"Have you ever seen the hell in someone's eyes and loved it anyway?"

****************

Natalie's POV

It felt like we were starting anew.

A new relationship. A new chapter. A new mistake.

I was drunk on my ardent emotions and high on the pheromones and the delicious scent of him to care for anything outside the confines of this moment. All of my defenses evaporated into thin air, getting consumed by the surge of hormones erupting over every nerve in my being.

Deep down, I knew that this was wrong but sue me if I cared. Wrong, because he was still a very dangerous man, a real monster outside these walls, a hurricane that wreaks havoc everywhere he goes. His hands, the same soft hands caressing my body, they are tainted with so much blood. I am wise enough to keep that in mind.

But right now, he was just my Nikolas, the one who cares for me deeply, that turns all mushy when around me, the one who keeps learning every day how to deal with such intense feelings, the one who would go out of his way to make sure I was safe, the one who took me out for a dinner and won me a stuffed unicorn. I focused on that Nikolas only and nothing else. I needed nothing else.

I just knew that despite everything, I will always be safe with this man.

Was it crazy? Yes. But that's what he makes of me.

"I missed you," I croaked out, my throat tight because I felt like I could so easily lose him again. And I am sure that I will. Because till when can we keep playing this dangerous game without any consequences?

"I missed you too," He rasped, his green eyes darkened into a night forest, trapping me there with no way out, "I missed the taste of you," He fitted his lips on mine again, in a way only he can as his tongue swept into my mouth, "The way you feel," He bit my lower lip as his big warm hands caressed my face and neck, trailing a path toward my chest. I gasped when the pad of his thumb brushed over my thin bra, "And the sounds you make," He added, his jaw clenching, remembering exactly what it is like to miss me even though I was here all this time but also so far away from him.

He retreated back slightly just to look at me, emotions played across his features as he stroked his curled finger down the line of my jaw, his eyes following his movements and there were so many feelings playing in his gaze. Determination, hunger but also control.

Green eyes captured mine again, and I could see the silent question there, he was making sure I was completely in. A part of him, the one that fights everything he wants, that part was asking me to back away before we indulge in this irrationality with no way back.

Excitement and thrill flushed my body whole, especially when he asked, "How do you want it?" His voice was heavy and intense, "Slow and deep? Or hard and fast?"

I forgot how to breathe again, "Both," I found myself answering.

If possible, my words had his jaw ticking, his eyes darkening even more before he pressed his lips back against me, murmuring into them, "That's my girl."

Oh, at this moment, I wanted nothing more than to be his girl.

Our lips broke contact and so did our bodies when he edged away from me. I missed his warmth almost instantly and a low whiney sound involuntarily left my mouth. He liked my desperation because I saw the corner of his lip lift up just slightly.

I pressed my elbows into the mattress, pulling myself up slightly, more than ready to jump, attack him and remove those damn pants to reveal what was hiding underneath. My lips parted but before I could speak, the ringing sound of my phone broke through this moment like a damn cockblock. A low groan rumbled from my throat at the useless thing, "Usually no one calls me," I grumbled out, ignoring it as it lit up and vibrated over the nightstand.

I looked back at Nikolas and shook my head, "Forget about it and take those off," I said, commanding and his eyebrow raised slightly at my order. He edged closer, his fingers resting around my chin and tilting my face up just a fraction, "Natalie, maybe you can use this tone outside this room, but in here," He gently ran his thumb over my lower lip, "I am the one who gives orders."

Jesus Christ. "You could ask me to jump off a bridge right now and I would gladly do it," I breathed out, my voice low and my body ready to collapse into a hormonal mess at the bit of edge and command in his tone. You see, when sex is involved, you can kiss feminism goodbye.

His chest vibrated lightly and he was about to take my lips back into another blissful ride when my phone started ringing again. I groaned into Nikolas's lips, it was getting so fucking annoying that I wanted to scream now. My eyelids glided open, looking at him as I said, "Let me see who it is," Because no one pressingly calls me like this, at least not at this ungodly hour, "But we will resume this right after," He was about to back away from me but my fingers tightened over his shoulder, keeping him close, "Promise me we will resume this."

His lips twitched at my insistence, nodding as he backed away, fetching my phone off the nightstand and handing it to me. My gaze flickered to the screen, ready to swear at whoever's name was flashing there but my whole world stilled for a second when I realized it was the hospital's number.

My heart rattled in my chest and I felt myself pale out, immediately pressing the answer button and lifting the phone to my ear. It was Annette, the nice old nurse who always updates me on dad's situation, "Is dad okay?" I whispered, the worst scenarios ever getting conjured up in my brain.

Nikolas inched closer to my side, lines etched on his forehead as he looked at me, sensing how something was not right, "Honey, it's just your father had a seizure episode twice today," She started to explain and I pressed my eyes shut, wishing they told me from the start so I would've been there with him. The doctor did say it could be one of the side effects of the trauma his head was subjected to during the accident, and after being unconscious for years, this was bound to happen, "We had to sedate him but he is better now and resting."

That didn't calm me the slightest, I felt the helpless tears rush into my eyes, because I'd rather live through anything than lose him all over again, "Can I come and see him, please," I mumbled into the phone, knowing that we are way past the visiting hours limit but I had to see him with my own eyes or I won't be able to get through this night.

"Of course, it's my shift this night, I'll let you in," She answered and I nodded, "Thank you so much, I'll be there as fast as I can."

When I hung up, Nikolas's warm palm cupped my cheek, making me face him as he asked, "Is he okay?"

I looked at him and tried to swallow down my tears before they come spilling out. I nodded then weakly shook my head, "I just...I have to see him," Before I could ask it, he was answering, already on his feet and gently pulling me along, "Come on, wear something, I'll take you there."

I nodded silently, not ready to say more as I threw a random sweatshirt over myself. Nikolas did the same and we walked out of the house not long after. His hand rested over my back as he led my way toward the car. I paused by the door, turning around and looking up at him, "I am sorry," I mumbled, "I am sure this is not what you expected tonight to be about," I added.

He shook his head, using his hand over my back to pull me closer, "Natalie, this is much more important," He said, serious and I sniffled, trying my best not to cry. He sensed my high level of distress, "Come here," He urged softly, bringing his arms around my body and pulling me into his warmness.

I sank into his hold, pressing my forehead against his chest as a tear scrolled down into the fabric of his shirt, "I know I shouldn't be this pessimistic," I mumbled, "But I just got him back, and I am so terrified of losing him again," I could easily lose him, which is why I have to do everything in my power to stop it.

"You won't, Natalie, we'll do everything we can to make sure of that," Nikolas said, pressing a kiss over my head. I tilted my head backward so I can see him, he brought his hand up and wiped away the lone tear I couldn't hold in, "He will get better and it wouldn't be long before he gets out of there and comes back home to you."

Involuntarily, my lips twitched into a somber smile, "Look at you succeeding in making me feel better," I commented and he mirrored my smile, "Guess I learned a thing or two from you."

I was more scared of the fact that I was the one learning a thing or two from him. I shook the thought almost immediately, especially when he opened my door and said, "Come on, let's go."

We both got inside the car and took off toward the hospital. It didn't take us that long to arrive, which helped with my accelerating anxiety. Nikolas stayed by my side as we took the elevator and headed toward dad's room. My footsteps slowed down when my confused gaze fell on Ronald, standing by the door, his back pressed against the wall next to it, head bowed down as he went through his phone.

I paused to a stop when we reached him, my gaze instantly flickering inside, watching dad laying over the bed, and peacefully sleeping. Ronald's gaze went to me and then to Nikolas before his eyes fell back on mine, "He is better now," He informed and I nodded my head, deciding not to ask about when did he get here or how did he learn about this in the first place.

I left their side and walked inside the room, stopping only when I reached his bed. I sat down on its edge, my gaze flickering all over and taking him in, watching as his chest rose up and down in a relaxing rhythm. He is okay. He is breathing. He is just sleeping. I tried to calm down my erratic heartbeats as I brought my hand forward, brushing a few strands of his hair away, caressing them, "I need you to get better soon," I whispered lowly, a small somber smile lifted my lips, "Because I have a big surprise for you."

The doctor said to go easy on him, and not to drop heavy information all at once, to give him time to adjust and adapt to his new life. So, I can't tell him yet about his little boy, the one who has gotten so big, who is alive and healthy.

My thoughts drifted back to Nathan, to the brother I didn't know existed till recently, to how that fact could turn dad's life upside down. It might help him heal, to learn that he didn't lose everything on that cursed day; the one that occurred years ago but must still feel like yesterday to him.

I inched closer and pressed my lips over his forehead, "You're gonna love him," I mumbled, "He is like a small little man, you should see him," I sniffled. It all still feels so surreal. It makes my heart sour that even though I just found him, I am unable to keep him with me. But there were apparent risks I can't take. I'd rather him be under Nik's protection than anywhere near Isaac.

Even if he saw him as a son, he isn't his to keep.

I placed the chair by the bed and stayed glued to dad's side for some time, watching him up close helped ease my distressed nerves. Ronald didn't interject on our moment and I was curious if he was still here or had left. Nikolas also gave me time alone before he knocked on the door and stepped inside. I looked up at him when he got close and handed me a warm cup of tea. An immediate smile pushed at my lips, "Thanks," I mumbled lowly as I took it from him and inched it closer to my lips.

He returned my smile, his hand resting on my shoulder from the back. He tipped his head down and tenderly pecked my cheek, "I talked with the doctor," He informed me, giving my shoulder a gentle squeeze, "He said they have it all under control, and they will just monitor him for a couple of days before they can let him go, so I don't want you to worry, okay?"

I nodded, feeling myself relax into the seat, the tension from over my chest slowly getting whisked away. I held the cup with one hand only and brought the other one up, resting it over Nikolas's. It's so strange but I feel that out of nowhere I am getting all of my family back, Ronald, dad, and Nathan. It should soothe me and I should be swimming with happiness. But I can't help the feeling that just as quickly we are building this up, it could as easily come crashing down.

So yes, I am still terrified to the bones.

Because I could feel Isaac's eyes on me, following me everywhere I go. I know that he won't stop, not until I do all that he wants.

****************

I stayed the night at the hospital, it was best for my mental state or I would've been worried all night long. Even Ronald stayed here, he would come into the room, check on us silently then walk back outside without exchanging any words with me.

I still don't understand the dude. We are practically living together, but neither one of us made the first step to just sit and talk, to discuss the past and what broke between us. I wasn't going to be the one to speak first, I am still waiting for him to do it, because truth is, I am still hurt and mad shit at everything he did.

I convinced Nikolas to leave, and since Ronald was here, he didn't need to worry about my safety. He said that he had a few things to do in the morning and after that, we can meet back at his place.

I spent the better half of the morning with dad, talking about everything and nothing when he woke up, observing and making sure he was all better. I would've not left his side still if Lauretta didn't kick me out as I have overstayed my visit. Kissing him goodbye and begging Lauretta to call me immediately if anything was to happen, Ronald and I left the hospital and he drove me back to Nik's house.

My phone buzzed in my pocket when I walked inside the apartment. I pulled it out, smiling as I saw Nikolas's name and I answered, a bit too fast, "Hey handsome," I said into the phone and heard Ronald grumble something from behind me.

I turned around and shot him a glare before I walked far away from him, not allowing him to interject on my private call, "There is an important ball tonight," Nikolas said, "And I want you to be on my side," He added and I hummed on the my side part, "Are you in?"

"Yeap, I sure am," I answered, curious about the type of this...important ball, "What's the dress code?" I questioned. I might need to go back to my place and pick something up, I don't remember bringing anything ball-fitting when I came here.

"I already got you a dress," He added, breaking through my thoughts, "It will be delivered to the house later today."

"You? You got me a dress?" I asked in disbelief, "Well sue me, but I am a bit hesitant to go now."

He sounded offended, "What now? Are you questioning my taste?"

"Uhm no, no, I mean you dress yourself devastatingly well," The image of him last night rushed back with full force to the forefront of my brain, the taste of his lips on mine, the thing we were about to do, it made me flush all over, "But dressing me...Uhm yeah, I do have my doubts."

"Don't worry Natalie, I know what looks good on you," There was an edge in his tone, one so similar to last night before he was about to ravish me...

"Gonna have to wait and see it first," I still teased him because it was just fun and I could fully imagine his grumpy expression, "I am placing my bets on it being ugly though."

"Okay, you little tease, what do you want to bet on?"

"If it's ugly, which it will be, you will sleep cuddling with Nicky tonight," I started to say.

"Who is nic...oh come on.."

I suppressed my chuckle as he grumbled something and I added, "And if it is good..."

"I will be resuming right from where we stopped last night," He said, interrupting me from saying anything.

I smiled, biting down on my lower lip, "Deal," I said with determination, the first time wishing to lose a bet.

"See you tonight, then."

"Can't wait," I added.

****************

Emma's POV

"So, you are still not talking to me?" The man named Nikolas said and I ignored him yet again. Even though he apologized, I am still in no way near forgiving him. I don't think I ever will. He deserves all of my anger and all of my knives.

"Leave her alone," Roman shot from beside me, getting annoyed as well. He placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. Sometimes, it feels like I only have him in this messy world. I leaned into him and kept ignoring the other useless presence in the room.

"Stay out of it," Nikolas said back to Roman, "Unless you want me to put your head into a wall."

My jaw ticked and I finally looked at him, glaring, "Don't threaten my husband," I grated out, "Unless you want me to put my knives in your dick."

Jeremy choked on his water, coughing out and when Nikolas shot him a glare, the guy shrank back in his seat and pretended to be busy on his laptop. Nikolas let out a very loud sigh before he slumped down in his chair, crossed his arms over his chest, and kept looking at me.

When I kept glaring at him, his shoulders fell down, and his expression shifted from anger and annoyance into something akin to helplessness, "What do you want me to do?" If I wasn't bewildered at him I'd say he would really just do anything I ask from him now.

It was tempting but I could only cling to anger, "Go and die, that's what I want."

His eyebrow raised, calling me off on my bullshit because he knew that I cared for him still and he used that against me. If I didn't care, it wouldn't hurt this much.

I sank into Roman's hold and felt him press a soft kiss over my head and whispered to me, "Do you want to leave?"

My gaze lifted up to him and I shook my head. I haven't mastered the courage to go back home, because if I do, I will have to face her, talk with her, and ask her things I am not sure I want to learn anymore. I always wanted answers but now that they were attainable, I don't want them anymore. What if my mother was just like Isaac? What if she hated me too?

I am better off imagining she was perfect. The phantom of her in my head is better than any truth I would learn.

My gaze went back to Nikolas and his questioning eyes were still on me. You know what, I am in desperate need to blow off some steam, and I know just the way. I pulled myself away from Roman and got up to my feet, determined as I faced Nikolas, "We fight," I stated my request, wide and clear, "And the one who stays standing wins."

His eyebrows pulled closer, "I am not going to fight you."

I shrugged, "Then, the next time you see my face would be at your funeral," I was about to turn around and get the hell out of here but Nikolas stopped me. His hand curled over my arm, pulling me back and I shook it away immediately.

I turned to look at him, "If you win, I will give you a chance, but if I win, which of course I will, I never want to see you again."

Roman joined our conversation, edging closer to my side, "Emma, what the hell," He said, a bit of bewilderment in his tone.

I looked at him, "Don't worry, I can easily kick his ass," I added as I looked back at Nikolas, who was trying to make up his mind about this.

"It's your pick, bro," I taunted him, my eyebrow raising, challenging him and his jaw ticked.

His eyes drifted away for a full second before he settled them back on mine. He nodded his head, "Okay, we'll do it your way this time."

A smile crawled up my lips, satisfied, and Roman facepalmed. I whirled around on my heels and started to walk toward the training room. I had so much anger buried inside and I was gonna make it all explode over his face. I heard Roman hiss something at Nikolas but it didn't matter, we were going to do this anyway.

The second I walked into the room, the few men standing in my way moved right away, clearing my path. Good, slamming my fist into their boss's jaw probably scared them off. That alone made me so happy and excited for what was to come. I took off my shoes and placed them aside and pulled my hair into a ponytail before I jumped into the ring, cracking my neck and stretching my arms. This is going to be so much fun.

Nikolas shrugged off his jacket before he joined me. His eyes flickered all over me, "No knives," he stated and I rolled my eyes. Such a baby. Still, I will make this a fair fight so I pulled my two knives and dropped them on the floor beside the ring.

I sensed as his men started to leave the room, giving us privacy but I interrupted them, "No, no come back here," I waved them to get close with my hand, "I want you all to witness this," My gaze drifted from them to Nikolas, "I want you to watch me beat the shit out your boss."

Air harshly pushed out of Nikolas's chest, hating what I was doing but he could do nothing to stop me. I gave him an accomplished stare before I looked back at our small crowd, my eyes falling on Roman, who looked more than ready to jump in and drag me out but he knows how my knives would engrave his skin if he dared to do that. I threw him a wink and his jaw tightened, indirectly warning me not to get myself hurt.

"Who will start?" Nikolas asked and I gave him a knowing look, "I will," I said and without hesitation, I rushed into him with determination, my fist flying to meet his skin and bruise it again but he was prepared for me this time and his hand stopped my attack. His fingers wrapped over my fist and pushed it away. I was already pushing my other fist but he stopped that one too.

Well, good thing I have legs.

I pushed my knee up and into his stomach, the force knocking off his tight grip and I used that to my advantage, pushing his hand away from my fist, groaning as my elbow hit him in the side of his neck, not willing to give him the upper hand from the start. I didn't give him time and I was attacking again. This time, my fist was aimed at his chest, ready to push him down over his back but he dodged my hit, moving slightly and gaining more power by wrapping his hand over my aimed arm, using it to twirl me around so fast, and slamming my back into his chest, his arm going around my shoulders, containing me. His leg came in front of mine, blocking any attack I could attempt.

The asshole, he wasn't a piece of cake but I've had worse. I can take him.

"We don't need to do it this way, Emma," He grated out, his mouth close to my ear, and I heaved out a hoarse breath, my anger multiplying. I wasn't going to do such a reckless move from the very start but I had to, I can't let him push me down and win this. So, I edged my head forward, pressing my eyes shut and preparing myself for the pain as I slammed it back so fast and with so much force. It crashed right into his face. The sick sound it made resonated into the four walls and I could swear I heard someone gasp, mostly probably Jermey.

Nikolas groaned in apparent pain, his arms loosening from around me and I pushed myself away so quickly, stumbling forward and straightening myself. The pain that surged through my head had me see the room spinning and I blinked, once, twice. I tried to focus my eyesight as I turned to look at him and see what part of him I made bleed. I took full pleasure in watching the blood drip down the corner of his mouth and fall into his white shirt. He used the back of his hand to wipe at his mouth, his dark eyes burning holes into my skin, my action triggering something in him because he moved forward, coming at me with full force.

I thought I was prepared for his attack, but no, because he didn't punch my face, my stomach, or any part of me. He did the unexpected, wrapping his hand over my leg, using enough force to pull my leg forward which caused my balance to falter, gasping as my back went crashing down the mattress. It didn't hurt one bit and I knew what he was doing, trying to stop me without causing me pain and that made my fury burst out.

I wanted him to fucking fight me, why wouldn't he just do that?

Groaning, I pulled my upper body but his hand pressed against my shoulder, hard enough to push me down. He edged closer, glaring at me, "It's enough," He grated out and I shook my head. It wasn't. I was still burning with rage.

"Why are you pulling back your punches, you asshole?" I shot out through clenched teeth, bewildered at him.

"Because I would never hurt you, Emma!" He shot back, the fire in his eyes nearly matching the one in my own.

"But you did," I grated out, breathing hard, I was panting for god's sake.

"And I would never do it again," There was a rawness in his tone that almost made me believe him but I refused to, "So, can we please put this behind us?" His chest heaved and I watched the cut I caused at the corner of his mouth bleed, "Please, Emma," His voice lowered, a plea that almost made me forgive him so fast.

Nope. No. Not this fast.

I needed to hurt him one more time. So, I did it again. I rammed my head up and slammed it against his with a force that almost knocked us both unconscious. I clung to the adrenaline exploding in my veins and pushed him off me, my leg wrapped around his, and I twisted it enough that I was able to switch roles. His back slammed into the matt and I was the one on top now, and with the upper hand.

Fuck, my head felt like it was about to explode. I could feel the warmness gather at my temple and I watched the same blood breakthrough on his forehead. He pressed his eyes shut, lowly groaning at the not-very-good sensation, and when his eyelids opened and his hazy green ones met mine, I smiled, "Now, we are even."

"You are insane," He grumbled out, bringing his hand up to his face, his fingers brushing at the bruise I caused.

"Insanity runs in our blood, big bro," I answered.

I pulled myself off him and stood up. Whoa, I felt my balance flattering there for a second but I stood my ground. I hope I didn't cause myself a concussion. I rubbed at my temple, wiping the blood away, and heard a few whistles come from the crowd. Nikolas pushed himself up to his feet, came closer to me, and rested his hand over my arm, urging me to look at him.

I read the question in his eyes and I answered it with another question, my voice only for him to hear, "You won't hide anything from me again?"

He shook his head, "I won't."

I let out a low breath and nodded my head, "Then, I will learn how to forgive you with time."

His eyebrow raised at my unwillingness to make it easy for him. He used his hold over my arm to pull me close. He wrapped his arms around me and I wanted to fight against his hold but he rendered me helpless. Instinctively, my eyelids dropped down, feeling safe in his hold, "I want you to know that I've always got your back," He whispered, and fuck it, but I believed him.

My shoulders relaxed down and when I pulled away, I offered him a small smile, "I've got your back too," I mumbled.

He returned my smile and my eyes flickered from him and went around, searching for Roman but...he wasn't in the room anymore. Confused lines etched between my eyebrows and I jumped off the ring, searching around for him. I left the training room and looked for him in the others.

My eyes spotted him leaving and stepping out of the metallic gate. My confusion deepened and I jogged behind him, trying to catch up before he got into the elevator, "Roman, wait," I said, my hand curling over his sleeves and urging him to stop.

He turned around and I asked, softer than I like to admit, "Why did you leave?"

His expression didn't hold any humorous hint, especially when his gaze flickered to my forehead and observed my wound up close, "You think I would just stand there and watch you cause yourself more harm again?" The hardness in his voice shocked me, it had me take a step backward because I didn't expect him to get angry over this.

My eyebrows pulled closer, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I worry about you, Emma, so fucking much and I can try to protect you from everyone," He shook his head, scoffing, "But apparently, I can't protect you from yourself."

Did he mean that I cause myself more harm than those around me do?

"Where is this coming from?" I said, still trying to comprehend what the hell was his deal.

He shook his head, "I don't know," He grated out, "All I know is that there is a limit for me to stand by and watch you get hurt, and apparently, I've reached it," He said, his jaw tight and I didn't understand a thing, "It's always just gonna be like this with you and I don't think I am okay with that."

Then, he turned around and walked away from me. What the actual fuck?

*****************

Natalie's POV

Newsflash. I lost the bet.

I lost big times.

I was applying my makeup and fixing my hair, getting ready for the ball when the dress arrived and god help me, but it was exquisite. I gaped at it when I opened the fancy white box and pulled it out. If I had seen this dress in a shop, I would've definitely been drooling all over it, that's a fact. But one thing is for sure, I would've not been able to afford it in a million years. The fabric and the brand were enough to tell me I needed a year's salary to be able to buy such a piece.

The dress was black, sleeveless and its simplicity only made it look more classy. It had a side slit, and one of its best features was its cross-strap open back. I couldn't wait any longer, so I took off my PJs and carefully wore it. I fixed it over myself but struggled to tie the straps on the back. I let out a low groan and turned around, making my back face the mirror so I can watch myself as I tried to make a good knot.

The footsteps nearing had my gaze drift from the mirror to the door, where Ronald had his hands curled and ready to knock. His gaze fell on me, a second too long before he said, "Hey."

I couldn't help but observe that he was dressed more formally this time. Apparently, he is also attending this ball as well. He was wearing a navy blue suit with a white shirt underneath. One that brought out the color of his eyes more intensely. He wore no tie and the first few buttons of his shirt were left undone. His hair was the opposite of its usual mess, neatly pulled back. I couldn't deny it, for a total jerk, he did look good.

"Want help?" He asked, sensing my apparent struggle.

I sighed and nodded my head. He walked inside the room, and I turned around to let him tie the straps into a better-looking knot. He fixed it rather quickly and when I turned to look in the mirror, it was done perfectly. I sneaked a quick look at myself and I smiled. Damn you, Nikolas, you really do have good taste.

Ronald was still in my room for some reason, and when I turned and faced him, my eyebrow raised, questioning. A small smile lifted his lips, his gaze softening, "You look so beautiful."

Does he want something from me? Or did he do something wrong? I don't remember us being at the stage where we share compliments...

"What do you want?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him suspiciously.

His eyes, the same as my own looked back at me. He let out a low sigh, "Is it too much to want us to go back to what we used to be before."

I chuckled, he is really funny, "You mean before you hid from me what happened to mom and left me and dad to join...this world?" My eyebrow raised, "You want us to go back there, right? Because it's just that easy and simple."

"Then, what can I do to make you understand the choice I had to make?"

I shook my head, dismissing him for now, "You really have terrible timing, Ronald."

I was about to walk past him and leave the room but his hand curled over my arm and stopped me, "Natalie," He called for me, "If you were in my place, you would've done the same exact thing."

The audacity. I whirled around and shook my head, "No, that's the difference between us, I would've never left you, not when you had no one, not when you were helpless and broken," I shook my head, "I would've never you left you, Ronald, but now, now I would and even though I am mad at you beyond imagination, my heart still hurts for you," His throat bobbed and a wave of emotions surged through his eyes, "It hurts because I could only imagine the type of horrible things you had to go through all alone," It was more than obvious, I could read it all over him.

He was bleeding but no one can see it, not even himself.

"I hurt for you but I won't do a thing because this was your choice, you chose to do this on your own," My jaw tightened and I shook my head, "You chose to walk into their world and you should face the consequences of your own choices."

My words hit a place in him but he shielded himself rather quickly. He refused to let me see more and without muttering a word, he walked away and exited my room. My throat tightened and I refused to shed tears for him, he isn't worth ruining my perfect makeup, right?

I scoffed at myself and at the type of life I am leading. I pressed my eyes shut and shook away every other thought. I glided my eyes open and took one last look in the mirror. I fixed my hair and applied my lipstick before I picked up my heels and left the room.

I was too absorbed with getting ready and arguing with Ronald to notice that Nikolas had come back home. I came halting to a stop when my eyes fell on him, leaving his room and pausing in the hallway to fix his watch. Whoa, talk about having good taste...

He was wearing his black suit with ease. This man and the color black, is a never-ending love story. The black slacks smoothly covered his long legs and the white shirt molded perfectly to his toned hard chest. With those chiseled cheekbones and eyes that resembled every green hue left in the forest after a hurricane. He looked impenetrable, like nothing can ever touch him.

He oozed power, something is just so different about him and I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I started to walk closer and he turned around, sensing my closeness. His untamed eyes fell on me just as I paused right by his side. I watched him struggle to suck that last breath back into his lungs, and the pulse over his neck accelerated, I could swear I heard it, or wait, was that my own heartbeat taking off sprint?

He finally breathed and I felt like I could crumble to the ground, "You look..." He didn't finish the sentence, he closed his mouth, then parted his lips again, and still, he couldn't come up with the word he was looking for.

I smiled, all shyly, "Beautiful?" I suggested, helping him out.

He shook his head, his gaze flickering all over my face, "That word isn't enough."

I bit at my lower lip, trying not to get that much affected by him but it was near impossible, "Yeah, spending an hour perfecting my hair and makeup better get me a response like that."

He shook his head and edged closer, leaving me no space to breathe anything that isn't him, "It's not that," He brought his fingers to my face, caressing my skin, "It's you," He whispered, "Something about you Natalie, is just out of this world."

Oh god, he is gonna make me faint.

I couldn't manage to say anything playful to turn the conversation around. I couldn't manage to do anything but stand so close and breathe the same air as him. His thumb moved over my lip, "If I kissed you, would I ruin that thing over your lips?"

I shook my head, "No, it's actually water-proof," I started to say, extending the conversation, "Which I think means it is also kiss-proof beca-"

The rest of my words evaporated into a gasp when he slammed his lips into mine, breaking free from the grasp of control as he knocked the breath out of my lungs. Just like that and every bit of Nikolas surrounded me, enveloped me, and maddened me. His hand curled possessively over the back of my neck, bringing me even closer as if closer was an option but he was stubborn enough to make it happen.

I was helplessly subjected to his hungry mouth. The way he is kissing and sucking on me made me want to rip my dress off and have him do to me whatever he pleased. Forget about the ball, forget everyone. He played with my tongue so professionally because by now he knew all of my ticking points. He sucked gently on my lower lip, in a way that had a low moan erupt from my throat.

I had to shake myself back in when he edged away. We weren't alone in the house and god knows Ronald is the last person I need to witness this.

Nikolas leaned closer to conclude the kiss with a peck, "I win," He said into my lips and I hummed in response. He sure won, and I sure as hell lost. Lost the bet, lost my sanity, and lost my heart to this man.

He broke contact, enough to let me compose myself and fix my hair. I tapped my hand over my mouth hoping my lipstick isn't smeared, because that kiss is bound to prove the kiss-proof theory wrong, "How do I look?"

I asked him, checking if he ruined my face with his assault. He smiled, all manly, "Ravishing."

My eyebrow raised, and I could feel my lips become evidently swollen, "Ravished by you."

He rested his hand over my lower back, leading my way, "Oh Natalie, you haven't seen anything yet."

I gulped down and decided not to comment on that or we won't leave the house ever.

Using Nikolas as my support, I bent down and wore my high heels. When I straightened myself, I still couldn't reach his height but I was much closer now. My gaze fell onto his face and my eyebrows pulled closer as I noticed a visible cut over his temple and another small one at the corner of his mouth, I was so absorbed into our kiss and heated encounter to notice them before.

I brought my hand up, brushing my fingers over his mouth, "What happened?"

He shook his head like it was nothing. Just a normal day in his messy life. My eyebrow raised, "Who did this?" I doubted that a lot of people would be able to get the upper hand on him. The thought reminded me of the day his father hurt him and I immediately shook the image away. It was horrifying.

"Emma," He mumbled and my eyes widened, "It's a long story, I will tell you about it on the way."

***************

Nikolas's POV

We entered the big fancy hall, my hand resting over Natalie's lower back as we stepped inside, and almost instantly, eyes started to drift and focus on us. All of them whispering and wondering about the mystery girl tucked between my arms.

It was a first for me to bring someone into such celebrations, so they had the right to be shocked. Usually, I would've not brought her, never made her take any step into this tainted world of mine but I needed to make a statement. I wouldn't miss this occasion to deliver my message to everyone, wide and clear.

I wasn't scared of anyone anymore. They all needed to know whose protection she was under. It'll make them think twice before they attempt to breathe her way.

Natalie tensed at the attention she was getting, it made her fist her hand tightly over the back of my suit jacket. Acquaintances greeted us with welcoming words and smiles. Natalie responded back with a shy nervous smile. I bet she felt out of place and I wanted her to calm down. I moved my hand from over her back and it went to her waist, wrapping there and pulling her even closer to me, "Relax," I whispered into her ear, "I am right here."

Her anxious gaze flickered up to me, taking reassurance from my gaze, and her tensed muscles relaxed slightly. Her lips curved a small smile, one I couldn't help but return. She allowed her gaze to flicker away, taking into the details of her surroundings, mesmerized, but the peaceful moment passed rather quickly and she tensed up again. I followed her path of sight and figured out the reason behind her sudden distress. She leaned into me, partially terrified, her wide eyes meeting mine, "Nikolas, he is here," She whispered, addressing Joseph.

I nodded, "I know," My calmness had the fear double up in her gaze, "Then, why did you bring me here?" Her tone was almost accusing and I shook my head, resting my hand over her cheek, "Just like everyone in this room, he too will learn whose protection you are under," I shook my head, "He wouldn't dare to come near you ever again, I promise."

She gulped down, hesitant, and I asked, "Do you trust me?"

It took her a full second before she gave me a small nod, "Then I don't want you to worry, you are safe."

She looked away, her muscles still tense and I urged, "Relax, Natalie, I won't let anyone hurt you," I said, watching as Joseph started to make his way toward us, "I need your fiery self back," I said, "People like him," People like me, "They feed on fear."

She tried to compose herself just as Joseph took a pause by my side. He flashed me a very ungenuine smile, "Nikolas," He addressed me, bitterness in his tone, "Looks like you got over my daughter so soon."

I chuckled as I picked up a glass of champagne from the waiter and handed it to Natalie before I took one for myself, "Come on Joseph, we both know I never gave a shit about your daughter."

His jaw tightened as I casually sipped on my drink but he tried to act indifferent, especially when his eyes flickered to Natalie, "And who is this pretty girl?" He tried to play clueless but we were both fully aware of everything.

"The name is Natalie," She was the one speaking now, using a fake softness in her tone, with an apparent hardness laying underneath. She extended her hand forward, "It is Joseph, right?"

His gaze fell on her extended hand, and his jaw moved but he acted neutral and wrapped his hand over hers, shaking it. I kept my gaze focused there, ready to break it and his face if he dares to do or say one wrong thing to her, "You do look quite familiar...Natalie," He stressed out on her name and she smiled, ever so sweetly, "Oh yeah, they do say I look just like my mother."

"You would know that better than anyone," She said, a taunting edge to her tone as she broke the contact and casually took a sip of her champagne, "Right...uncle?"

My lips twitched, watching him get uncomfortable, he expected her fear and she gave him the exact opposite of that. That's my girl. His jaw ticked, scoffing as his eyes fell on mine, "Got a fiery one over here, Nikolas," he commented, "Better watch over her," He added, threatening, and I nodded, my hand tightening over her waist, looking at her only as I said, "Yeah, she is the best."

My gaze flickered to him, my tone casual but my dark warning was evident, "Which is why I would burn the whole world if anyone dares to touch her."

Joseph's jaw ticked, he was starting to lose his cool as his eyes fell back on Natalie, "Looks aren't the only thing you share with your mother, Natalie," He said, his jaw set tight, "She tended to make the stupidest of decisions as well," He added, addressing me.

I knew that Natalie was boiling on the inside but she didn't reflect one bit of it over her expression. Instead, she leaned into my hold, letting out a low dreamy sigh, content in my embrace and she smiled at him, "Yeah, I didn't fall that far from the tree after all."

He wanted her anger, he sought her fear but got nothing and that infuriated him. His eyes fell on me and he nodded, "Guess I'll see you around, Nikolas," He grated out, building distance for now, and he started to back away, his eyes flickering to Natalie one last time, hardening before he walked away.

When he was out of our sight, Natalie slammed her glass over the table, unable to keep it in for too long. She stood in front of me, her jaw tight, her eyes flaming, a bit of redness rushing into the whiteness, "I want to go and kill him, is that so bad?" She grated out, the harshness in her tone a total contradiction to her delicate self.

I edged closer, bringing my hand up and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, "Don't worry, he will meet his end soon," I said, a promise in my words and she nodded, agreeing, "I never thought I'd ask this from you but make it hurt, make it hurt as much as you can, please," She requested hoarsely and her wish was my command. It felt fitting for once, for her angelic self to pursue the devil in me, need him to ruin and kill, to do the unspeakable things she never thought of before. And damn it but he would, he would do anything for her.

She let her eyelids drop down as she aimed to compose herself and keep her anger and pain at bay. My gaze flickered all over her beautiful face and right at that moment, I felt a scorching sting erupt all over my chest, it burned me deep down when I realized that I would really do anything for her. She had no clue but if she was the one asking me to jump off a bridge, I would gladly do it without thinking twice. It was just too dangerous. I've done danger before but it never felt like this. It never felt like it could demolish me, ruin and break me altogether.

Her chest heaved slightly before it fell back into its usual rhythm and she pried her eyes open, the blue in them clashed with the green in mine but it didn't set me free for once, the exact opposite, it suffocated me, it pushed me right off the edge and deep under the water. I fell...who am I kidding, I've been falling for a long time, I just haven't crashed down yet.

She blinked and I pulled myself back from that chasmic end. My jaw tightened and the same determination that had me bring her here, with me and on my side, made me want to push her to the furthest ends of this world, and away from me. True, there were many feelings I don't know, emotions I am not capable to comprehend but this, this was clear as the sun.

They say you can't give what you never had. I don't believe in that. Because I never had this; so can someone explain why I am feeling it resonating deep into every alive nerve in my being...

The fleeting moment hit a pause when Natalie's eyes flickered away from mine and fell into something, or someone behind me. She looked over my shoulder and her whole being went still. Her throat bobbed, her fingers twitched and her eyes settled back on mine. I understood who she saw without the need to hear her say it out loud. I gave her a reassuring nod, "Relax," I whispered and she let out a low breath, her shoulders falling down.

My eyes went to Ronald, at the other end of the room. One look from me and he understood, he walked closer to us, ready to take her side and pull her a bit away from me as I talk with him. The second she walked away with Ronald, is the moment I turned around and Isaac took a stop, a little distance separating us. His eyes drifted away from Natalie's retreating back and met mine.

"I was wondering if you'd show up," I was the first to speak, my eyebrow raising, "You know, I thought you'd rather be home crying over your missing son."

His jaw tightened, and the look in his eyes was hard as ever. He hadn't made a move since I took Nathan and that was suspicious. Isaac never stands still, he is planning something, and I am yet to find out what it is.

"How is he?" He asked, the words grating out of his throat, and if I knew any better, I'd say he is one second away from exploding and making a scene, which is exactly what I want him to do.

I shrugged, "All I can say is that his limbs are still attached to his body," I said, carelessly and his eyes fired up, "I am just waiting for you to trip and do something wrong so I can get creative."

The fact that he saw the worse in me helped convince him that I am ready to cross such a boundary and hurt the kid. When in reality, even though Nathan was probably the most annoying kid I've ever met, he was slowly growing on me.

Isaac's hand on the side curled into a fist, trapping his rage and I wanted to smile, I loved ticking him off, "You are not going to win this war, Nikolas," He grated out, hissing, a clear threat in his voice.

I shook my head, "That's the thing father, I am not doing this to win," Win what? He won a long time ago. My mood flipped and so did my expression, it slightly hardened as I said, "Everything I am doing is just so her death wouldn't go to waste."

He took a step forward, "Don't worry, it won't be long before you join her as well," He said and no threat will he make is going to affect me the slightest.

My eyebrow raised, my casual calm reaction toward every word and every threat infuriating him beyond measure, "Isn't that the dream?"

The sound of glass clinking took our attention away, and my gaze flickered to the party's host, standing at the center, making a toast and welcoming everyone, "I would love to stay and catch up on this lovely father-son moment," I said to Isaac, "But I have more important things to do now," I added, leaving his side and heading toward Natalie.

My arm sneaked around her waist when I paused by her side, catching her gaze again and I asked, "You okay?"

She offered me a small smile, and she nodded her head, her eyes flickering to where I came from before she questioned, "You?"

I looked at her face and smiled, "Never been better."

The side of her head rested against my arm, leaning into me, seeking comfort and assurance as we listened to Xavier greet everyone. His eyes fell on me among the crowd and he smiled, I did him a favor once, and now it's time for him to pay back, "Also, it's a special day because for the first time ever," He continued to speak, coming closer to our side, "The one and only, Nikolas Viarchi, has granted us his presence, not just that, but with a girl on his side," He paused, standing right across from us.

Natalie straightened up beside me, again uncomfortable with the attention. Once I say what I came here to say, I am taking her the hell away from here, "Well, we all can hear the hearts of the single ladies in the room break, don't we," He added, jokingly and a few of the people laughed alongside him.

"Actually, if anyone should talk about the importance of today to us, as a community, it should be you," Xavier added, grabbing everyone's attention toward me. Their chatter subdued down as I moved, ready to leave Natalie's side.

"I will do one thing and we'll leave, okay," I leaned and whispered in her ear. She looked at me and nodded her head.

I was in the center now, and all of the eyes were focused on me, "As Xavier said, it is really important to address what today represents to us," I started to say and Natalie looked around confused, trying to comprehend all of this, "On this day, years ago, my grandfather won a war against one of our biggest enemies," I spoke, "If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be here today," I added and I could see people nodding their heads, agreeing, "He took a stand that day and protected us all."

"My grandfather was a great leader," My gaze purposely fell on Isaac among the crowd; uncertainty reigned in his gaze as he stared back at me, trying to guess my next move, "And losing him was a tragedy that befell us all."

I averted my gaze away from him, "We were told it was those same enemies that killed him," I added, "That they came back, seeking revenge and shot him in his own house," I shook my head, "One thing many of you might not know but, I was in that same house that day," I explained, "I was just a floor away and I remember hearing two gunshots," I was young, but not young enough to forget.

"I still remember all of us rushing to my grandfather's office, the guards, my mother, and even me," I added, "I remember seeing a dead man on the floor, one of our very own men, he was a spy, a mole that took the chance to stab my grandfather in the back," My eyes focused on Isaac again and with every word I spoke, I took a step closer to him, "Other than him, there was another person in the room," I paused, "The hero who killed the spy and avenged my grandfather's death immediately," I taunted Isaac and he figured out what I was doing, "My dearest father."

"We owe you our lives, don't we," I asked, feigning appreciation, "If it wasn't for you, that man would've come after my mother, me, and god knows who else, those were your words if I correctly remember."

Isaac was wavering, right on the edge and I was about to push him down with my next words, "But you see, my mother, she never believed that story," I added, my eyebrow pulling closer, "She kept digging and digging till she unraveled the real traitor," I crowded him from every corner and he was twitching now, it was just too pleasurable to watch him squirm. Maybe one of Isaac's greatest weaknesses is Nathan but another one is his power, his ego and to crumble them down to ashes in front of everyone is enough to ruin him some more.

"It was you all along," I said, "Wasn't it, father?"

"When my mother figured it all out, you threatened her with me, so she kept silent for years but she had enough and was about to reveal your truth, so...you killed her."

"That's bullshit, Nikolas, everyone knows it was the Russians who killed your grandfather, it was a great loss that shook us all," He spoke out, trying to switch the cards but my king was far ahead on the board for him to win this game now. He scoffed, acting indifferent, unaffected, and confident, "We all know you are very unstable my boy, so fabricating a story about this, isn't beyond you."

Everyone was silent, witnessing our lethal fight, there were no weapons needed in such a battle. But I was smart enough to not bring a knife into a gunfight, "You might be right," I went on with him, his insults no longer affect me, it isn't the first time for him to call me crazy, he did it so many times that I had to own it in the end, "But I am not insane enough to fabricate evidence."

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and pressed the play button, "One thing about my grandfather was that he never trusted anyone," I said, "He had installed recording devices all over the house," I smiled, "It was a bit exaggerated on his side but well, it did pay out when my mother found this one recording in specific."

The speakers that were playing soft music, it was now broadcasting the first step toward my father's downfall. My grandfather's voice enveloped the whole hall and everyone's eyes widened in shock, "I was very wrong to make you my right-hand man, Isaac, everything you are doing is not fitting for the family and doesn't represent who we are! I knew that from the very start, but my daughter's blind trust and love for you forced me to give you a chance," His voice was raising in bewilderment with every word, "Not anymore, you are not fitting for the Viarchi name and I will make sure to strip it away from you, today before tomorrow!"

"You can't and won't dare to do that," It was now my father's voice that echoed into the four walls, "I won't let you, I didn't give up on everything, I didn't marry your whore of a daughter so I would be thrown out of here in the end," In front of me, my father stood wide-eyed, speechless and stripped of every ounce of confidence and power he thought he owned. I am hitting him right where it hurts.

"You broke so many rules-"

"You and your fucking rules!" My father shot back with hot pure anger, "We weren't brought here to follow goddamn rules, we are in this specific part of the world to break them. Morals and ethics aren't the way to lead this family-"

"You have no idea what it takes to be a leader."

"I do, and I just need you to be out of the picture to do it."

"That's enough!" My grandfather bellowed back, "Mikael, throw him out of here, now!"

Mikeal was the one blamed for my grandfather's murder for all these years, but he was just another one of my father's victims. Screams and swearing filled the air from the audio before one gunshot resonated deep and everyone in the crowd gasped. It was the first gunshot that killed Mikeal.

"What did you do?!" My grandfather snapped.

"Someone needs to be framed for what I am about to do next," That's when the second shot came, and I remembered the exact day I heard it, how scared I was, how I rushed out of the room, calling for my mother, thinking she got hurt. Never did I expect that the next time I hear them, I would feel the exact opposite, powerful, especially when the color started to leave Isaac's face.

The chattering of the crowd intensified and I backed away, looking at them all, "See, this is the type of leader you all chose," I said, "I advise you to choose better the next time."

I knew they weren't about to attack him on the spot. Everyone in this room had blood on their hands but at least now, they got a glimpse of Isaac's truth, and it won't be long before his rein ends, the crown is slipping right out of his hands and that uncertain scared look in his eyes, that's all I needed for now.

*****************

Natalie's POV

Holy cow!

I knew this wasn't going to be your usual normal type of party but Jesus christ, that was another level of fucked up.

Nikolas left Isaac's side and came back to mine, "Shall we go?" He asked, offering me his hand.

I nodded my head multiple times, placing my hand in his and letting him lead the way. I was terrified of what could unravel if we stayed. The place was a ticking bomb and it could explode all over our heads any minute now,

"That was...something else," I mumbled once we stepped outside into the cold air, unable to find a suitable word to describe what just happened.

I looked at Nikolas, trying to read his expression. He looked more composed and in control than I've ever seen him, "When did you learn about this?"

"Recently," He answered, "It's what my mother left behind for me."

I nodded, "She gave you the match, and you-"

"Set the whole thing on fire," He continued the words on my behalf and I nodded, letting out a low breath of distress. The whole event was nerve-wracking, and even when it is over, I still feel tenser than ever.

"First Nathan, and now this," I said, thinking of all things bad, "Isaac is going to retaliate, Nikolas." And it is going to be bad.

He nodded, believing in that fact as well, "I am waiting for him to do it."

His words had me gulping down. It took me back to the day of his mother's funeral, to how he told me that he is not scared of anything anymore. Maybe he isn't but his current state is scaring me, to be honest.

"Will you relax," Nikolas urged and I turned my head, looking up at him. Six feet-plus of perfectly controlled male power stood beside me and I tried to do as he said. I breathed out, slowly releasing the stress from my nerves.

"That's it, I don't wanna join any of your parties anymore," I remarked, turning my tone playful.

Nikolas chuckled lowly and nodded his head, "I won't force another one on you, I promise," He said, keeping his hand wrapped over mine as we waited for the valet to bring his car.

"You better not," I started to say as my gaze flickered down to my shoe, noticing how the knot had loosened from over my lace-up high heel. Damn it. I was about to lean down and fix it but Nikolas's hand over my arm pulled me back up. My eyebrows pulled together and I looked at him, baffled, "What?"

His expression shifted slightly, "What are you doing?"

My eyebrow raised, "Fixing my shoe," I said in a matter-of-a-fact tone.

He looked down at it, then back at my face, "Well, when you bend down like that," His jaw tightened when his eyes flickered to the people around us, specifically to one of the valet boys who immediately looked away from us, "Yeah?" I questioned, urging him to continue.

He waved his hand at my chest area, "Things show," He said and I laughed. He is so cute, he just called my boobs things.

I looked down at myself and true to his words, the dress's neck was a bit loose so it is bound to go lower when I bend down, "Okay, let them show, it's not like I have big boobs or something, I just need to fix my shoe-" I was about to bend down again but Nikolas, being a stubborn ass, pulled me back up again.

"Natalie!" He warned, his jaw set tight.

I threw my arms up in the air, "How am I gonna fix it without bending!"

He shot me a glare, as if he was the right one over here, "I will do it," He grumbled out, having enough of me as he bent down. My eyes grew wide, especially when I looked down and he was on one knee, and fixing my shoe. My face flushed all over, god, there was something so insane about a strong man like him, the same man who initiated a war just seconds ago, to be leaning down, on his knee to fix my stupid shoe.

When he straightened himself, he was still glaring at me, "Satisfied?"

I gulped down, needing some saliva to water my dry mouth. Holy cow. I nodded my head. I was beyond satisfied, "God, that was hot," I mumbled just as the valet went out of the car for us to get in.

Nikolas's grumpy expression faded away, his lips twitched as he rested his hand on my lower back and gently pushed me toward the car, he opened my door, "Don't worry, the next time we will be in that position, you are gonna be the one on your knees," He threw the comment ever so casually, I literally choked on my saliva.

It wasn't like him to make a dirty comment like that, so I wasn't gonna miss my chance, "I will be on my knees doing what exactly?" I questioned with a tease, flashing him an innocent smile and batting my eyelashes like the little angel I am.

His eyebrow raised at my comment and he nodded his head toward the car, "Get inside and you will get to find out later," Oh dear lord, who is this man and where is my Nikolas?

*****************

We didn't speak much on the ride back home, Nikolas was on the phone with Emma, and I was on mine, texting Sarah about my next week's schedule since all of my patients were getting directed to another doctor and I was about to lose my job very soon. Awesome...

I checked on dad's situation and he seemed to be in a much better state than last night. At least, that was good news to lift my mood up.

Every other thought got whisked away when we walked into the house. Thoughts of last night, of our silly bet, and the mere anticipation of what could happen rasped against my skin and hung heavy in the air surrounding us. I felt myself turn red all of a sudden. Even though he spoke no word yet, I was sure something will happen very soon. No interruptions this time. My phone is on silent, and I heard Nikolas order Ronald to keep an eye on Isaac for the night, so I am guessing he won't come back here. I have a feeling Nik did that on purpose but I can't prove it.

I paused by the long mirror in the hallway, taking a lookover at myself again. I smoothed my hand over the dress and found myself smiling involuntarily, "Do I get to keep the dress?" I asked, grabbing Nikolas's gaze at me.

He looked at me for a second too long, then he simply said, "Yes."

I turned away from the mirror to face him, "Well, then I must find an expensive gift for you too," I said, I hated to be gifted something and not return it back in some way. My eyebrows pulled closer, thinking of any possible gift fitting for him.

I can't get him a suit, he already has millions of them, and he owned the best quality. My eyes fell into his wrist, I can't get him a watch, unless I want to sell my kidney, and I feel rather attached to my kidney at the moment...what else can I get him? Does he have any hobbies? Oh, a gun would be fitting, he is very attached to it, but I bet he has a collection of them, damn it.

I scrunched my eyebrows, annoyed at him because he wasn't an easy person to figure out, "Is there anything that you like?"

His lips twitched at my frustration and he nodded his head, "Yes," He said, "You."

My eyebrow raised, "I can't gift you myself, I already agreed to be your girlfriend."

It's gonna need serious deep thinking to find a gift for this man. What do you bring to someone who has almost everything but also likes nothing? Just my luck to be stuck with a man like that...I remember Sarah gifting her husband the latest PlayStation on his birthday and he became the happiest man on the planet. He still worships the land she walks on to this day. If I were to gift that to Nikolas, he'll probably not know what it is and throw it away...

My gaze curiously drifted around his house, maybe I could find a clue about some secret hobby he has but I came out empty-handed. Nikolas's amused eyes followed me around, content in seeing me so very curious about him. I walked into his room, thinking my holy grail would be found within these walls but nada. This man will always be a closed book.

I stopped in my tracks when my eyes fell onto the painting hanging above the bed, the one his mother drew. I stood there for a second or two, mesmerized. She really was talented. My eyes narrowed at the painting; could Nikolas be into art too? Imma have to figure that out.

Massie was sleeping on his bed, her favorite spot, apparently. When he walked into the room, she jumped off the bed and ran toward him, rubbing her head all over his leg and welcoming him home. Talk about betrayal. He stared down at her with an annoyed stare and tried to push her off. The second she was out of the room, he closed the door shut. One, so she won't come back in. Two, maybe because he was thinking of resuming last night's events...who knew.

I tried to play it coy; like I wasn't dying to have his lips on mine again, "I better go change and you know..." I mumbled, shrugging as I headed for the door.

"I don't suppose you have other plans for the night," He said, his tone neutral and the blood roared in my ears at the hint of invitation in his words.

I turned around, looking at him and I shook my head, "No."

"Good," He said, his voice so relaxed as he placed his phone on the nightstand before he sat down at the bed's edge, his eyes didn't meet mine as he took off his watch, "Because I have a debt to collect," The only thing I heard other than his smooth voice was the sound of my heartbeats accelerating and the clinking sound of the watch as he let it rest beside his phone.

He unbuttoned one of his shirt's sleeves, "Take off your dress, Natalie."

And just like that, I was a gone case.

He used that same commanding tone, the contradiction between the softness and the hardness in his voice was ready to convince me of just anything. He would say milk is black and the sun is blue, and I would just believe him.

When I didn't move, his eyes flickered to me, they were ablaze with heat and I burned, the intensity of it scorching over my skin. My breath hitched and I reached behind me, ready to do as he said. I edged forward, moving closer to his side, "I need help," I mumbled lowly, unable to untie the knot, my hands were practically shaking.

Nikolas's eyes flickered up at me, the darkness of his pupils swallowing down the green. He didn't speak, his hands sneaked up my hips, very gentle at first, like a caress before both hands rested over my waist, gripping it. I thought he was about to untie the straps but he used his grip to pull me down and guide me into his lap. I gasped lowly, and my hand fell into his shoulder, seeking support as his little action knocked my balance and the breath from my lungs. His hands reached for my back, untying the straps, his fingers brushing my sensitive skin and I shivered at their warmness.

I moved my hand from over his shoulder and to the side of his neck, his eyes were on mine as he moved the thin strap down my shoulder, allowing the dress to fall and reveal my bare upper body to him. No bra. Nothing. Just my heart that was about to break free from the tight confines of my chest.

Nikolas didn't let me think and he crashed his mouth on mine, swallowing down my gasp. He fisted his hand over my hair pulling me closer to him and crushing my chest against his hard one. He was still fully clothed that I wanted to cry out. I shifted in his lap, allowing the dress to smoothly slid off my legs and into a black puddle by our feet. I was fully bare for him now, just a thin underwear than could be easily slid off. I started to unbutton his shirt, never once breaking the contact of our lips, desperate to have skin on skin.

He sucked on my tongue and the low sound he made along with his greedy action gave me the most exhilarating, enticing sensation I've ever left. A piercing need flooded me, the kind of longing I'd never known before. The heat of his kiss made me quake and ache for more, every thrust of his tongue pushing me deeper and deeper into a whirlwind that revolved and focused only on him. At this moment, there was only Nikolas in this world. No one else. No one before him and no one after.

The pool of heat gathering between my legs made me shift on top of him, straddling him better, seeking and needing something. He knew what I needed and with his hand over my waist, he adjusted me so that we were fitted just right. I almost jumped from the shock of electricity that surged through my nerves. He felt so big and thick underneath me, and if it wasn't for his clothes, he'd be inside me right now. The thought and the sensation had me involuntarily moan into his mouth, "Nikolas."

The pit of my stomach clenched so tight, needing something so bad, a release, friction so I listened to my body and slowly rocked against his hardness, wanting it, needing it. A pained groan rumbled from his chest and he brought me down by the hips, adjusting my position and leading my movements, his breathing rough and uneven in my ear, and I was about to unravel all over him from the very start.

He edged back slightly, his face so perfect, even this close, every little imperfection was just so perfect. Achingly beautiful. His eyes were green lava, and his breaths were as ragged as mine. He does want me just as much, it makes me want to squeal. All the pent-up desire since I met this man was about to explode inside of me, "If you don't just flip me over and fuck me, I am going to die," I grumbled out, my hormones speaking for me.

Before I could finish my words, he was already lifting me up in his arms like I weighed nothing. He lowered me into the bed, biting down at my lower lip, "What am I gonna do with this mouth of yours," He said and I looked at him, my palm resting over his cheek, smiling coyly, "Anything you want."

"Don't say that," He said, his jaw clenching underneath my touch, "You won't handle the things I want."

Oh damn.

It's not like I've never had sex before. I did. A couple of times. It was...good. Not too bad, but it wasn't like everyone explained and gushed about. I had an orgasm or two, no thanks to the guy on the other end of the deal, of course. But with Nikolas, a kiss and a mere touch are enough to push me right off the edge and into that blissfulness. I feel like with him, I can ask for anything and he would do it. With him, I could live my wildest darkest fantasies that I never dared to say out loud. All at the right time, of course. Step by step.

He was about to edge back, "Don't..." I almost cried out, "Don't leave me, just stay," I curled my arms around his shoulders, scared if he pulled away we'll never get to finish this.

And he did as I wanted, pressing his lips back into mine, "Natalie, I would never leave you," He mumbled into my mouth. His lips are hot, and tasting my own as he slid his hand up the side of my body. His mouth started to go down just as his hands went upward.

He nipped at my breasts, his breath hot on my skin and his tongue wet and warm. My head rolled a little on the bed when he licked one nipple and then the other, "Oh god, what are you doing," I tried to breathe as waves and waves of pleasure rolled through me. I wanted to understand the magic that is his tongue and how is it possible to make me feel so damn much.

The wet soft strokes tickled me when he started to kiss down to my belly button. I laughed a little then moaned when he went back up and licked my nipple again. Then, he was tugging on my panties and removing them away. I suddenly became very self-aware of how I was fully open for him to see now. True, I was blunt all the time, but something about this specific moment gets me so flustered.

Nikolas sensed my little hesitation when I clenched my legs, closing them. He slid his hand up my thigh, and his eyes flickered to me, "Relax," He said, his words held a softness to calm me down, "It's just me, Natalie," He edged closer and closed his mouth back into mine, easing me back in, "Don't be shy with me, I want to look at you, to taste you, and to hear you let go," He murmured, looking at me with two very different emotions, one so hungry, ready to devour and ruin me and the other trying to be tender for my sake only; and damn it, I wanted all of that and more. I wanted his bad untamed side just as much as his good gentle one.

"Then, take off your clothes too," I urged, my voice weak, a bit embarrassed, "You are fully clothed and I am all naked, it makes me feel vulnerable," I admitted and he listened to me. He edged backward, popping the rest buttons of his shirt free. He stood at the edge of the bed and I got up on my knees, helping him and pushing it off his chest. He quickly shrugged it off his shoulders, letting it fall down and I couldn't help but look.

His chest is ripped, tanned, gloriously defined, and just utterly perfect.

I ran my fingers up the grooves of his abs, to his chest, and over every scar in sight. I looked up at him, "Does this make you uncomfortable?" I whispered, remembering a time when he used to forbid me from touching them.

He silently shook his head and I edged closer, my hands gently resting over his chest as my lips first met the side of his neck, kissing the scar there and following the way it was engraved down to his chest with my lips, he didn't stop me, "And this?" I murmured against his hot skin before I lifted my gaze up to meet his liquid warm gaze.

He shook his head, his eyes bare for me to see everything, the chaos, the mess, the hurt, the pain, and everything else he was feeling and had once felt. He rested his palm over my cheek, "Natalie," My name left his mouth with a distinct rawness and he looked like he was about to say something but he held himself back, one emotion only evident in his eyes. An emotion I knew, I knew so well, one I felt and fought, one I understood but he couldn't comprehend its intensity.

Before he could say a thing, I edged closer and pressed my lips into his, silencing his words because if he said them out loud, I might cry and I might stop myself from indulging in this. It would make it all so real, and I don't want this to be real. I just want this to be a stolen moment. No more, no less.

I managed to free his belt and I threw it aside, tugging at his zipper, and fumbling with it. A low sound of need left me when he pulled down his slacks and I finally got to see him. A storm of desires rocked my body, my pulse accelerating with anticipation as I looked at him, "I mean I did have my pre-assumptions but..." Holy cow. He is bigger than anything I imagined. I licked my lips, so anxious, my eyes running up his length and I couldn't wait any longer. I needed him. No foreplay, nothing else, just him inside of me, every inch of him.

I felt the tension knotting from the core of my body, "Nikolas, I can't do foreplay now," I was already trembling, "I've waited long enough."

A dark smile broke onto his lips, "I was going to take my sweet time with you," He stated, edging closer, "But I will do what you want this time," His skin felt so smooth and hot and hard when he lowered himself on me, "Next time, it will be my turn."

I nodded, my mouth dry, "Okay, promise," I don't know what I was saying, I just needed this.

He dove down onto my mouth, twirling and pushing my own tongue with his, showing and teaching it how to move, and what to taste, "Nikolas, I want you now, please," I murmured into his mouth just as he settled between my thighs, I felt him so close and the surge of electricity from his touch only almost knocked me unconscious. Oh god, why was I so responsive to every touch from him?

He curled his fingers around my waist and pinned my hips down, stopping me from tossing and writhing as he pushed the first few inches of himself inside me. I yelled or screamed, or moaned...whatever that sound coming from me, it wasn't anything I had control of.

He held me pinned, watching my face as he slowly plowed inside me a few more inches, studying my reaction and helping me adjust. I gasped. Euphoria swept through me and I pressed my hand over my mouth, trying to stop another loud moan from tearing up my throat.

He flexed his hips, moving in deeper and I lost my breath, my heart, my everything. We were both motionless for a full second from the pleasure. We stared at each other, each taking in the other's face as if we can't believe we were here, sharing this moment, "I can't breathe," I mumbled, breathless still.

I curled my legs around him, my arms around his shoulders, clasping him to me. His hardness against my softness. He was a total contradiction to everything I knew and believed in and despite all of that, I've never wanted anyone as much as I wanted him. He pulsed inside me and I clenched my fingers in his hair, wanting more, afraid of more, and he made a sound that rumbled in his chest and that I can actually feel against my own.

His green eyes flared ever so bright and with emotions so raw. Every nerve and muscle in my being tightened with the urge to orgasm to that look alone.

I don't think he has ever looked at me like this.

A sound tore out of both of us as he withdrew, prolonging the moment, watching me with those burning green eyes, then he thrust all the way in, our skins slapping, our bodies arching. A sound rumbled up his chest, low and deep, his lips pressing into mine, "Can you breathe now?" He grated out of this thick throat.

There's this hunger. This need to feel him, connect to him.

There's nothing else. No one else. Only us moving. The sounds of the sheets rustling beneath us. Our breaths, our mouths as we kissed and tasted.

He filled my lungs with the oxygen after his kiss and he knocked it right off when he moved out of me and then back in, and I moaned as our flesh touched with his motions, establishing a rhythm that is deep and savoring and intense, almost as if he couldn't control it anymore.

With every thrust I felt so full, my spine arched and my nails clawed at the flexed skin and muscle at his shoulders. I'm between screams and pleas, laughter and tears. I don't know what to think or say or do...or even feel. It felt like a dream, or a nightmare.

Powerful. I felt so powerful and so weak. His pull toward me is undeniable, and so is mine for him. I'm terrified out of my mind and at the same time, I'm helpless to resist. I want more. I bit his shoulder. My nails claw at his back. I wanted to cry. I could no longer coherently think. All of my emotions mixed and got tangled up.

His body was powerful and more precise as he prolonged every thrust, taking me higher and higher up that hill. His head ducked and he tasted the tips of my breasts again, tugging with his teeth, and smoothing with his tongue.

The brief teasing we've enjoyed, the push and pull, the flirting, the one minute in and the other out...those were innocent unknown questions we tried to answer. But this, it was a torrent of devastating desire.

He thrust again, his mouth on mine, his body relentless, neither of us letting the other breathe, think, or stop. I don't think I am capable of lasting another minute. How could've we gone months without this?

I felt so close, right on the edge, and my eyes pressed shut, gasping for air, for a release, "Look into my eyes. Don't look away until you come apart for me, Natalie."

His voice was commanding. Harsh. Ragged.

And I do as he wanted. My eyes fall into his and I feel a ball of fire bursting from inside me. I gasped and convulsed beneath him, his name raw on my lips, a plea, and a prayer. His green eyes mercilessly watched me as I unraveled at the seams.

He kept me in place as I came, driving slower and more deliberately inside me to prolong my orgasm, watching me with burning eyes and then kissing my mouth the rest of the way through as he moved faster, deeper, as exquisitely as ever.

And then, what killed me and brought me back to life is the way his powerful arms clenched all around me and I knew he was letting go, coming with me.

We stayed motionless for a long time after.

He was breathing deeply, and I was breathing fast.

I smiled against his face as he set it down against mine while we both recovered, "Tell me again why we didn't do this before?" I questioned lowly, so worn out.

He laughed softly. All hot and male against me before he rolled to his back and settled me against his bare chest, brushing my hair back, "I have no idea."

I wrapped my arm around his waist, burying myself deeper into him and humming, "It's okay, we'll make up for the lost time."

I felt his lips press into my forehead tenderly, and he was about to say something when all of a sudden, I realized what we did, or...how we did it.

A loud gasp left my mouth and I pushed myself away and sat up. My wide eyes were on him and he got shaken back to reality at my reaction, his muscles tensing up, "What's wrong?"

Oh god, I was never this reckless before, "We didn't use a condom!" I snapped, bewildered at myself then at him, "I was too absorbed by your hotness to remember," I slapped his arm, "How could you be reckless too, oh god, I don't want to get pregnant, not now..."

I pressed a hand over my forehead, feeling lightheaded and the thought of getting pregnant so soon and like this almost knocked me unconscious. Oh no, nope. Not like this, I won't allow it.

"Natal-"

"Shush, we both are so stupid!" I looked back at him, scolding. Why wasn't he panicking like me, "How can you be so calm!" I shot out, "There is a big chance you just knocked me up." I started to make the calculations in my head, and yeah, it is my fertile window. Great, just great.

"Of course, I will get pregnant after our first time, of course, just my luck," I scoffed at myself, reaching for something to cover my naked body. His shirt was the closest thing so I picked it up and wore it.

"It's not that easy, Natalie."

"Of course, it's that easy, your sperms are walking up to my eggs right now," My eyes widened, "Oh, no, I am not letting them!"

I stood up and started jumping, up and down. Nikolas regarded me with a weirded-out, confused look, "What are you doing exactly?"

"I am pushing them down," I said, slightly panting.

His eyebrow raised, "I don't think that's how it works."

I shot him a glare and stopped jumping, "It's how gravity works, isn't it?"

I clutched at my chest, the fear knocking me breathless. See, this is what pleasure does to your brain, it numbs it from thinking rationally. Stupid me, so stupid.

I facepalmed, I so badly wanted to cry, "Oh god, this can't be happening," Calm and easy Nate, calm and easy, you can take the after-morning pill and all can be solved. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"It's not like I don't like babies, I do, really, but from far away, and not now...not now, or like this, we just started dating again for fuck's sake, oh here I am panicking again, why is too hot in here, I feel like I am about to faint, and my stomach is hurting, I wanna throw up, oh god, throwing up reminds me of morning sickness, no, no, I don't want to be pregn-"

I gasped when Nikolas's hand curled over my arm and pushed me back into the bed, "Can you calm down and stop talking for a second so I can explain," He grated out, lines etching his forehead.

I groaned, I wanted to smash his pretty face into the wall, it's all because of him, "Explain what, it's biology, Nikolas, did you not pay attention in biology lessons?!"

"Yes, and I paid attention when the doctor told me I can't have kids, at least not as easy as a one-time thing."

My whole world paused into a halting stop at that exact second. My face paled and my heart, it just stopped beating altogether, "What?" I whispered in shock.

But, what about....?

He stared back at me, studying my reaction and my breath came out stuttering, "I..." I didn't know what to say.

My mind took me back to the report I once read, the one explaining his case, and my heart dissolved into my chest, "Is it because..." I could feel the tears gather in my eyes, "It is because of what your uncle did?"

He nodded his head. He was calm. Composed. Almost like he was used to this by now, or maybe he just made his peace with it.

Nothing made sense to me anymore...

I kept looking at him, speechless, tears heavy in my eyes but haven't crossed the threshold yet. My chest tight, and my heart so heavy.

All the possible things his uncle has done to him to reach this stage rushed and formed in my brain and I couldn't master up the courage to say anything.

My heart felt like a fist in my chest and so did my lungs. Tears flew down, unable to contain my pain not when I got a little glimpse of the possible pain he had to go through at one stage. He was a kid. Just a kid. What was his fault?

I pushed myself forward, my chest crashing into his as I tightly wrapped my arms around his neck. He tensed at first before I felt his arm sneak up and wrap around my body. My eyes pressed shut and I pressed my cheek against his hair.

Here I was complaining, trying to learn what the best gift for him would be, trying to figure out his hobbies and I didn't pause to think of one thing; how could I expect him to have a normal person's hobby when he had spent all of his childhood locked up between fours walls and getting tortured...

True, he does own everything, materialistic-wise, and he could get just anything he wants or desires, but there was a hell of a lot I could gift him still.

I pulled back slightly, my fingers brushing his face, my vision blurry as I pecked his lips, and I decided to start by gifting him the simplest ones of them all.

A promise of a future, one vigorous enough to erase the past; and a love, one that could drown oceans and conquer all.

**************************

Hey!

First, you can blame my work for my messy updating schedule. Two of my colleagues left the company, so all the work load is on me, I am crying everyday and I am this 🤏🏻 close to quitting...

Anyways, how was the chapter? It was long. I hope you liked it! :)

Nik is winning points over Isaac, and one can only wonder; how will Isaac retaliate? ;)

Please do vote and leave your opinion. See ya next chapter! :)