suggested and I nodded, realizing that yeah, he should wear his PJs. Damn, I am such a rookie at this...

"Uh yeah, sure," I mumbled and headed for the closet. Roman had bought him a couple of clothes to suffice him for the time being. Ugh, my husband really knows how to do this. The idiot, I want him to come back so we can kiss and make up. I don't seem to handle it well when we fight these days.

I helped Noah wear his PJs before he climbed up the bed and settled under the comforter. I fixed it over his body and tucked it under his neck, "Good night," I mumbled but before I could walk away, his fingers reached for my hand, "Can you stay," He asked, a bit of fear in his eyes, "Please," He added and I nodded my head immediately, "Of course."

I settled down by his side and he snuggled closer to me, seeking security before he was able to close his eyes and drift to sleep. I watched him for more than half an hour, making sure he was all okay and fast asleep before I carefully went off the bed and out of the room, keeping the door ajar so I can hear if he woke up later at night.

Right then, I heard the main door open then close. A smile broke onto my face and I rushed to see Roman step inside. His gaze flickered around, checking for something and when he saw me, his expression stayed neutral, "Where is Noah?" He asked, finally exchanging words with me.

"He fell asleep," I answered.

He nodded his head as he took off his jacket and placed it on the hanger. Without exchanging any other words with me, he headed toward the bedroom. Shooting daggers at his back, I followed him. I sat at the bed's edge as he changed his clothes, "Where were you?" I asked.

No answer.

He ignored me. The idiot ignored me.

"Roman, I asked you something," I grated out, my tone turning less friendly.

"I had things to do," He answered back, his voice monotone.

"Oh really," I grated out sarcastically, "Can you stop being a little bitch and talk to me about what's bothering you so damn much?"

He looked at me, finally, "I already talked," He said, "Nothing will change if I talked more, you would never listen to me, anyway, so why bother."

I shot him a glare and I contemplated whether to push a knife at him now. He disappeared into the bathroom and I used that little time to calm myself down, just because there is a kid a few rooms away, he doesn't need more trauma...

Roman walked back in after a few minutes and he sat at the bed's edge, on the other side of me.

"Speak and don't make me use violence," I threatened, "There is a kid in the house."

Air harshly pushed out of his nose, and he turned to look at me, anger surged into his eyes as he clarified, "It's nothing, Emma, it's just I realized that I can protect you from everyone but not from yourself."

"You don't need to protect me from anything," I shot out, angrily.

He scoffed, "What do you want me to do, then, huh," His voice raised slightly, "To sit around and just watch you get hurt, over and over again," His jaw tightened, his gaze flickering all over my face, over my bruises and scars, "I know that you are strong, Emma, I know that you can take a lot, but I need you to be more responsible, I need you to think, you have to think from now onwards, you have to understand that you getting hurt doesn't just affect you, it fucking affects me too," Frustration seeped within his words, "You should learn that it is not the same like before anymore, that you are not alone in this world, that there is me too, I want you to understand that every decision you make doesn't just affect you, it affects us."

He shook his head, his jaw ticking in utter bewilderment, "Nevermind," He grated out when I stayed silent, "In the end, you will do whatever you want anyway, it's up to you," He sounded so fed up, "Do whatever you want."

Then he did a dick move when he turned off the lights and got inside the bed, sticking to his side and giving me his back. He knows I can't fall asleep when the lights are off, he fucking knows that. He keeps them on every night and only turns them off when I am fast asleep. He did this on purpose to drive me mad.

I pressed my eyes shut and tried to breathe. I won't react, I won't react, I won't push my knife into his dick. I won't. There is a kid in the house. I won't react. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out. I won't use my knife. There is a kid. Six. Seven. Eight.

I chanted in my head till I slightly calmed down. I glared at his back and my jaw ticked. I acted childishly like him and pulled the extra pillows from over the ground. I placed them between us, making a barrier so I won't go on hugging him or touching him during the night, that if I can ever fall asleep with the lights off.

I wanted to pretend that his dick move didn't affect me, so I kept the lights turned off as I laid down on my side, my hand under my cheek and my eyes wide open.

Minutes and minutes passed and I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't. I can't. I needed light. I needed to feel safe. I tried to steer away from past memories and every time I closed my eyes, they rushed back. I forced them open and stayed awake. Who needs sleep anyway? My chest tightened. I hated him now. I wanted to punch him, and kick him for doing this to me.

More minutes passed and I felt him move beside me, the sheets made rustling sounds as he got up. I forced myself to stay put, make him believe that I was asleep and totally not affected by him, by his stupid fight, and his way to seek revenge. I heard his light footsteps before he turned the lights on. I thought he was gonna head for the bathroom or something but he just got into the bed again.

The sheets rustled again and I felt him remove the pillows I used as a barrier between us. He tossed them into the ground before I felt his heat right behind me, so close I couldn't breathe anymore. I kept my eyes pressed tight as his arm came around my body and forcefully pulled me to him, pressing my back into his chest.

"Sometimes, I really hate you," He murmured into my hair, "You drive me insane, Emma."

I allowed my eyelids to glide open, sinking into his arms but not facing him still, "I hate you more," I mumbled and he nuzzled his head into my hair, pressing a small kiss over my temple.

"I know," He said.

"I am waiting for Noah to not be here so I can let my anger on your face," I added, meaning it.

"I know that too."

"You are an idiot," I said.

"I know."

"I need you to be patient with me," I whispered lowly, my heart beating a wayward beat after another, "This is all is very new to me." Him, my feelings for him...I am still trying to adjust.

"I know, baby," He added, ever so softly, and tightened his arm around me.

"Stop saying I know unless you want your dick to be chopped off," I mumbled.

His chest vibrated with his low chuckle, "I love you," He murmured into my hair, almost like he sensed how much I needed to hear that now.

I smiled, my eyelids falling down, ready to fall asleep as I whispered, "I know."

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